Wholehearted

by Ronica Black

  “She’s gonna make me run. I’m gonna get the shit chores.”

  “I’m going as fast as I can.”

  “Then go faster!” He whipped his damp hair behind his ears and snugged on his ball cap. “This is a joke, Aunt Grace.”

  She looked at him in shock and they hit a hole. The car jolted a little but she caught control.

  “Jesus Christ!” Jake shouted. “You’re gonna kill us.”

  She yelled back. “I’m doing the best I can, Jake!”

  “Well, maybe your best isn’t good enough!”

  “I—” But the words penetrated and they bit into her conscience. She floored the Mercedes as she turned at the ranch sign, forcing the vehicles leaving to pull off to the side.

  “Hurry, Aunt Grace, hurry! It’s six forty-seven!”

  “Jake, shut up, please just shut up! I can’t go any faster.”

  She saw Madison Clark directly ahead, clipboard in hand, scowl on her face. Grace slammed on the brakes as three dogs came at her from the front and sides. The car halted fiercely, jerking her and Jake in their seat belts. Dust shrouded them and the dogs yipped outside the vehicle. Jake was out of the car and scrambling toward Madison before Grace could put the car in park. She saw him run up to her, throw up his hands, and then bow his head as she spoke.

  “Shit.” Grace crawled from the car and walked carefully in her plum-colored high heels and matching suit. She shooed the dogs that enclosed her, still yipping. They stopped once she reached Jake and Madison.

  “Tell her, Aunt Grace. Tell her it’s your fault,” Jake pleaded breathlessly.

  “It is. I’m terribly sorry. Please don’t punish him for it. I woke up late and—”

  Madison blinked but said nothing. Then she looked at her clipboard. “You’re three minutes late, Jake. Get started on those laps.”

  “But—”

  “Yes, ma’am?”

  He closed his mouth, gave Grace a deadly look, and took off.

  Madison watched him for a moment. “The run’ll do him good. Get rid of that anger. It’s too early for that kind of anger.”

  “In my opinion he has a right to be angry. It’s my fault we’re late. I woke up late and I had to get Jake going—”

  “Jake doesn’t have an alarm clock?”

  Grace stammered. “Uh, yes, but…”

  “But what?”

  She stopped and stared at her. She was every bit the same stern cowgirl she was before. Only her jeans were worn and faded and fit loosely. A thick brown leather belt held them up on her trim waist, with a faded navy T-shirt tucked haphazardly in on one side. She was a lesbian’s dream, but Grace only tasted the acid the woman brought up in her.

  “Look, I’m sorry he’s late.”

  “Don’t apologize to me,” she said as she eyed Jake, who was running and breathing hard, his face already red.

  “I—”

  “Yes?”

  “Nothing.” Grace turned, walked carefully to her car, and brought out his water cooler. She set it on the ground along with the $3.50 for lunch. “It won’t happen again.”

  “Let’s hope not.” She eyed Grace quickly, sweeping her gaze up and down her body. Then she tugged on her hat. “Have a nice day.”

  Grace remained still, wondering about the look. Was it interest? Or contempt? Did it matter?

  She waved to Jake and turned to leave. The white dog followed her, touching a cold nose to her leg. Grace climbed in the car and was disappointed to find that Madison had moved toward the stables.

  “Did I want her to watch me or what?”

  She started the car and backed out. The dog chased her all the way down the dirt road.

  Chapter Eight

  “It wasn’t my fault,” Jake said as he stumbled up to Madison and bent. He coughed and spat and sucked in hurried breaths.

  “Stand straight and breathe deeply. It helps.” Madison was brushing down Draco, her blackest and wildest gelding.

  Jake hesitated but then did as instructed. He even raised his arms. “Aunt Grace, she woke up so late I hardly had time to eat. I had to eat my cereal in the car.”

  “I suppose you want me to pity you, then? Feel badly?”

  He looked appalled. “Well, just know it wasn’t my fault.”

