Glory Falls

by Janine Rosche

  Kat: What is Blue thinking?!

  Right below was a screenshot of a news article, “Cecelia Walker Rebounds with Heartthrob Erik Braun,” and a picture of Blue and some guy laughing.

  All the color around Thomas seemed to meld into the same gray as the grout.

  Robbie groaned. “You might have missed your chance.”

  * * *

  * * *

  On the night of December 23, the town of Landstuhl was bustling with holiday-minded folks, most full of drink, singing carols that bent from German to English and back—a sound she’d prefer over Erik’s ten-minute-long story. Something about trying to buy a specialized sports car at a dealership and the look on the man’s face when he took him on a speedy test drive. She willed her mind to keep focusing and added her fiftieth nod. Was this how Thomas felt when she talked a lot?

  For a third date—if that’s what this was—Erik still didn’t seem to know much about her, other than maybe her talent and her money. He hadn’t given her time to add anything else to the conversation. The man could fill hours with stories about himself, which all highlighted his rich and famous life. Nothing truly personal. It was all rather dull.

  But his smiles and little touches had a way of making her lips say yes whenever he asked her to join him for a concert, dinner, or an evening walk. Of all the women in the world, Erik Braun found her desirable. Not the beautiful starlets on set. Not the glorious models with their perfect bodies and faces. Her.

  Plus, there was no friend zone with Erik to break out of. He wanted her, though Blue hadn’t let him kiss her yet. The image of Thomas’s face always seemed to get in the way.

  Yet as they approached her parents’ flat, Blue prepared to stiff-arm all thoughts of Thomas out of the way. She hadn’t been kissed—really kissed—in a long time. Erik was probably good at it, too. Blue would be hard-pressed to find a woman who didn’t swoon when his character kissed Melanie’s character.

  “Well, here we are.” Erik joined her on the front stoop, angling his body to block any escape. She couldn’t duck away this time. His eyes roved her face, lingering on her mouth. “Let me ask you a question.”

  Finally, he wanted to know something about her.

  “Is there any romance in your screenplay?” he asked.

  Blue’s mind shifted far too quickly back to Montana and to Thomas. So much for that stiff-arm. “A bit. Between the hero and his childhood friend.”

  “If you’re single, how do you research the kiss scenes that you write?”

  “I guess I have a good imagination.”

  Erik tucked his hand into her coat collar, his fingers caressing her neck. “Would the hero kiss her here?” He kissed Blue on the side of her throat. Not a little kiss, either. A close the door, turn down the lights kind of kiss.

  Blue had expected a certain amount of heat, maybe even lust if Erik kissed her. Now that it was happening, she felt neither. Just a panic rising. On instinct, she shirked away, lifting her shoulder to meet her ear until he had to pull back.

  “Thomas wouldn’t kiss a girl like that,” she said. “Definitely not so soon.”

  “Fair enough. How would he kiss a girl?”

  “Respectfully. Innocently.”

  Erik scoffed. The sound of the noise bit into her. What was so wrong with respect and innocence?

  “Picture Thomas as Felix all grown up.”

  “Felix?” Erik’s eyes didn’t leave her mouth.

  “From my movie.”

  Erik’s expression didn’t change.

  “Glory’s best friend?”

  “I must have missed that part.” His other hand slid around Blue’s waist, again beneath her coat.

  Did this work on women? Goodness, it had almost worked on her. What was she doing? Repeating history? What was it about a handsome man’s smile and compliments that made her forget every goal she had for herself? She needed to be stronger than this if she ever wanted to reclaim her career.

  “That part? He was in two-thirds of the scenes.” Blue narrowed her eyes. “You never saw it, did you? You lied.”

  At last, Erik’s eyes met hers. Was that mockery she saw there? “Not sure what you want me to say here. You’re exquisite. That can’t be the first time a man has fed you a line to get close to you.”

  “You know I have no say in casting. This is pointless.”

  “Is it?” he asked. “Allow me to try my hand at respectful and innocent.”

