“Never?”
“Never,” she added, her green eyes wide and solemn. “And some of them are real pretty, too.”
“Did he ever have a girlfriend?”
She shook her head. “He says I’m his best girl and he doesn’t need another one.”
“You’ve never met anyone he’s dated?”
“No.” She frowned. “And he never goes out, so I don’t think he goes on dates.” Her face brightened. “But I think he’d like you to be his girlfriend.”
“Me? Why would you say that?”
“I don’t know. I just think he would.”
Thankfully, the mall appeared, distracting Lexi from the conversation.
****
Lexi performed a not-too-graceful dive into the pool.
“Getting better, honey,” Dan yelled from his raft as her head popped to the surface of the water.
“Do you really think so?” she asked, swimming toward him, obviously not believing him.
“You’re not doing belly flops any more,” he pointed out.
Lexi nodded, and was about to say something else when she spotted me standing at the side of the pool. “Sabrina,” she yelled, directing Dan’s attention my way. “How do you like Sabrina’s suit, Daddy? I picked it out.”
The royal blue two-piece Lexi had picked out was more sporty than skimpy, but I felt way too exposed as Dan’s hot gaze roamed over every inch of my body.
“It looks great,” was all he said to Lexi, though his eyes spoke volumes more to me.
“Can you dive, Sabrina?”
Dan answered for me, his eyes still glued to mine. “She can do better than dive, Lex, she can flip.”
“You can?” Lexi bobbed up and down in the water, taking the raft Dan was floating on with her.
“I don’t know. I haven’t done that in a long time.” Actually, it hasn’t been that long, but just thinking about what I’d look like performing that particular maneuver in a two-piece suit made me cringe.
“I think she’s chicken.” Dan spoke to Lexi, though his gaze was still riveted on me.
I planted my hands on my hips and glared at him. “Don’t think you can use that old trick on me Daniel, because it won’t work.”
“What?” He lifted his hand to his chest. His innocent “Who me?” gesture didn’t fool me. “If you’re afraid to do it, just say so. Lexi and I totally understand. Don’t we?”
“Are you scared?” Lexi asked.
“No honey, I’m not scared.”
Before I could add to that, she cut in. “So you’re gonna do it? You do it and then I can try.”
“Don’t push her, honey,” Dan said. “I don’t think she wants to.”
The man is infuriating. Sitting there on that raft, looking so sure of himself. Like he has any idea what I’m capable of. I’ll wipe that smug smile off his face.
I stepped onto the diving board and bounced lightly to judge its spring. Feeling Dan’s eyes on me the entire time, I stepped back, then quickly moved forward, jumped onto the very edge of the board and jumped off, propelling myself forward. I flipped once in the air, my body curled tight, before I straightened and plunged into the water. Allowing myself to sink all the way to the bottom of the pool, I checked that my bathing suit was in place before kicking off the floor, pushing myself through to the surface of the water.
“How did you learn how to do that?” Lexi asked, her eyes wide.
“My brother taught me. But it takes lots and lots of practice,” I emphasized. “And don’t ever try doing it if you’re alone.”
“Can I try it now?”
“Why don’t you practice doing somersaults under the water? That’s the best way to get started.” She clearly wasn’t pleased with that, but didn’t argue. Instead, she moved away from Dan and me and proceeded to practice her flips.
“So how was your trip to the mall?” His tone was casual, but the look on his face was anything but.
“Good. We had a great time. Lexi showed me all the hot spots.” His eyes were devouring me and I dipped further into the water to shield myself from their heat. The smirk that spread across his face told me he knew exactly what I was doing.
“That’s a nice suit you’ve got on.”
“Thanks.” I bent my knees until only my head was above the water. “Lexi picked it out. I don’t normally wear a two-piece, but somehow I let her talk me into it.” I’m not sure why I added that last part.
“I’ve always said you should wear a bikini. You’ve definitely got the body for it.” I couldn’t hold back my snort of disbelief. “Honey, if you looked any better in that suit, I’d have to climb off this raft and hide in the water for fear of embarrassing myself.”
I didn’t have to ask what he was talking about. My eyes lowered to his crotch. Dan’s low chuckle drew them back up to his eyes, which were filled with amusement and hunger.
My body felt so overheated, I was afraid I was going to set the pool water boiling. I stood with the intention of escaping, and the water level dipped to my waist. Dan’s eyes lowered and he groaned then tipped himself off the raft.
“God, Bri.” His voice sounded strangled.
My insides fluttered at his obvious attraction, as my brain fought for control. Of course, I feel flattered by Dan’s interest. Who wouldn’t? I’m just surprised he’s still so obvious about it after my blunt refusal. He asked me for a second chance. I said no. I thought he’d let it go at that.
Maybe by refusing, I’ve made it a challenge. Dan has always been very competitive, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have too many women refuse him. Maybe now it’s a matter of pride.
“Sabrina, can we talk later?” His eyes looked soft and sexy, yet pleading.
Not a good idea.
