Shattered Dreams (Moonchild)

by Walters, Janet Lane;

“Don’t blame her. Told her I was an old friend you haven’t seen for years and wanted to surprise you.”

  “You did that. Why are you here?”

  He grinned. “After losing track of your existence, I heard you were in town. I always though you’d found someone in Europe and married. You disappeared.” He met her gaze. “Where’s your father?”

  “He died in January.” She turned away. “I stayed on the concert tour for three years. Those were the most miserable of my life.”

  “How did you escape?”

  “On my twenty-first birthday, I gained control of the money my mother left me. I came back to the states and enrolled in college using her maiden name.” She strode to the counter and opened the folder. “Enough about me. I’d like the nurse practitioner at Employee’s Health to do your physical and for you to find another physician. I’ll give you several names.”

  “Why?”

  “How can you ask that?”

  Thoughts of her hands on his body sent a rush of blood to his groin. “Wouldn’t embarrass me. You’ve seen me in the raw.”

  Her face flamed. Her shoulders straightened. “That was in the past and will stay there.”

  “We need to talk about that time. There are facts you should know.”

  She turned toward the door. “There’s nothing you can tell me I don’t know.” She glared. “What job are you applying for? Maintenance?”

  Rafe laughed. “I start tomorrow as CNO, better known as director of nursing. Actually, I’ll be working with Gran Ruth, uh, Mrs. Patton until September.”

  “What?”

  Her reaction startled him. “Men can be nurses just as women can be doctors.”

  “I know that. What made you decide to become a nurse?”

  “An accident. Happened the night I left.” Did she believe he had remained that teenager more in tune with motorcycles than with people? “Gran plans to retire and she recommended me. Since I was finishing my doctorate and a consulting job, I had a Skype interview and was hired.”

  Manon whirled. “Haven’t you heard?”

  “About what?”

  “This morning Mrs. Patton was admitted with angina. We’re monitoring her condition and ordering tests.”

  He slid from the table. “How is she? Is this an emergency?”

  “She’s stable.”

  “Why wasn’t I notified? I’m her emergency contact.” He had been since he’d come to live with her on the day his mother had left.

  Manon frowned. “I was busy stabilizing her. I’m sure one of the nurses made the call. Emma said all her attempts to reach you to change your appointment went to voice mail.”

  He reached for his jeans and extracted the phone. “Damn. Forgot to charge. Are you sure she’s stable?”

  Manon leaned against the door. “I wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t. She’ll be undergoing a few tests so we can determine what’s going on. Why don’t I give you the list of doctors and notify the nurse practitioner you’ll be in tomorrow for the physical. Get dressed and I’ll handle matters.”

  Though he wanted to see Gran Ruth, her illness changed matters. Tomorrow he had to be ready to work. He returned to the table. “I need to be cleared for tomorrow.”

  “Check with the nurse practitioner. If anything she’ll come back to do the exam.”

  “Why bother her when I’m here? One thing I remember is the physical must be completed before starting to work.”

  Manon scowled. She closed the door and walked to the counter. “I’ll do an EKG, the EENT exam, check your blood pressure and your lungs. If I discover any problems I’ll have to refer you.”

  “Whatever works.” Thoughts of having her near stirred his cock. The flush on her face convinced him she had noticed. Though she acted like an ice maiden, he believed with luck he could warm her.

  Her gray-blue eyes flashed with anger. “Why did you return?”

  “For a job.”

  “Is that the only reason or are you back to show everyone you’ve become a responsible adult?”

  “I’m here so Gran can retire and not worry about what happens at the hospital.”

  He had another goal. Until he and Manon discussed the false reports of his death and his reasons for leaving so abruptly, he couldn’t tell her why he’d returned. He wanted her in his life. He wanted to know why she hadn’t answered his letters or if she had even received them. Though he ached to kiss and pleasure her until she cried his name, he would wait.

  Manon stepped toward the table. “I’ll make this quick since I think you should head to the hospital. I’m sure Mrs. Patton is worried about your non-appearance.”