  “I think some of it was.”

  “What?”

  He reached up and tried to pet Draco, but the gelding turned his head.

  “You need to be responsible for you, Jake. As a young man.”

  “But I—”

  “That means setting your own alarm, making sure you have the proper clothes ready, making your own lunch, and getting your own water. You don’t need to wait for your aunt.”

  “She always wakes me up.”

  “But she’s late. So take responsibility for yourself and take care of it. Do it all yourself. You’re well old enough.”

  “What if she’s still late?”

  “Wake her up. Help her out.”

  He crossed his arms. “I shouldn’t have to.”

  “She shouldn’t have to do those things for you either, but she does. She does it because she loves you.”

  “She does not. I’m just a burden. A thorn in her ass.”

  “I’m not going to pity you, Jake. And you owe me a lap for cursing.”

  He stomped his foot and stifled another curse.

  “Do yourself a favor, Jake. Do the things I told you to do. Get up on your own and get ready. It will help your aunt out, and if she’s late again we’ll talk, okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Go do that lap and then help Michael.”

  “I gotta do the shit chores again?”

  “That’s another lap.”

  He sauntered off, mumbling.

  Madison fit a bit into Draco’s mouth and harnessed him with a rein. He fought at first like he always did but eventually calmed enough to be led from the stables. The sun was starting to shine brightly as she walked him into the main pen. Two of her more seasoned boys were waiting, watching her closely. Marv was also there, leaning on the rails.

  “He’s a real looker, that wild one.”

  “Yes, he is,” Madison said. “Too bad he’s not well behaved.” She stopped with the horse in the middle of the pen. “Okay, boys, watch closely. We’re going to continue working with Draco today. I’m going to run him for a little while and then one of you can.” In the distance she saw Jake approach, sweat covering his face. He’d just finished running and was interested in watching. She couldn’t afford to give him that luxury, though.

  “Marv, will you show Jake where Michael is?”

  “Sure thing.”

  “Can’t I watch? Just for a little while?”

  “Not now, Jake. You’ve got chores.”

  “Why aren’t they doing their chores?”

  Draco pulled away from his loud voice, and she calmed him. “First of all, Jake, I don’t have to answer to you. Secondly, these boys did their morning chores while you were busy running. Thirdly, they’ve earned the right and learned the ability to be able to work with this horse. One day you may too. But you better start with minding me and doing your chores without whining and questioning.”

  “Come on, Jake.” Marv led him away, but not before Madison caught the angry and embarrassed look on his face. The boy was going to be hard to break. More so than Draco.

  She ticked at Draco and got him started. She first led him into a walk around her and then eventually into a trot. She checked out his form, his muscles, and his movements. He looked gorgeous with the sun shining off his inky skin. He truly was a beautiful horse. But then he started fighting her, tugging a little here and there. Once she had him straightened out again, she stopped and called in the boys. One at a time she let them try, with her right there next to them. Two weeks ago it would’ve been impossible, but Draco had come along well with his training. He allowed both boys to run him for about a minute before he star
ted acting up, at which point she took the rope. She ran him some more, instructing the boys and talking to Draco, ticking at him and giving him praise. When she finished she allowed the boys to help again, this time simply walking him around the pen. He’d worked up a good sweat and he needed calming and cooling down. Then she’d let the boys brush him and feed him and allow him to graze for a while. It was good therapy for both Draco and the boys. Horses had a way with people. A way she couldn’t quite explain with words. It was the same with dogs. Hers rose as she headed to the side porch for some water. They followed with the exception of Lila, who stayed near the stables, keeping everyone in her sight.

  Madison settled in for some water from the big serving cooler. She went over Jake’s file in her mind. There wasn’t much she didn’t already know, and most of his criminal record wasn’t on hand. But the judge had provided her with enough to work with. He had been neglected by his mother, who was addicted to drugs. His aunt had intervened and gained temporary custody about six months ago. Truancy was his main issue, along with a brief scuffle with the law.

