Van (Pushing Daisies Book 2)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  Plus, he’d kissed me. Or rather, we’d kissed. He’d made the first move, but I’d closed that gap. And a glorious kiss it was. I’d thought about what it’d be like to kiss him many, many times.

  The reality was so much better.

  Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice anyone around me or anyone I’d passed on my slow walk back to the bus. I had more time than Van did before the show so I took my time getting ready. It was stupid, really. I was going to watch from the side of the stage. No one would see me, but there was still a need inside me to look cute without going overboard. I wanted to look cute, not made up.

  I skipped makeup, other than a little lip gloss. Cleaning it off after would be a pain and I’d sworn to myself that I’d never go to sleep with makeup on if I could help it. Dressing up for Van wasn’t a concern because we’d just spent the day together and I’d been sweaty. He hadn’t seemed to care. And I’d gotten a text from Lawson that he wanted to talk to me, so I knew I’d be going right back to the bus after the show.

  My first stop when I got into the arena was Courting Chaos’ dressing room. I knocked because I did not want to walk in on anyone naked. When the door opened, it was Barrett on the other side.

  “Hey, Lexi. Come on it.” She stepped aside so that I could get by.

  Barrett and I had gotten to know each other a bit in the past week. She and Daisy were already friends. It was natural, given that there weren’t many women on the tour, the two that were would gravitate toward one another. Paige had gone back to work after that first show, but Indie and Bellamy were still here. The five of us had hung out a little. As much as you could hang out while on a rock tour.

  I glanced around the room. The guys were there but not paying any attention to me other than to say hello, but it was Lawson I wanted to talk to. He was in the one corner tapping away on his iPad.

  “Hey, Lawson,” I said, which forced him to look up. I never understood how these guys could ignore what was happening around them. If someone entered a room I was in, I looked up.

  “Lexi,” he said, dipping his head. “What’s up?”

  “Is it a big deal if I watch the show tonight from the side of the stage?” I asked. “I see people over there and I won’t be in the way.”

  “That’s usually where I watch,” Barrett offered, letting us know she was listening.

  “So, it’s OK then?”

  “Of course. You can go anywhere you want,” he told me. “That’s the point of your pass. But I would stay clear of the roadies. They’re usually on a mission when they’re working.”

  “Will do.”

  “You get my text earlier?” he asked, watching me with that brotherly eye.

  “Yes,” I told him slowly. “Which was why I responded.”

  “He hasn’t looked at his phone in hours,” Barrett interjected, which got her a stern look from my brother. She just laughed. Lawson didn’t scare her.

  “I’ll see you after the show,” he told me, which I knew was my dismissal. It wasn’t weird. He had more work to do and Pushing Daisies was about to go on, so I wanted to get in place anyway.

  “Bye, Lexi,” all the guys from Courting Chaos called out at the same time. Those guys were like having four additional brothers and that thought scared the crap out of me.

  “I’ll see you there as soon as I can,” Barrett told me quietly as I passed by her. I nodded to let her know I’d heard her.

  The arena was dark when I stepped out into it. There was all this side stage area to choose from. No, it wasn’t the best view in the place, but I could listen to the music and still see the bands. Daisy was always amazing to watch.

  When I heard Pushing Daisies coming up behind me, I didn’t dare turn to look. Not wanting Van to think I was looking for him seemed important to me for some reason. My guess was that feeling was due to everyone else being around and we’d only kissed. It wasn’t like we declared our love for one another and wanted to go public.

  I didn’t need to find him, it turned out. Daltrey went by first, then Bonham, then Daisy. Van would be last. When I felt a hand slide across my lower back quickly right at the spot where my shirt met my shorts, I knew he was there. His thumb slipped under my shirt and brushed against my skin. My spine stiffened from that small touch. Somehow, I felt that quick brushing across my entire body.

  It made no sense that he’d accomplished so much in barely more than a moment. But he had and I pressed my thighs together to ease the pressure that was suddenly there.