  “After the exam I’ll visit Gran and come back for you.” He smiled. “We’ll ride to Fern Lake and recapture memories.”

  “In your dreams.”

  Her scent flowed toward him. He tamped the urge to kiss her, this time with desire. He would show her his need to possess her and find the future they deserved. Before that happened, she needed to know why he’d left. The story might cause anger and denial but he had to speak.

  Manon approached. He braced not to react to the sensations evoked by her scent of her hands on his skin.

  Chapter 2

  Manon steeled herself to begin the exam. She drew ice around her emotions. Why did his presence call for her to surrender to the remnants of the past humming between them? She could almost see the threads of desire scintillating the air. If she could maintain a strictly professional attitude, the threads would dissolve.

  She drew a deep breath. The aroma of his aftershave and of him flowed through her body and threatened to breach barriers erected against memories of their shared past. Questions burned in her thoughts. To ask would send her spinning into a whirlpool of remembrance.

  Her breasts felt heavy. Moisture gathered on her panties. Her body responded to his presence today with the same urgent need as in the past. Her hands tightened. She refused to accept the pulsing need. Years ago, she had buried her love for him. Love had no place in her life. Sex she could handle but not today.

  With him?

  Another question she wanted to leave unanswered. She fastened the blood pressure cuff around his upper arm, and pumped the bulb. As she watched the column of mercury descend, she listened for the sounds of returning blood flow. She frowned. “Pressure’s a bit high. Ten points above Emma’s reading.”

  He winked. “Anticipation. Bet my pulse is fast, too. You know how that works.”

  She did and didn’t like what that meant. Did he really expect her to believe he cared? “Just relax.” She pumped the cuff again. “That’s better.”

  “Can’t help my reaction. Should tell you something.”

  “I’d rather not speculate.” The sound made by releasing the Velcro steadied her. She reached for the scope to continue the exam. Before beginning the eye, nose, ear and throat portion, a moment of panic arose. She stared at the mouth that had brought so much pleasure in the past.

  What would happen if she brushed his lips with hers? Were his kisses as lethal as they had been?

  Stifle that thought.

  She clenched the scope and began. She couldn’t allow thoughts of what could be to take root.

  After finishing and jotting notes, she moved behind him. Not fast enough to avoid glimpses of scars on his legs. “What happened?”

  “A run-in with a car. Bike lost.”

  Was that the reason he had vanished? Had he been injured on the way to pick her up for their prom date? Made no sense. He wouldn’t have arrived on his Harley not in a tux and her wearing a gown. There’d been no report of an accident in the local paper. The day after the prom, she had called the Fern Lake General. He hadn’t been a patient.

  “You can read about the many surgeries and my long stay in rehab. I gave the tome to your nurse. She was impressed/”

  “Did she read the file?” Manon’s shoulders tensed. If Emma had been here, an explanation would have been demanded.

  “Nah. The weight impr
essed her. She did note all the scars on the assessment sheet. Want to see them?”

  “I’ll read her assessment.” She warmed the bell of the stethoscope.

  “Enjoy.”

  She placed her stethoscope on his back. “Inhale. Again.” She repeated the command as she moved the bell along his back. She noticed the scar indicating he’d had a chest tube. “Collapsed lung.”

  “Yes.”

  “Breath sounds clear. Any breathing problems?” Though she wanted to know more she would wait and read the report.

  “Only at this moment. You make me want to hyperventilate.”

  Manon’s mouth almost formed a smile. “Don’t. One person fainting is enough for today.”

  He laughed. “Just joking. Want to see more scars? I have more than a dozen.”

  “Not really.”

  “They did a good job putting me together again.”

  For a moment she wanted to hear more but snapped her mouth shut on any questions. If she stopped thinking about him as a job applicant, he might creep into her life again. Sex she could handle but nothing other than surface.

  She moved around the table to listen to his heart. He raised the gown. The sight of his well-developed pecs brought another rush of desire. A line of dark hair arrowed down his body toward the edge of his briefs. Memories flared.

