He thrusts a few more times, his face contorting in pleasure as his orgasm hits him.
His eyes never leave mine.
I hold on to him, my fingers on his back, digging into his dragon tattoo.
“Anna,” he whispers, bracing himself over me. I pull him down, so his weight is on me, but I don’t mind. I like the feel of it.
“Hi,” I say, smiling up at him.
His lip twitches. “Hi, darlin’.”
“I missed you today,” I say, but instantly regret it when his entire body stiffens, and his expression is suddenly devoid of any emotion.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him softly.
He shakes his head and slides out of me, lying on his back. “Nothing, nothing’s wrong.”
I lay my head on his chest and wrap my arm around his waist.
“I love you, Arrow,” I tell him.
“Anna—” he whispers, his voice sounding strangled.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know. From the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted you. I can’t even explain it,” I ramble, then kiss him on his chest.
He rubs his hand down my back in comforting circles but doesn’t say anything back.
I didn’t expect him to.
I close my eyes and let sleep take over.
* * *
Over the next two weeks, Arrow pulls away from me. It might not be noticeable to others—he was still caring and protective— but I could tell the difference.
Something had happened to make him put distance between us. And I’m thinking it had to do with me dropping the L-bomb on him. Why did I have to tell him that I loved him? Yes, it’s the truth, but if I’d known he was going to act like this, I would have kept that bit of information to my damn self.
He comes to bed later and wakes up earlier. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to be around me as much. His playfulness is gone, and he’s almost back to how he was when I first met him.
I don’t like it one bit.
I don’t like that I sit and wait for him to come home at night.
I don’t like that he isn’t being himself anymore.
Why does he think he has to guard himself from me?
One thing that hasn’t changed is the sex. He still wants me, and that’s a good thing, I think.
Okay, I don’t know what to think anymore.
Yesterday, he came home with a present for me.
A car.
He bought me a fucking car.
A brand-new, expensive-looking car.
I don’t want a car.
I want Arrow back.
I wake up in bed alone, which I’m still not used to. I don’t want to get used to it. When I walk into the kitchen, I see him sitting there, nursing a beer. I look at the clock. It’s 9:00 a.m.
“Mornin’,” I say as I open the fridge and grab the milk.
“Mornin’, Anna,” he says quietly. “Do you want to take the car out for a drive today?”
With him? Sure.
“Sounds good,” I tell him, smiling. “Maybe we could get some lunch or something.”
He drinks his beer, eyeing me over the bottle. “Actually, I was going to ask Vinnie to take you. I got some stuff I need to do at Rift today.”
“Oh, right,” I say, looking down so he doesn’t see my disappointment. “Don’t bother Vinnie, I’ll ask Tracker to take me.”
His jaw tightens. “What’s wrong with Vinnie?”
“Nothing. I’m just more comfortable with Tracker, or Rake if it’s such a big issue.”
He makes a scoffing noise.
“What’s going on with you, Arrow?” I ask him straight out. “Is it because I told you I loved you? I didn’t know that would freak you out so much.”
He slams his bottle down, making me jump. “It’s not because of that, Anna.”
He doesn’t say anything else.
Okaaayyyy then.
“Right,” I say, grabbing a cereal box and pouring some into a bowl, then smothering it with milk.
Arrow stands, the stool scraping the floor as he slides it back. “I’ll be home late tonight.”
Of course you will.
He walks over to me and cups my face, his hands cold from the beer bottle. Lifting my chin, he kisses my lips. “I hope you like the car.”
“I do, thank you. You shouldn’t have though,” I tell him, not wanting to sound ungrateful but wanting him to know that I don’t expect anything like that from him or anyone else.
“Anything for my woman,” he says, kissing me one last time before disappearing.
Anything but the one thing I want.
Him.
* * *
The weekend rolls in and the club is having a party. Faye is running around organizing things, and I’m doing a grocery run with Tracker.
We walk down the aisle, me pushing the cart and him acting like a kid in a candy store.
“We need these,” he says, grabbing cartons of soft drinks. “And these.”
He “needs” everything.
When we walk down the next aisle, I grab a jumbo box of condoms. “What you need is these.”
I throw it into the cart.
He grins. “I’ll need more than that. Good idea, maybe I’ll get one of the women to walk around handing them out.” He pauses. “Naked.”
“You’re a pig,” I reply without any heat.
“Is Lana coming?” he asks, sounding a little unsure.
“No,” I reply. “I’m not going to subject her to this. She doesn’t trust men much as it is.”
“She’s a grown woman; stop babying her, Anna Bell.”
“I don’t baby her. She’s a gentle woman. She doesn’t need to know that you, who she likes, participates in orgies.”
“She likes me?” he asks with a grin. Of course that’s the only thing he heard.
I shrug, playing it off. “I told her you had a nice pierced cock and that’s all it took.”
He tugs on my ponytail. “Lana isn’t like that.”
“No, no, she isn’t,” I admit.
“We need those,” he says, pointing to some other crap that we definitely do not need.