  Before their first song started, I pulled out the earplugs Lawson had given me when I’d first arrived from my pocket and slipped them in place. Being this close to the speakers could’ve easily damaged my hearing.

  Pushing Daisies played the same set I’d been seeing them play since I’d gotten here, yet it was also somehow different. Maybe it was because Van glanced my way pretty regularly. Maybe it was because I knew he knew I was there. Maybe it was the wink he gave me or one of the times our eyes locked. I never thought I’d tire of watching him on stage. No matter what happened between us or if nothing more happened.

  Watching him would always be a joy.

  All too quickly, the four of them were filing back by me. That had gone by too fast. Van was the last one again, but this time, when he passed me, he slid an arm around my shoulders and pulled me along. I quickly yanked the earplugs from my ears as soon as we passed the threshold into the hallway.

  “You got a minute?” he asked right into my ear.

  I nodded then he led me down the hall. We passed both dressing rooms and didn’t stop until he pulled me into a room I hadn’t even noticed was there.

  Van shut the door behind us then backed me up to the small table in the middle of the room. There was a slight moment of panic that this table wasn’t going to hold me. It wasn’t my weight that concerned me. It was the sturdiness of the table.

  “You’re all sweaty,” I told him as he leaned into me. He probably should’ve smelled bad given how much he’d worked on stage but somehow, he still smelled like Van. Clean… musky… spring rain, maybe? That would’ve been his deodorant I wouldn’t think. I don’t know.

  “I am.” But he backed away just enough to pull his shirt up and wipe down his face. He didn’t need to do that. I might’ve been harassing him but I wouldn’t have cared either way. “Better?”

  “I didn’t say that I cared that you were sweaty.”

  He chuckled quietly as he weaseled his way back between my legs. His hand came to rest on the side of my face and his thumb ran over the skin over my cheekbone.

  Being this close to him was making it hard to breathe.

  “Did you enjoy the show?” he asked equally as quietly as he had been before.

  I nibbled on my bottom lip and nodded.

  “You’re going to need to stop biting that bottom lip,” he told me.

  “Why?”

  “Because it makes me want to do the same thing.”

  I raised an eyebrow and said, “Then why don’t you?”

  He groaned right before diving in and claiming my lips with his. He tasted salty from the sweat, but his tongue tasted like mint. It was such a yin and yang thing happening in my mouth and I loved it. My bones turned to jelly the more he touched me.

  When he pulled back slightly, he took my bottom lip between his teeth and brought it with him before letting it pop back in place. The sensation of his teeth scraping on my lip was felt much lower in my body. Like maybe he’d scrape them somewhere else entirely.

  Van had to do almost nothing or the simplest thing and it would make me start to get wet. I didn’t think that was totally normal as it’d never happened with anyone else.

  “Damn,” he said with a sigh as he rested his forehead against mine.

  “No kidding.”

  “What’re you doing right now?”

  I looked into his eyes and furrowed my brows. He knew what I was doing right now.

  He gave me a great smile and shook his head. “I me
ant after this. Want to hang out?”

  Ugh. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to spend time with him when he wanted me to. “Yes, but I can’t. Barrett is meeting me to watch Courting Chaos then Lawson wants to talk to me after.”

  One corner of his mouth turned up as if he knew something I didn’t. “Wonder what that’s about.”

  “He’s helping me out with something and that’s probably what it’s about.” Or I hoped it was, given that I would’ve loved to have that stupid profile deleted. But now I also really wanted to know what Van was thinking my brother wanted.

  “Is that part of what you didn’t want to talk about earlier?”

  I nodded.

  “Do you think you’ll tell me about it eventually?”

  I shrugged. Telling him wasn’t something I wanted to do ever. It was embarrassing. Humiliating. No. It’d be better to let it die once Lawson got it taken care of.