  Blue dodged his incoming kiss, which elicited a groan from him. Over his shoulder, across the street, a man turned away and took strides back to the center of town. He held something black in his hand. A camera.

  Oh, Thomas. What will you think of me now? She didn’t want to imagine his face when he learned about another silly mistake of hers. But there it was. As big as the town’s clock tower. And just as steady. And Thomas never thought of how he could benefit from knowing her.

  Her return flight wasn’t until the thirty-first. A lifetime away. A lifetime that Erik Braun’s charm and lies would not play any more part in.

  “Goodbye, Erik.”

  One minute later, she stood inside her parents’ flat with her back pressed against the front door. Erik’s stomps had already faded. Blue pulled out her phone from her pocket. After a deep breath, she opened the browser app and searched for her name. The results were filled with images of Erik and her. And the speculation was unbearable. No wonder she’d had five missed calls from Hunter in the last twenty-four hours.

  She opened her messaging app. The latest text from Hunter now made sense.

  Hunter: Blue, I need you to call me back. I miss you so much it hurts.

  Blue found Thomas’s name right below Hunter’s. The last message was his response to her picture of a German chocolate chip cookie.

  Thomas: I’d lie on a snow-covered porch roof for that. If you’d be willing to share it with me.

  It was nearly midnight. Which meant Thomas was likely getting off an overnight shift. Or playing Santa to some underserved children. Or cuddling orphaned wolf pups. Oh, Thomas. She tapped a quick message, then chewed her lip as she waited for his response.

  Blue: Thomas?

  Thomas: I’m here.

  Blue’s heart squeezed. She scrunched her face to halt the tears that threatened. Of course he’d responded right away. No games. No manipulations. Even if he’d seen the headlines of her and Erik, even if he’d been frustrated or hurt by them, he’d answered when she reached out to him.

  Thomas: Are you okay?

  Always thinking of her. Putting her needs first. The way a good friend does. Even when she was a dolt.

  Blue: Yeah. I just wanted to be sure of you.

  Three dots appeared, signaling that he was typing. Endlessly typing. The grandmother clock across the entryway ticked and tocked as she waited for those three dots to turn into something, anything. Long enough for her phone screen to dim. Blue tapped it to keep the phone from going to sleep. Perhaps Thomas had finally found the thousands of words he’d held back through their years of friendship. In good times. In bad times. In those times when a few words could have altered the course of her life forever. Even now, she focused so deep on that three-dot bubble, she thought she might climb inside. Oh, to live inside Thomas’s thoughts and know everything he was feeling about this movie. About her.

  The tinny taste of blood alarmed her. She touched a fingertip to where she’d been chewing her lower lip. Even in the dark foyer, she could see the dark spot against her skin. In the moment, her screen had once again darkened. When she reawakened her phone, the three dots were gone, replaced by one solitary word:

  Always.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The following evening, Thomas answered the firehouse’s doorbell. Andrea held Baby Thomas in her arms, although the child was so bundled he could barely be seen. The other childr
en wore the snow bibs and coats Thomas had purchased for them last month.

  The family began singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” in typical caroling style, out of tune, out of sync, and at times, out of lyrics. But they were cute as could be.

  Spencer came to the front door as the song came to an end. The guy had asked Thomas about Andrea after the Christmas Stroll. He had a bit of a crush. Although Thomas was still on probation after the fire and the icy river rescue, at least Spencer had stopped lecturing Thomas about saving Andrea and her children since meeting them.

  “Thomas, don’t be rude. They can finish their caroling inside the firehouse, so they don’t freeze. Hi, Andrea, we met the other day.” Spencer held the door open, inviting the children in first, then Andrea.

  A skidding sound craned Thomas’s neck toward the highway in front of the firehouse. A car driving way too fast careened one way, then the other, before slamming into the telephone pole.

  Thomas broke into a sprint, forgoing his gear. Behind him, he heard Spencer yelling, but Thomas ignored him. The sooner the driver received care, the more chance he’d have to survive.

