So Damn Beautiful (A New Adult Romance)

by L. J. Kennedy

  I knocked on the door, hoping he’d be home. I’d texted him about an hour ago but hadn’t heard back, so I was taking my chances by being there. But the need felt urgent. It wasn’t something that I could relay in a polite email or over the phone or two weeks from now at some swanky SoHo restaurant. It was now or never.

  Thankfully, he opened the door. He smiled when he saw me and swept me into his arms. “So sorry I didn’t get a chance to text back. My phone died when I was in my car.” He stepped back, a slight frown on his face. “Uh, do you have a change of clothes or something? You’re early, so I’m assuming you’re not wearing that tonight.”

  I looked down at my beige sweater and dark jeans, confused. “I’m early? Should I be wearing something else?”

  He broke out into a grin. “You’re such a joker, Annie. Remember I told you we have reservations for wd~50 tonight? My parents just got in from JFK ten minutes ago, and they’re dying to meet you. They’re having cocktails in the living room right now.”

  I felt my heart drop about twenty stories. I wanted to smack myself. I’d completely forgotten that Harrison’s parents were in from Europe and tonight was when I was supposed to meet them. In the tumult of the last few days, the state of my relationship with Harrison had definitely taken a backseat to everything else, and my calendar was just as discombobulated as my state of mind.

  Perfect timing, Annie, I scolded myself.

  Harrison could tell from the look on my face that something was awry. “Uh-oh. Do you want to tell me something, Annie?” he said nervously.

  I shuffled my feet slightly. “There’s no easy way to say this, Harrison.”

  He sighed miserably. “Just spill the beans, because I know it’s bad news. I—” At that moment, his eyes dropped to my hips. And they stayed there. I looked down. My sweater had ridden up slightly over my waist when I’d taken off my jacket in Harrison’s stifling foyer.

  “Annie, is that new?” He sounded totally befuddled.

  Harrison was staring right at my tattoo.

  I took a deep breath. If we did it the usual way, I’d probably end up going to dinner with Harrison and his parents, smiling despondently through the whole thing. Might as well dive into the deep end when the chance was there.

  “Yeah, it’s new . . . and Chase Adams designed it.”

  I could see his nostrils flaring. When he spoke, he struggled to maintain his composure. “What were you doing with that guy? Didn’t we already agree you wouldn’t see him again?”

  “This happened . . . before that.”

  Harrison looked like I’d slapped him in the face. “You need to tell me the truth, Annie. What’s going on? Are you two . . . together?”

  Sadness rose into my chest. Harrison looked so disconsolate. I would have given anything to bring his smile back, but I knew it was too late. “I’m so sorry, Harrison. I didn’t mean to lie to you. I was genuinely confused.” I paused and stared down at my feet. “I’ve been such an idiot, and I hope you’ll forgive me for any pain I’ve caused. You’re everything a girl could possibly want, but I can’t ignore my feelings for Chase. Not anymore.”

  “So, let me get this straight. You cheated on me with that loser?”

  Tears came to my eyes. “Yes, I cheated on you.” I drew my shoulders up tightly, expecting the full impact of his anger. “I feel terrible about it. You don’t deserve this, Harrison, and I really do care about you, but it’s clear that things can’t continue between us.”

  He made a sound between a laugh and a sob. “If you cared about me, Annie, you wouldn’t be trying to weasel your way out of this. You wouldn’t be trying to deflect responsibility.”

  His voice was measured and level. I had known he would be angry, but the level of restraint in his anger and the way his lips were pursed frightened me.

  “I don’t have anything to give you, Harrison,” I said. “Nothing but my friendship.”

  “After everything that’s happened between us, how can you say that?” His voice began to rise. “I don’t want to be your friend!”

  That’s when I started to feel somewhat defensive. “Harrison, I know you’re upset, but we’ve only been dating a few weeks! I mean, you’re the one who sprung the whole relationship thing on me. I always told you I wanted to take it slow.”

  “While you were fucking Chase Adams?” He laughed contemptuously. “Your false modesty is starting to make a hell of a lot of sense now.”