“Tracker, I don’t think—”
He gives me his puppy-dog eyes.
“Fine.”
He cheers.
Eh, what did I care? I wasn’t paying for all this shit.
TWENTY-FIVE
THIS party wasn’t like any I’d ever been to before. The place is filled with rough-looking men—some good-looking, some not—and lots of women.
None of them were shy.
I glance down at my tight black high-waisted jeans and black crop top. The expanse of my stomach is showing but I am still probably the most covered-up woman in the room. My hair is down and big, I’d teased it for extra volume, and I’d given my eyes a smoky look. Still, I am dressed for clubbing and the other women are dressed for . . .
Well, sex.
When I saw Allie in what appeared to be her lingerie, I never imagined everyone else would be dressed like that too.
I cup my drink, lifting it to my mouth and forcing myself to take a sip.
“You okay?” Arrow asks, drawing me down to sit on his lap.
“Yeah, just taking everything in,” I tell him.
He kisses my nape. “You look beautiful, Anna, but if these men don’t stop staring at you like that, I think we’re gonna have a problem.”
I turn and smile at him. “You’re the one who has me. Let them look.”
“Do I?” he suddenly asks.
“Do you what?”
“Have you.”
I frown. “You know you do, Arrow, what’s this about?”
He licks his bottom lip. “Nothing. I need a drink. You want a refill?”
He’s already drunk, and I don’t think he needs another, but I don’t say anything. I haven’t seen him drink this much since we first met. I didn’t miss the worried look Rake sent me when he saw Arrow earlier either. Everyon
e knows something’s up with him, but we don’t know what. He won’t talk, and no one wants to push him, but something has to give.
He stands up with his hands on my waist. “Don’t move from here, okay? I’ll be right back.”
I nod and take his seat as he goes to the kitchen.
“Hey,” Faye says, dropping into the next seat. “Arrow said you needed some company. I feel so old; I’m seriously ready to go to sleep.”
“Who’s looking after Clover?” I ask, smiling.
“Dex’s mother,” she replies, wrinkling her nose.
“You don’t like her?”
She shrugs. “More like she doesn’t like me. I used to date Dex’s younger brother.”
My eyes flare. “That sounds like quite a story. The longer version, please.”
She laughs. “How long do you have?”
I look around. “Apparently all night.”
She smiles and tells me everything that happened—it was quite a story. We talk for another half an hour and then Faye leaves in search of Dex.
When Arrow still hasn’t returned, I’m about to go and find him when a man walks up to me. I look around for a familiar face but see no one. The man takes the seat next to me, eyes roaming my body, his mouth curved in a wicked grin.
“What’s a classy woman like you doing here?” he asks.
I don’t know what to say to that. The man is wearing a cut, so he’s obviously a member.
I sip my drink. “Just enjoying the party, waiting for my man to get back.”
He smirks. “If I was your man I wouldn’t leave you sitting alone at a party like this.”
I force a smile. “I was just going to find him actually, but nice to meet you.”
Lie, Anna.
He puts his hand on my back. “If you don’t find him, I’m sure I can show you a good time.”
I practically run to the kitchen.
When I’m passing the game room I bump into someone.
Janet.
I can’t seem to catch a break.
“Still here?” she sneers.
“Apparently so,” I muse. “Now get the fuck out of my way.”
She smirks. “It’s cute that you trust Arrow so much. If it were me, I wouldn’t even let him out of my sight.”
“Well, good thing I’m not you then.”
I don’t like the smug look on her face.
“You know, even with how much Arrow loved Mary, he wasn’t faithful to her. At all. He fucked other women all the time. So what chance do you have?”
Janet walks off, leaving me wide-eyed in shock.
Arrow wasn’t faithful to Mary, the woman he claims to have loved so much?
I don’t know how to process that right now.
I continue to the kitchen, where I find Arrow sitting there alone. He’s staring down into his drink like it holds all life’s answers. Then suddenly he lifts the glass and throws it across the room.
I jump.
“Arrow?” I say, stepping into the room. “What’s wrong?”
He expels a deep sigh, leaning forward and rubbing the back of his head in frustration. I stand in front of him and tilt his head back, framing his face with my hands. My thumbs gently caress his jaw as I speak. “You can talk to me, you know. About anything. I won’t judge you.”
“As soon as something good happens in my life, I somehow fuck it up, even if it was just a cruel twist of fuckin’ fate.”
I freeze. “What does that even mean?”
He pushes my hands away from his face and stands, looking hollow. “Go back into the room and lock the door, Anna.”
“What?” I ask, my face scrunching in confusion. “What are you going to do?”
“Just have a talk with the brothers, then come to bed. I just need a minute.”
“Okay,” I say, hesitantly leaving the kitchen, and retreating to our bedroom.
However, when he’s not back in the room after an hour, I start to worry. I didn’t like that look on his face, especially when I didn’t know why it was there. So I go in search of him. When I step back into the game room, I see him there, talking to Tracker and Rake.
The conversation looks intense.