“I don’t think we have anything to talk about. That is, unless you want to discuss your therapy.” I raised my voice an octave on the last word, turning the sentence into a question.
His eyes narrowed, but were full of determination. Just when he was going to answer, Lexi interrupted. “Can I try to flip off the diving board now?”
Anything to get away from Dan.
“Sure,” I said, “let’s go.”
For the rest of the afternoon, I stuck to Lexi teaching her how to flip off the diving board. Dan climbed back on his raft and cheered her on. While he managed to look relaxed, I sensed his underlying tension, and the look in his eyes promised that our conversation was far from over.
Chapter Seventeen
I’d just put the last of my freshly laundered clothes away when I heard an impatient knock on the door.
“It’s open,” I yelled, knowing without a doubt who would come walking through the door.
Dan crossed the threshold, closed the door behind him, and proceeded to stare at me. I felt uneasy with those amazing green eyes looking right through me, but I’d be damned if I’d show it.
“Did you want something?”
“I think I mentioned that I wanted to talk to you.”
“And I think I told you we had nothing to talk about.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t feel this thing between us, this thing that’s always been between us.” He moved toward me as he spoke. I forced myself to stand my ground, both literally and figuratively.
“Dan, if you want to discuss your therapy or your health, I’m all ears, but everything else is off limits.”
“This is about my well-being.”
My eyes shifted to his leg. “What’s wrong?”
“My heart is broken.”
“Oh please,” I snorted. “Tell me another one.”
“Bri, I want you back, need to have you back in my life.”
Fury rose within me like a tidal wave. “Why? Why me?”
He studied me for a moment. “Because I love you. I always have, and after ten years of trying not to, realize I always will.”
Tears stung my eyes, but they were
more from anger than anything else. “Why are you doing this?”
“I just told you—”
I couldn’t bear to hear it again, so I interrupted him. “I know what you told me, but I’ve heard it all before.” I spat. “The thing is, I’m not the same stupid, naïve girl I was ten years ago. I learned my lesson well and will never fall for sweet lines and charming smiles again. Not from you, not from anyone.” I took a breath and glared at him. “The thing I don’t understand is why you did it. I mean, if you wanted all those other girls, why bother with me at all? I couldn’t hold a candle to any of them in the looks department and certainly not in the body department, so why did you have me around at all?”
“Because I loved you.”
I was getting ready to lambaste him again, but he stopped me.
“And as far as those other girls are concerned, they couldn’t hold a candle to you.” He sighed and shook his head. “I told you before, I fell in love with you the minute I laid eyes on you.” His crooked smile was adorable. “Then again, I suppose I only fell in lust with you when I first saw you. The love came shortly after we went out and I realized you were just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.”
My knees felt weak, so I sat on the bed and hugged them to my chest. “Dan, please don’t.” My voice sounded small, even to my own ears.
“Bri.” Dan sat down on the edge of the bed beside me. “I might’ve done some stupid things back then, but I never lied to you. Every word I ever said was true.”
The look of sheer disbelief I threw at him said all I wanted to.
“Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t lie to you,” he insisted. “Not even when I wanted to. Not even when you confronted me and I knew, just knew I’d lose you if I told the truth.”
I wanted to yell at him, wanted to tell him that it doesn’t matter anymore…but I couldn’t, because it does. A familiar ache settled in my chest and my eyes began to sting. One question kept ringing through my head: why? I didn’t realize I’d spoken it out loud until he started to answer.
“I was an ass. That’s all there is to it.”
A tear escaped, ran down my face, and plopped onto the back of my hand. I reached up and wiped away the trailing moisture, hoping he didn’t notice. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Dan,” I said, softly.
“Is that why you’re lying in the fetal position with tears rolling down your face?” I narrowed my eyes and gave him my best glare. His own expression softened. “Talk to me, Bri. I want to know what you’re thinking and feeling. I want you to understand what happened back then.”
I couldn’t restrain myself any longer.
He’s asking for it, so he’s gonna get it.
“You want to know what I’m thinking?” I dropped my feet to the floor and straightened my spine. “I’m thinking that I’ll never understand why you did the things you did. I mean, why would you screw half the campus and keep me on the side? I could see if you were screwing me too, but that wasn’t the case.” I laughed, but it held no humor, only disgust. Whether it was directed at myself or him, I couldn’t say.
“When I think of all the time I wasted thinking you were a true gentleman, I feel sick. All the times you told me you loved me and wanted to wait until we were married to make love so it’d be special, I believed you.”
Dan started to speak, but I raised my had halting his words. “Do you want to know what I’m thinking, or not?” He nodded. “I believed you. I believed every single word you told me.” I wiped at the tears streaming down my face and glared at him, silently daring him to speak. He remained silent. “I should’ve trusted my instincts. I knew you were too good to be true. Guys like you don’t date girls like me. I know that, yet somehow you made me feel like we belonged together, like we were made for each other.”
