Fictitious Love

by Charmanie Saquea

  He was the only part I didn’t regret when it came to my relationship with Tahani. I never would have thought in a million years that she would turn out to be the bitch that she was today. She was so loving and so sweet once upon a time and now I didn’t even recognize who she was anymore.

  “We still have one more problem,” my pops said.

  “What now?” I sighed.

  “That Tristan nigga. His brother is the one you supposedly killed,” he said.

  Ain’t that a bitch? That explained a lot. I knew when I first laid eyes on him that he looked familiar, but I couldn’t place where I knew him from. His brother was the nigga Tahani’s pops used to set me up. This shit was getting crazier by the second. The mother of my child was fucking the nigga’s brother who I was blamed for killing.

  “That means that those bullets weren’t even met for Juanie, they were all met for me but his aim game is weak as hell,” I thought out loud.

  “Pretty much,” my pops said.

  “That’s still no excuse,” Keylin spoke up.

  “I agree, baby brother. It’s still no excuse because he knew I had my son with me. He should have picked another time to get at me,” I agreed.

  “What you gon do about the situation?” Moni asked.

  “Oh, that nigga is dead. No doubts about it,” I assured him.

  “What about Tahani? You know she’s not going to let that happen,” Key said.

  “She’ll just have to go with him,” I said.

  I didn’t even know if I believed the words that had just left my mouth. Not liking or caring for Tahani was one thing, but killing her was something I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to do. Hopefully, when it all boil down to it, I wouldn’t even have to consider that thought because she would have come to her senses by then.

  “Nah, bruh. You can’t kill her.” Moni shook his head.

  “He’s right, Omega. No matter what the situation between you two may be like, at the end of the day, she’s still your son’s mother,” my pops voiced.

  “Just disregard that bullshit I just said. Hopefully Tahani snap back to reality and help us take that nigga out. Even if she doesn’t, he gotta go, regardless. I don’t have time to worry about how she will feel because that nigga didn’t stop to think how my son would feel if one of those bullets just so happened to hit him,” I said with venom dripping from my voice.

  When I got out of prison, I vowed that I would never revert to my old ways, but sometimes you have to relapse and get it all out your system. That nigga crossed the line and even if it was accidental, he had to get dealt with.

  “Another thing. Tahani’s dad gotta go, too, while I’m at it.”

  “You sure about that?” Keylin asked.

  I’m happy Moni did the right thing and sent him off to college so he wouldn’t be sucked into the streets like we were. He was the only one of our parent’s kids that had never been in any kind of trouble and to say that I was proud of him would be an understatement.

  I knew all this talk about killing was making him uncomfortable, but that’s life. Everybody has to die and I was going to have the pleasure of expediting the process for them.

  “I’m definite, baby bruh,” I told him.

  “Omega, just don’t do anything without at least letting me know. I can guarantee you that Kelvin is still out for blood. Even more so now that you’re out, so ain’t no telling what he’ll try to do to you,” my pops said.

  “I got you, pops. How long will you be here?” I asked.

  “I’m here until I feel like leaving. Your mama don’t scare me like she do y’all. I know how to handle her.” He smiled devilishly.

  “Okay, now that’s nasty and my cue to leave.” Keylin shook his head as he got up.

  “I’m right behind you, Key. I’m about to go check on my son so I’ll get up with y’all fellas later,” I announced before I walked out the door.

  ___

  I pulled up to Mount Sanai out in Miami Beach anxious to see my son. Ever since that weekend he stayed over my mama’s house when I first got out, I knew he was a joy to be around. Everything about him reminded me of myself when I was little. He was literally like a me all over again, except he wasn’t nearly as bad as I was at that age.

  I had mixed emotions in my mama’s kitchen the day I put two and two together and figured out he was indeed my son. I was overjoyed that I actually had as son, a junior at that, but at the same time, I was nervous and apprehensive. I didn’t know how to be a dad and on top of that, he was already almost seven years old so I didn’t know how he would receive me.

  Come to find out, he already knew who I was. He said his grandma and mama used to tell him about me and show him pictures all the time. Just knowing that I almost lost him over some bullshit that Kelvin started for nothing hurt my heart.

  Juanie is innocent in this whole situation so there’s no way in hell he should be lying up in a hospital bed; that should be me. When I walked in the room, he was playing on the iPad I got him for his birthday.

  “You and that damn iPad.” I shook my head.

  “Hey dad, I was just about to call you.” Juanie smiled as we gave each other dap.

  “What’s the word, ma?” I asked her.

  “Well, when I got here, Juanie was real sick, throwing up and stuff so you know me, I’m going off, thinking they did something to my baby. Come to find out, he had an allergic reaction to the new pain meds they gave him,” she told me.

  “Damn,” I said to myself. “How you feeling, little man?” I asked him.

  “I’m good, dad. I’m just ready to go home,” he said.

  “I know that’s right because I’m ready for you to come home. Let’s just see what the doctor says and then we’ll go from there,” I told him as I kissed the top of his head.

