Van (Pushing Daisies Book 2)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  “Always compliment her looks,” Dixon offered. “Especially when she’s on her period. One day you’re going to wake up and think that’s not the woman I fell in love with, but don’t ever say that out loud. If you do, you’ll lose your balls. Just kiss her and tell her she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen.”

  “She won’t believe you,” Ransom added. “But say it anyway.”

  As if we’d planned it, we all glanced over at Dixon’s balls.

  “You know this how?” Daltrey asked as we all tried not to smile.

  “She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” I told the guys, ignoring my brother.

  “Doesn’t matter.” Dixon brushed me off. “You say it no matter what.”

  Once our laughter died down and my brothers decided they were going to find Mack, I decided to ask Cross, Ransom, Dixon, and Booker the question that still haunted me.

  “Can I ask you guys something?”

  “Sure,” Ransom answered for the entire group. Easy for him to say because he apparently didn’t get embarrassed.

  “When you guys are on the road, but your girls aren’t…How’s that work?”

  “It fucking sucks,” Booker told me. “Paige has a regular job, so she’s been back home when I’ve been on the road more than she’s been here. And it fucking sucks.”

  “Cross and I are about to be there with you, brother.” Ransom clapped Booker on the back. “Indie and Bellamy are looking for jobs now.”

  Cross groaned. “I wish they’d at least wait until the fall.”

  “They went to college long before they knew us,” Ransom reminded him. “Of course they’re going to want to use their degrees.”

  “It’s not like I want to stop her,” he countered. “I just wish they weren’t in such a rush.”

  “OK,” I said, cutting in. “But how do you make it work?”

  “Effort,” Ransom said.

  “Communication,” Booker added.

  “Cold showers,” Cross offered, which made them all laugh.

  “I—” Dixon started, but he was immediately cut off by Ransom.

  “No, no.” Ransom held a hand up to stop whatever Dixon was going to say. “You have nothing to offer here. Your girl is on the fucking tour as part of her job. You don’t know us like that. You aren’t part of this group.”

  Dixon grinned widely. “What can I say? I’m a lucky man.”

  “Fuck off,” Cross snapped, but it was all in good fun.

  “To be serious for a minute,” Booker said, cutting in. “You have to make sure your girl is secure. That you never give her a reason to get jealous or question what you’re doing.”

  “When she calls, you answer,” Cross told me.

  “And if I can’t?” I asked.

  “You send her a text telling her why you’re not answering and when you’ll call her,” Ransom explained. “Then you fucking do it.”

  “No matter what,” Booker agreed.

  “Got it,” I told them.

  We all stood at the same time. There were things we all needed to do before the show.

  “It’s daunting,” Cross told me more privately. The other three had gone ahead already. “The idea of being apart and all that, but there are planes to get you to her every chance you get and to get her to you when she can. If you love her, you’ll make it work.” He stopped and locked eyes with mine. “Do you love her?”

  The idea of loving Lexi both excited me and scared the shit out of me. “I don’t think I can say that yet.”

  “But you didn’t say no, so you probably love her. You’ll make it work.”

  He clapped me on the back twice before jogging off to catch up with the rest of his band.

  When he’d asked if I loved her, I hadn’t wanted to say no at all but couldn’t quite say yes. I’d never been in love with a woman before, so that was a hard thing for me to imagine.

  Yet I knew I didn’t want to be without her, either.

  15

  Lexi

  It’d been two weeks since my girls’ day and man had the time flown past. I’d spent as much of it with Van as possible and been to like a dozen cities, most of which I’d done a little exploring of on my own or with Indie. The sucky side of Daisy being in the band with her brothers was that she didn’t have the free time that we did. Though she did sneak away as much as she could.

  The days folded into one another so much that I’d just realized I hadn’t talked to my sister in a week. We messaged and she’d called, but I couldn’t answer. I’d sworn I’d call her right back, but then forgotten. That was the thing about being on the road the way we were. I would’ve sworn she’d called yesterday, but it’d been nine days.

  That had to be rectified. I grabbed my phone and called right away. Daisy was in the venue because Pushing Daisies was currently on the stage. Lawson was also in there because he was working, so I had the bus all to myself. That was the best time to call my sister.

  “Hey, monster,” she answered. “About time you called me back. I’m beginning to feel neglected.”

  Erica had called me monster since I’d been a baby. Or so I’d been told. Mom and Dad hadn’t meant to have any more kids after Lawson and were surprised by me six years later. Erica had to share a room, which her being nine meant baby me cramped her style. Though she never had gotten her own room until she’d gone away to college. I hadn’t been able to sleep for a week.

  “I’m so sorry. I swear to you being on tour with these guys is like a time warp. It feels like you called yesterday.”

  She laughed on the other side. Her laugh wasn’t loud or boisterous, but it was confident. If there was such a thing as a confident laugh, Erica had it. I’d never seen her confidence falter once. She was amazing.

  “At least you sound happier than you were when you left.”

  “I am,” I told her honestly. “Getting away was the right thing to do. Our mother is a genius, but if you tell her I said that I’ll never speak to you again.”

  “Is that all it’ll take?”

