Beautiful Ugly

by Shelia E. Bell

  “But Envy, I still feel sorry for her. I mean, she can barely provide for the six kids she already has. From what she says, only one of her kids’ daddies pays child support, and I don’t think that amounts to much of anything. If it wasn’t for food stamps and that part-time job she has, the girl would be homeless.”

  “You’re right. But did you know that she applied for SSI benefits for Keith?” Envy asked. She looked at Layla like she knew that Kacie hadn’t told her.

  “What for? The boy is not mentally or physically challenged. He’s just a typical five-year-old. How could she even think she could get benefits for him?” Layla became perfectly tuned to what Envy had just said.

  “He’s been tested at school, and then they sent him for a psychological evaluation. They’ve determined he has a learning disability. She’s waiting to hear from the disability determination section. If he’s approved, then she’ll get a little over six hundred dollars monthly.”

  Layla spoke in a harsh tone after hearing what Envy told her. “Sometimes, Envy, I don’t know about Kacie. She acts like she wants to be stuck in the welfare system forever. I mean, she’s not dumb. But then again, she keeps having all of these children. She lives in Section 8 housing and makes just enough money to keep getting benefits. Now if she puts that poor child on disability, she’s going to reap even more benefits. As for a learning disability, all he needs is some one on one time, someone to sit down with him and go over his work with him. Instead, she treats those children like they can do everything on their own.”

  “I agree with everything you’ve said. But what can we do about it?” Neither of them answered. The car was filled with silence until Envy dropped Layla off at home.

  Layla got out of the car and said her goodbyes. She turned the doorknob and heard the phone ringing when she walked inside her apartment. When she answered it, she immediately forgot about all of the day’s events. Dennis’s voice invoked calmness in her.

  “Hello there, lady,” he said.

  “Hi, Dennis.”

  “What’s up with you this evening?” he asked.

  “Actually, I just walked in the house. I went to church, and afterward we had a special installation service for new trustees and deacons. When that was over, I went to visit one of my friends.”

  “Umm, friend, huh? May I ask if he’s a steady friend?”

  Layla smiled over the phone. “He is not a steady friend. She is a long time friend.”

  “Oh, I heard that. I’m relieved,” he said flirtatiously.

  “You are, huh?” Layla walked to the living room and sat on the peach print sofa. With shyness in her voice she asked, “And why are you relieved?”

  “Because I want you all for myself,” he replied boldly. “Can I see you tonight?”

  Caught off guard, Layla didn’t know what to say. “Uh,” she stammered. “I don’t know about tonight.”

  “So you’re saying you don’t want to see me?”

  “No, I’m not saying that.”

  “Oh, so you do want to see me?” he spoke jokingly.

  Layla laughed. “Yes, I want to see you, but tonight isn’t good.” Her laugh turned into a voice mounting with uneasiness. Perhaps the cutting words of Kacie still weighed heavily on her mind.

  “Okay, I guess I’ll let you slide this time. But I do want to see you. I’d really like to get to know you better. And of course you can get to know me better.”

  “I’ll agree to that.” Layla’s tension eased. “So why don’t I give you a call tomorrow.”

  “Sure, sounds good. Have a great evening, gorgeous, and think of me if you will.”

  Layla felt somewhat self-conscious when Dennis called her gorgeous. She wasn’t used to such flattering remarks. Mike never called her anything but cutting words. She shook at the thought of Mike. She raised her blouse and glared at the protracted, hideous scar on her belly. The thought of how it got there made her want to break down. Mike had actually meant to kill her. When she felt tears trying to fall from her eyes, she quickly released the shirt and focused on her conversation with Dennis. Mike was gone out of her life forever. Not only would he never torment her again, he would never be able to do it to any other woman.

