Divine Madness

by Harmon Cooper

  “Please, spare me,” he said, horror on his face as he took in what we had done to his fellow thieves.

  Lhandon approached him, calmly telling him to lower his blade.

  “You can go, the fight is over.”

  “Over? You killed everyone I know!” the man screamed, spit flying out of his mouth.

  “I’m sorry for what has transpired here,” Lhandon said firmly. “We were left with three options when we encountered you: One, we help you and you turn out to be telling the truth, offering us hospitality. Two, we help you, and you turn on us. And three, we don’t help you and you die. Unfortunately, this is the way of our world. It is not something that I like, and it is something that I would hope to change one day. So we’re letting you go. If you leave now, we won’t pursue you, nor will we retaliate. Please take what you need from the other thieves and if you respect them, please bury them, or do whatever it is that thieves do here on the Great Plateau when their companions pass.”

  “You’re letting me go?” the young man asked, slowly starting to lower his weapon.

  “Against my better judgment, yes.” Lhandon offered him a firm smile even though there were bodies still burning to Lhandon’s left, and one of the men, the one Roger had stabbed, was still twitching.

  “What’s your name?” the man asked still looking up at Lhandon with his beady eyes.

  “Lhandon, the Exalted One.”

  “My name is Tengis,” he said, finally sheathing his weapon.

  “So that is your choice?”

  Tengis nodded, an indecipherable look on his face. “Yes, th-thank you.”

  “I trust that you’ll handle their bodies as well? I’m able to perform a monk’s burial, if you would prefer that.”

  “No,” Tengis finally said, “they wouldn’t want that. Thank you for sparing my life.”

  “I want you to begin by visualizing this ‘switch,’ as you call it.”

  Lhandon sat in front of me, the light from Tashi’s fire casting shadows across his face. Roger was already tucked under the blanket, the bird’s form shivering.

  It was night now, our journey through the Great Plateau still showing no signs of ending. We hadn’t been able to find water, so we were making do with what we had, hoping to find a water supply in the morning. Both of our sunburns were gone courtesy of my healing power, and we had eaten too, the temperature quickly dropping.

  I took a deep breath in, imagining the air circulating all the way to the back of my head, and down to my stomach from there. I let it out slowly, and did the same thing again, repeating the cycle until I was in a trance-like space.

  “Let my voice guide you, Nick,” Lhandon said. “You’ve already done this before, so what we are trying to do now is to train you to turn it on faster, so that you are in control of your ability. Breathe over the next few minutes, and I will check back in soon.”

  I did as he instructed, ignoring the sound of my own breath humming inside my skull. I could suddenly hear my heartbeat, and after observing it, I labeled it and moved on. I continued to drill down, imagining my eyes spiraling toward an apex at the center of my forehead.

  I saw the switch again, and I reached out to it.

  I blinked my eyes open, first noticing that Tashi’s flames were frozen, that Lhandon was just starting to take a breath in.

  Keeping my eyes open, I visualized the switch floating before me.

  It took a moment, but eventually the switch pixelated into existence. I kept my focus on my breath as I mentally reached out and touched it.

  Tashi’s flames started flickering again, Roger moving under his blanket, Lhandon breathing softly, a smile forming on his face.

  “Well?”

  Rather than answer, I visualized the switch again, keeping my eyes open and mentally pressing it.

  Everything froze for a second time.

  Not knowing how long it would last, I stood, carefully walking in a circle around my friends, stopping at a spot on the other side of Tashi. I didn’t have to activate the switch this time, everything just came back to life all at once.

  Lhandon turned me. “You’re doing it, Nick!”

  I winced, feeling a sudden pain at the back of my head. I brought my hand to the spot, rubbing it for a moment.

  “Do you think you can do it again?”

  “I can try,” I said, taking a seat before him. I started breathing deeply, again visualizing the switch with my eyes open.

  I mentally reached out and…

  Everything froze again, but this time my head started pounding, and it wasn’t more than a few seconds before everything returned to its normal pace.