  His taut abs tightened. Though temptation beckoned, she kept her gaze on his chest. She pressed the stethoscope against his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart.

  “I’ll do an EKG, then we’re done.” Gingerly she placed the leads in place. Her fingers lightly brushed his skin. She flipped the switch and watched a strip form. A better option than staring at him while a fantasy formed.

  Questions tumbled like dice in a shaker. When and where had the accident occurred? Where had he been all those years? Why had he decided to become a nurse? She’d had him pegged as an engineer or a car mechanic but she had believed him dead. She wouldn’t ask or let him talk. The past had ended. She refused to allow him or any man to hurt her again.

  She removed the leads and folded the strip. “You’re healthy. I see no problem with you starting work tomorrow.” She filled out an aftercare form. “Take this to the lab tomorrow morning. Best time is before six AM. Fasting blood work and a urinalysis.” She handed him the paper and walked to the door.

  “Manon.”

  The husky timbre of his voice flowed over her skin like a swatch of velvet. Why did he have to be so hot, so intriguing? She recalled their first meeting. She’d thought of him as a puzzle she wanted to solve.

  Don’t go there. She had no time in her life for puzzles.

  “We need to talk. After I visit Gran Ruth, I’ll pick you up and we’ll go to dinner.”

  Though Rafe’s invitation tempted her more than Tom’s had, accepting meant a trip into the past. She shook her head. They wouldn’t talk. They seldom had other than when they met with the study group. Other times, their meetings had begun with kisses followed by heated love-making.

  She straightened. Not love. Love meant forever. They’d had sex. Thoughts of his hands roaming over her body brought a rush of anticipation. One kiss and she would fall into the old patterns and set herself up for pain when he rode away again.

  “Can’t go.” The clipped words and bitterness in her voice surprised her. She hoped he wouldn’t push.

  “Or won’t?”

  His question hovered. “Both.”

  “I’ll accept your answer for now. Sooner or later we will talk. I’d rather do that tonight.”

  I prefer never. “I’m busy.”

  “Hot date?”

  With a cold shower. “Not your business what I do. Get dressed and see yourself out.”

  “What no post conference? I’m surprised, Dr. Lockley.”

  Why did his remark sting? She couldn’t respond. “If your lab results show any problems the nurse practitioner will let you know.” She turned and nearly collided with him. “Don’t do this. I’ve enough problems realizing you’re alive and back in town.”

  He ran a finger over her cheek. “Who told you I was dead?”

  Her thoughts flowed back to that dreadful day. She heard words muffled by the sound of her sobs. She blocked any more of that night. “Someone. Male. I don’t know. I was crying. I only heard the words.” She pulled away. His touch burned.

  “Your father?”

  “I said I don’t know and I don’t want to remember. Can’t ask my father. He died in January.” She reached behind for the doorknob. “For three years after hearing about your death, I didn’t fight his plans for me.”

  The phone rang. She reached the receiver hoping for an escape. Hearing Tom’s voice produced a scowl. “What do you want?”

  “Have you heard who’s in town?”

  “Yes.”

  “Guess he didn’t die.”

  Manon frowned. Had Tom been the bearer of the news? For him to be at her house on prom night made no sense. Her father wouldn’t have allowed him come to her bedroom. Since Tom’s return to Fern Lake, he’d often chided her for clinging to the memory of a dead man.

  “You’re right, he didn’t.”

  “Wonder why he’s here.”

  “I have no idea.” Let Tom discover for himself why Rafe was in town.

  “I’ll ask around. Why don’t you join me for dinner and I’ll tell you all I discover.” His voice lowered. “Do you suppose he’s dealing drugs? I used to wonder about that.”

  “I wouldn’t make unfounded accusations,” Manon said. “Could bring trouble.”

  “Dinner. Seven at Fern House.”

  “Tom, I told you earlier I wouldn’t go to dinner with you. I haven’t changed my mind.” She slammed the receiver in the cradle, opened the door and strode to her office.