  Layla vowed never to allow a man to mistreat her again. She was far too special. God loved her, and He wanted everything good for her. She wanted her own treasure, which reminded her; she had to make sure Dennis wasn’t carrying any hidden baggage himself.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it. Confucius

  “Monday morning, Kacie woke up to the kids arguing. It took a minute for her to remember that they were out for the next two days for teachers’ conferences. She turned back over in the bed and closed her red, bloated eyes. The day’s events smothered her mind. Deacon was going to pay. Somehow, someway, she had to make him feel as much pain as he was causing her. Envy was right. She was stupid and deserved everything coming to her. Now she would have another mouth to feed and no one to help but her. Her family would be angry enough. Rarely did they see the kids, and they never volunteered to keep them.

  It was close to three o’clock in the afternoon when Kacie stumbled to the front of the house. Her hair was all over her head, and she didn’t stop by the bathroom to wash her face or brush her teeth. “What are y’all doing?” she asked the kids.

  “Watching TV,” Kassandra spoke up.

  “Well, y’all clean up the kitchen. Make sure you give Keshena a bath too, Kassandra.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Kacie turned around and ambled back down the hall. She sat back down on her bed, picked up her phone, and then turned it on. Eight messages. Envy had called a couple of times, and the other times it was Deacon, pleading for her to talk to him so he could explain. Each message he left sounded more pitiful than the one before. So much so that Kacie felt compelled to talk to him and hear him out. Maybe I should at least entertain listening to what he has to say. On second thought, forget his lying behind. Some Deacon he is.

  The doorbell chimed.

  “Momma, Mr. Deacon’s at the door,” Keith ran to the back of the house and told her.

  “What have I told y’all about opening the door?” She chastised him and popped him on his back.

  “But it’s Mr. Deacon. You said not to open it if we didn’t know who it was,” Keith pitifully explained and tried to hold back his tears.

  Kacie got up and walked on her tip toes more than ever. She rushed to the front and met Deacon head on, coming down the hallway. Due to limited muscle restriction in her lower legs caused by her medical condition, Kacie almost lost her balanced when she stopped suddenly. “What are you doing here?”

  “We need to talk,” he demanded.

  Kacie swished around and stormed back to her bedroom. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say. Shouldn’t you be at work?”

  “Don’t worry about that. I’m here and we need to talk, like I said,” he spoke with furrowed brows.

  “I know all there is I need to know. You are a liar.” She yelled at Deacon and pointed a finger in her his face. “A married liar at that,” she fumed.

  “Believe me, baby. I planned on telling you, but the time was never right.” He broke out into an apology. “Kacie, please, forgive me. I was wrong. I didn’t intend for you to find out like this. It’s been over between me and Martha for a long time. That’s why you never hear about us as a couple. She goes to her home church and I go to Cummings Street. We share a house together; we have no children or anything else.” He lightly grabbed hold of Kacie’s elbow as he sensed her body beginning to relax. “What keeps us together is the fact that we share quite a bit of property, stock and real estate. It would be disastrous for us to divorce just like that.” He snapped his fingers.

  “Oh, poor Mr. Riggs. He has so much money that he has to stay in a loveless marriage. Poor, poor Deacon,” she said with bitterness ringing through her voice.

  “We can work it out;
please, just give me time to work everything out.” His voice was less curt.

  “And here I was, happier than I’d ever been in my life. You have no idea what you’ve done, Deacon.” Unable to hold back any longer, she spoke with desperation in her voice. Holding on to her already baby fat belly, she blurted, “I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with your child, Deacon.”

  The color drained from Deacon’s face. He jerked her hard and she held on to his other arm to keep herself from falling. “How dare you grab me like that? Are you crazy?” Her eyes darkened and displayed a look of fury that Deacon had never witnessed.

  He quickly loosened his grip, and she flopped back on the bed. “Pregnant?” He ran his hand through his thick head of naturally reddish-brown hair. “And you want to sit here and go off on me when you’ve been screwing around on me? Is this your sick minded way of revenge?” His voice was hoarse with harshness, and he took two steps away from her.

  “Cheating on you? Why, you good for nothing, fake, wannabe…” Expletives rolled from her lips. “I’m pregnant with your child. I’ve never once cheated on you, and for you to say such a thing is beneath even you, Deacon.” Kacie was so angry she grabbed hold of a pillow and threw it at him.