  I brought my hands to my temples, massaging them as Lhandon looked me over. “That much pain, huh?”

  “It hasn’t done that before,” I told him. I felt the urge to lay down, which I did, the sand beneath me cool to the touch. It was amazing how quickly the temperature had shifted. I looked up at Lhandon. “Sorry, I just felt like resting for a moment.”

  “No, it’s okay, and I think this is something to be expected. You’re trying to control a power that allows you to essentially do anything.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Your power gives you the illusion of speed, it allows you to save someone by slowing whatever is about to kill them, it allows you to pause a situation so you can think it over. Those are just a few of the examples that come to mind. I’m sure there are plenty of other ways to utilize it. My point is, I don’t know what power your other two friends possess, or if the one who fell into the Sea of Lhasa is alive. But your power is likely the strongest. Even if Bobby is very smart, and Evan has incredible aim, you can still stop time. And I wonder if there are extensions of this power, once you master controlling it. Can you reverse time, for example?” He shook his head. “The possibilities are endless. But don’t listen to me, I am but a monk pondering the nature of reality. I guess that’s what monks traditionally do, right?”

  I smirked. “I don’t know; you are the first monk that I’ve ever been friends with.”

  “And you are the first person from Massachusetts that I have ever been friends with,” Lhandon said. “Speaking of which, do you miss your world? You don’t talk about it very often, at least not anymore.”

  I laid on my back, looking up at the stars.

  There were hundreds of them, and while I was never much into astronomy, I could tell that they were arranged differently than the stars back home.

  “I don’t know the answer to that question,” I finally told him. “Or rather, I wish I had a better answer for you. We’re generally so engaged with things here that I don’t think about it much.”

  “What about your parents? I’m assuming you have parents.”

  “I do; they live in Florida.”

  “Florida?” Lhandon pondered this word for a moment. “The names of the places in your world are so interesting to me. Do you have others?”

  “You mean other state names?”

  “Sure, if that’s what you call them.”

  “Um, so I guess some of them have strange-sounding names if you really think about it. Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Texas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Wyoming. I could go on.”

  “Please, do.”

  “Tennessee, Hawaii, Alaska, Minnesota, Mississippi.”

  “Minnesota, that sounds like a pretty name for a girl. Mississippi sounds like someone speaking too quickly and missing a word in whatever they’re trying to say.”

  “I never thought of it that way,” I told him.

  “I wonder what it would be like if I visited your world. What do you think I would discover?”

  I imagined Lhandon walking through Times Square, the advertisements all around him, the buildings stretching up to the sky, life stacked on top of life. I thought of him in a car, driving through the countryside of Maine, staring out the window, marveling at the vehicle’s speed. I pictured him on a train in Boston, the doors opening and people from all walks of life filing in.
I then imagined him on an airplane, flying from one coast to the other.

  “I really don’t know how you would react, but I can tell you this, there’s a lot less magic in our world. So that may disappoint you.”

  “Is there? Or did this magic just never touch your life?”

  I considered this for a moment, the light from Tashi’s flames causing shadows to advance on the sand. “I guess I really don’t know the answer to that question. Perhaps if you came to my world, you would be the one to find the magic. Perhaps it is there somewhere, just outside of my realm of comfort and familiarity. Does that make sense?”

  “It makes total sense,” Lhandon said. “Come, I believe it is time that we retire for the evening. If we can make it to Sarpang tomorrow, we won’t have to sleep under the stars for another night—a great goal, if you ask me. Not that I mind being in nature, it’s only that I’m really working on the Path of the Divine at the moment, and while this has given me plenty of time for contemplation, I need to be able to write things down, to continue the restructuring. But maybe I’m being selfish in saying that, maybe I should just enjoy what we have here.”

  “Severe sunburns and the possibility of being robbed or attacked at every corner by thieves and demons?” I chuckled. “I’m with you. The sooner we are out of the Great Plateau, the better.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three: Flatulence of a Dragon

  I was glad to wake up in the morning, the ground cold but my body warm.