  Grace Hollings was an attorney, and a good one, based on the website she’d checked out. She was also in way over her head with Jake, and Madison was finding it more and more difficult not to talk to her about it. She could see her sinking and wondered how much she did indeed care. How hard was it to get up a little bit earlier to make sure Jake got here on time? Did she think her excuses would get him off? She made a note to talk to her about it again this evening. She’d seen this behavior in other parents, but from Grace it annoyed her more. Was it because she was beautiful? Or because she was so self-righteous?

  Her beauty did have its advantages. Madison had caught herself looking today and she was still upset over it. But the dark purple suit with the gray blouse had really set off Grace’s hair and skin, and Madison wanted to drink her like a tall glass of water and just stare at her for a long, long while, looking at those long, long legs in those heels, wondering what was underneath the suit—

  She shook her from her mind and looked over her clipboard. So far they were set for the week. No new horses and no new kids. At least not so far. But calls came in at all hours when it came to the horses. And new boys were always being sentenced, either by their parents or the courts. She preferred to start them on Mondays but had made exceptions before.

  A loud horse whinny startled her from her seat. She flew to the edge of the deck as it continued, followed by shouts and galloping chaos. She jumped the deck and headed for the main pen looking for the boys and Draco. But neither was there. She followed a huge mass of floating dust to where three of them stood along with Marv.

  “He’s gone off on Draco!” Marv said.

  “Who?”

  “Jake!”

  Marv ran to give chase as she caught sight of boy and horse rounding the stables. “Oh God.” Jake was bouncing, barely hanging on, and Draco started to buck. She took off at a sprint just as Jake was thrown from the horse. Draco continued on at a mad bucking, wild pace, but at least he cleared the boy. She shouted at Bobby as he ran out from the stables, arms and hands wet from bathing Mazey. “Go get Draco! He’s loose.”

  Marv reached Jake first and when she came up on them, she knelt and told him not to move.

  “His arm,” Marv said. “Says it’s broke.”

  “Jake? Jake, can you talk to me?” She heard him sobbing. “Jake, are you all right?”

  “No.”

  “What hurts?”

  “My arm.”

  “Anything else?”

  “I don’t know. My wrist is killing me.”

  “Does your back hurt? Your neck?”

  “No.”

  “Well, lie still. I need to get EMS out here.”

  “What? No!”

  He rolled over and stood despite Marv trying to hold him down. “You call the hospital and I’ll run off right now.”

  He held his wrist in his right hand, tears streaking his dirty face.

  “Jake, we have to call. And we have to call your aunt too.” She nodded at Marv, who moved away to make the call. “But don’t worry about that. Come on. Let’s get in the shade over on the patio.” The other boys caught up, curious and frightened.

  “He’s okay. He’s okay.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and led him across the ranch. The boys followed along with the dogs. Lila was panting, having chased Draco and Jake as they rounded the stables. Madison scratched her head and eased Jake down into a chair. His body shook and his brow was bleeding. The rest of him looked to be intact. Filthy but intact.

  “Man, that was crazy,” one of the boys said.

  “Yeah, killer crazy. The way you took off on him. No saddle or nothing!”

  Madison turned with a stern look. “Go on back to your duties.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” They walked away slowly, some slapping their hats on their thighs. She saw Bobby round the corner with another staff member. They had Draco in tow and were checking him over for injury. He seemed to be okay, but he needed to walk and calm down. She was glad to see Bobby take him back to the pen to do just that.

  She pulled a chair up next to Jake and touched his shoulder. He was still trembling, but he jerked nevertheless.

  “Jake?” She turned his chin. “Jake, look at me.” She was speaking softly. “Tell me how you are. Does your head hurt?”

  “No.” But then he flinched when he touched his brow. “I don’t know.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  He turned away. “You’re gonna yell at me. Or make me run. Well, I can’t run.”

  She shook her head and laughed softly. This caused him to turn back. “You mean you’re not mad?” he said.