  “Don’t get mad now, because the truth hurts. The surprise is on you.” Deacon chortled. “I can’t have children. Not that I owe you an explanation, but I had a vasectomy years ago because I’ve never wanted kids. So you better add your name to the Maury show. Maybe he can go through the list of men you’ve been sleeping with and figure out who the father of this one is. The joke is on you, sweetheart. That kid,” Deacon pointed at her slightly swelling tummy, “is no way mine.” He spoke so loudly there was no doubt he was enraged.

  “Get out. Get out of here right now,” she screamed and pointed toward the door. “You self-righteous, deceitful liar. I am pregnant. And you’re the father.” She cried and heaved at the harsh words he’d spat at her.

  He didn’t hesitate to follow her commands. His steps were sure and his broad shoulders appeared to stretch the fabric of his shirt as he walked up the hallway.

  She stood, her hair disheveled and she frowned with a cold fury. The kids huddled in one room, and Kacie caught them peeping through a barely open door. “Get your butts back in that room and shut the door,” she yelled an octave louder. “Get out of my house, I said!” she spat at Deacon.

  Deacon halted when he got to the kitchen door to leave. “Even if I could have a child, do you really think I would want it by you? You’re nothing but a baby making machine, a slut; someone who shouldn’t even call themselves a mother. These children just about raise themselves. I don’t know how you tripped them other dudes up, but this is one you ain’t trapping with your bull crap. I’m outta here. Stay away from me, and if I ever see you again, it’ll be way too soon.”

  Deacon’s wool jacket was more than enough to keep him warm against the cold. The heat that had evolved inside of him had him hotter than a day in July. He climbed in his car and sped off. He rubbed the top of his head again and drove away. “Dang, I can’t believe that I’ve gotten myself caught up like this. What am I going to do if she starts going around telling folks that lie. Stupid, stupid me. I slipped up one or two times and didn’t use protection; that’s why she thinks she can blame that baby on me. That’s what I get for letting my body control my mind. Dang,” he said and gunned the accelerator as he hit the interstate. There was only one person who he deemed close enough to talk to; his long time high school friend, Floyd. He called him on his cell phone and Floyd picked up quickly.

  “Whuzzup, man?” Floyd answered.

  “I need to talk to you. I’ve got myself into a suckified situation – at least I think I do. You got a minute.”

  “You at work?”

  “Naw, man. Work has to wait. Going to work is the last thing on my mind.”

  “Sounds bad, man. Yeah, come on over. I’m here by myself, chillin’. The old lady’s gone shopping this morning with her sister.”

  Deacon arrived at Floyd’s house. He didn’t waste time telling Floyd about everything that had happened.

  “Man, what were you thinking about? A broad like that and you didn’t use protection? I hate to bash you, but the truth is the truth. You have got yourself in more than a mess. And you’ve been chosen as a deacon at your church? Man, all of that is going down the tubes. Vasectomy or no vasectomy, man, you need to put a stop to that female and her big mouth. It’s bad enough you’ve been sleeping around on Martha. When she finds out about Kacie, it could lead to the end of your marriage. And then the broad is saying she’s pregnant by you too.”

  Floyd shook his head in wonderment. “And you know how females are, man. If Martha hears that this girl is pregnant, she’s not going to be thinking about you had a vasectomy. That’s gone out the window with the wind, and you know it. It’s something about ladies, man. Martha is probably going to think that you never had a vasectomy, or that you had it reversed. She might even think that you said you had a vasectomy because you didn’t want to have children with her. The list of possibilities when it comes to the female psyche is endless.”

  Floyd stood up from his leather sofa and started pacing across the hardwood floor. “I’m telling you, they believe what they want to believe. I don’t know what to tell you, man, except you better get to Martha and tell her everything before that broad, Kacie, gets to her. If that happens, your marriage is probably blown for sure.”