  I frowned. “Harrison, I tried to tell you I was ambivalent, but you were so busy making plans for us that you barely even listened to me!”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. You’re not a child, Annie. You’re a grown woman—so act like one.”

  It was obvious that talking to Harrison when he was in such a livid state wouldn’t make matters better. I started to put my coat on. “I have to go now, but if you’re willing to talk about this more calmly in the future, I’m available,” I said. “I just don’t know what more there is to say now.”

  Harrison was about to say something, but at that point, his parents—or the man and woman I assumed to be his parents—sauntered into the room. The woman was in her mid- to late forties and was beautiful in a cool and composed sort of way. Her eyes were the same blue as Harrison’s, and her dark brown hair was swept into a fashionable coif. She was wearing a thin cashmere sweater and black pencil pants. The man next to her was slightly older, with a bald head and a slight paunch, but his expensive suit and affable smile made it clear where Harrison got his charm.

  “Harrison, you were gone for so long that we wanted to see who was at the front door,” the woman said. When she spotted me, she smiled so that I could see the perfect pearls that were her teeth. She came forward and kissed me on both cheeks. Her perfume smelled like lilies of the valley.

  “You must be Annie. Oh, darling, we’ve heard so much about you!” she cooed, stepping back to appraise me. “You’re just as beautiful as Harrison said you are. You know, this is a special occasion. It's not every day we get to meet Harrison’s girlfriends, so I knew right off the bat you had to be pretty extraordinary.”

  I gave her a forced smile. “Thanks, Mrs. Waters,” I said quietly.

  She waved a diamond ring–clad hand. “Please, call me Sharon.” She gave me the once-over. “My dear, you aren’t dressed for dinner! Should we head back to your place beforehand so you can put on something a little more apropos?”

  “Mom . . . ,” Harrison said. “I don’t think the plans I had for tonight are going to happen as I’d hoped.”

  “Why not?” His mother looked completely baffled, but all I could do was stand there mutely. This had to be the most awkward moment of my life, and I figured the best thing for me to do was to say nothing that would intensify that awkwardness.

  Harrison’s father looked at me, then at Harrison, and in those moments, something seemed to register for him. “Sharon, why don’t we head back into the living room? I could use another martini before dinner.” He pulled her shoulder gently toward the back of the house.

  Sharon began to protest, but when she looked at Harrison and me again, the scales seemed to drop. “Oh . . . ,” she breathed, sucking in her cheeks. “I suppose I could use another drink myself.” She nodded somewhat stiffly at me and took her husband’s arm, hurrying off to the living room without a backward glance.

  Harrison and I were left in silence together. “You have no idea what it took for my parents to change their plans and come home . . . and they did it just for me, for you. Now I look like a complete jackass.” He glared at me. “I can’t believe you’d do this, throw everything we have away, for Chase Adams?” He scratched his head in disbelief.

  I looked at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. “I am so sorry for hurting you, Harrison. And I feel like being here is just making things worse, so I’m going to leave now.”

  I slipped out the door before he could stop me, and I could feel the tears burning my eyes as I rushed down the steps of the Sigma Phi Kappa hous
e.

  “You’re making an enormous mistake, Annie!” I heard him bellow behind me. “You’re going to realize it soon, and then you’ll come crawling back to me!”

  I ignored him and practically ran all the way down Bleecker Street. When I stopped, I was panting and struggling to catch my breath. I was rattled by how ungracious Harrison had been, but the relief of ending things far outweighed the regret I’d been holding for too long.

  Besides, nobody ever said breakups were easy.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  I wasn’t in the mood to go right back to my dorm after my altercation with Harrison. Kendra and Yannis had decided to go back to the Hamptons (“Did you know NYU classes get live-streamed? This means we can catch up on our schoolwork right alongside our foreplay!” she’d told me excitedly), so I texted Chase and asked him if he’d be willing to come by. He didn’t hesitate. We ended up taking a walk along the East River, since I had a lot of nervous energy I wanted to burn off.

  “Don’t worry about that guy, Annie,” Chase consoled me. “He’s barely even a real person. He wears enough hair gel for me to make another Harrison. And I bet the gel homunculus would be a lot more fun.”

