The Unexpected Demon

by Simon Waldock

"What's a pain-organ?" I asked, although I could make a guess from the name.

  "It's a magical keyboard instrument and it's dreadfully difficult to play," Chessina explained. "It has a sort of a cage and someone is put in it and then the keys that you depress cause them various amounts and kinds of pain in various places on their bodies. Then the magic of the instrument causes the person's agony to come out in various notes and discords. It sounds magnificent when played well, but if you don’t play it properly the notes come out all sour."

  I listened to this explanation in open mouthed horror.

  "Chessina, that's horrible, monstrous," I managed to say.

  "Why, master?" she asked, in genuine incomprehension.

  "It is considered wrong, in all mortal societies, to gain pleasure from another's pain," I said.

  "But master, weren't you going to devise a spell of eternal genital itch and cast it on Pennover?" Chessina asked, looking puzzled. "And you were really amused by it."

  "I . . . I was going to say that's different," I said, slowly, "But it's not. You're right, I was going to get enjoyment from Pennover being tormented for the rest of his life, and that's wrong."

  I paused for a moment, and then continued.

  "Harmon once said to me, 'Being a wizard is to have great power, and with that comes great responsibility. If you abuse that power you can become a monster, and that descent can be extraordinarily rapid.' and he was right. Thank you Chessina, you have pointed out that I can do horrible things without thinking," I said, feeling suddenly cold.

  "Do you think I'm monstrous, master," Chessina asked in a small voice.

  "You have done monstrous things, because you didn't know they were monstrous," I answered, somewhat evasively.

  According to everything I had read about demons, they are absolutely monstrous with no redeeming features. They cannot conceive of altruism, kindness, generosity or anything but total evil. I remember though Harmon once saying, 'There are very few absolutes, and books aren't always correct.' I prayed to the Gods that this was so. I was then struck by inspiration, maybe thanks to the Gods, who knows.

  "I know what to do about Pennover though," I told Chessina, "I'm going to curse him to have asses' ears. It's a fairly simple curse to cast, even without being able to see him directly. When he pays me what he owes, I'll take them off. I hope the Gods won't mind too much if I giggle a bit though."

  "You shouldn't take them off until he apologises to you for the way he treated you as well master, like a servant, not a . . . a," Chessina stopped, seeking a word.

  "A professional for hire," I completed the sentence.

  "That's the word I wanted, master," said Chessina in satisfaction.

  "Please remind me tomorrow and I'll see if I can find any instruments for you," I said. I shouldn't let what Chessina had done in ignorance stop her from taking pleasure that didn't cause pain.

  "Now you've rested master, I have something to show you," Chessina purred.

  oOo

  At breakfast next morning, I had a surprise waiting for me, no not that sort of surprise, get your mind out of the gutter. It was a letter from none other than Dragovar, the Royal Wizard.

  "Is it trapped, master?" Chessina asked, looking warily at the missive.

  "No, the tower wouldn't admit it if it was," I said, repeating one of the things Harmon had told me.

  "What does it say, master? asked Chessina, impatiently.

  "I'll read it to you." I said.

  To my most respected brother in magic Castamir. Wizard of the Tower,

  "What does he want?" I wondered out loud.

  "To butter you up, master," replied Chessina, "To try to get you to do what he wants."

  May I first express to you, my esteemed colleague my congratulations, possibly belated, on assuming the mantle of the late, lamented Harmon.

  "Lamented? In a pig's eye," I expostulated

  Harmon and I had our differences, but I always respected him.

  "That might be true, I suppose," I admitted grudgingly.

  Perhaps now the niceties are out of the way, you will not mind if I come to the point, man to man. Without in any way inferring an apology for the existence of my idiotic nephew, I am most regretful that he has managed to make a nuisance of himself. My brother is writing to him and I will be sending the letter for my brother. I trust that my brother's letter will have the desired effect, but I fear it will not. I have been trying to think of a tactful way of putting this, but I am afraid I cannot. Therefore, please don't do anything too unpleasant or permanent to the little cretin, however great the temptation. His mother loves him and she is very loud when she gets upset.

  Dragovar, Royal Wizard

  "It looks like your lesson in casting curses at a distance has been cancelled, or at least postponed," I said. "I have to give him the chance to make amends."

  "Oww. How boring for you master," Chessina said, pouting slightly. She then shrugged and returned to her breakfast.

  Pennover at least had the decency to allow us to finish our meal this time, before I heard his well-known and unloved voice yelling and screaming as he came up the path. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but whatever it was he was saying it loudly.

  I went out onto the balcony in some curiosity to see what he would do. I couldn't make out exactly what Pennover was ranting about, but the gist of it seemed to be:

  1, He ought to own the tower

  2, I should be his wizard

  3, I was only a commoner while he was a noble

  4, Most of all that it wasn't fair!

  During this rant he actually drew his sword and was waving it around wildly. Whatever his father, the Duke had written to Pennover hadn't made much of an impact. I looked down in disgust at the ranting fool, remembered the request in Dragovar's letter and said, in a voice loud enough for the bodyguards to hear,

  "I'm tired of these endless discussions," and then, quite obviously and with deliberation, cast the asses' ears curse. Just as I had finished, Chessina hissed at me from inside the room,

  "Come back inside master, and let me handle it. Watch and learn master, watch and learn."