A second later, a woman walks over to him and sits down on his lap. Like a spell is broken by her presence, the men all stop talking, looking lost in their own thoughts.
Arrow doesn’t push the woman off him. He just sits there drinking, looking extremely unhappy, and maybe even a little guilty.
Why would he feel guilt?
I know he felt guilt over Mary, but he’d been dealing with it. In my imagination I thought that maybe I’d been helping him deal with it somehow.
She kisses his neck.
He still doesn’t push her away.
My chest burns.
I guess a lot has changed in the last hour while I was sitting in the room like a good little girl waiting for Arrow to return.
Rake notices the woman kissing Arrow’s neck, his expression turning deadly.
“You gonna let some bitch touch you when you have my sister waiting for you?” he asks loudly, his fists clenching.
Tracker looks confused and a little pissed off. “Arrow? What the fuck, man?”
“What the fuck are you doing, Arrow?” Rake asks. “After everything? I will fuckin’ beat the shit out of you!”
“Don’t fuck up and lose her,” Tracker says. “You will regret it.”
Arrow laughs without humor. “I’ve already lost her, so what’s the point?”
Rake and Tracker exchange glances. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“What do you mean you’ve already lost her? You need to explain now, before I lose my shit,” Rake growls.
I step forward, revealing myself. “Yes, Arrow, what do you mean?”
Arrow glances up at me, guilt etched all over his face.
I look at the woman on his lap. “Get out of here.”
She looks to Arrow, who looks at her as if he’s only just realizing she’s there. Without a word, he pushes her off him.
Bit fucking late for that, isn’t it?
“What the fuck, Arrow?” I ask, my hands shaking with anger.
And pain.
And fucking confusion.
He doesn’t say anything, so I leave. I don’t want anyone to see how much this is affecting me.
I hear the men yelling at him. He calls my name, but too fucking bad. I don’t get him! He was fine before, even though I know something has been bothering him, then I find him with some woman sitting on his lap? Why didn’t he push her off? What the hell is going through his mind?
He’s hiding something.
I don’t need this shit.
I don’t need a man who isn’t sure of his feelings. He knows I love him. He knows.
Apparently it’s not enough.
I’m not enough.
Fine, then. I can’t stay here tonight—I pack a bag and head to Lana’s house.
I step out into the cool air and take in the scene, a shitload of motorcycles and a few men standing around and talking. I frown when I see no other than Slice, Talon’s friend. What is he doing here? I walk straight up to him, smirking at the almost nervous look that passes in his expression. He’s dressed in all black, no cut. Sneaking in maybe? What is he up to?
“You’re a little close to enemy headquarters, don’t you think?” I ask quietly so only he can hear.
His eyes narrow. “What do you want?”
“What are you doing here?” I ask him. “You better not plan to hurt anyone.”
His lips tighten. “What do you want?”
“I want a ride. I need to get out of here. You owe me, and don’t even think of taking me anywhere else other than where I want to go.”
I left my car keys in my room and I sure as hell wasn’t going back into the clubhouse.
He calls Talon.
Talon tells him to do it.
“Let me speak to Talon first, so I know you’re not going to mu
rder me or something,” I say.
He hands me the phone. “Hey, Talon.”
“You okay, Anna?” he asks, sounding concerned.
“I need a quick escape. What is Slice doing here, anyway?” I ask him.
“Never mind about that. You can trust him. I trust Slice with my life.”
“And what does that mean to me?”
I hear him sigh. “You and I both know we need to talk. Why don’t you let Slice bring you here?”
We do need to talk. I need answers.
“All right,” I tell him, then hang up the phone and give it back to Slice.
“Take me to Talon, please.”
He grits his teeth. “Get the fuck on my bike, princess.”
He says princess in such a mocking way I want to punch him. But I don’t, because I need him right now.
I get on his bike.
I could feel my heart breaking the whole way home.
* * *
I don’t like Slice.
He takes me straight back to their clubhouse. On the ride over I had time to think, to go over what happened and to try to figure out the puzzle that is Arrow’s recent behavior.
I realize that recently two things happened.
One was when Arrow spoke to Talon, and two was my telling him that I loved him.
I thought it had to do with the former, and hoped it wasn’t the latter.
Talon was somehow the key in all of this, and I was glad to be at his clubhouse, so I could demand some answers.
I needed them badly.
I slide off the back of Slice’s bike, eager to get away from him. Handing him his helmet, I mumble a thank-you. He nods his head to the door. “Talon is through there.”
He walks to the door and I follow behind him.
“Where is everyone?” I ask him, looking around the empty place.
“Out,” he replies, stopping at a door and knocking twice.
“Come in,” I hear Talon call. Slice opens the door, but only I walk in. Talon looks up, his white-blond hair falling across his forehead. He pushes it out of his face and flashes me a small smile.
“Nice to see you, Anna,” he says quietly. “Take a seat.”
I lower myself into the seat and stare at him expectantly.
He smirks. “Nothing to say? No kidnapping accusations?”
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