The First One

by Tawdra Kandle

  His answer came back quickly. Sure. Everything okay?

  I paused. Yeah, just parenting stuff.

  Okay. See you in an hour or so.

  I stared down at the screen for a few minutes more. I could’ve just called Flynn and asked him about the party, but, I reasoned, it would be easier to do it in person. Plus we could catch up on Bridget’s still-rocky relationship with her cousin Graham, who apparently had not taken well the news of his expected sibling. He continued to harass Bridge, though he’d toned down his behavior at school.

  Meghan sailed into the kitchen, glowing from every portal in her body. She ruffled Bridget’s curls and grinned at me. “Miss B and I are heading to the peach orchard for her lesson. Are you off to the stand?”

  “Yeah, I was just about to head there.” I tucked my phone back into my pocket. “I’ll walk with y’all.”

  Bridge gathered her supplies, and Meghan stopped at her car to retrieve her portable stool, easel and paints. We trudged down the path that led through the orchard to the stand as Bridget skipped ahead.

  “Something up?” Meghan nudged my arm as we walked.

  “Hmmm? With me? Nah.”

  “You’re quiet. And you have that look on your face.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay, Mom, what look is that, specifically?”

  Meghan smirked. “I call it the Flynn Evans is back in town expression.”

  “Bite me.”

  “No, thanks. I’ve had a better offer. Is there any reason you might be wearing the Flynn look today?”

  I shrugged. “He’s stopping by the stand on the way to get Bridge. Which, by the way, thanks for doing her lesson this morning so she can still go with her father. I appreciate it.”

  “Not a problem. Don’t change the subject. Flynn’s stopping to see you at the stand? Hmmmm.”

  “No ‘hmmmmm’ about it.” I stuck out my tongue at her. “I asked him so we could talk about Maisie’s birthday party. Bridge keeps pestering me to say yes, and I didn’t want to make a decision like that without checking with Flynn.” I slanted a glance in Meghan’s direction. “I call that growth. Remembering to co-parent.”

  “That’s the party in Savannah?”

  I sighed. “Yeah. I think it’s a little over the top, having an eight-year old’s birthday in a different city. It’s like a destination party. I’m not happy about letting her go, but she’s so hyped up about the whole thing.”

  “Are you hoping Flynn’ll say no and take the bad-cop role for you?”

  “God, yes!” I laughed. “I’ve been freaking bad-cop for eight years. About time someone else took a turn.”

  Meghan grinned. “I can only imagine.” We picked our way along the dirt in silence for a few minutes. “What if Sam and I went with her?”

  “What?” I’d lost track of the conversation for a minute. Okay, full disclosure, I’d started think about Flynn again.

  “The party. If it’s in Savannah, Sam and I could drive her over there. We could stay in my apartment, but we’d be close by in case anything happened.”

  “You’d do that?”

  “Of course. I’d do anything for you and Bridge. Plus . . .” She lowered her voice. “I get to drag your very sexy brother off for a night in the city. Alone. No one else sleeping down the hall, no having to get up early to head out into the fields . . .”

  “Ugh! My ears.” I clapped my hands over the sides of my head. “Please. I still choose to believe that you two are playing charades every night after we all go to bed.”

  “Why are you allowed to have a sex life and your brother isn’t?” Meghan was teasing, but it still cut.

  “Who says I’m allowed to have one? I haven’t had the pleasure—and I do mean pleasure—in so long, I forget how to do it.”

  “It’s like riding a bike. It’ll all come back to you.”

  We’d arrived at the orchard, and Bridget was busy examining the blossoms and branches of the trees. Meghan stopped and turned to me. “You know, if Sam, Bridget and I are all in Savannah, you’d have the house all to yourself. In case you needed it.”

  I turned to walk backwards for a minute. “And why would I need it?”

  She grinned. “If you have to ask, you’re farther gone than I’d thought. I’m just saying.”

  Shaking my head, I called to my daughter. “Hey, Bridge! Come give me a hug. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

  She barreled into me for a hug and then turned up her face for a kiss. “Okay, and you’ll tell Daddy about the party?”

  “I’ll ask him,” I corrected. “Be good. And have fun with Aunt Meghan.”