  Pennover had just finished screaming in pain, what a wimp I thought, it's not that painful. And yes, I have had it cast on me. Master Harmon did it during my first spell defence lesson. Pennover was now screaming,

  "What have you done?" and "Take it off!"

  Chessina strode to the edge of the balcony, pointed at one of the bodyguards and said, in an imperious tone,

  "You, shut him up. If you don't, my master will."

  There was a brief struggle during which Pennover was quickly disarmed, and then blessed quiet as one of the bodyguards had stuffed a kerchief in Pennover's mouth. I wondered idly how clean it was and decided I didn't care.

  "What has my master done to you Pennover?" she said, as though speaking to a backward child. "I should have thought that would be obvious even to an inadequate like you. He has cast the asses’ ears curse on you for your contumelious and rude behaviour. He will remove it as soon as you have paid the thousand silvers you owe him for retrieving your amulet as well as another thousand to the dependants of the bodyguard you killed with your carelessness."

  I winced at the first sum, it was much greater than reasonable, and I almost burst with pride as Chessina mentioned the second. She had thought of someone else besides her and me, even if her main motive might well be to incline Pennover's bodyguards to think well of us. Chessina continued to speak.

  "He should have known that the pool is called Devilfish Pool by the locals and that they avoid it. He bears responsibility for that unfortunate man's death. In addition to the two sums mentioned, you Lord Pennover will issue a full apology for the contumelious way you have behaved to my master the Wizard of the Tower."

  Contumelious, I could see Chessina liked the word. She hadn't finished yet though, and continued,

  "Indeed Lord Pennover you should be extremely grateful to my master for his patien
ce and forbearance in not disciplining you previously or using much more serious punishment now." She then pointed at the bodyguards and said,

  "I think you should take your master back to his house and have Matille the wise woman give him something to calm him down. She is to be paid and not mistreated in any way. Indeed, my master has taken the village of Fair Pastures under his protection, and any who mistreat any of his people should beware of his wrath. You may go."

  Having issued her instructions Chessina turned on her heel and strode into the tower, with her nose in the air. Did I mention that she had a very attractive nose?

  "And that master, is how you do it," she said gravely, and then completely spoiled the pose by adding, "Oh that was fun, I did enjoy it master."

  oOo

  After we had had a cup of tea and laughed ourselves silly, I turned to Chessina and said,

  "I really need to reply to Dragovar, thank him for his letter and let him know what's going on." I thought for a moment and continued, "I've just remembered something about the sword Pennover was waving. It was decorated in exactly the same style as the amulet you recovered. I think it and the amulet are matched which increases the magical potency of each item. I doubt if the Duke's ancestors, as I think the amulet is quite old, would bother to commission just a pair of items, so there are probably more that go together. In that case the collection of items is called a parure, and usually an amulet would be the centrepiece around which they all function. No wonder Pennover was so keen to get his amulet back. What possessed him to play with such an important thing on the banks of a pool?"

  I stopped and looked straight at Chessina and said,

  "I'm really proud of you Chessina, for remembering that unfortunate bodyguard, and what's more remembering his dependents. Remembering that mortals do care for others, not just ourselves."

  "I want to please you, master," Chessina said, simply.

  "You do," I replied, "I may find other things that you do more enjoyable, but what you have just done pleases me the most. Now, we have a letter to compose."

  "We? Do you want my help, master?" asked Chessina.

  "After that demonstration? Of course I do. You are very good at this sort of thing," I replied.

  oOo

  After much discussion, this is what we came up with.

  To my most respected and puissant brother in magic, Dragovar Royal Wizard,

  First of all, let me thank you for your congratulations on becoming Wizard of the Tower. It was with a heavy heart that I took up this office many years before I would have wished. Although I feel Harmon's loss particularly poignantly, I recognise that his untimely death diminishes the entire magical community.

  I am grateful for the frank and open way you discussed the problem of Lord Pennover and I have attempted to accede to your requests. Unfortunately, and I am sure you winced at that word, unfortunately whatever words of wisdom your brother Duke Brandell wrote to his son were ignored. As Pennover came ranting to my door once again, and using most intemperate language I felt I had to discipline him. Due to your entreaties I merely altered his appearance with asses’ ears. As he then waved his sword most threateningly, his bodyguard were entreated to convey Pennover homewards and to procure him calming draughts. On further reflection, Pennover's entire behaviour is most erratic and makes me concerned that a parure of such potency should be in the hands of such a volatile member of your family. I am sorry to have to be the bearer of such unpleasant tidings.

  Castamir, Wizard of the Tower

  Chapter 7

  "That's good Chessina," I said, "You cast the spell very well that time, the gestures were much more precise."

  "Thank you, master," Chessina looked pleased at the praise. She deserved it, she had been working very hard.

  "Paradoxically I think that the reason you have trouble with standard spell-casting, is that up until now, magic has been too easy for you," I said. "You cast at will so you can afford to be sloppy. I think you need some theory now, so you know why wizards do what we do. I'm going to lecture you for a bit."