  Deacon stood up and took Floyd’s place, pacing back and forth. His right hand massaged his stubbled chin. Then he placed both hands on the sides of his head like he was in the throes of a migraine. He stopped and looked at Floyd. “The kid is not mine, that’s for sure. She could be lying about the whole pregnancy thing.” Deacon’s mind was a flurry of confusing thoughts. “You know I never wanted kids, and Martha knew it before we got married. My mother used to babysit kids day in and day out, and I promised myself that when I became an adult, married or not, there would be no brats running around under my feet. The closest I’ll come to claiming a kid is if I’m an uncle.”

  “I guess the one smart thing you did for now is to tell the woman you had a vasectomy. That was good.” Floyd laughed lightly. “If she’s lying about being pregnant, then she’ll probably tell you that she had a miscarriage. On the other hand, if she really is pregnant, then she’s more than likely going to set out to ruin your life. She won’t care if it’s yours or not because your marriage, your status at church, all of it will be ruined. Dang, man, I feel bad for you.” Floyd placed a hand of sympathy on Deacon’s shoulder.

  “You don’t know Kacie. I don’t think she’s the kind that will up and disappear. She can cause trouble, and don’t forget she goes to the same church as I do; it’s not going to be as easy as you might think.”

  “Man, you got yourself into a full blown mess. I say give her some money. You know, like pay her to shut her mouth. She got at least five baby daddies already, which says right there that she ain’t ‘bout nothing. Now she wants you to up and believe that what she says is gospel. I say, no way.”

  Floyd lit a cigarette and pulled on it. He stood with his arms folded and his brow ruffled, and remarked, “Whatever you do from this point on, be smart, man. No more dumb or stupid moves. You’re in deep enough already.” Floyd patted his friend on the back. He took another pull from his cigarette and squashed the nearly whole cigarette it in a nearby ashtray.

  “Let me go, man. I’m going home to think and pray. It’s wild how life can get screwed up so quickly.” Slowly and looking downward, Deacon turned and walked toward the door to leave. “Thanks for listening.”

  He grabbed his wool jacket off the coat rack by the door and put it on.

  “Think about what I said. You know this baby isn’t yours. It’s not like you haven’t had a chick or two on the side before. Did any of them come up with this I’m pregnant story? No, not one; so that’s even more reason for you to know that this female is lying. She’s in rev
enge mode after finding out you’re already spoken for.” Floyd and Deacon stood at the front door. “Women are worse than the devil himself when you cross them. You know that for sure,” Floyd added, then opened the door.

  “I’m outta here. I’ll let you know the outcome.” Deacon walked off quickly, trying to hurry to get in the car to escape the dropping temperature. Just before Floyd closed the door, Deacon stopped, turned, and said, “One thing’s for sure, I’m not going to let some slut mess up my life; that you can bank on.”

  Floyd nodded his head in agreement. “Now that’s what I’m talking about. Check you later, man.” Floyd closed the door and Deacon got in the car with refreshed confidence.

  When he drove into the garage at his home, he went inside, not fully knowing what to expect. He was a little paranoid, unsure what to think. Would it be like in the movies? Man walks in house. Mistress and wife are sitting in the kitchen sipping hot tea or coffee? He shook his head quickly to bring himself to reality. He had to keep it together. Though it had been only hours earlier when his life changed, it felt like someone had been watching him the entire time of his infidelity. He exhaled when he found Martha dressed in a lounging outfit, reading a book in her favorite gingham bedroom chair.

  “Hello, sweetheart.” He knelt over and kissed her hair.

  “Hi. Where have you been? I thought we were going to spend today together celebrating yesterday’s installation. We barely had enough time yesterday with everyone pulling at you, and then we had dinner with the other inductees, and on and on. So you can imagine my disappointment when I woke up to find you were gone.” She glanced up at him, with acceptance and not anger engraved on her face.

  “I know. And I’m sorry. But like always, they called me to the office to put out a blaze that could have turned into an inferno. One of our clients was raising cane about some of the additions he wanted on his office design that he had already signed off on. But all of that’s taken care of, and now it’s just you and me,” Deacon said and gingerly removed the novel form his wife’s soft hands and gently pulled her up from the chair.