  But once he covered the fifty yards to the scene, the magnitude of the accident painted Thomas’s world red. The small car was old—mid-’80s, perhaps. It would lack many of the safety features of today’s vehicles. The front of the sedan was mangled around the pole. The air, which had smelled of burning wood from the chimneys of nearby homes, now took on a more industrial scent. Smoke rolled from beneath the crumpled edges of the hood. He’d have to act fast. The front quarter panel had taken the brunt of the impact, leaving only bits of glass in the window of the driver door. But the door itself wouldn’t budge.

  The driver looked up at Thomas. He’d hit his head, but somehow, he was still awake. When he tried to speak, Thomas only saw red in his mouth. Further inspection showed the engine block where the man’s legs should be.

  “We’re going to get you out of here.” Thomas reached in through the window and manually unlocked the back door, which fortunately opened easily. Behind him, the firehouse’s garage door opened. Soon, Engine Two would be here with the Jaws of Life to cut the man out. Then an ambulance would stabilize the man and take him to the hospital. Another heroic save for Blue to add to her movie if she needed it.

  Thomas reached between the door and the seat and reclined the driver’s seat. The movement made the man scream. His legs were completely pinned. It would take time to get him free. Thomas grabbed the man’s hand, where he had a gold band. “It’s okay, buddy. Hang in there.”

  “Beck, the smoke!” Spencer jumped from the engine and raced toward the car. The fire beneath the hood must have grown. Thick plumes of black rolled into the air. It scalded Thomas’s nostrils.

  The man’s eyes locked on Thomas’s and held.

  “I’m right here. I’m going to get you home for Christmas.”

  The man’s eyes dimmed, and the muscles of his face slackened.

  No! Thomas felt for a pulse. He found nothing. Then he was being yanked out of the car.

  “The fire’s too hot. It might blow,” Spencer said.

  Thomas fought, twisting his body hard against Spencer’s. He was the only one in the house strong enough to match Thomas. And maybe the only one who cared enough to pull him away.

  “I can save him. Let me go!” Thomas yelled through gritted teeth.

  This didn’t happen. Not to him. Not since Ella. He wouldn’t stand by and watch another life be taken from this earth.

  “It’s too late, Beck. That wreck was unsurvivable. There was nothing you could do.”

  * * *

  * * *

  That night, Thomas stared at the ceiling of the firehouse’s dorm. Scenes from the accident replayed in his mind as nausea gripped him. Phantom nausea, since he’d already lost everything in his stomach earlier.

  If he’d known firefighting would only add to his anguish, he might have rethought the career decision. Thomas saw the wrecked car above him and felt the blood of the driver on his palm. He raised his trembling hands to his brow to block the memory but refrained from scratching at his eyes. Instead, he saw Ella’s blond curls in the water.

  Thomas squeezed his fists so tight the knuckles might burst through his skin.

  If he were home, he’d jump on the treadmill, kick it up to twelve miles per hour, and run as far as he could before his lungs could no longer grab air. He’d feel the same panic Blue’s child felt as the water from his hand rolled over her. But he wasn’t home.

  God, take it away. Please.

  Thomas waited. Still, the pain remained.

  He picked up his phone off the shelf. Three a.m. Christmas morning. Across the firehouse, soft snores along with a low whistle confirmed Thomas’s sense of aloneness. Perhaps these guys and gals had seen so much death in their years of service that they’d grown used to it. But then again, they hadn’t been closest to the driver when he’d taken his last breath tonight.

  Thomas pulled back the blanket and sheet, then swung his legs over the side of the mattress, fitting his feet into his uniform pants and boots so he’d be ready for a call if the alarm sounded. Lord, no more tonight. With his phone in hand, he left the sleeping quarters. Thomas headed to the dayroom, which was empty at this time of night. A skinny Christmas tree stood next to the television. With the lights unplugged, dark shadows draped the ornaments, many handmade by the grateful community members’ children.