  “No, I’m not mad.” She’d had boys cause more ruckus than this little episode. She just hoped Jake and Draco would be okay.

  “How come?”

  “I was scared, Jake. Scared for you, scared for my horse. Looks like you took the worst of it, though.”

  “That makes you happy? That I got hurt and he didn’t?”

  Whoa. This kid really felt unloved and unworthy.

  “No. I’m glad you’re both relatively okay. Even though you’re the one who chose to do this. Draco sure didn’t.” She couldn’t let him off the hook.

  He licked his lips and stared at his boots. “What did you want to ask?”

  She sat back and crossed her legs. “Why did you do it?”

  He breathed deeply and she was relieved to see that he didn’t seem to have any rib pain. She also didn’t notice any knots on his head. His arm, best she could make out, was either sprained or fractured. There were no cuts or protrusions. Just the one on his brow. It would need a butterfly bandage or a few stitches, but so far he didn’t seem seriously injured.

  “I got upset.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I had to run, like, five freaking miles and then I had to clean up shit. It isn’t fair!”

  “It is fair, Jake. Those are the rules. Dozens of boys just like you have had to follow them and they didn’t like it either at first. But the rules are there for a reason. They keep us safe and they keep us responsible.”

  He didn’t seem to like her answer.

  “You see Bobby over there?”

  He nodded while playing with his sore wrist.

  “He came here about six years ago. Court ordered, just like you.”

  “Really?” He studied him.

  “Yes, and let me tell you, he hated it here. With a capital H. I won’t tell you all he did, but he wasn’t a fan of the rules and he ran so much he lost ten pounds in two weeks.”

  “What happened? I mean, why is he here now?”

  “Because he grew to love it. We got Mazey when he was here and he just fell in love with her and she with him. They helped each other heal and he never looked back. He graduated from high school and came to me and asked if he could volunteer. He did so well I took him on.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to love it.”


  She laughed again. “Never say never, Jake. Not around here.”

  “Have other boys loved it? I mean, I know your two favorites do.”

  “My favorites?”

  “The ones with Draco.”

  “They earned that spot, Jake. The work you’ve done? Multiply it by twenty and add about four more miles.”

  “You don’t like them better?”

  “No. I don’t have favorites. I have workers. I have boys who need help. I have horses who need help too. Mix it all together and that’s what I focus on. When the boys listen and help and do as they are told, I appreciate it. They get to spend more one-on-one time with the horses, which benefits the both of them.”

  “How can a horse help me?” He flinched as he moved his arm.

  “You wait and see.”

  “What about Draco?”

  “What about him?”

  “Can I work with him?”

  “Maybe.”

  “He’s cool. I like him.”

  “What about that colt?”

  He shrugged. “He’s okay. He’s cute.”

  “Marv thinks you did well with him.”

  “I didn’t do anything special.”

  “Someone say my name?” Marv asked as he stepped out of the house. He touched Madison on the shoulder. “EMS should be here soon. His aunt’s on her way. She didn’t sound too happy.”

  “By the time she gets here he’ll be gone.”

  “I told you I’m not going to any hospital!” He tried to stand, but Marv helped him remain with a gentle push on his shoulders.

  “There, there. No one said anything about a hospital, okay?” he said, giving Madison a concerned look.

  “You may need stitches, Jake. And that arm needs an x-ray.”

  “I said no! I just want Aunt Grace to get here.” He dissolved into sudden tears.

  “She said she’s not too far out. Was out meeting witnesses or clients or something.”

  Madison rose and covered him with a light blanket. She too touched his shoulder. He jerked, but only from his desperate-sounding sobs. Why didn’t this kid want to go to a hospital? She leaned forward and placed her hand over his. He continued to cry for a few more minutes, eventually moving his hand away and quieting. Around them, the ranch carried on. Birds sang, boys called out, and horses grazed in the pens. Jake watched through watery eyes until eventually Marv pointed.