  “Bite me.” We laughed together. “I really am sorry.”

  “You’re fine. So tell me what it’s like being on the road.”

  “I’ve already told you about that.”

  “I know.” I imagined that she shrugged in her Erica way. “But you’ve been on tour longer now and our brother hates one of the Pushing Daisies guys, so there has to be a story.”

  I giggled into the phone. Because I hadn’t told Erica about Van, she’d only know whatever Lawson had let drop, which should’ve been almost nothing, given that he didn’t think we were serious.

  “Van,” I told her. “He hates Van Thompson.”

  “And why, sister dear, does he hate Van Thompson?”

  I bit my lips together and felt the heat in my cheeks. Telling my sister shouldn’t have been a big deal, yet it was. “We’ve kind of been seeing each other.”

  “Kind of?”

  “We’ve been seeing each other and Lawson thinks Van is using me to get back at him for Daisy. It’s dumb, but they’re boys, so it kind of makes sense.”

  “It does. What do you think?”

  “He’s not,” I said quickly. “I know he’s not. I feel he’s not.”

  “Then I’m sure he’s not,” she told me. “You’d know. I’m sure of it.” Leave it to Erica to agree with me. Of course, she’d also agreed with me once on a very unflattering hair cut I’d wanted. She’d told me afterward that the only way I’d learn was to make mistakes. “Are you in love with him?”

  I groaned and tapped my phone against my forehead three times before putting it back to my ear. “Why are you asking me that?”

  “I’m curious,” she told me, but she didn’t fully hide the laughter in her voice. What she liked was torturing me.

  “I don’t know. How could I know that? We haven’t been together long.”

  “If you love a guy, you know and there’s no time limit on that stuff. I told Seth that I love him on li
ke our third date. Granted, we talked a lot on the phone in between dates, but you’re on tour with the guy every day. You have to have at least an inkling.”

  “Maybe I have an inkling.”

  “And?”

  “My inkling is yes, but I don’t know that I’m ready to get that deep.”

  “Then don’t,” she told me. “But don’t lie to yourself is all I’m saying.”

  “I’m not. I won’t.”

  “OK, well, I should let you go live your rock star fantasy. I promised I’d watch a movie tonight.”

  “And stay awake?”

  She chuckled. “And stay awake. Love you, monster.”

  “Love you.”

  After talking to my sister, I decided it was time to do my occasional check-in on social media. I was only doing it weekly and only to check to see if Nora had gotten bored and moved on. This week, it seemed she had, but the guys who’d seen her posts hadn’t.

  There were so many DMs from randos that I didn’t know and didn’t want to know listing disgusting things they wanted to do to me. There were some posts that I couldn’t tie directly to Nora, but the information had to come from her.

  And why in the hell hadn’t Lawson gotten that profile taken down yet? I hadn’t responded to anyone. Instead of moving on, they’d found my Instagram. It was so frustrating that I wanted to throw my phone against the wall.

  Would I ever feel fine with going back home where these people might have my home address? I hated the idea of them harassing my mom or Charlie but I knew Charlie would take care of her and if they were looking to hook up with me I didn’t think they’d do anything to hurt my family. I wondered how Lawson hadn’t gotten the profile taken down yet. It was all just a dark mark on an otherwise charming life right now. After glancing at the time, I realized that Pushing Daisies would’ve probably been done by now and my frustration demanded that I go see Van.

  Just being around him would be enough.

  I stepped off the bus into the dusk, only the lot lights allowing me to see my way, but I wasn’t paying any attention anyway. I had my arms folded over in front of me as if that would create some kind of barrier between me and the world. The more I thought about Nora and her desire for revenge against me for something I’d had no idea I’d done, the more hurt I became.

  She was supposed to have been my best friend. The person I’d confided in. The person I could trust. And she’d taken all of that and stabbed me in the back with it.

  I hated that I’d told her anything about myself, but how could I have known?

  “Whoa.” Van’s voice was suddenly right in front of me and he braced himself by holding on to both of my arms. “Where are you headed?”

  I looked up at him through my lashes. “Looking for you.”

  “Found me.” He gave me a big grin that slowly slipped off his face. “What’s wrong?”

  “How do you know if anything is wrong?”

  “Your face.” He squatted down a little so we were eye level. He searched mine for the truth, but he didn’t need to do that, given I’d tell him whatever he wanted to know. “I know you, baby. What’s wrong?”

  I rolled my eyes, suddenly thankful that I hadn’t started to cry like a girl. I’d gotten angry, but not so livid that tears flowed and Nora wasn’t hurting my feelings, which meant there were none for that, either.

  “It’s dumb. I did a social media check-in and it wasn’t good.”

  “What do you mean?” He stood up but didn’t move away from me. With the difference in our heights, he was in the exact spot that I could look up at him without having to tax my neck muscles.

  “My ex-friend hasn’t stopped. Or the people she told things to haven’t stopped. And the random pervs haven’t stopped, either.”

  “Now what does that mean?” Anger edged at his voice, but he was keeping good control.

