The Crimson Deathbringer

by Sean Robins

  Liz looked at Keiko with newfound respect, much to my chagrin.

  I could feel my face steaming. I yelled, “But the rest are there because of you and this bald gorilla.”

  That would normally cause a reaction from Allen, but he was having too much fun to get angry. He said, “A gorilla fights much better than a bunch of monkeys, eh?”

  Feeling suicidal, I clenched my fists and took a step towards Allen. Tarq interfered. “Knock it off, Jim. All they did was stop your men from beating up a superior officer, which would have gotten them court-martialed.”

  I couldn’t stop fuming though. For one thing, you didn’t mess with people under my command, period. For another, the story that Kurt and Allen, with some help from Keiko, had beaten up sixteen pilots had spread throughout Winterfell. All the pilots were embarrassed. To make matters worse, a few of the more macho—or stupid—pilots had tried to provoke some Commandos into fighting them, and they had ended up having their asses handed to them too.

  My pride shouldn’t have been so hurt. Kurt and Allen were both masters in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, even before MICI, which had imprinted them with God knows what other skills. Scant consolation though.

  To top it all off, Tarq ordered all officers who had shown or expressed “any racist tendencies” to report to MICI. That somehow included me, even though I had nothing to do with the brawl. Sometimes the whole world conspires against you. This was how my name entered the history books as one of the first people on Earth who was sent to rehabilitate his racist tendencies by an alien. I never believed for a minute MICI could do anything to “remove racist predispositions” as Tarq put it. This had to be just another one of his stupid pranks.

  A few days later and only after I calmed down, Kurt came to me and said, “I’m concerned about lack of discipline among the fighter pilots, Jim. Whatever those pilots’ personal feelings were, they shouldn’t have dared to attack a superior officer. And to be brutally honest, your own second-in-command doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about your orders half the time.”

  My “second-in-command” being Liz, that was a keen observation.

  “Kurt, this isn’t the freaking military,” I said. “I have zero real authority over the people under my command, and the fact that our so-called commander treats everything like a freaking joke doesn’t help either. If they don’t listen to me, what am I supposed to do about it?”

  Kurt smiled. “First off, you complaining that Tarq fools around too much is the pot calling the kettle black. Secondly, the Resistance wasn’t a military unit either, but it was perfectly understood that if someone didn’t listen to Allen or me, we’d take them to the back and shoot them in the head.”

  “Did you ever actually shoot anyone in the head?” I asked.

  “Nope.”

  “See?” I said. “This is the problem. You and Allen have a reputation I simply don’t have. Everyone knows I am an ace pilot, but people see me more as a movie star than a leader. Plus, let’s be honest; I’m really not one.”

  “We could use MICI to make them follow your orders.”

  I protested, “Absolutely not! How’s that different from what Tarq did to us? No, I just have to earn their respect, one way or another.”

  That was easier said than done, though. The problem was I’d been appointed as the commander of the fleet because I was the first fighter pilot to arrive at Winterfell. I hadn’t earned my command. If I wanted to gain the other pilots’ respect, I had to do something amazing, and all I had done by now was flying escort missions and winning meaningless competitions.

  I wondered what Tarq had seen in me to appoint me commander. Being an excellent fighter pilot didn’t by itself qualify me for a command role. In all likelihood, Tarq had simply made a mistake, or it was one of his damned pranks.

  “On the bright side, I think having Keiko around might help because nobody dares mess with her,” said Kurt.

  “And this is supposed to make me feel better?” I asked.

  Winterfell - March 12, 2048

  Elizabeth asked with surprise in her voice, “It’s done already?”

  Tarq answered, “Yes, and all the money now is in the account you provided. Completely untraceable, of course.”

  They were sitting in Tarq’s office. Less than two hours ago Elizabeth had given him a list of the names of Zheng’s top officials, including the general himself, and asked him to find out their banking information and transfer all their money to a Swiss bank account she’d opened. Tarq, who had considered this a funny practical joke, had assured her this was a piece of cake for him. Still. She couldn’t believe Tarq had stolen billions from the most dangerous men on the planet in a matter of hours, even with the Akakies’ technology at his disposal.

