Girls You Marry

by Tina Gallagher

  Jeff resumed his tour when I neglected to react to the fact that Dan’s room is practically next to mine.

  While the house is large, it’s also comfortable and has a homey feel that’s attractive. In fact, if Dan didn’t live here, I might even relax and pretend I’m on vacation, like Jodi suggested. But he is, so I definitely won’t.

  “The gym is in the basement, which is where I’m assuming Dan and Lexi are. Any questions before we head down there?”

  Yes. How did I get myself into this?

  “Um, no. I don’t think so.” I smiled, trying to hide the tension pulsing through my body. “But if you find me wandering around looking confused, please offer a helping hand. This place is huge.”

  “You’ll have it down in no time. It’s not that big.”

  My silly thoughts must have shown on my face, because Jeff laughed and said, “What’s so funny?”

  I shook my head and chuckled. “The last time I saw Dan, he was living in an attic apartment with three other guys.” I smiled at the memory. “They didn’t even have beds. They slept in hammocks.”

  “Dan’s come a long way since then. Remember that.”

  I chose to ignore the message I assume he was trying to send me.

  “How about showing me that gym?”

  Chapter Three

  It was a complete letdown. My heart had pounded triple time all the way from the kitchen, through the family room, across the hallway, down the stairs, and finally into the gym.

  I’d expected Dan to be there, but he was nowhere to be found, and neither was Lexi. Aside from the tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment, the large room was empty. Jodi hadn’t been misinformed. To say Dan’s gym was well stocked would be a gross understatement. He possessed everything I would have brought, plus a few things I’d love to have.

  “I talked to Jodi, and I think everything you’ll need is here. But if there’s something missing, just let me know,” Jeff said.

  “No, it looks great. This place is a physical therapist’s dream.”

  “I’m glad you think so.”

  The voice came from behind me. It was slightly deeper than I remembered, but unmistakable just the same. My traitorous body broke out in goosebumps at the mere sound of his husky timbre. I slowly turned to face him, hoping my erect nipples weren’t obvious through my T-shirt.

  “Hello Bri.” His warm smile exposed twin dimples on either side of his face.

  My heart beat so loudly, I was sure he could hear it all the way across the room. Between that and my unruly nipples, I’m giving the wrong impression. To look at my flustered appearance, you’d think I was still attracted to this man, which of course is ridiculous. Not that he isn’t attractive, because he is. No one could deny that. Dan is blessed with the kind of All-American good looks that make women fall for him left and right.

  Except for me, of course. All my feelings for him died when I found out exactly the kind of man he is, which is definitely not the kind for me. My thoughts finally slowed, making me aware of the fact that both Dan and Jeff were staring at me.

  Jeff turned on his heel and headed for the door. He slapped Dan’s shoulder as he passed. “You have your work cut out for you, Buddy.”

  I heard his deep chuckle as he left the room.

  Dan turned to face me once again with faint amusement lurking in his remarkable eyes. A deep sea green and fringed with lashes so long they could get tangled, his eyes had haunted my dreams for years. And here they are now watching me, reading my every expression. If only I had a poker face, things would be just fine. But unfortunately, my every thought and feeling can be read just by looking at my face.

  Needing to take control of the situation, I mustered up all the hostility I could. “What did he mean by that?”

  His amusement was replaced by a look I could only describe as earnest. He glanced down at his leg, which was encased in a brace from just above the ankle to mid-thigh, then met my eyes again.

  “Are you saying this is going to be easy?”

  I thought I detected a double entendre, but let it slide. “From what I read in your file, you’re in for the ordeal of your life if you want to be one hundred percent for spring training next year.”

  His expression sobered. “But you think it’s doable?”

  I let myself relax and shift into professional mode. “With a lot of time and effort, yes, I think it’s doable. But I’m warning you right now, it isn’t going to be easy. You’re gonna have to work your butt off.”

  “I’m willing to do anything.”

