****
The sun was not welcome through my window the following morning, nor was the knock on my door that had actually stirred me from a restless slumber in the first place. I nearly shouted “come in” in order to avoid actually getting out of bed, but remembering where I was, I quickly decided against it.
“Just a minute,” I yelled as I reluctantly flipped back the covers and dragged myself out of bed. I cringed when got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair looked like a rat’s nest and my eyes were so red and puffy, it’s a wonder I can focus. My shorts and tank top aren’t something I usually greet people in, but right now, I’m too damn tired to care.
I opened the door and found Lexi on the other side. “Good morning, Sabrina.”
I didn’t want to contradict the child, so I simply said, “Hi, Lexi. How’s it going?”
“Great.” Her eyes glanced first up then down the hallway before she whispered, “Daddy told me not to wake you, but you said you’d do my hair today and Cindy’ll be here to pick me up soon.”
“What time is it?” I asked around a yawn.
“Nine o’clock.” As if on cue, the grandfather clock at the top of the stairs started ringing its hourly tune.
“Oh man, I’m supposed to have a session with your dad now. I can’t believe I overslept.”
Lexi shrugged. “No big deal. He’s downstairs eating breakfast. So, can you do it?”
She jumbled the last two sentences together and it took my sleep-riddled brain a second to figure out what she was talking about.
“Your hair?” She nodded enthusiastically. “Sure. Come on in.”
Lexi hopped onto the bed while I retrieved my brush and a ponytail holder from my dresser. I climbed on the bed behind her and brushed the knots out of her hair.
“You look tired,” she said.
I nodded and started braiding. “I couldn’t fall asleep last night.” As if to punctuate my words, I yawned again.
“Are you married?”
Whoa! Where did that question come from?
“No.”
“Neither is my dad. Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Not right now.”
“Neither does my dad.” She chuckled. “Have a girlfriend, I mean.”
I think I know where this is going and I’m going to do my best to change course. “So what are you and Cindy going to do today?”
“Her mom is taking us to Magic Land. I’m gonna go on the rollercoaster. Do you like rollercoasters?”
“I love them,” I answered enthusiastically, securing her braid with a purple holder.
“So does Daddy.” Lexi turned around to face me, her green eyes dancing. “Maybe we can all go to Thunder Mountain together. They have the best rollercoasters.”
“It’s gonna be a while before your dad can go on a rollercoaster, honey.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot.” Some of her enthusiasm faded for a second before she thought up another uncomfortable topic of conversation and it rekindled. “You used to be daddy’s girlfriend.”
Although she said it more as a statement than a question, I answered her anyway, hoping that would end the conversation. “Yes.”
“How long were you his girlfriend for?”
I nearly groaned in frustration. “About two years.”
“Two years!” she shouted and hopped on her knees. “That’s an awful long time.”
I shrugged. “I guess so.”
“Why aren’t you his girlfriend anymore?”
Because your father is a lying, cheating scumbag.
“Well, that’s a tough one,” I said instead. “We just kind of broke up. He was graduating and going off to play ball and I was still in school.” I trailed off there, hoping she’d let it go.
“You coulda gone with him. Uncle Jack’s girlfriends go with him all the time.”
No such luck.
I didn’t want to get into a discussion about Uncle Jack…whoever he may be…and his girlfriends, so I simply said, “Things were different then. Besides, I was still in school. I couldn’t go anywhere.”
“Don’t you think my dad is cute?” Before I could answer, she added, “All my friends do.”
“Yes, he’s cute,” I answered, hoping once again, to put an end to the conversation.
Lexi opened her mouth to speak but three sharp knocks on the door stopped her. She leapt off the bed and opened the door. “Daddy, how do you like my hair?”
“It’s great. Are you all ready to go?” Lexi bobbed her head up and down. “Good, ‘cause I saw Cindy and her mom pulling into the driveway.” As if he had it timed, the doorbell rang signaling Cindy’s arrival. “There they are. Grab your gear and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
“I’m sorry I overslept, Dan. I’ll meet you downstairs in a half hour.”
“No problem.” His eyes made a lazy tour down then back up my body. “Nice jammies.”
His intimate tone, not to mention the appreciative look in his eyes made my heart beat double time.
“I’ll meet you downstairs,” I said sternly and backed him out the door. Lexi came bounding out of her room. I wished her a good time before stepping into my room and closing the door.
****
One nice thing about working with a single patient is that getting a late start doesn’t disrupt an entire day’s worth of appointments. Essentially I’m at Dan’s disposal twenty-four-seven and since Lexi’s gone, Dan is free all day.
Our first work out of the day is going remarkably well despite its late start. Dan really is giving it his all and I have no doubt in my mind he’ll be one hundred percent for spring training next year. His pain level is still relatively high, but I’ve seen a big improvement in his range of motion in the month we’ve been working together. I was telling him that very thing while I iced his knee.
“When can I stop wearing this thing?” he asked, pointing to his brace.
“I’d say not for a while, but you’ll have to ask your doctor.”