  “Ali? Hey, didn’t you hear me?” Cassie Deymeyer, the high school student who helped us out at the stand on weekends, stood in front of me, waving her hand in front of my face. “I’ve been talking to you for five minutes.”

  I flushed. Busted. “Sorry, Cass. I’m a little preoccupied.” I picked up the sheaf of papers that lay on the cash register stand. “All the orders for next month have to be filled out.” It was a good excuse, anyway, for why I’d been standing there, staring off into space.

  “Uh huh. So that moony look on your face doesn’t have anything to do with the pickup that just pulled in?”

  My eyes flew to the parking lot, where Flynn was slamming the door of his truck. This time, I swore the blush went all the way down my body. Pull it together, woman.

  “Cassie, don’t be ridiculous. Flynn’s just here to discuss some stuff about Bridget.”

  “Hmmm. Well, that’s a waste of good man candy on your part.”

  I shook my head. “Cass, you’re seventeen years old.”

  She giggled. “I have eyes.” She leaned closer to me. “You know, my cousin Lu had a massive crush on Flynn Evans. She used to swoon over him, and I never saw why. Being I was only, like eight or nine. But now . . .” She nodded. “I get it. Totally.”

  “He’s too old for you.” I didn’t mean to sound so mom-like, but the words came out harsh.

  “Who’s too old?” Flynn’s voice held a familiar note of humor.

  I raised one eyebrow at Cass. “No one. Cass, would you please start re-stocking the asparagus? It’s going fast.”

  “Sure.” She headed toward the back, where we kept the extra stock. As soon as she was behind Flynn, out of his line of vision, she turned back to me, and with eyes wide, fanned her face. I stared hard at her, one eyebrow raised, until she finally got the hint.

  “Thanks for coming over. I appreciate it.” I hooked my thumbs in the front pockets of my jeans.

  “I didn’t mind.” He smiled, and for the first time since he’d come back to Burton, it was all for me. His eyes were warm, and he let them skim down my body in a way that almost left me in a puddle.

  Keep it business. I had to be firm with myself. Firm, like the abs that rippled under his black T-shirt. Firm, like the muscles in his arms . . .

  No. I swallowed hard and tried to remember why he was here. Bridget. And the party. Yup, that was it. “So I needed your input on something. Bridget was invited to one of her friend’s birthday party. It’s in two weeks, and it’s in Savannah.”

  Flynn’s eyebrows drew together. “Savannah? Why? Does the girl live there?”

  I sighed and shook my head. “Nope. It’s a pirate-themed party, and they’re the taking the kids to the Pirate House restaurant and then spending the night at a hotel. I think the idea is to let them have fun at the hotel pool and stay up late.”

  “Okay. Not sure I love the idea of Bridget going all the way to the city with people I don’t know.” He paused. “Do you know the parents very well?”

  “I know them a little. I probably would’ve said no right off the bat, but all Bridge’s friends are going, and she’s desperate not to be left out.” I bit the corner of my lip, mulling over whether or not to share Meghan’s offer with him. In the end, loyalty to my daughter won out. “Meghan and Sam offered to drive her up and stay in the city the whole time. Meg’s got an apartment there, so they
’d be close if anything happened.”

  “That’s really nice of them.” Flynn shifted his weight, and I thought distractedly that it ought to be illegal for jeans to look that good on any guy.

  “Yeah, well, it’s not that altruistic.” I smirked. “They don’t get much alone time, living in a house with a sister and a niece. Sam doesn’t get up to stay with Meghan very often, since he has to be at the farm, so I think this would be as much for them as for us.” My face heated. Damn. “For Bridget, I mean. To make sure we felt okay about Bridget going.”

  “Still cool that they’d do that. If they really don’t mind, then I’m all right with Bridget going.” He hastened to add, “If you are, of course. You know more about Bridget’s friends and their parents, so I’ll defer to your wishes.”

  “Thanks.” We stood there, not knowing what to say next, and in a moment of weakness, I let myself look at him, really look. For the first time in almost nine years, I saw Flynn without the haze of pain, guilt and regret. Under the new sharper planes of his face, I could still make out the boy who’d loved me. And within the outlines of his broader, more muscled physique, I saw the arms that had once held me as our bodies trembled with passion.

