Relics and Runes Anthology
Page 79
‘I hardly expect an enemy would ki—’ I shut my teeth with a snap, biting off the word and the memories that went with it. Old, helpless anger rose hot in my belly. Darkness rattled its cage. I contained it ruthlessly, circling him, hunting for an opening. Twice already he’d made me feel like an idiot. I was better than this.
‘That’s the point: it’s the unexpected that will negate all your natural advantages and your skillset. You’ll freeze into a reaction-loop as your brain tries to process new information and work out how to respond.’ He tapped his temple. ‘That takes too long. You’ll get hit before you work out what’s happening. You’re dealing with people who know our kind. They’ve tested you three times now. They will know what to expect and they’ll be prepared. If they have to break your arms to control you, they will.’
He lunged at me again. I waited until the last second and side-stepped. One arm slid under his elbow and over his collarbone. I turned and flipped him over my hip. He twisted to land safely. I followed him to the ground and sat astride his hips, hands on the mat on either side of his head.
‘My sensei said things almost always end up on the ground. How’s your ground fighting?’ I grinned fiercely down at him.
He raised an eyebrow, apparently not at all fazed. He bridged beneath me, shifted his weight and reversed our positions. Now I lay on my back in the guard position, legs locked around his waist. Bending forward, he pinned my arms to the mat.
‘Not bad. Yours?’ He leaned closer, his mouth just inches from mine. ‘How would you get out of this?’
The energy between us changed in an instant. I knew exactly what to do to get out of it. Did I want to, though? I smiled slowly at him. His eyes flicked to my mouth and his own lips pressed together. He raised both brows.
‘Well?’
On my mettle and annoyed he was so easily able to control his reactions, I raised my hips. Tightening my grip on his body, I twisted left and unbalanced him. I pulled his right arm across my chest and wrenched my other arm free as he fell. Using all my flexibility and speed, I slipped out from beneath him. One leg went over his neck and the other across his chest as he fell onto his back.
Arching my back, I straightened his arm into a bar. He clenched his fist, trying to break the lock by sheer strength. It almost worked. He was extraordinarily strong. I gritted my teeth, tucked my hips closer to his body and held on. At last he tapped out and I released his arm.
Logan sat up, flexing his elbow, showing a hint of admiration. ‘Nice.’
‘Gracie jujitsu. Five years.’ I sat up, stretching out my legs and straightening my shirt. ‘Do I pass?’ I leaned back on my hands.
He shrugged. ‘You should have gone for the blood-choke rather than the armbar. A broken arm will cripple but not incapacitate. You can’t afford to leave one angry and conscious. Guns can be fired left-handed, too.’
‘I’m not going to kill anyone. Ever again.’
Logan’s face blanked. He shifted onto his knees, crawling across the mats towards me, grey eyes intense. Did he intend to attack me or kiss me?
He knelt beside me, his eyes drifting from my bare feet, up the length of my shorts-clad legs, over my body and to my face. I resisted the urge to move; to arch my back and send him a sultry look beneath my lashes. It took a great deal of effort, though. There was no denying I wanted him and, unless I was mistaken, the attraction was mutual.
But he’d already made it perfectly clear than he wanted none of me, so what was with the sudden change? Besides, all the reasons for not getting involved with him still stood. If I slept with him, he would seduce more than just my body and I wasn’t ready for that. Sex clouded issues already murky and uncertain.
‘Maeve actually suggested…’ He trailed his fingertips down the line of my jaw. ‘…that I should seduce you to help you relax. Would it?’
I froze. Definitely unexpected. Or… had I been broadcasting my thoughts again? I checked my mental image. No, the castle was intact. He shouldn’t be able to read me.
He lay down beside me, cheek resting on one fist, elbow on the mat. He chuckled, low in his throat, when I moved and put space between us.
‘I keep forgetting you’re not used to our ways. In a telepathic family it’s difficult to keep these things private. One tends to become quite open about all aspects of life, including sex. Sorry if it bothers you.’
I cleared my throat, trying to reorientate my thinking. It made sense there would be less privacy in a houseful of telepaths, but it was still embarrassing to think that way.
‘Not exactly upset,’ I managed, ‘just a little stunned. It will take a little getting used to; this whole “telepathic family” thing.’
‘Understandable. Intimacy to telepaths is more about deep-sharing of your inner self, rather than sex. You have a strong shield up around your inner self, so Maeve figured you weren’t yet ready for that level of trust. But, you didn’t answer my question.’ He moved closer and tilted my chin up so I was forced to meet his eyes. ‘Would making love help you relax?’ His grey eyes darkened and his grin turned wicked. His hand dropped to my shoulder, slipped down the curve of my breast and trailed along the line of my bra under the thin t-shirt material.
Blood rushed to my cheeks and my breath quickened as my body reacted to his touch. It was difficult to keep in mind the several, good reasons for abstaining when his hand slid under my shirt and caressed my stomach.
But I needed to. Besides, there was something too studied, too trite about his actions. He was going through the motions but holding tightly onto himself, keeping his feelings for me, whatever they were, controlled.