  “Hopefully, we will reach there today,” Tashi said, once he noticed I was awake. “If not today, then tomorrow. But soon. It can’t be much longer now.”

  I took a look around, noticing that we weren’t far from the spot where the sand ended, where it turned into rock.

  Lhandon and I each had a gourd and a half of water left, which really wasn’t a lot considering the heat of the day. Hopefully, the rocky terrain we were about to shift to would provide us with liquid nourishment.

  Once Lhandon was up, we did a quick meditation and ate some dried meat, ready to get started.

  As we walked, Roger occasionally took to the air, letting us know that the terrain really was changing, that he would have to fly even higher to get a better view. Eventually, he located a canyon that cut through the rocky hills, one that would bring us to higher ground without forcing us to scale the rock face.

  I felt exuberant, ready to be done with the Great Plateau and begin the next leg of our journey.

  It had been Roger that had told us of the rumors going around the bird community about an outsider who had appeared on the Island Kingdom of Jonang, most likely Hugo. And with Lhandon’s assumption that the Exonerated One’s reincarnation would be there, it made sense to go there next.

  As we walked, I recalled that the five Immortals established the kingdoms of this world, Thupten the Corrupted founding the Kingdom of Lhasa; Misake the Whisperer establishing the Kingdom of Rinpunga; Padme Lung the Virtuous, the Kingdom of Paro; Kenzo the Written, the Island Kingdom of Tsirang; and Ganbold the Strong establishing the Island Kingdom of Jonang.

  I was interested to see how different the new kingdom would be, what the people would be like, and which path the citizens predominantly practiced. It would also be interesting to change environments, from one harsh climate to another.

  We started our way up a sloped pass at the same time the sun reached its apex in the sky, both Lhandon and I sweating profusely.

  “Any sign of water?” Lhandon asked as he finished what was left in one of his gourds.

  “I’ll make another check,” Roger said, lifting up into the air.

  “He’s checking again,” Lhandon translated.

  “You’re getting better,” I told him with a smile.

  Eventually, Roger came back down, landing on the ground before us. He hopped around, flapping his wings for a moment.

  “What is it?”

  “I saw a waterfall, just about…” he considered the distance. “Maybe a thirty-minute walk from here? You can fill up there.”

  “Good call,” I told him as we took the path that led to the waterfall Roger had seen.

  There were a few peaks now, the waterfall likely caused by their snowfall.

  I was amazed at how far we had come, especially when I turned back to see the flatness of the Great Plateau with its epic sand dunes.

  Just two days ago, I couldn’t see these mountains, leaving me to believe that we had been walking in an uphill slant the entire time, albeit a very gradual one.

  We came to the waterfall in the shade of a great cliff and I practically dove in.

  I drank as much as I could, Lhandon doing the same and Roger also drinking his fair share. We filled our gourds, and were just about to continue along the pass when Tashi moved through the waterfall and came back out, steam rising off his form as his fire reignited.

  “There’s something in here,” Tashi said, excitement in his molten eyes. “Call it the treasure hunter in me, but I had the feeling I should check behind the waterfall. I believe there’s something behind there that you will want to see, Exalted One.”

  “Auspicious.” Lhandon waded into the water until he reached the fall. He pulled himself up onto a ledge, the monk now drenched. I did the same. Roger simply flew through the water, Tashi following after him, steam rising off the fire spirit’s form yet again.

  “Oh my,” Lhandon said as his eyes fell upon the entrance to a cave, and a series of characters etched into the wall. The space was small and continually spritzed by the mist from the waterfall.

  “What does it say?” I asked.

  “Ahem. Never knowing any physical discomfort, hoping to become an Immortal in colored robes, sending your disciples to the Underworld, I feel sad to set eyes upon you,” he read. “Be on your way, Ink in the Sea! Go! Give your discourses and initiations, gather around your vow violators, sew your seeds of disaster, cultivate your plants of delusion, grow your shoots of passion, ripen your karma, carry the sins of old women, fulfill your duty to your dependents, and fill your treasure houses with riches.”