  He looked sincere enough, but his expression hinted that he was speaking about more than therapy. Then again, maybe I’m just being overly sensitive. Dan and I happened a long time ago. He could have any woman he wants, why would he bother with me?

  “Good. Then we shouldn’t have any problems.” I moved to get a chair from the edge of the room. Placing it next to Dan, I gestured for him to sit down. Once he was situated, I took his crutches and leaned them against a weight bench, then knelt down beside him. “I want to examine it myself before we start anything.” I removed the brace and set it on the floor.

  Why the condition of Dan’s leg surprised me is beyond my comprehension. I read his file, so I should have been prepared. Even if I hadn’t been, I shouldn’t feel nauseous just looking at it. After all, I am a professional. I see this sort of thing every day.

  Even though nearly a month had passed since the accident and corresponding surgery, the entire outside of his leg was still tinged a sickly greenish-yellow color. My eyes trailed the kaleidoscope from his anklebone up to his knee, where I studied the fresh pink scar that surrounded the kneecap, to his thigh where the color disappeared into gray gym shorts. I quickly averted my gaze, but not before registering the fact that he was dressing to the left today.

  “The scar looks good,” I said, attempting to distract myself from the impressive package between his legs.

  “I guess.”

  “What didn’t you like about Rawlins?” I asked.

  When he didn’t answer, I looked up then wished I hadn’t. His green gaze was devouring me. It was the same look that had melted the heart of a too-trusting college sophomore. At the time, it made me feel desirable and special and loved. Now it just annoyed me because I knew it was fake.

  He must have read my every thought, because his gaze turned serious, and a little sad. “Do you still hate me?” His voice was a mere whisper.

  That wasn’t what I’d been expecting to come out of his mouth. I stood, eager to put some distance between us. “Why would I hate you?” I tried to sound carefree and airy, but even to my own ears, I sounded shrill.

  “That’s what I thought,” he said around a sad chuckle.

  Wanting to end this conversation, needing to end it, I repeated my question. “Why didn’t you like Tim Rawlins?”

  “The man is a control freak.”

  “Control freak?”

  “He and I didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things.” My arched brow asked its own question. “Like if I told him I couldn’t do something, he’d insist I could.”

  “It’s a therapist’s job to push his patient.”

  “I realize that, but I know my limits, he doesn’t.” He ran a hand through his thick blond hair, which I couldn’t help but notice had darkened a few shades since college. “Look, I’m not a wimp. I have a relatively high tolerance for pain. Hell, I can’t count the number of times I played with a sprain or strain, or even a break, but some of the things the guy wanted me to do, I just couldn’t.”

  “Did you tell him that?”

  Dan nodded and flashed a crooked grin. “In no uncertain terms.”

  I couldn’t hide my smirk. “I can only imagine.”

  His expression turned earnest. “We also had scheduling problems.”

  “Scheduling problems? Didn’t he stay here?”

  “Yeah, and he wanted to work constantly.”

  “And you had a problem with that?”
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  “Not all the time, no. If I didn’t have other commitments, I had no problem working all day. But if I had something more important scheduled, I wanted time to do it.”

  I had to bite back my sharp retort. I could just imagine what would be more important. I should’ve known I’d have to work around his sex life. “I thought you wanted to be ready for spring training.”

  “I do.” His gaze was unwavering.

  “Then you’re gonna have to decide whether or not you can fit therapy into your social calendar. If you can’t, let me know right now. I’m here to work. If you’re not willing to give me your all, we’d both be wasting our time.”

  “Why are you getting so pissed?”

  “I’m not pissed. I just want to set some ground rules. I’m willing to do whatever I have to in order to get you back on your feet, but I can’t do the work for you. And, in order to do the work, you have to be here, not running around with your little groupies.” Even as the last sentence was spilling out, I wanted to suck it back in. But I couldn’t, and I imagined it floating over my head like a comic strip balloon.

  The look on his face was a cross between amusement and aggravation. He opened is mouth to speak, but before any words emerged, another voice interrupted.

  “Can I go shopping with Mrs. Evans?” Lexi said.