  She said, “There’s one more favor I need you to do for me. I’m going to send you the names of several charities, including one that I founded, and I want you to anonymously send the money to them.”

  New York’s orphans were going to be well taken care of for a while.

  “All of it?” asked Tarq.

  “How much is there?”

  Tarq brought up a screen and pointed at it.

  Elizabeth gasped and grabbed Tarq’s arm. She counted the zeroes twice to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake, then asked, “What do you say we keep a couple of hundred million dollars as a little nest egg for Jim and me?”

  Chapter Seven

  New York - March 18, 2048

  Kurt looked at the man sleeping on his bed in full uniform and for a brief moment pitied him. He’d obviously been too tired to change before going to bed. Everyone who was working at SCTU had been pulling double or triple shifts in the past few weeks with absolutely nothing to show for it. They were all chasing ghosts, and the couple of times they had gotten close to catching some of the Commandos, Jim and his pilots showed up and blew up everything to hell.

  Kurt kicked the man’s ankle a few times. He sleepily opened his eyes, and after seeing a tall man wearing a black trench coat standing right in the middle of his bedroom, swore and tried to grab the gun he was hiding under his bed, only for Kurt to calmly draw a gun and shoot his hand. He opened his mouth to shout. Kurt put his index finger on his lips, asking him to be quiet. “Lieutenant Eric Green. I guess you know who I am.”

  The SCTU officer stared at him with fear in his eyes. Kurt added, “Relax. I am not here to kill you. A few months ago, you were in charge of the team searching Jim Harrison’s house. You found a ring there. I assume you sold it to a pawn shop. I want the shop’s address.”

  With everything else going on—the alien invasion and whatnot—I’d almost forgotten I was planning to get married.

  Kurt hadn’t.

  One morning, I was eating breakfast when he showed up, threw me a small gift-wrapped box and said, “I’ve got a present for you.”

  I widened my eyes in feigned horror and shouted, “What’s in the box? What’s in the box?”

  Kurt sighed. “I have no idea what you’re doing right now.”

  I opened the present to find the ring I was planning to give Liz.

  Amazed, I asked, “How on earth did you find it?”

  Kurt winked at me. “I’m the greatest detective in the world. When are you going to propose?”

  I immediately said, “Tonight. I have a sneaky feeling that if I wait, another earth-shattering event might ruin my plans again.”

  “In that case, I have another present for you,” said Kurt, handing me a plastic bag.

  I called out, “Sweetheart? You gonna be in there long?”

  Liz said, “Just a minute,” and a couple of minutes later walked out of our bathroom, wrapping a white towel around her still-wet body.

  That figures!

  I was standing at the middle of our quarters, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot, one of my hands hiding behind my back. On our bed, there was a big bouquet of fresh flowers I’d stolen from Winterfell’s park (Tarq could sue me), a teddy bear, a bottle o
f red wine, and a big heart-shaped box of chocolates. Kurt had given me the last three items. Soft, romantic music and smell of the roses filled the room.

  Surprised, Liz asked, “Eh, what’s all this?”

  “I’ve got a surprise for you. Turn around.”

  Liz smiled (that smile!) and playfully turned around. I walked closer, started rubbing the wedding ring’s box against her bare shoulder skin and asked, “Can you guess what this is?”

  Liz tried to reach back and touch the box, but I took it away from her reach. She giggled. “It had better not be a sex toy!”

  “Pervert,” I said.

  She turned around to find me on one knee, with the wedding ring box open to reveal a sparkling diamond ring. I asked simply, “Will you marry me?”

  Liz’s mouth gaped slightly open, and her eyes become as wide as small saucers. She covered her mouth with her hand, and her towel slipped just a little, but unfortunately for me, she managed to hold on to it. She looked like she was not sure what to say for a few long seconds, during which time my heart thumped against my ribcage so loudly I wondered if she could hear it. Then she bent over, kissed me on the lips and said, “Before I say yes, I have a condition.”