Tears glistened in his eyes, but I forced myself to ignore them. “But what gets me the most is the way you just blew it off when I confronted you. Girls you fuck and girls you marry,” I mocked, gaining a small amount of pleasure when he flinched at his own words. “Was that supposed to make it all right, Dan? Were those lovely words supposed to make me feel better about the fact that the man I loved with my whole heart and soul stuck it to every girl who crossed his path? Make me feel less embarrassed about begging you to make love to me?”
“Is that what this is about? You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about, Bri.”
“This is about your inability to keep it in your pants while we were together.”
“Is it?” His brow cocked. “Or is it about the fact that I kept it in my pants with you?”
“Don’t you dare try to turn this around. I may not be perfect, but I never once cheated on you, never even thought about it.” I shook my head in disgust. “And the thing that really kills me is the fact that I fought you. Remember that? I didn’t want to go out with you because I knew it wasn’t natural. Ken dates Barbie, not the generic Dollar Store version. But you kept at me and convinced me to go out with you, made me fall in love with you.”
“Are you finished?” he asked, nostrils flaring, his tone impatient. I nodded. “Good, now it’s your turn to listen.”
I wanted to remind him that he’s the one who’s supposed to be groveling, but his thunderous expression stopped me.
“First off, what is this Ken and Barbie thing you’re talking about? You’re a beautiful woman, Bri.” His jaw tensed when I rolled my eyes. “Do not roll your eyes,” he said through clenched teeth. “You’re beautiful and smart and funny and I fell head over heels in love with you. The problem was…” He looked at me for the space of several heartbeats, lowered his head, and rubbed the back of his neck. “From the time I was fourteen years old, my father told me about good girls and bad girls, for lack of better terms. He drilled it into my head that there are girls you fuck and girls you marry, and that you don’t fuck the girl you plan to marry until the wedding night.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Even once you married them, he said that you treated them with respect in and out of the bedroom. If you wanted raunchy sex, again you’d go find a girl you fuck.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Did he actually believe this stuff? I asked him just that.
“My father raised me to believe it. In fact, when I was sixteen, he caught my girlfriend and me fooling around on the couch. When she went home, he dragged me to my room, and lectured me for a half hour, then beat the crap out of me.”
“He what?” I couldn’t believe my ears.
“You heard me right. He was careful not to break anything or cause any real damage, but he certainly got his message across.” He dragged in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Until I met you, I never questioned his theory again.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I never thought twice about it until I fell in love with you. But once we were together, I felt guilty as hell cheating on you.”
“So why did you?”
“I just told you.”
“Let me get this straight. You couldn’t fuck me because you wanted to marry me, so you went to other girls.”
“Pretty much.”
“Did it ever occur to you not to fuck anyone?” The look on his face answered the question. “I wasn’t fucking anyone Dan, so why should you?”
I swear I haven’t said the word fuck as much in my entire life as I have in this conversation.
“Would you please stop saying ‘fuck’?” he shouted, as if reading my mind.
“Why? You seem to like the action, why not the word?”
He sucked in what I could tell was a calming breath and let it slide out through his teeth. “I think we’ve gotten off track here. I just wanted you to understand what I was thinking back then.”
“And it’s different now?”
“Yes, it is.” His eyes met mine and held, willing me to believe him. “When my parents split up, my mother broke down one night and told me why. For all the years my father was preaching his philosophy to me, it ne
ver occurred to me that he was also living it.
“I was shattered when you broke up with me, but I’ll admit I didn’t really see your side. I thought I’d give you time and you’d forgive and forget. Everything would be okay. After talking to my mother, I didn’t believe that anymore.
“My mom told me how hurt and humiliated she was and how she couldn’t understand why he’d done it. She also couldn’t believe he had the nerve to ask her for a second chance.” Dan sighed. “Right then I understood exactly how you must’ve felt.”
“How’s you mother doing now?”
He shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”
“Good. I always like her.”
Dan’s jaw dropped. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to say that you understand what happened back then,” he said. “I want you to say that you see me as the man I am today, not the stupid boy I was.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “But more than anything else, I want you to say that you’ll try and give me another chance.” His eyes glistened with tears and were so full of emotion I had to turn away before I got pulled into their green depths.
“Why me?” I asked, my voice hoarse. “Why are you doing this to me? And why now, after ten years?” I knew I sounded like a broken record asking “why”, but it was the one thing I needed to know.
“Because I love you,” he answered, sounding like a broken record himself. He scooted closer and took my hand. His grasp was firm and I didn’t have the strength to pull away.
“Look at me, Bri.” Though his tone was soft, it was definitely a command. My gaze met his, hoping he couldn’t see my weakness. Hoping he wouldn’t know that I was barely holding on to my resolve.
“Why not you?” he asked. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. As far as ‘why now’…” He shrugged. “I’ve wanted to contact you for the past ten years, but I went to see you right after it happened and got the door slammed in my face. I decided to give you some time to cool off. Time just got away from me, and then Lexi was born and next thing I know, it was ten years later. When I smacked into that wall and busted my leg, I knew it was fate. It was my one chance to get you into my life without coming on too strong.
Girls You Marry Page 10