  “Did she invite you?” Dan asked.

  Lexi’s head bobbed up and down. “She said we could stop at McDonald’s on the way home.”

  “Well, don’t let me to stand in the way of a trip to McDonald’s.”

  Lexi’s smile encompassed her entire face. She wrapped her skinny arms around Dan’s neck and squeezed, then pulled back, kissed him on the cheek, and said, “You’re the best daddy in the whole world.”

  I couldn’t hide my reaction to that if I tried. My mouth was still dragging on the floor after Lexi bounded out of the room. I remember her speaking to me before she left, and I’m sure I replied, but I couldn’t begin to say what the exchange was about. The word “Daddy” kept ringing through my head.

  “You okay?” Dan’s deep voice brought me back to the here-and-now.

  “I didn’t know she was yours.”

  “I was about to explain that she was the reason for any scheduling problems.” I nodded in acknowledgement of his words, not knowing what else to do. “I coach her softball team and the games are every Tuesday and Thursday at 5:30, so I can’t work out then. I help her with her homework when she needs it,” he smiled proudly, “which isn’t too often. She’s pretty smart. And with summer vacation starting next week, that won’t be an issue.”

  “She seems like a wonderful little girl.” I laughed, starting to relax. “In fact, I complimented Jeff on that fact just after I arrived. I thought she was his.”

  “I’m sure he took full credit for her.” He smiled wryly. “Actually, he deserves at least partial credit.” My confusion must have shown, because he explained, “Jeff is Lexi’s nanny, for lack of a better term.”

  “Jeff’s the nanny?” I couldn’t keep the laughter out of my voice.

  “Not your typical nanny, but that’s what it comes down to. He does other things for me, but keeping an eye on Lexi when I can’t is his main responsibility.

  “Oh.”

  “You seem surprised.”

  “Yes. I mean no. I mean, nannies are usually…” I searched my brain for a tactful way to say what I was thinking.

  “Women?” Dan finished for me. I nodded. He clucked his tongue comically, shaking his head from side to side. “I’m surprised at you, Sabrina. I really am. I thought you were a modern woman. I didn’t expect you to be so chauvinistic.” His eyes crinkled in amusement.

  “I am not chauvinistic.”

  “Stereotyping a profession like that. I won’t tell Jeff about this ‘cause he’s bound to get his feelings hurt.”

  “Oh please.” I finally gave into the laughter that had been threatening to surface since the exchange began.

  Dan laughed with me for a few seconds, before our eyes clashed, stopping us both. Our sober gazes held for the space of several heartbeats until Dan drew a great breath, breaking the moment.

  “Well, at any rate, I tried going the so-called traditional route, but it didn’t quite work out.”

  It took me a minute to decode what he was saying. My hot flesh instantly cooled. Of course he couldn’t have a female nanny. He wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her so she could actually watch his daughter. Typical Dan.

  “It’s not what you’re thinking,” he said, through clenched teeth.

  “I’m sure it’s not,” was my flippant reply.

  “The first woman I hired seemed perfect, but I found out she was leaving Lexi in her playpen all afternoon so she could catch up on her soap operas. The next one appeared in my bed one night, so I fired her on the spot.” He read the question lurking behind my eyes. “Before anything happened,” he answered in a low growl.

  “The next woman was too busy trying to get me to notice her daughter to pay attention to mine. And last, but not least, was Gracie. I thought she was the answer to my every prayer. A real Mary Poppins, you know? Her sons were grown and living out of the area, and she said she missed being needed. She was wonderful with Lexi…she took her for walks, to the park, fixed her hair nice.” He shook his head and laughed, as though he still couldn’t comprehend what had happened.

  “Don’t tell me, she ended up in your bed.”

  “Please don’t put that picture in my mind.” He shuddered and looked pained. “Too late.” He shook his head as if trying to erase the picture, like a child did to an etch-a-sketch. “No, nothing like that. But,” he held up his index finger to emphasize his point, “shortly after she arrived, the tabloids started writing personal little tidbits about me.”