  And speaking of trembling . . . my eyelids fluttered as Flynn reached out a hand to brush my hair away from my face.

  “You let your hair grow longer.” His fingertips traced my cheekbone. “I like it.”

  “I don’t have a lot of time for haircuts these days.” I whispered the words, almost afraid to move too much. Everything around us was still, quiet; no cars passing by, no customers milling around. Vaguely, I registered the noise of Cassie in the back, unloading asparagus.

  “Ali.” Flynn slid his palm against my cheek. “I’d forgotten how smooth your skin is.” His chest rose as he breathed deep. “And how good you smell. Like lilacs.”

  “What are you doing, Flynn?” I wanted to make myself step backward, but I was afraid if I moved at all, it would be closer, into his arms.

  “I’m remembering.” His breath tickled me, and I shivered. Flynn let his hand wander down my arm. “Goosebumps. Do you remember the night—”

  “No.” I forced myself back. “Flynn, I can’t do this. I can’t let myself remember that night, or any of our nights together. It hurts too much. It’s easy for you to talk about memories and then walk away. But I can’t walk down that road. It took me too long to get over you last time.”

  He frowned. “Ali, I didn’t mean—”

  I held up one hand. “It’s fine, Flynn. We have to learn to be together, for Bridget’s sake, without it being awkward.” I paused, staring over his shoulder. “Given our history, it’s natural that there’ll always be a pull between us. But we can’t let that go anywhere.”

  “What if it’s more than just history?” Flynn’s voice was rough.

  “It’s too risky to test that theory.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “What if we did, and we broke our hearts, again? Bridget was the collateral damage last time. I can’t let that happen again. We have to focus on being parents together.”

  “And that’s it? We were friends once. Couldn’t we try that again?”

  I considered. “Sure. Friends is good. I can do that.”

  Flynn nodded. “Okay, friends. And parents.” He put his hands on his hips. To the casual observer, he seemed loose, relaxed, but I could see the tension in his jaw.

  I searched for a change of topic. “So, do you and Bridge have any plans for tonight?”

  He lifted one shoulder. “Actually, I’m being kicked out of the house. Mom and the girls are doing a spa night. They told me no boys allowed.”

  “What’re you going to do?” I wondered if Flynn had been in touch with any of his old buddies from high school. Not that he’d had that many, now that I thought of it; he’d been friendly with guys from the football team, but they never hung out beyond practice. I’d been his best friend, and he’d been mine. Other than Alex, who was equally loyal to us both. As though I’d summoned him, Flynn spoke his name.

  “Alex is in town, and he asked if I wanted to go check out Mason Wallace’s new place. Guess I’ll do that.” He studied me, his expression blank. “How about you? What do you do with yourself when Bridget’s with me?”

  “Go to bed early.” I managed a smile. “I’ve actually taken a few long baths, which is something I haven’t had the time to do until lately. Oh, and I read an actual book. One for grown-ups.”

  Behind me, I heard a car pull in. Flynn’s eyes flickered over my head and then back down to me. “Well, looks like you have customers. And I’d better go fetch our daughter.”

  “Thanks. Have fun tonight.” I took another step away and gave him a quick wave.

  “Will do. You, too. Enjoy your, ah, bath.” He made it sound so much dirtier that it was. “See you tomorrow afternoon around five?”

  “Sure. I’ll see you then.” I moved back behind the register and pretended not to watch him go. Once he was out of sight, I took out my phone and began to text.

  Hey, best friend. Are you in town?

  Alex didn’t respond for a few minutes, and I wondered what was going on with him. Finally, the phone beeped.

  I’m on my way. Almost there. News travels fast. Or someone’s been talking to lover boy.

  I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right. Were you going to tell me?

  Of course, doofus. I was going to come by this afternoon. Okay?

  Alex never called me before he came to town. Why should this weekend be any different? Why was I making this such a big deal?

  Okay, sure. See you in about ten.

  Cassie came back out, carrying a wooden crate. “Is it safe to come out yet?”