  “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

  “If at any stage before, during or after the ceremony, the words ‘Red Wedding’ come out of your mouth, I’ll cancel the whole thing!”

  She knew me so well. I’d already thought about five different Red-Wedding related jokes.

  We asked Tarq to marry us. As Winterfell Commander, he was the logical choice, plus we figured it’d be cool to be the first couple in the world who were married by an alien. With the Xortaag fleet on the way, we decided to get married as soon as possible and chose the last day of March for our wedding.

  It was a simple but beautiful ceremony. Liz looked stunning in her white wedding dress. I couldn’t stop staring at her. She looked lovelier every time I looked at her. Or maybe I was just noticing more—the slant of her eyes, the curve of her cheek, the way her smile twitched up right before it broke out into full wattage. I was wearing my dark blue full-dress uniform. We’d invited all our friends. My best man was Kurt, wearing his trademark black trench coat, accompanied by my groomsmen, Liz’s brother Matias, and Allen, of all people.

  I sighed. Allen was one of my groomsmen. It was complicated.

  Liz’s maid of honor was Keiko, also in uniform. The two of them had become good friends in the past few weeks. I suspected Liz really enjoyed it whenever I got my ass kicked by Keiko in a simulated competition, which happened more often than I was willing to admit. Her bridesmaids were her two sisters, Samantha and Theresa, one lithe and dark, one cocoa-colored and voluptuous, both almost as pretty as Liz, and Allen’s daughter, Lilly.

  Tarq, wearing his white tuxedo and feathered hat, performed his duties perfectly. He made a short, poetic speech about love, marriage, and family. He solemnly asked us, “Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for one another, cherish and encourage each other, stand together, through sorrows and joys, hardships and triumphs for all the days of your lives?”

  I opened my mouths to say “I do” when a wailing siren filled up the room.

  His eyes bulging, Tarq shouted, “This is the Xortaag invasion! Everyone! Report to your posts immediately!”

  Barook jumped from his seats and ran towards the door.

  What were the chances that this happened at the very moment when we were getting married?

  Winterfell - March 28, 2048

  Kurt casually asked Tarq, “By the way, you aren’t planning one of your infamous practical jokes for Jim’s wedding, are you?”

  Accompanied by Allen, Kurt was in Tarq’s office, briefing him on their latest recruitment efforts. Knowing Tarq’s tendency to pull distasteful pranks, Kurt and Allen had decided to have a word with him before the wedding. Tarq, caught off-guard, answered, “What? Who? Me? How? I have not even thought about such a thing!”

  As if, thought Kurt. “What are you planning?”

  “Nothing, I swear. I will never smear the sanctity of marriage with a prank, trust me!”

  Allen leaned forward and growled, “Listen to me. You tell me what you’re up to right this moment, or I’ll break your fingers.”

  Tarq unconsciously hid his fingers, still holding his pipe, behind his back. “Okay! Take it easy. Nothing serious. I have hired a stripper to jump out of a fake wedding cake. That’s it.”

  Kurt said, “You have to understand wedding ceremonies are extremely important for us humans, especially for the women. Don’t even think about it. If you bring a stripper to the wedding, Elizabeth will strangle her to death, and then you, and we’ll help her.”

  “Just to be on the safe side, we’ll check the cake, or wherever else you can hide a nude woman,” added Allen.

  “I understand,” said Tarq solemnly. “No pranks during the wedding. I promise.”

  “Speaking of Elizabeth, there’s another issue I wanted to talk to you about,” said Kurt. “Are you sure selecting her as the fleet’s second-in-command was the right decision? She’s a skillful pilot, but she isn’t military, and she lacks the discipline of a career military woman like Keiko. She keeps ignoring Jim’s orders.”

  Tarq smirked and moved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fun watching her bossing seasoned fighter pilots around.”

  After leaving Tarq’s office, Kurt and Allen went to have dinner with Lilly. While eating, Allen mentioned to his daughter how they’d confronted Tarq and found her staring at them in surprise.