He grunted in response, but otherwise remained silent. I felt his hot gaze on the back of my head, but chose to ignore it…well, ignore it as much as I could anyway.
“There you go,” I said when the ice melted down to the end of the Styrofoam cup it was encased in. “All done.”
I made the mistake of looking at him. His eyes glowed with a hint of amusement and…something more.
My face grew hot and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. He took my hand in his and rubbed his thumb slowly across my knuckles. His eyes dropped to our co-joined hands and for a moment I thought he was going to raise my hand to his lips, but he didn’t. His gaze met mine again and he smiled.
“I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re cute too.”
I felt all the blood drain from my face in a rush and my over-heated skin froze like the ice I still held in my hand. My mortification was obvious and Dan spoke again in what I’m sure was an attempt to make me feel better. But the fact of the matter is, no matter what he says, I’ll still feel like an idiot.
“I’m sorry. I heard part of your conversation with Lexi. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but when I walked by, I couldn’t help but overhear.” He looked at me for the space of several heartbeats before he continued. In that short space of time, I couldn’t help but wonder just how much of the conversation he’d heard.
“I want to apologize for Lexi and I promise I’ll talk to her. She shouldn’t be asking you things like that and backing you into a corner like she did.”
“Did you hear the entire conversation?”
He shook his head. “I’m not sure how much I missed. The first thing I heard was why we’re not together anymore.”
“That was about midpoint.” I walked around picking up towels, putting things away. Even from halfway across the room, I felt his gaze pull at me. How can I be so attracted to a man whose core values are the exact opposite of mine? Somewhere deep inside I must be warped.
“Did I miss anything important?” he asked.
/>
“No, I don’t think so. She just kind of verified that we, uh, dated in college.”
I walked back over to him in order to place his brace back on his leg. I know he’s quite capable of doing it himself, but I’m more accomplished at the task and always do it for my patients. That way, I’m assured it’s on properly.
“We did more than date, Bri. We were practically engaged.”
I held back the snort of laughter that was just dying to be released along with at least a dozen seething replies. Dan and I have been getting along well and I don’t want to upset the peace. I didn’t want to continue this line of conversation and told him so. He looked like he was going to argue, but then relaxed his posture.
“Just one more question,” he said.
I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at the ceiling. “What?”
“How did she know about us?”
“I don’t have a clue, but she did know. When she said ‘you used to be daddy’s girlfriend’, it was a statement, not a question.” I shrugged. “I just figured you told her.”
He shook his head and pinched his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “No, I never told her.”
“Then, I don’t know.” That said I felt the subject was closed. “Okay, I’ll see you around three?”
He nodded but continued to look confused. I took the opportunity to make my way out of the room.
“Bri.” His voice stopped me in my tracks, but I didn’t turn around. “Thanks for not making me sound like a Class A jerk.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about and turned around and told him so.
“When Lexi asked you why we broke up.” He shrugged. “Instead of telling her what an idiot I was, you just told her we were going in different directions. I appreciate that. I really don’t want her to know what a jerk I used to be.”
I tuned out that last part. I don’t want to hear all about how he’s changed. “You’re welcome.”
I turned on my heel and left the room.
Chapter Eight
I closed the book I was supposed to be reading and rested it on my knees. For nearly two hours I sat perched on the window seat, book in hand, staring at the words on the page, but not reading any of them. The only words filling my head were Dan’s.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t put them out of my mind. Not only the words, but the manner in which he said them. He actually looked sorry and slightly embarrassed. That’s more than I got when I confronted him ten years ago. Back then he’d been cocky and not the least bit apologetic.
Is he really sorry, or is it just an act? Should I even care? No, I shouldn’t. Do I care? Unfortunately, and totally against my will, I do. But why? Why after all these years do I care whether or not Dan is sorry?
If I’m being totally honest with myself, the answer to that last question is because he’s the first boy I ever loved…truly loved, not just had some schoolgirl crush on. There wasn’t anyone before him and there sure as hell hasn’t been anyone since. No one who matters anyway.
Let’s face it. Dan has left some sort of indelible mark on me that I can’t erase. Subconsciously, I’ve compared every man I’ve dated since college to him. And sad to say, not one has measured up.
I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. As depressing as my thoughts are, they’re one hundred percent true. Instead of blocking all these facts out, I’ve decided that I better face them if I’m going to be strong. Face things with my eyes open, as they say. Dan has been making subtle moves on me all week and I’m determined to not fall for his charming smiles and sweet words again. I can’t risk it.
My watch alarm chirped signaling that it was time for Dan’s next therapy session. Time to face him again. I got off the bed and headed for the door. With every step I took toward the gym, I steeled myself against him.
I can do this.
I gave myself a pep talk all the way through the house, to the gym. Three more weeks, four at the most and I’ll be gone…five on the outside. At any rate, this is only temporary. Soon I’ll be able to leave and pick up my life right where I left off, a bit richer in the process.