  When I sat down, I thought about Tahani. She called me earlier yelling a nigga’s head off, so all I could do was hang up on her. I know she’s probably worried so I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent her a quick text.

  Juanie is good, he said he loves you. When you get it together I’ll allow you to see him.

  Tahani must have forgotten that I’m smarter than the average nigga. I know her like I know the back of my hands. Well, I thought I did, but I’m pretty sure I know the moves she’s going to make way before she even makes them. I knew she would more than likely try to bring that nigga up to the hospital to see my son and I wasn’t about to let that go down.

  To keep me from having to kill both of them in broad daylight with hundreds of witnesses, I moved Juanie without telling her. It’s amazing what some money and a little threatening on my pops’ behalf can do.

  As I opened my mouth to say something to Juanie, I had a voicemail pop up on my phone. I didn’t know who it could be from because my phone didn’t ring. I pushed play and listened to it. As I was sitting there listening to it, I could literally feel my blood boil.

  22: Tristan

  I’ve been feeling like shit ever since I found out the bullets that were meant for Omega hit Juanie. I don’t even know how I allowed that to happen when I specifically aimed at him. Had he never bent down, he would be dead by now. Honestly, had I known that Juanie was even out there, I would have never went through with it. I fucked up in a major way.

  I know DeMoni knew because he gave me that look as if he knew what I did. I’m guessing he didn’t tell anyone yet because I was still alive and Tahani hadn’t confronted me about it yet. I think I did a good job with getting into her head. I wasn’t trying to brainwash her or anything. Or was I? I just needed to know that she really loved me like she claimed she did.

  I knew from day one that no one in her family cared too much for me but I really didn’t give a damn. I wasn’t going to bed with them every night, and the feelings were mutual. The fact that she chose me over them just let me know that I could trust her. I didn’t need her family in her ear with that bullshit about me not being shit.

  They act as if that nigga Omega was
a damn god or something. She didn’t need them anyways. My plan was working out better than I even expected it to. I just needed for Tahani to realize that nobody had her back like I did. She needs to know that her family didn’t have her best interests at heart and as long as she had me that was all she needed.

  Omega thought he was going to come back and take her from me. That’s okay because I had something for his ass. Ain’t no way in hell I was going to allow him to get away with killing my brother. He got away from me for the first time, but he won’t the second time.

  Since Tahani was out doing whatever the hell she was doing, I needed to call Kelvin and put him up on game. I didn’t like his crooked ass either, but he was the mastermind behind ‘Operation Take Omega Down’ so I had to deal with him for the time being.

  “Why are you calling me? I haven’t heard anything about a funeral,” Kelvin answered his phone.

  I huffed and rolled my eyes as I walked into the closet to look for something to wear. “Omega isn’t dead yet Kelvin because your idea to shoot up that nigga’s house was flawed as fuck. Your damn grandson was there and he got hit,” I told him.

  “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?” he bellowed.

  “I mean exactly what I said!” I yelled into the phone. “I went to go kill Omega like we talked about but I didn’t realize that Juanie was there. He and his brother were in the front yard but I didn’t even see Juanie. I don’t know how I shot him but I did.”

  I was getting tired of this nigga. He love trying to give orders or make plans but his fucking ideas never worked. He thought locking up Omega would get rid of him but that nigga got out. Then he thought shooting him would definitely take care of him, but I shot the wrong damn person.

  After today I was no longer working with Kelvin. His ass didn’t know shit about this street life. He didn’t know anything for that matter. I’m up here working with a man that’s scared of his own daughter. Now what type of sense does that make?

  “Listen to me, Tristan, and you listen to me real good, you—”

  “No,” I cut him off. “You listen to me Kelvin, and you listen real good. I’m not working with you anymore. You got me into some shit that I have to live with for the rest of my life. What if your daughter finds out that I’m the one who shot her damn son? Then what? I’m doing shit on my own terms now,” I said before hanging up.

  I grabbed a shirt and pants off the hanger and turned around. My heart damn near fell out of my chest when I saw Tahani standing there with tears in her eyes and her phone pressed to her ear. I don’t know how much she heard, but I can tell she heard enough.

  “Tahani, I—”

  “Omega, you and Moni were right. Tristan shot Juanie!” she yelled into the phone before she took off running.

  I don’t know how she thought that she was going to get away from me. I chased after her ass and grabbed her by her hair just as she tried to run out of the room. Her phone hit the ground at the same time her body did. I don’t know how she did it, but she drew back and punched the shit out of me.

  “You tried to kill him! You almost killed my baby!” she yelled as she swung.

  She hit me in my eye again and that’s when I lost it. I punched her in her face as hard as I could.

  “Ahhh!’ she yelled but didn’t stop swinging. “Omega, help! Help me!” she yelled.

  Just hearing her cry out for that nigga enraged me even more, so I took her head and slammed it on the ground. I blacked out on her ass and just started raining punches all over her body. I stopped and came to when I realized that she wasn’t swinging anymore. I looked down at her face that was covered in blood. It was then that I comprehended what I had just done.

  “Tahani, baby. Get up,” I said as I nudged her a little.