  His blood throbbed in his veins, pummeling the back of his eyes in a quick rhythm. The child of the driver would not be adorning this tree next year with his gratitude. And he would not be watching Thomas’s movie, either.

  Of all people, Thomas was the least worthy of having the limelight. If it weren’t for Blue, he’d pull out of the whole thing. He’d do anything for her, though. And she needed more for her screenplay. More depth. More honesty. More of the darkness that came alongside heroic acts. He’d rather swallow it down until its spores spread throughout his body, consuming him from the inside out. But Blue wanted him to confide in her and tell her all about the darkness inside him. The dark night of the soul. Isn’t that what she called it?

  He found Blue’s contact. Here goes . . .

  His fingers struggled to hit the right button to place the call. He prayed his voice would hold steady through the line.

  “Thomas! What a surprise! Wait, isn’t it still early for you? Merry Christmas!” Blue’s smile might have crossed the phone line if Thomas allowed it.

  His thoughts jumbled, twisting his words into a knot.

  “Thomas,” Blue said more soberly this time. “Thomas, what’s wrong?”

  “I lost someone tonight.”

  There was a pause over the line, then a small moan that bled into words. “Oh no. I’m sorry.”

  Thomas nodded. As hard as this was, there was comfort in this small tether he had to her, half a world away.

  He pinched the bridge of this nose, pressing his tear ducts. “It was a car accident. Around five p.m. He needed medical attention, but I couldn’t get him out in time. Blue, I saw the light leave his eyes.”

  “Oh, Thomas.” Her voice broke on his name. “In your job, you can’t save everyone.” Her weeping sounded over the phone. He shouldn’t have burdened her with this. She’d experienced enough loss.

  “I shouldn’t have called—”

  “I’m glad you did. I want to know when you’re struggling.” Her plea made him clutch the phone harder. “I’m also glad you were there with him. He wasn’t alone.”

  “He was wearing a wedding ring. And in the back seat, there were toys in shopping bags. I made someone lose their husband and their father on Christmas Eve, Blue.”

  “No, you did everything you could to save a husband and father on Christmas Eve. You need to tell yourself that. And if you can’t do it, then call me so I can tell you. A thou
sand times a day, you can call me.”

  “I don’t know if I can keep doing this job.”

  “Yes, you can. Think of all the people you’ve saved because you acted when others didn’t. Andrea and her children. The mother and child in the river. You think of them.”

  “Even if I could, it’s only a matter of time before Spencer cuts me loose. I’m already on probation for taking so many risks. Even tonight, Spencer had to pull me out of the car before the fire got me.”

  “Tell me why you do it.”

  Thomas swallowed, though the lump remained. “I don’t know. Maybe I keep hoping that if I save enough people, it might make up for losing Ella.”

  “It doesn’t work like that, and if you keep trying, you might get yourself killed.”

  “If I do, what if that pays the penalty . . . evens the score?”

  “It wouldn’t. Thomas, it wouldn’t.” Her voice had lost its gentleness. What remained was hard and determined. “Then I will have lost Ella and you. Don’t you dare put me through that, Thomas Beck.”

  There was his bossy girl. What he wouldn’t give to have Blue here right now to jut out her chin and demand something, anything, from him. To stand beside him and maybe put a hand on his shoulder. As far as hugs go, he wouldn’t turn down one of those, either. Embracing her tight against his chest the way Robbie holds Keira and Shane holds Ryann? To lie in bed with that comfort right beside him when scenes of accidents and tragedies plague him at night? And to offer that in return?

  When Blue had hard days, who did she turn to for an embrace? Not that German actor guy from all the paparazzi pics. He would hurt her the same way Hunter had. But if not Erik, then she’d be completely alone. The realization was a punch to the throat.

  “Who are you spending Christmas with?” Blue asked.

  Thomas thumbed the door handle of the fridge. Inside, stacks of casseroles and sides, dropped off by caring townsfolk, awaited him. He’d make a plate before he headed home, making sure to add an extra slice of ham for Molly.