The partnership I’ll obtain upon my return to the clinic will definitely put me into a new tax bracket this year. But it’s not just the money, it’s the satisfaction of reaching my goal that’s spurring me on. In the end, it will all be worth it. Before long, this time with Dan will be a distant memory, but the partnership will last forever, or at least until I die. I just have to keep my focus and not get sidetracked.
When I stepped into the gym, my jaw nearly hit the floor. I kept my focus all right. I focused right onto Dan’s bare chest and bulging biceps as he curled hand weights. I have to admit that, despite his various flaws, Dan is one fine specimen of manhood.
Being a physical therapist, I’ve seen all sizes and shapes of men in various states of undress and haven’t batted an eye. And as I look at Dan, I still haven’t batted an eye, because I haven’t blinked once.
His back and shoulders are broad and I find myself fascinated as his muscles flex and relax with his movements. The angle he is sitting at also gives me a view of his magnificent chest and six-pack abs, which are covered with tawny hair that disappears in a straight line into his gym shorts. That line is like an arrow directing my eyes to his shorts and what lies within them.
I had just dragged my gaze from the area of his anatomy that I have no business staring at when Dan noticed my presence. He turned his head so quickly in my direction I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt my eyes on him the entire time. I covered my embarrassment with hostility.
“Don’t you know that you should never lift weights without a spot?” I marched toward him.
He actually looked amused, which pissed me off even more.
“I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.” He lifted the weights into my line of vision. “But as you can see, these are only twenty pounds each, so unless I accidentally bash myself in the head with them, I think I’m safe.”
What he was saying was true, but I didn’t want to admit it, so I ignored the statement entirely. I retrieved a Styrofoam ice cup from the freezer and prepared to get down to business.
Kneeling beside him, I removed his brace, and iced down his knee. As I did so, I explained a few slight alterations I had devised to his routine. “If it’s too much, let me know. I don’t want you to push yourself too hard.”
“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?”
His abrupt change of subject, as well as his question, threw me off guard. “What?”
“Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?” he repeated in an overly patient tone.
“Oh.” I stood and wiped my hands on a towel. “I don’t think so.”
Annoyance, then determination shone in his eyes. “Come on, Bri. Except for Lexi’s practice, neither one of us has left this house. Jeff has a date and I gave Mrs. Evans the night off since Lexi isn’t here.” He flashed a smile that lit up his whole face. “So it’s just you and me.”
I thought about that for a minute. Since I can’t boil water without scorching it and the last time I’d seen Dan cook, he burned the food way past the point of recognition, we’d probably have to order out anyway. And, given a choice, I’d rather eat somewhere in public with him rather than at home alone…it was definitely the lesser of two evils.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
I laughed out loud at his shocked expression. Apparently he thought he was really going to have to turn on the charm to persuade me.
“Great.”
“But first we have to finish your workout.”
“Right.”
“That’s why I’m here, you know. To get you all better,” I reminded him, lifting his foot and moving his leg in a series of pre-workout warm-ups. He flinched as I held his heel and rotated it from side to side.
“Does it feel any better than it did earlier?”
He shook his head. “No.”
&n
bsp; “How about this?” I pulled on his heel in an attempt to straighten out his leg.
“Argh! It hurts like hell.”
I sat back on my heels and looked at his leg then up to his face, which was covered with a fine sheen of sweat. I would have liked to try the new routine, but didn’t think he was ready.
“Okay,” I said as I stood. “Nix the new routine. Just run through the usual and if at anytime it hurts above a five, stop immediately.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I ignored that and started him moving in an attempt to keep the tone professional. If we’re going to be alone tonight, I want it to be on my terms, not his.
****
I sat on my bed and called myself every kind of fool. Why did I agree to go out with him tonight? Even when we have Lexi as a barrier, the sparks fly between us. What will it be like when I don’t have anything other than him to focus on?
I stood and walked to the closet. Now, what to wear? We’d decided to go to a little Italian restaurant in town that Dan said looks like a “hole in the wall” but serves the best food he’s ever tasted. So I don’t need anything fancy, but I don’t want to look like a grub either. Then again, I don’t want to look like I’m dressed for a date date. I wish I could see what Dan is wearing. I’ve only seen him in sweat pants or shorts since I’ve arrived, but he assured me that he’d get into something decent for our night out.
Why do I care?
On that last thought, I yanked a pair of khaki pants, a white blouse and black cardigan sweater off their hangers with more force than necessary. The hangers rattled against each other before settling into place.
After donning my clothes and slipping my feet into a pair of sandals, I studied the result in the mirror. I decided to let my hair hang loose, and brushed it until it framed my face nicely. I know that by the end of the night it will be driving me crazy…which is why I usually pull it back…but for now I’m happy with it. I picked up my purse and headed out the door.
There seemed to be an awful lot of noise coming from the family room, but I figured Dan was watching a game with the volume up too loud. How wrong I was. I recognized the three men sitting in the room and hoped like hell none of them recognized me. No such luck.
Girls You Marry Page 5