I rolled away, onto my knees, smiling a little to soften the blow. ‘To be honest, Logan, right now what I need is a decent sparring session. Anything else would…complicate things.’
‘So that’s a No, then?’ He sat up, eyeing me with wary amusement.
I cocked my head. ‘You’re taking it rather well.’
He folded his legs, kneeling on the dojo mat. ‘To be honest back at you, I was mostly interested in seeing how you’d react to the proposition.’
‘So it was what, some sort of test? For what?’ I turned away, gritting my teeth against a flash of memory.
A quick frown, tinged with sympathetic horror, flickered across his brow. He smoothed it back to faint speculation before I had a chance to speak. What right had he to judge me? Or manipulate me like that? Did everyone just want to use me?
In the dungeon, deep in my mind, the door rattled. The prisoner seeped past blocks and filtered into my thoughts, tinging them black with self-hatred and recollection. I glared at Logan, anger and disgust welling up. Yes, even he saw me as a tool, something to be used in his war. I opened myself to the sianfath. Logan’s presence was a tempting beacon of silver-green non-light. It would take no effort at all to take what he was and use it; to take from everyone who hurt me and turn it against them. So little effort and all the pain would be eliminated forever.
20
We have an opportunity. I’ve just seen them. They’re in this area, but not looking for us or her. Security is minimal. It’s a chance to get close without too much risk. But we’ll need Rowan to do it.>
You’re using her as bait? She’s not ready for this.
Are we doing the right thing, Maeve?
Dammit Maeve, I know, but there has to be another way. She doesn’t deserve this.
Why the hell do we have to sacrifice anyone?
You’re leaving the last block in place?
‘Oh, God,’ I choked, covering my face.
‘Red?’ He leaned toward me.
I scrambled backward across the mat. ‘Don’t touch me!’ Backed against the dojo wall I fought the seductive pull of the thing inside me. How was I supposed to resist it? Maeve’s work had made its release easier, in spite of the dungeon door. I was under barely any stress at all, but holding it in check took all of my concentration.
‘What is it?’ Logan moved closer. ‘I’m not going to hurt you.’
I closed my eyes and focussed all my efforts on caging the beast. Slowly, it retreated behind its door, leaving my heart racing and palms sweating with fear. Fear for Logan; fear for me.
When I opened my eyes Logan was watching me narrowly, intent.
‘I didn’t mean to scare you,’ he said gently. ‘My very lame seduction attempt was a test, yes. To see how good you are at controlling your emotions.’ He rose lithely to his feet. ‘In combat the person who controls and overcomes their reactions best often wins. I’d say you just did pretty well.’
He didn’t get it; didn’t understand how close to death he’d been. Controlling my sex drive was easy.
He must have misinterpreted the fear flickering through me, for his expression slid into wry regret. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blind to what’s between us, but there are…issues we need to deal with first. I heard your thoughts about me last night, after you called Anna. I agree with you. The timing is wrong and...’ He shook his head. ‘Well, I wasn’t expecting you to say “yes”.’
I focussed on my irritation with him as a distraction from a worse possibility I’d just barely controlled. I couldn’t tell him how close I’d just been to killing him.
‘You haven’t exactly been open about being interested before this. I had the impression you don’t particularly like me. Why should I believe you?’
Logan held out his hand. After a moment’s hesitation, I took it and let him haul me to my feet. Wrapping an arm around my waist he tucked me close under his arm.
Hs eyes fell to my mouth then returned to mine. ‘When this is all over, and you’re a little less off-balance, and things here are sorted, we’ll talk. I just…’ He stopped, grimacing. ‘Look, I can’t…’ He left the sentence unfinished and just gazed down at me with an expression of hesitant regret in his eyes.
Acutely conscious of the lean, muscular strength of him, the warmth of his thigh against mine, the spice of his skin and the bitter twist to his lips, I dealt with the rapid emotional shifts in myself as best I could. I wanted him, there was no denying it. I resented him taking sex off the table, even while I was grateful for it at the same time. It irritated me that he’d somehow taken control of the situation, yet I also appreciated his admission that he found me attractive.
There was still something, though. Something in him that spoke of a deeply-shielded thought or emotion. He liked me, but he was torn for some reason. His words and body carried just the slightest hint of tension as he awaited my response.
With regret, I nodded and stepped back. ‘Just don’t be surprised if, when that time finally gets here, I say No again. You’re still hiding things from me.’ And I was more dangerous than he knew.
The little flicker of wry, self-deprecating surprise was gratifying, but he simply inclined his head in acceptance. ‘So are you.’
Before I could reply he nodded at the mat. ‘Shall we spar?’
I shifted into a fighting stance, eager for the mindless focus training provided. Anything to take my thoughts off the fact that Logan had, moments before, been seconds from death, even if he didn’t know it.
Logan’s head snapped up, turning towards the front entrance of the house. ‘We’ll have to do this after dinner. Maeve’s back.’
He paused, obviously communicating with his aunt. Whatever she said seemed to bother him. His eyes narrowed and his brows knitted in a black frown. He looked sidelong at me, then swiftly away again. With a faint sigh, he grimaced.