  Rafe’s scent and laughter trailed after her. The heat his touch had raised pulsed through her arteries. Once seated at her desk, she booted the computer and logged on. The files of the patients she’d seen earlier appeared. She opened them one by one and entered her data from the day’s visits.

  With Tom’s, she documented the visit and added the number of times he’d come to the office for complaints that had no medical validity. She added the consults she’d recommended and how he hadn’t followed up. With a firm statement she added her reluctance to bill his insurance company for these visits. She wrote a final note dismissing him as a patient.

  Finally, she opened a line to Employee Health at the hospital and began a chart for Rafe. She documented the results of her exam and made a note for Emma to scan her assessment. She noted she would deliver the EKG strip and his medical record in the morning.

  A sound startled her. Had Tom snuck in? She grasped the letter opener. When she saw Rafe in the doorway, her tension remained. “Why are you still here?”

  “Wanted to make sure you were all right.”

  “I’m fine.” She dropped the silver implement on the desk.

  “Guess Tom doesn’t understand no.” Rafe grinned. “Fair warning. Neither do I.”

  “I’ve noticed. I’m not accepting your invitation either.” Manon’s hands fisted. “I’ll see you at the hospital and our meetings will be professional. Don’t forget the lab work. With Mrs. Patton’s illness I’m sure the Board will be glad to see you start early.”

  “And you?”

  “I’m glad you’re alive but I have no desire to relive the past.” Even thinking about those three lonely years touring with her father made her ill. She had loved and lost. Never again.

  Anger stirred. Was Rafe aware she knew about the money her father had given him to leave town? She couldn’t forgive Rafe’s willingness to take a bribe.

  The front door slammed. She pressed her hands against her eyes to halt tears. Why did she care?

  Drawing a deep breath, she reviewed lab results sent from the hospital and posted them to the appropriate charts. She closed the computer, rose and glanced out the window. The distant rumble of a motorcycle reach
ed her.

  Time to go home, she thought. She paused to clear the room where she’d examined Rafe. After pulling the paper covering the examining table to the clean section, she brought the used piece to her face and inhaled Rafe’s scent.

  For a moment, she drifted in memory. Anger with herself rose. She crushed the paper and shoved it in the trash. Her hands clenched. How much time would elapse before she developed immunity to his presence? Quickly, she processed the rest of the room, checked the doors and windows and left.

  As she strode to the door, she considered a visit to the hospital to check her patients. Rafe would be there and she had no desire for another encounter. She picked up the phone on the reception desk and dialed the hospital. Two patients were scheduled for tests in the morning. She switched to CCU.

  A nurse answered on the third ring. “Dr. Lockley, here. How’s Mrs. Patton?”

  “No more chest pain. Vitals are good. Her grandson is here. Heard he’s our new director. Hearts are going to break fast around here. He’s hot.”

  “I know.” Manon disconnected. If Rafe made a fifty something woman’s heart beat faster, how many of the younger nurses would see him as a potential love interest? She vowed she wouldn’t be one of the flock but she feared she would break that vow.

  * * *

  Rafe slammed the door of Manon's office and strode to his bike. That had been an interesting meeting and hadn’t gone well. Manon had changed from the girl he had remembered and loved. Still did. What had happened in the past mattered but only to help reclaim his memories and for her to learn the truth.

  She was beautiful. Tall and stacked. Short blonde hair. Blue-gray eyes reminded him of the waters of Fern Lane on a stormy day. Myriad emotions had flared in their depths. Among those he’d seen were anger, sadness and a desire she had tried to hide.

  He fastened his helmet. One thing hadn’t changed. Tom still sniffed around hoping to catch a crumb of Manon’s attention.

  Rafe started the Harley, twin to the one he’d ridden out of town. Though Manon had brushed him off as quickly as she had Tom, Rafe made a vow. He refused to walk away until they talked. Once the truth was known, he would make a decision about where he headed. Hopefully with her. Living in the same town, working at the same place and not being with her would be hard.