  When I noticed that she wasn’t moving, period, and it looked as if she stopped breathing, I panicked.

  “Oh shit! What the fuck did I do?” I yelled.

  I took one look at her body before running out of the house without looking back. I didn’t mean to, but she wouldn’t stop fighting me. We could have sat down and talked about it but the fact that she called that nigga just did something to me.

  I had to get out of town for a while because I knew for a fact that his ass was coming for me.

  23: Tahtiana

  I looked at my vibrating phone that had been ringing like crazy for the past hour. I tried to be a good friend and confidant to DeMoni just off the strength that we were both going through something due to our nephew being shot, but like always, it didn’t last long.

  I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t even be mad or hurt, seeing how me and DeMoni weren’t in a relationship. In all actuality, he got his ‘girlfriend’ pregnant but I can’t and won’t lie. It hurt bad as hell. I was happy and proud because I was finally giving him the one thing he wanted that no other female had ever given him.

  Well, that was the case for about a month until this bitch popped up pregnant. There was just something about this whole situation that doesn’t even seem right to me, though. If I knew DeMoni, which I did, I know that he never would go up in a female raw like that.

  We were together for three years before he stopped using condoms with me, and even then he didn’t completely just stop. Sometimes he would wear them and sometimes he wouldn’t. So unless that bitch was poking holes in the condom, I highly doubt that she was having DeMoni Marcelo Hooks’ baby.

  “What, Moni?” I yelled into the phone.

  “Look, Tahti. I just need to talk to you, please?” he begged.

  “DeMoni, I thought I told you I didn’t want to talk to you until my baby was born. I bout don’t even want to hear from you then. Just give me some peace in my life for once and allow me to dwell on this bullshit,” I told him.

  “That’s the thing, Tahtiana. You shouldn’t dwell on it because I’m damn sure not. Fuck her. The only person I’m worried about and know for a fact is having my baby is you,” he said.

  I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it crazy as if he could really see me. Did this nigga fall and bump his head or something? Not too long ago, he was questioning the paternity of my baby.

  “Oh, so now all of a sudden my baby is yours, DeMoni? You’re a fucking character, dude. Moni, lose my number, like seriously. Don’t call me. I’ll call you when I go into labor so you can come down to the hospital and get a DNA test on my baby. I don’t want to hear from you a second sooner!” I snapped as I hung up on his ass.

  These niggas weren’t going to drive me crazy. As if dealing with DeMoni and his foolishness wasn’t enough, I had to deal with Jazz and his mysteriousness. I had been ducking and dodging him due to his weird behavior lately. He had me looking at him like something was wrong with him.

  It had been a while now since me and Jazz had been kicking it and it wasn’t the same as it was in the beginning. Everything was fine and cool when we would just go out to eat, go kick it, and go have fun or something in public.

  It was when we got behind closed doors and he started chilling at my house that he started acting funny and changing. He was scared to get too close to me, he wouldn’t cuddle with me, hug me or hold me. I was beginning to think he was scared of women.

  He would just suck the soul out of me, get me all hot and bothered, then all of sudden he would hop up and say he had to leave. I was starting to think it was me for a minute, but I knew that couldn’t be true because I have that good-good. Just ask DeMoni.

  Before we even think about taking this relationship to the next level, there are something we were going to have to sit down and discuss. He had my head spinning with all kinds if what ifs. Like, what if he had a wife and kids stashed somewhere? What if he never had a serious girlfriend before and is just nervous? What if he’s scared of DeMoni? What if DeMoni threatened him? What if he used to be gay?

  I’m thinking too far into this. He could possibly just be trying take it slow because he knows I just got out of a long term relationship.

  As if my thin
king about him brought him up, he called me.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Are you still avoiding me for nothing?” he asked me.

  “Jazz, I’m not avoiding you for nothing. I told you I had a lot going on with my nephew and DeMoni’s bullshit,” I explained to him.

  “So every time that nigga do something to make you make you mad, you’re going to take it out on me and cut me off?” he questioned.

  While he was steady talking, I headed up to my room to tidy it up a little. Since being pregnant, I had begun to get a little lazy and that wasn’t like me.

  “Jazz, if you had to pay for DeMoni’s fuck ups, I never would have given you my number that day when you were posted up all on my car,” I told him.

  “So what’s up then?” he interrogated.

  “I think we need to talk,” I said to him.

  I noticed something lying on the floor underneath the headboard of my bed. I got down on my knees and put the phone on speaker, grateful that I didn’t have a big baby bump at this time. I bent down to pick it up and my head started spinning. I felt as if I was going to be sick all of a sudden. It was Jazz’ I.D. I heard him talking on the phone, but I had tuned him out.

  Jazmere Clay?

  That was his face. That was his birthday. His name wasn’t what threw me off, but the sex on the I.D. had me ready to shoot a bitch.

  Female? This nigga was born a bitch?

  To Be Continued

  More books by Charmanie Saquea

  Official Girl

  Official Girl 2

  Official Girl 3

  Official Girl 4

  Pursuing The Madam

  Pursuing The Madam 2

  Pursuing The Madam 3