  “He’s a nice guy, Chase,” I insisted. “I don’t expect you to agree with me, but I still wish I could’ve ended things in a better way.” I breathed, and a puff of white frost came out of my mouth. “I wish I hadn’t screwed up everything so royally.”

  He shrugged. “Bridges burn, babe.” He started to say something else, but at that moment, a sleek black SUV screeched up next to us. Another car was right behind it.

  “What the . . . ,” Chase started.

  A group of burly men, about five or six total, lumbered out of each of the cars. It was dark, but the headlights were blinding, and I had to shade my eyes with one gloved hand. For a moment, all I could see were their silhouettes, massive and ominous. My first instinct was to run, but Chase’s body against mine was warm and reassuring, and I could feel him holding me in place. “Let’s not get all fight-and-flight, Annie,” he whispered, rubbing my hand gently.

  That was when I recognized one of the men who was approaching us. It was Harrison. But it was a Harrison unlike the one I’d known and dated. He was wearing a long leather coat, and his eyes were blazing with fury, his lips twisted into a grimace that almost reminded me of Elsie. I could feel my gut churning and contracting.

  “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Harrison said. Even his voice sounded different.

  Chase stood in front of me, presumably to shield me from imminent danger. I could tell that Harrison and his buddies weren’t simply out and about for a late-night stroll. They had probably been tracking us for a while. I glanced around quickly. There weren’t any other people in sight; otherwise I might have been tempted to scream for help. Despite the fact that nothing had happened yet, I had a bad feeling about this. Harrison didn’t look like his normal, down-to-earth, happy-go-lucky self. His face was hard and cruel, and the fact that he had five friends in tow made this feel almost like a scene in a mobster movie. I’d heard of people getting tossed into the East River by crooks and hoodlums . . . but frat boys? I told myself there was nothing to fear, but my heart was racing.

  “We could be asking you the same thing,” Chase shot back. “But I guess circus acts always travel in numbers.”

  I groaned at Chase’s audacity. We were clearly outnumbered, and I wanted us to get out of this in one piece. As Harrison’s friends took swigs out of paper bags and closed in on us, I could tell that Harrison had probably rallied the troops after a couple hours of steady chugging, from the looks of it. I knew what stupid drunk boys were capable of, and I didn’t want Chase and me to be there when shit got real.

  Harrison sauntered over to us, until he was close enough for me to smell the liquor on his breath. But his voice was steady when he spoke. “I don’t like the way you talk, man,” he said, getting up in Chase’s face.

  “And I don’t like sore losers, so why don’t you just back the fuck off and call off your bitches while you’re at it?”

  I tried to intervene. I could tell Harrison was just moments away from clocking Chase, but perhaps reason would work on him. “Harrison, I don’t want any trouble here,” I said. “I thought I made it very clear—”

  He looked at me, and the expression on his face made my blood feel like ice in my veins. “Shut the fuck up, Annie! Just shut up!” he shouted.

  “Don’t you talk to my girl that way!” Chase growled.

  “Now he’s calling that skank his girl,” someone said, as if it were the most hysterical thing in the world. I recognized the obnoxious nasal twang of Chip’s voice.

  I could see Chase getting angrier and angrier, so I grabbed his arm and whispered, “Let’s not let them get the better of us, okay? I mean, if something happens, I don’t want you to be taken back down to the station.”

  “Why don’t you let me worry about this, Annie?” he whispered back, then turned to Harrison, opening his arms as if to ask what he was waiting for. “Seriously, man, if you wanna do something, do it. But leave Annie out of this.”

  But Harrison’s next words were for me and me alone. “I thought I saw something special in you when we met. I thought you were a good woman. I had no idea you were just like all the rest—just another fucking tramp. But you’re worse than the others.” He laughed. “You’re just a pretty face with some grandiose ideas, but I should have listened to my cousin. You’re beneath me. Because you’re nothing. You’re literally nobody. When I stop to think about it, Annie, I’m glad I never fucked you. Who knows what kind of diseases you two carry?”