  “What’re you talking about? Of course it’s safe.” I glanced at the gray-haired woman who was poking at tomatoes. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “I didn’t want to interrupt anything hot and heavy. And the way Flynn was looking at you . . .” Her eyes widened. “Definitely hot.”

  “You’re a delusional child.” I shook my head and took the crate out of her hands. “Give me that. I’ll stack while you—” I jerked my chin in the direction of our customer. “Handle the floor.”

  I pulled the top off the box and began unloading the vegetables with hands that weren’t quite steady yet. I hated that Flynn still had that kind of power over me. Not that I thought he knew it . . . I didn’t think he wanted to hurt me. Not on purpose. But I had a hunch that what for him might be a casual stroll down memory lane would be for me a treacherous dash off the edge of a very steep cliff.

  I finished with the asparagus and carried the crate to the back. As I turned around to head back into the stand, I heard a familiar voice that made me grin.

  “Cassandra Deymeyer, you young vixen. Why were you born too late?”

  Cassie giggled, and I rolled my eyes. “Alex, stop dangling sugar in front of the jail bait. And Cass, I think the customer’s ready to check out. Can you handle that, please?”

  She sighed. “You hog all the uber-babes who come here, you know that? Fine. I’ll go.”

  I shook my head as she slipped past me, and Alex cocked his head. “All the uber-babes? Were there other uber-babes here today? Should I feel threatened?”

  I swatted his arm. “She was drooling over Flynn when he stopped by. I’m getting a little worried . . . Cassie used to be the most level-headed teenager I knew. Now she’s a big ball of hormones.”

  “We’ve all been there, done that. She’ll survive. So will you. Now would you like to tell me why Flynn was here earlier?”

  “We had to discuss some Bridget stuff.” I couldn’t quite meet Alex’s eye, and of course he noticed.

  “Was that all? The pretty pink creeping up your neck says different.”

  “I don’t know, Alex.” I leaned against the side of the sliding wall. “When Flynn came back to town, all I could think about was him finding out about Bridget. After I told him, it was all about how angry he was, how hurt. Now things hav
e kind of . . . leveled out. And sometimes he says things. I’m not sure what it means. Today he looked at me . . . almost like he used to.”

  “Remind me why that’s so bad and scary, Ali Baba.” Alex’s voice was gentle.

  “It’s bad because I don’t think he really means any of it. He’s back in town, dealing with his dad’s death and his new daughter, and he’s got all this nostalgia going about what used to be. It’s making him say and do things he never would, otherwise. And it’s scary because . . .” I pressed my lips together. “I might start to believe in him again.”

  “Oh, angel.” Alex pulled me into his arms. “When did you stop believing that good things can work out for you?”

  I sniffled against his chest. “Probably around the time I found out I was pregnant, and the guy I was crazy in love with was gone for good. You remember those days, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I do. I know what it was like for you then. But you’re not the same person you were nine years ago, sweetie pie. Did you ever stop and think maybe Flynn isn’t, either? You might give him a chance and find out.”

  “I’m not sure I can. What if I can’t handle it when he leaves again?”

  “Let’s take it one bungee jump at a time, okay? Who says he’s leaving? And even if he did, who says you don’t have more options now than you did back then?”

  I pushed away from Alex and wiped at my face. “I don’t see any new ones. Feels pretty much the same.” I sucked in a deep breath. “So I hear you’re going out with Flynn tonight. Did you get tired of boring old me?”

  “Not at all.” He flicked my nose. “Flynn’s been texting with me the last few weeks. I got the feeling he was a little lonely, feeling a little at loose ends. So when I found out I was going to be passing through, I suggested a boys’ night out. It just happened to work.” He slanted a look at me. “Want to join us? The three musketeers ride again?”

  “Thanks, but no. I’m not looking to be a third wheel.”

  Alex frowned. “You wouldn’t be. We never—”

  “Excuse me.”

  I turned, surprised by the soft voice behind me. The girl who stood twisting her hands together had almost white-blonde hair and huge blue eyes. She was petite; her head barely reached my shoulder, and I wasn’t tall by anyone’s standard. She bit her lip as she glanced from Alex to me.