  “I told you about the messages I’ve gotten.” He nodded. “Well, I’ve gotten some more. It’s all the same stuff and they don’t know where I am, though none of them are exactly threatening. It’s just…kind of gross to know that these guys whom I’ve never met are thinking these things about me.”

  “Yeah, I don’t exactly love it, either.”

  I snorted. He probably wouldn’t. Neither would my brother. I’d given Lawson all of my social media logins and passwords, so now I wondered how much he’d seen.

  “You said Lawson’s working on it?” he asked. I nodded, but this thing seemed to be taking forever.

  “I thought about shutting down all my accounts, but Lawson wanted me to give him a chance to get the hookup app taken care of and see if he could find any evidence that it’s Nora.” I sighed. “It definitely is though.”

  “Why’s it taking so long?”

  “I don’t know, but he’s working on it. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

  “OK.” He nodded and worried his lip for all of five seconds before everything about him changed. The concern was gone, and the way he held his body became less rigid. “So what were you looking for me for?”

  I shrugged again and tried to take my cue from him. If he was shaking this off, I could too. They were only words hurting me and I could get over that.

  “Nothing specifically. Just thought being around you might make me feel better.”

  He stepped closer to me. “Oh, baby, you know I can make you feel better.”

  A loud laugh bubbled up from my chest. “That’s not what I meant.”

  He chuckled with me. “I know. But you’re laughing.” He watched me as his eyes narrowed. “You know what a situation like this needs? Ice cream. Want to go get some ice cream?”

  “I would love ice cream.”

  Van slid his arm around my shoulders and led me away from the buses.

  We didn’t have far to walk to find an ice cream shop. It was like he’d just somehow known this was here or he’d looked into it already. Once we’d ordered—me two scoops of chocolate with caramel swirl and him two scoops of strawberry cheesecake—we chose a small table that was by the front door but didn’t have other tables around it.

  The first bite of ice cream hit just right and I sighed. “This was exactly what I needed.”

  “See? I have a solution for everything.”

  “I bet.” I smiled at him then dug back into the ice cream. He took a few bites, then I noticed him watching me.

  “What?”

  “Did I ever tell you about my conversation with the guys that day you went with Daisy?”

  “No.” I shook my head for effect. “Which guys?”

  “Courting Chaos.”

  “You and your brothers have gotten close to them?” I asked. It seemed like it from where I was sitting.

  “Yeah, but guys are easy. You can hang out like best friends and then never speak to each other again. But I don’t think that will happen since Daisy is with Lawson and he’s their manager.”

  “Wow.” I stopped eating and looked at him with wide eyes. “You said my brother’s name without if being followed by the sound of you gagging.”

  He chuckled loudly. “He’s growing on me.”

  “I notice that you don’t give him nearly as hard of a time anymore.”

  “I can’t,” he added honestly. “Do I love Daisy with an older guy? Hell no. I still think he’s too old for her, but will he protect my sister like I would if I’m not there?” He sighed then, as if it was the hardest thing in the world for him, admitted, “Yeah. He will.” He ran a finger over his lip before adding, “Plus, if I keep poking at him, he’s going to be on you about being with me and I don’t want you to deal with that.”

  A small grin curved my lips. I didn’t want it to get too big because that would’ve been gloating. “Thank you,” I told him softly. “But what about the conversation with the guys?”

  “Oh, right. Well.” He scratched the back of his head and took a heaping spoonful of the ice cream before continuing. “They’re all in relationships and all on the road. Not all
of their girlfriends can be with them all of the time.”

  “True.”

  “I asked them how they do it.”

  “And what did they say?” I pushed my empty cup to the center of the table.

  “They gave me a lot of good information.” Van slid his hand across the small table, intertwining our fingers. “You know I’ve never done this before and it’s easy when you’re here, but what about when you’re not?”

  I adjusted myself in my seat. The idea of not being with him made me uncomfortable. Not because I was worried about him doing something stupid. I didn’t worry about that stuff because I couldn’t do anything about it. I had to trust he wouldn’t cheat on me and couldn’t worry about it.

  “What exactly are you worried about?”

  “That it’s easy to spend time together when we’re both here, but I told them I didn’t want to fuck it up when you weren’t. As in not communicate properly. It was a real tender moment.”

  Now it was my turn to burst out into a loud laugh.

  “I wouldn’t cheat on you if that’s what you thought,” he told me quietly.

  “I know. I wasn’t worried about that.”

  “That would be a deal-breaker and I don’t want to lose you.”

  I settled my eyes on his just to drive the point home. “It would be a deal-breaker.”

  “Come on.” He waved me to my feet then dropped both of our bowls into the trash then we stepped out into the heat and Van slipped his arm around my shoulders to bring me into him. As we made our way back to the venue, he added, “It’s not just that it’s a deal-breaker, you know.”

  “No?”

  He shook his head. “I seriously haven’t wanted anyone else since you came on tour. I only want you.”

  Van stopped then slid his hand up my arm to cup my cheek. He leaned in and pressed his soft lips against mine. We were out in public and he didn’t have a care in the world over who might see us or god, snap a pic. It was like he wanted the world to know I was his and he was mine.

  When he pulled back, he asked, slightly breathlessly, “What time does your brother normally get back to the bus?”