  “Oh no.” I groaned.

  “Oh yes. It seems Gracie had a sideline going with a handful of papers.”

  “How’d you find out it was her?”

  “My agent has quite a few contacts in the media. He couldn’t get a name out of anyone, but he did find out their contact was a member of my household staff. That narrowed it down to Mrs. Evans and Gracie. When I confronted her, Gracie broke down and confessed. Needless to say, I fired her.”

  “So where did you find Jeff?”

  “He was living in Manhattan, working on Wall Street, one step away from having a nervous breakdown. I saw him at my mom’s on Thanksgiving and told him I needed a nanny and the job was his if he wanted it. He showed up before spring training started. He’s been here ever since. He also handles my investments.”

  “So he’s a friend of the family?”

  “He is family. Jeff’s my cousin.”

  “Oh, I thought I…never mind.”

  “Jeff was in the navy when we were together. That’s why you never met him.”

  Wanting to stop this line of conversation before it really got started, I changed the subject. “Do you have any ice down here?”

  “Ice cups are in the freezer over there.”

  I made my way across the large room and extracted a Styrofoam cup filled with ice. I took longer than usual peeling the excess off the sides before heading back to Dan’s side.

  Kneeling down beside him, I carefully rubbed the ice over his injured knee. “We won’t do much today. I want to assess your range of motion at this point so I can make up a routine. Can you work in the morning for a few hours straight?”

  When he didn’t answer, I lifted my head. His green eyes were boring into me. My hand stilled.

  “Aren’t you going to ask?” His voice was a mere whisper.

  “Ask what?”

  “Aren’t you going to ask me about Lexi’s mom?”

  Chapter Four

  He did it to me again…shocked me into silence. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open, not knowing what to say.

  “Weren’t you going to ask?” He sounded incredulous and his eyes were shadowed with an emotion I couldn’t quite place, and certainl
y didn’t want to name, since it looked suspiciously like hurt. His voice was quiet, almost hoarse, when he spoke again. “Or don’t you care?”

  For some reason, my eyes filled with tears. Maybe it was because I did care, and didn’t want to. Maybe it was because he sounded so concerned about whether I cared or not. But I’ll tell you one thing…it is not because I have any romantic feelings about this man.

  On that thought, I spoke, and perhaps a bit too harshly. “Why would I be surprised that you have a child?” I placed the ice cup on the table next to Dan and turned away from him, wiping my suddenly sweaty palms on a towel. “If anything, I’m surprised Lexi is the only one.” I faced him once again, my brow raised. “Or is she?”

  His eyes turned stormy. “Yes, she is the only one.” His words were carefully spaced, squeezed out through clenched teeth.

  “Hmmm.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, that’s something,” I said nonchalantly as I moved across the room toward the hamper in order to discard the used towel, more for something to do than out of necessity. “Then I suppose I should be commending you on your outstanding behavior.”

  The moment that comment slipped, I wished I could just take it back. In order to avoid the piercing gaze I felt at the back of my head, I straightened a stack of towels. That took a total of ten seconds, in which time the room was so filled with tension, I was finding it hard to breathe. With nothing left to do, I turned around and faced Dan.

  The look on his face was far worse than I had imagined it would be after my snide comments. His green eyes were bright with anger, but cloudy with so many other emotions I almost got lost in them trying to put a name to each and every one.

  The anger I understood. My comments on the subject had been juvenile and totally uncalled for. But I had trouble explaining the other emotions I saw lurking in his gaze. The hurt, regret, and disappointment were easy to define, but I still hadn’t put a name to several others when he finally spoke, putting an end to the almost deafening silence.

  “Will you ever forgive me?”

  I was suddenly thrust back in time staring not into the face of the man in front of me, but that of the twenty-one year old I had loved back in college. He had asked me that same question once upon a time. The answer I gave him back then was fueled by anger, a broken heart, and the shattered dreams and illusions of a naïve twenty-year-old girl.