  I clapped my hands and said "Tower, tea for two please." Chessina sat and sipped her tea, grateful for the rest I think. We had practiced casting for almost an hour.

  "Wizards cast spells by the grace of Arcana, goddess of magic, often called poetically Our Lady of Mysteries, or somewhat more obscurely, She of the Thousand Names. According to wizardly lore, she has nine hundred and ninety-nine names, but I don't think poets found that easy to rhyme so they changed it."

  "Is the number of names Arcana has important master?" Chessina asked.

  "The precise number, no." I replied, "What is important are the names themselves. Each name represents, and defines an aspect of magic. Arcana is an all-encompassing name meaning magic, but for example, conjura defines summoning creatures, telesima defines creating minor objects, maestra defines controlling creatures and so on."

  "Does knowing the names mean you can cast magic?" Asked Chessina earnestly.

  "Simple spells can be learned and cast by rote if one has the talent," I said. "But for complex spells you need to know the name that defines that aspect of magic. In order to really master an aspect of magic you need to understand the concept behind the defining name. If you have mastered a name you can cast any spell that name defines with only a thought."

  "Have you mastered any names, master?" said Chessina.

  "Only one, utilitaria, the simple spells, the cantrips," I said. "And I mastered it, without realising that I had. I practiced and practiced until I could cast them with just a thought. Then Harmon told me that I had mastered a name. He told me that I had taken my first step into a larger universe."

  "How many names had Harmon mastered?" Chessina asked.

  "I asked him that once, and he replied 'not enough, Castamir, not enough.' I am getting close to mastery of another name though," I continued, "telesima the making of minor magic items, simple potions, minor wands and such."

  "Master, is there a name that means changing or altering things?" Chessina asked with an intent look on her face.

  "Yes, transmogria, why?" I asked.

  "Because when I alter clothing and fabric and wood, I'm thinking in the back of my mind the word 'screzoria' in demonic. I can't change metals or stone or anything hard though," Chessina replied.

  "Try now on . . . on my handkerchief." I said getting it out of my pocket. "Try using transmogria Chessina."

  Chessina stared at the fabric, and at once it turned sky-blue. It was also now, no longer linen, but silk.

  "I did it, master. It worked," she said, awed.

  I went over to her and hugged her.

  "Well done," I said. Letting go of her I went on, eagerly, "the tea-spoon Chessina, try to bend the spoon."

  She looked intently at the spoon, frowning in effort, and then, gradually the spoon began to bend. It continued to bend until it was wrapped in a circle.

  "I can do it master, I can do it," I took Chessina in my arms and kissed her.

  oOo

  "No, Chessina, that's enough," I said, firmly, getting up from the sofa where we had been . . . celebrating, Chessina's new-found ability.

  "Oww, do we have to master?" Chessina asked.

  "Yes, we need to continue your lessons," I said. "Your magical lessons." I added as she opened her mouth. Any further protest was interrupted by the arrival of a letter on the desk accompanied by a soft, bell-like tone.

  "It's from Dragovar,” I said having opened it.

  "Read it please, master," said Chessina

  My Dear Castamir,

  I received a letter from my nephew this morning. On perusing the contents, I realise I must deal with him straight away and in person. I have my brother's consent and I have obtained leave from the king to do so.

  I would like to discuss the matter with you before I see my nephew. I hope this meets with your approval.

  "I wonder what Dragovar would do if it didn't?" I said.

  In haste,

/>   Dragovar

  "Are you going to see Dragovar, master?" asked Chessina.

  "I'll see just about anybody if it will stop Pennover being a nuisance," I replied. "Now, back to your lessons, magic lessons," I insisted.

  oOo

  "What's that noise, master?" Chessina asked as a clear, sharp tone sounded.

  "There's a magic user of some kind approaching," I replied. "Harmon didn't bother to have the tower make announcements when someone mundane approached, as the locals visited him quite often."

  I went down to the tower door with Chessina on my heels. When we got there I gestured to the mirror placed to the left of the door. The mirror now showed what, or in this case, who was outside the door. It was Dragovar, the Royal Wizard. I quickly moved the mirror's viewpoint around with hand movements to see if he was alone, he was.

  "I can use this and other mirrors, to see all round the outside of the tower if I wish." I explained to Chessina, "I'll show you how to use it later."

  I opened the door.

  Dragovar presented an imposing figure, he was taller than I but quite slender with short dark hair, piecing green eyes and the family beak of a nose. Pennover must take after his mother.

  "Good day, Royal Wizard. Please come in." I bowed to Dragovar as I spoke.

  "Thank you, Towermaster," He replied. "May we dispense with formality, please. I am in rather a hurry."

  "Dragovar, my I present my apprentice Chessina, Chessina may I present Dragovar, the Royal Mage." I made the formal introductions. Each bowed to the other. "Not in too much of a hurry to take tea, I hope?"

  "Thank you, I would love one. Flying always makes me thirsty," Dragovar said. He gestured to the invisible force carrying what I assumed was a rug of travel and it placed the bundle in a rack by the door.