  His brothers began to laugh and shout out nasty remarks, and I could see Chase’s face contorted with rage. I could barely believe Harrison was talking to me this way. I knew he had every right to be angry, but I had never thought he could be so malicious. Nobody had ever spoken to me in such a degrading manner. As Harrison looked at me, pure hatred in his bloodshot eyes, I was reluctant to think of what he and his friends were capable of in that moment.

  “That’s it, man—you’ve gone too far,” Chase said, and threw a punch that caught Harrison on his left cheek. He staggered back momentarily, and everything felt like it was happening in slow motion, like time was being stretched out into one horrifying tableau of words and waiting. But then those moments compressed and all I could see was a blur of fists and feet, pummeling and kicking at Chase, who was now down on the ground.

  “Stop it, Harrison!” I screamed, attempting to barrel through the thick wall of bodies. “Can’t you see you’re hurting him?”

  But he just pushed me away. “That’s the idea, you whore!”

  “Five guys on one?” I screamed. “That’s so fucking courageous, Harrison.”

  He turned to me. “Courageous? You’re one to talk, bitch! I gave you everything; I gave you my heart. And you repaid me by screwing around on me. What did you think—that I was a nice enough guy I’d just lie down and take it? That you could come to me with big eyes and a sorry face and I would be cool?” He actually cracked his knuckles. “I expect a certain level of respect, Annie. Nobody takes my girl and makes me look like some kind of chump.”

  “Oh yeah? ’Cause from where I’m standing, someone’s doing a pretty good job of it, fucknuts.”

  I whirled around, and, amazingly, there was Kyle, an impish grin on his face, skateboard in hand. And with him were at least a dozen other skateboarders. Most of them were teenagers, but they had the worn looks, hard gazes, and preternaturally glittering eyes of kids who’d been through the school of hard knocks with flying colors. Unbelievably, I was relieved to see them.

  Kyle looked at me and grinned. “Hey, Annie.”

  Harrison’s friends stopped pummeling Chase when they noticed the fleet of skateboarders, who were tightening around us. I quickly ran over to Chase, who was groaning and clutching his belly. He had several cuts on his face, as well as puffy red spots that I knew were going to become ugly
bruises. I winced as I touched him lightly. “Are you okay?” I was close to tears.

  He nodded. “These guys are pussies. Not even wearing steel-toed shoes. Believe me, I’ve seen worse,” he grumbled.

  Chase didn’t seem surprised to see Kyle, who was circling Harrison with his skateboard.

  “Yo, man, what are you and your frat-boy party doing out here after dark? Shouldn’t you be shoving roofies into drinks right about now or something?” Kyle said, almost good-naturedly.

  “Look, we don’t want any trouble,” Harrison replied, putting his hands up. “We were just about to leave.”

  “What the fuck, man?” Chip shouted. “They’re just a bunch of kids. We’re not going anywhere!”

  “A bunch of kids? I’m offended, gentlemen,” Kyle said, putting his palm on his chest mockingly. Before Harrison could say anything, Kyle took his skateboard and ran over to Harrison’s car. His friends followed suit and started to jump on both cars. I could hear the crash of glass as windows shattered, and the crunch from the force of skateboards slamming into metal.

  Harrison gave out a tortured shriek. “No, no! Stop it!”

  But Kyle and his friends were on a destruction spree. “Nobody fucks with my brother, yo!” he yelled, raising his skateboard above his head and bringing it down on the roof of Harrison’s car.

  Harrison’s friends began to lunge for the skaters, but they quickly backed off, seeing that they were outnumbered and that Kyle and his friends were clearly not afraid to get a little dirty.

  “Chase, is Kyle going to be okay? Should we call the cops?” I said.

  Chase shook his head, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Nah, I wouldn’t worry. These kids are fucking feral.”

  I frowned. “They’re not going to hurt Harrison and his friends too bad, are they?” At this point, I had little sympathy for Harrison, but all the same, the idea of a bloody rumble made my stomach curdle.

  “No, it’s not about the fight. It’s more about intimidating these entitled dickwads,” Chase said, throwing his arm around me in a gesture of protection and nearly doubling over in the process. Given his state, I felt like I should be the one protecting him.