Then he closed the gap between us. Hesitantly, he slid a hand behind my neck. His lips brushed mine, briefly and sweetly. He pressed our foreheads together and closed his eyes.
‘I’m sorry.’ Turning away, he cleared his throat. When he faced me again, his usual calm imperturbability back.
‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated, but any grief he felt didn’t reach his eyes this time. There was nothing but coolness and distance in him. ‘I’m afraid we’ll have to put our sparring off ‘til tomorrow. Maeve has an errand for me and she wants to work on those last blocks of yours now. I’ll be back later.’
Without any further explanation, he gave me a quick, troubled glance and vanished into the house.
I stared into the darkness, trembling uncontrollably.
A few seconds later, his bike roared away into the purple evening’s silence.
‘Shall we continue?’ Maeve took a sip from the glass of lemonade on the floor by her leg and put it aside, wiping her fingers fastidiously on her loose, grey cotton blouse. ‘With that second-last block gone, your precog should be under your control, now. When you touch people, you’ll only receive visions if you want to – or if you forget to block them. So we only have that one left – the dungeon door. Then you’ll be free of the headaches. And free to use your gifts and to understand your father better.’
I massaged my neck, feeling muscles made stiff with tension. I was resisting Maeve’s work and it made things harder for both of us. Partly anticipating pain and partly difficulty in letting go my mistrust. And this work required a great deal of trust. I would have to open the shield protecting my innermost core and that scared me. Releasing the fear of what Maeve might put into my mind, not what she would take out, was the hardest.
I also feared what lay behind that last block. Not only Calain’s memories, but this last ability Maeve mentioned. The darkness that lurked in my mind, that broke free when I was in danger. Was that the ability? It must be. If so, I didn’t want it to be free. The latent power it carried terrified me. The things I’d done; that I could do; that I’d almost done…Who would I be when it was released?
‘Actually, I could use a break.’ I eyed the dojo door, breathing in the sweet, flower-scented, humid evening air. ‘Would it be safe enough to walk down to the shop? I just need...’
Maeve squeezed my arm. ‘I understand. We tend to be an introverted people and you’ve been in close proximity with us for two days now. You must be desperate for a few solitary moments. It is a lengthy walk though. Logan’s still out retrieving some belongings of mine that we were obliged to leave behind at the old place. So if you’re content to walk, go ahead. Take your telephone and please don’t be long.’
I looked over at the older woman with a mix of irritation and amusement. ‘You sound like my mother.’
Maeve raised one perfect eyebrow, but didn’t comment.
The truth was, it wasn’t solitude I needed so much as a chance to talk with Anna. I missed her calm good sense and advice. I’d never been out of communication with her for so long and fear for her safety lurked in the back of my mind, distracting and worrying. I needed to speak with her in a way that wouldn’t be overheard by the Freysons, or lead these Mors Ferrum people, if that’s who they were, straight to them.
I rummaged in my backpack, where it lay on the windowsill of the dojo. As I plucked my wallet and phone out, my fingers brushed a piece of paper. An idea blossomed, full-blown, in my head. The paper held Paul Eisen’s phone number. He was distant enough from Anna that he was probably not under direct observation. I could contact him. It wouldn’t do to say anything important over the phone, but perhaps I could pass on a message.
With a nod to Maeve, I strode out of the doj
o. At the end of the street I checked behind. No one. Phone in hand, my finger hovered over the number pad. No. I should probably wait until I was a little further away, just in case. Leading my pursuers straight to the Freysons would be unforgivable.
It was a long walk, but it felt good to stride out. I eased into a slow jog, enjoying the physical movement after a day of mental exercise harder than any dojo session. Sweet night air, cool after a late afternoon sprinkle of rain, slipped over my skin. Overhead bats fluttered in the darkness. Rain trees and palms towered over modern, architect-designed statements of money.
Maeve’s directions led me to a larger street and the shop. The grocery was small, just one of a set of four little shops in a row. Standard brick and corrugated iron commercial design; single-storey with unbarred, plain glass doors and windows. Must be a good neighbourhood. No graffiti or broken windows. The grocery was promisingly-named “Friendly”. I smiled, anticipating the cool interior and a cold drink. My skin was sticky with the humidity.
Outside, I stopped and retrieved my phone and the paper. I dialled Paul’s number and waited while it rang.
‘Yo,’ he answered, laconic and cheerful.
‘Paul?’
‘Ya. Who’s this?’ He sounded relaxed.
‘It’s Meghan. Have you got a minute?’
‘Hey! Sure. Hang on.’ Something scraped against the phone mike, muffling the sound of his voice. ‘I’m back. Sorry. Just telling the driver where to go. Where’ve you been? Anna said you’ve been sick? Y’ok?’
‘Yeah,’ I replied. ‘Hey, I wanted to catch up.’ I studied the quiet suburban street, orientating myself. If I was right, the Freyson’s safehouse wasn’t very far from Paul’s place.
‘Sure. Where?’
‘D’you know the store on the corner of Marti Street?’
‘Course. It’s our local.’
‘I’m there now. Can you meet me?’
‘Uh…’ He covered the mouthpiece again then came back. ‘Done. Be there in five. You ok? You sound a bit stressed.’