  “Yeah, I’m not following,” I started to say.

  “That’s not all of it,” Lhandon said, clearing his throat. “Hereby a cave without a door or pillar, sits Drukpa Kunley with the dirty mouth, who babbles nonsense wherever he is. I feel great pity for you! Go! Wander the world without purpose; destroy the faith of the people you meet; carry your wealth on your penis head; offer your secret substance to wars; arouse the dogs with your door knocking; and break the ribs of the eldest birches; pick your nits and toss them like stones behind you; break the hip bones of your women; and sun-bathe wherever you wish!”

  “You lost me at penis head,” Roger said with a cackle.

  “For some reason, that’s not helping me better understand what I’m looking at here,” I told Lhandon.

  “It can’t be,” Lhandon glanced at Tashi. “Do you know who this is? Are you familiar with Drukpa Kunley?”

  Tashi shook his head.

  “Yes, perhaps he was after your time. Drukpa is possibly the most famous nalropa, divine madman, who ever lived in the Kingdom of Lhasa. And gentlemen, what we have just found here is his burial site.”

  “So your plan is to just go in there?” Roger asked. “You aren’t worried it’s a trap or something?”

  “He wants to know if we are going in there,” I told Lhandon.

  “Why, of course we are! But first, we should change to our cleanest robes. It is important not to desecrate the site by going inside in our soiled, wet robes.”

  “My robes aren’t soiled,” I told Lhandon, even though I was already in the process of taking my bag off to change clothing.

  “You should clean your feathers too,” Tashi suggested to Roger.

  “Okay, Campfire, how about you worry about keeping your flames clean, and I’ll worry about keeping my feathers perfectly ruffled,” Roger said. “Also, Nick, I need help getting out of my fur vest. It’s warmer now, and I definitely don’t want to wear this
in there.”

  “Sure,” I told him. “Just let me finish changing robes first.”

  Once I was changed, I left my white robes hanging from a rock to dry, Lhandon doing the same.

  I helped Roger out of his fur vest, the sound of the waterfall all around us, and I was just about to leave it on the rocks when he told me just to put it in my bag instead, that he didn’t care if it was wet.

  “As you wish,” I told the bird as I turned back to Lhandon. “And you’re sure this is safe?”

  “I don’t know if it’s safe or not,” Lhandon admitted, “but I believe that it is something that we should do, that it will not only increase our karma, but there may be something down there that is important to our journey.”

  Tashi led the way, the cave walls instantly illuminated and showing images of various sexual acts, demons consorting with mortals, threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes and then some, heads coming out of body parts, veiny penises painting the air with jism, sexy spirits with backs covered in breasts.

  Roger whistled. “This looks like some of the stuff the white birds were into back in Dornod!”

  “Is that why you were sore that one night?” I asked him.

  “I told you that I didn’t want to talk about that night,” Roger groaned. “But to answer your question: perhaps.”

  “It might look like a bunch of indecent, pornographic images,” Lhandon said, “but those that practice the Path of Divine Madness don’t see them that way; all the images have a story behind them. For example, this man having his…”

  “His ass?” I asked.

  “Yes, his rear end violated by a demon, this is a classic nalropa image cautioning against cheating someone for economic gain.”

  “Is that what you get from that?” Roger asked. “Because I’m getting something else.”

  “I agree with Roger. Is this really what you’re taking from that image?” I asked Lhandon.

  “I am no expert, but I did read up on it some. Remember, I was at the Monastery of the Exonerated One for a very long time, and I was never allowed to advance, which on one hand was bad, but on the other hand was good, as I was never given much responsibility. And while you may recall that I led you to your room the first night you showed up there, that was the only thing I did that entire day, aside from helping out a bit in the kitchen, and reading the collected stories of this guy,” he said, motioning before him. “Drukpa Kunley.”