  “Didn’t you tell me the Akakies consider practical jokes a form of art and put a ridiculous amount of energy into pulling one off?” asked Lilly. “And isn’t this the same man who pulled the whole you-are-dead-and-in-heaven-charade?”

  Allen nodded.

  Lilly sighed. “Dad, the problem is neither you nor Kurt have a sense of humor. Do you really think a man like that would do something as banal as hiring a naked woman to jump out of a cake?”

  Kurt thought about it for a second, then put his fork down on the table and laughed. “The two of us are supposed to be bad-ass warriors, and that little sneaky alien fooled us so easily.”

  “Well, shit,” said Allen.

  “Language,” said Kurt. “There’re children present.”

  Lilly pretended she was about to throw a knife at him. “You won’t call me a child when I reprogram one of Winterfell’s robots to come to your room and kill you in your sleep.”

  “That won’t work.” Allen wolfed down a big chunk of meat. “Kurt sleeps with one eye open, and he has a gun under his pillow. Old habit.”

  “I can fill his room with gas using Winterfell’s environmental control system.”

  Allen gave his daughter an admonishing look. Kurt asked him, “And who do you think she inherited these violent tendencies from?”

  “Her mother,” said Allen without hesitation. “You think I’m violent? I’m a cute puppy compared to that woman.”

  “He’s right, actually,” said Lilly. “I still have bruises from my childhood when I had to live with her.”

  “Here is a question I’ve been wanting to ask you for a long time,” Kurt told them. “You guys are sure you’re Canadian?”

  “This sounds like something Jim would say,” said Allen. “How many times have I said that boy has a bad influence on you?”

  Answer? None. Or at least astronomical.

  Kurt and Allen had approached Barook and pretended they were in on the prank, with Kurt saying something like, “This will be the best practical joke ever!” Barook boasted how great the prank would be and gave Kurt and Allen enough clues to put it all together.

  Tarq was speechless when he saw us standing there and smiling at him. I waved my hand dismissively. “Can we please get on with it?”

  Tarq pulled himself together and showed enough grace to continue the ceremony. When we were saying our vows, I noticed Allen wipe a tear from his face. Maybe the o
ld man wasn’t that bad, after all. We exchanged our wedding rings. I told Liz, “I’ll be wearing this for the next hundred years,” and I kissed the bride. There were cheers, and someone whooped.

  Mrs. Elizabeth Harrison. It did have a nice ring to it. Or was it Mrs. Harrison-Lopez? Lopez-Harrison?

  We had a festive reception after the ceremony. We ate, drank, danced, and incessantly made fun of Tarq for his failed prank. I looked at my friends and in-laws’ faces, and happiness swelled inside me like a warm ocean wave. I let it soak right into my heart, savoring every moment, forgetting about the Xortaags and the deadly danger they posed to humanity. Being an only child and not close to my parents, this was the first time in my life I felt I had a family. I wanted to make sure I still remembered these moments vividly when I was old. And for once, Venom was completely quiet.

  We got a lot of wedding presents. Tarq gave us two VR headsets that could convert any normal movies into holographic ones, with the viewer in the thick of the action. Liz loved Keiko’s present, a beautiful Japanese tea set. Kurt didn’t give us anything. He said, “Your present will be ready by the time you come back.” Very mysterious.

  When we were dancing, Liz told me, “I have to make a confession: I love someone else, but his parents didn’t let us get married.”

  I pretended I was having a heart attack.

  Life was good.

  Later on, after we were back in our quarters, alone, Liz hugged me and with her sexy British accent whispered in my ears, “My husband! I love you.”

  I l caressed her thick curly hair and said, “My wife! I love you more.”

  With Tarq’s permission, Liz and I went on a one-week honeymoon. We took a Firefly and landed on a small uninhabited island in the Pacific Ocean, where we camouflaged the ship and used it as a temporary residence. It was only the two of us, a bunch of movies, a whole lot of wine, and a pristine, breathtakingly beautiful beach. We ate and drank and danced and made love and watched movies—not necessarily in that order—for the whole week without a single care in the world. It was heaven.