  “All right,” he said, but it sounded more like a sigh. “I have to go shower before I really start to stink.”

  “Two showers in one day?” I teased as I hopped down off the table.

  “Both cold.”

  I snorted because I doubted they were actually cold showers, but it was an appealing concept. That I might’ve turned him on so much with only a kiss that he needed to cool himself off gave me a bit more confidence than I’d been feeling before.

  We left that room, but this time, he didn’t sling his arm around my shoulder or do anything other than say goodbye as we passed his dressing room. He went inside and I went out to wait for Courting Chaos to play.

  Eventually, they too walked by the same way Pushing Daisies had. Halfway through the first song, Barrett slid in beside me.

  We talked loudly directly into each other’s ears as they played, but mostly, we let loose and danced. It was easy. It was fun. This tour was exactly what I’d been needing. Staying home locked up in my room would’ve made everything worse. At least this way, I was living a life, not hiding away from a bunch of bullies.

  Barrett and I said goodnight as soon as the guys got done playing. She still had work to do, I assumed, and I was looking forward to getting into my pajamas.

  That was exactly what I did when I got back to the bus. Then I sat at the table playing Words with Friends with Van until Lawson and Daisy came through the door.

  “Great show, Daisy,” I told her.

  “Thanks.” She smiled over at me. “Each one feels a little different, ya know? Even though they’re the same.”

  “You’re always great,” Lawson told her, pulling her close to him, then kissing the side of her head.

  These two were something else. Sweet and I’d never seen my brother be this way with anyone. It’s how I knew that they were in it to win it.

  “So what’s up?” I asked, glancing from him to Daisy. I didn’t want to talk about my problems in front of her, assuming he hadn’t told her about what I was going through. I supposed if he had, that would’ve been natural. Couples told each other things all the time. But I hoped he hadn’t.

  Lawson shook his head as if he could hear my thoughts, then said, “I saw you getting out of that car with Van earlier. Where’d you two go?”

  Daisy groaned and dropped into the seat across from me as I raised my brows. “You want to know why I was with Van earlier? I didn’t even see you out there.”

  “I know you didn’t.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “What were you doing, Lexi Styles?”

  “Oh, we’re pulling out the full names, Lawson Styles?”

  Daisy snorted but stayed quiet.

  “Just what were you doing with Van today?”

  I shook my head. It was none of his business, but I wasn’t hiding anything. Well…I wasn’t hiding everything.

  “We’re friends,” I told him. “We went to a park. The Ringing Rocks Park or whatever. They have rocks that actually ring and it was pretty awesome. He of course ended up playing something on the rocks, which caused a crowd to gather, but it was fun. It also has a waterfall. I have a video of it if you’d like to see it.”

  Daisy popped up beside me. “I would.”

  So I slid my phone across the table, unlocked it, and scrolled to the video in question. It wasn’t long, but she and I watched it as I felt the weight of Lawson’s stare.

  “Damn, that looks fun,” she said once the video ended. “I wish he would’ve told me he was going. I would’ve gone too.” Then her gaze jumped to mine. “I mean if I wasn’t third-wheeling it.”

  “You wouldn’t have been,” I assured her. “We’re friends.” Who have kissed twice, but they didn’t need to know that.

  “I’m worried.” Lawson let that tough exterior slip just a little. That was when I noticed his hair looked like it’d had some fingers raking through it. Such an odd juxtaposition to the suit he was wearing. Though he didn’t have a tie on. I’d guessed the hair was Daisy’s doing.

  “Worried about what?” I asked though I’d given him a bunch to worry about lately.

  “That Van is trying to fuck with me.”

  I shook my head in confusion. “What would that have to do with me?”

  “Come on, Lexi.” He tossed his hands in the air as if I were exasperating him. “He’s still being a salty little bitch about me being with Daisy. What better way to get back at me than to fuck with my sister?”

  I pushed up from my seat. This seemed like a conversation to be had standing.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what he was saying, but it didn’t make any sense to me. And maybe there was a little bit of worry gnawing at me that Lawson could be right.

  I hated the idea of trusting the wrong person again.

  “Can you just not let him weasel his way into your life? I don’t want you to get hurt in some kind of payback from her brothers.”

  Daisy sighed and shook her head then stood up beside me.

  “I’m a big girl, Lawson,” I told him through clenched teeth. “I can take care of myself.”

  “Can you?” he spat. “Seems like there are some things that I’m taking care of for you.”

  Ouch. Hadn’t expected that to get thrown in my face.

  Something must’ve crossed my face because he quickly added, “Not that I mind. That’s what brothers are for. But I don’t want you getting in over your head.”

  “That’s not my fault,” I said quietly.

  “I know that. But I don’t want you hurt.”

  “Ohmygod.” Daisy groaned. “You’re beginning to sound just like him.”

  “Sound like who?” he asked her.

  “Van. You’re beginning to sound like Van Zant. It’s like there’s a brother manual that tells you exactly what to say because this all sounds like the crap he said to me after he found out about us.”

  “Are you saying that Van wouldn’t do something like this?” Lawson crossed his arms over his chest in a way that made him look intimidated to probably everyone in the world other than Daisy or me and he raised an eyebrow. “Get close to Lexi to get under my skin?”

  “No.” She shook her head again, the red locks brushing against her back as she moved. “I’m not saying that he wouldn’t make you think that he was doing exactly that to fuck with you. I’m saying I don’t think he’d actually do that and besides have you ever considered that Van likes her?”

  Hearing Daisy say that even she didn’t think Van would use me to mess with Lawson made me feel a lot better. There was a difference between making Lawson think he was doing something and actually doing it.

  “No, I haven’t honestly because I just feel like he’s fucking with me.”

  Suddenly, this was no longer a conversation between my brother and me. I was more of a spectator at this point and I didn’t mind at all. Daisy was on my side and Lawson would hear her out in a way that he wouldn’t me. It came with the girlfriend territory.

  “Why?” she asked. “Is there something wrong with Lexi that means Van could
n’t possibly like her?”

  “Yeah, Lawson,” I added raising my own eyebrow. “Is there something wrong with me?”

  He held up his hands defensively. “I didn’t say that.”

  “Then what are you saying?”

  He opened his mouth, but whatever he’d planned to have come out, he thought better of it because his lips snapped closed.

  After a moment of Daisy and me giving him what I thought was the same hard stare, he threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

  “This is why I never wanted women living on my bus. You take each other’s side just because you’re both women and won’t even try to see my point of view.”

  “Oh,” Daisy spoke first. “Should I pack up my stuff and move back to my actual bus?”

  “No!” His eyes were wide like he’d just realized what he’d said. “Then I’d have to move with you and live with those fuckers.”

  At that, both she and I laughed.

  “Let’s also not forget that you invited me here,” I reminded him.

  “I know.” He nodded. “And I want you here. But can you just please not fall for him and be on guard? He’s trying to get back at me for being with Daisy. Before you got here, he said he was looking me up on the sex offender registry.”

  Daisy and I both snorted.

  “That’s a good one,” she said, more to herself than us, but she wasn’t wrong.

  “I promise to not let the villain steal my virtue.” Mostly because there was no virtue left to steal, but I had to hope Lawson didn’t think about that part.

  “Thank you.”

  My brother pulled me into his arms and gave me a tight hug, after which I went right to my bunk.

  This day had worn me out.

  8

  Van

  Not being able to hang out with Lexi after the show last night was a huge bummer. I understood, of course. Though I began to wonder if I wanted to spend time with her more than she wanted to spend time with me.

  However, the way she’d kissed me in that room told a different story.

  The feel of her beneath me had been incredible. Even with me being all sweaty and her fully clothed. I could only imagine what she’d feel like if we were both naked and I had her caged in with my body.