by Portia Moore
To my surprise, when the client walks in and waves at me to get my attention, Jade is walking in next to her. She looks as gorgeous as ever in a fitted emerald green dress and black heels, her hair loose, but I can’t find it in myself to have the same reaction to her that I did before. Maybe it’s living with Madison, or feeling the baby kick just a few hours before, but I don’t feel the same rush of attraction that I did in the past when I saw Jade walk into a room.
I cross the room to meet them with some apprehension—Jade and I haven’t talked since I texted her to tell her I was taking a break from dating—and offer a hand to shake as I greet the client.
“I’m Alex,” I introduce myself. “Nice to meet you. I’m looking forward to working together.”
“I’m Natalie,” the client says, smiling at me. “And this is my sister Jade, she’s a PR agent, so I thought maybe she’d be helpful if she came along.”
“We’ve met before,” Jade says, her voice slightly tense, and Natalie glances over at her.
There’s a moment of silence while Jade and I look at each other, and then Natalie shifts. “Well, I need a glass of water,” she says. “So I’ll let you two catch up while I grab that, and then we can get down to business.”
“I didn’t know this was your sister’s event,” I say to Jade, perplexed, once Natalie is out of earshot.
Jade’s face is completely neutral as she looks at me. “I don’t do family events,” she says pleasantly. “Particularly stubborn younger sisters. But she wanted my advice, so I agreed to come along.”
I hesitate for a second and then decide to address the elephant in the room before Natalie comes back. “I’m sorry if my text to you seemed abrupt,” I tell her sincerely. “But there’s just a lot…”
She shrugs, waving a hand to cut me off. “I’m a big girl,” she says simply. “I can take a hint. But,” she continues with a smile, “if we’re not mixing business and pleasure, and you’re not interested in pleasure, I’d like to keep doing business with you. In fact, Alex, I’m interested in representing you.” She looks at me charmingly. “I think I could do a lot for you in the way of networking. My track record for building engagement for influencers is impressive, as I can show you…”
I smile, but shake my head, stopping her as she lists off her credentials. “I don’t know if that would be a good idea, Jade.”
“You seem wholly uninterested in me,” she says with a flip of her hair, “and that’s fine. I’m more interested in making money with you than anything else at this point, and I think we could be mutually beneficial to each other. So what do you think now?”
I laugh and catch sight of Natalie starting to head back towards us. “I’ll think about it,” I promise her. I can’t imagine how working with Jade would be anything but a bad idea right now, but it is tempting. I can feel that my career is at a turning point, and if she could help…
I shake my head, refocusing on Natalie and the meeting ahead of me. I have a client to deal with now, and that’s the thing I should worry about, not Jade and her offer.
28
Madison
I can’t hide how nervous I am on the drive over to Alex’s parents’ house. The last time I saw Kate, we didn’t exactly part on the best of terms, and I haven’t seen John since before Tiffany’s wedding, so I have no idea how he really feels about me. I’m fidgety and agitated, and Alex notices, reaching for my hand and squeezing it reassuringly as he drives.
He used to do that right before he would kiss it, I think, and for a moment my heart leaps in my chest as I wonder if he might. But he doesn’t, only sets it back in my lap with a small pat.
“My parents are really excited to see you,” he tells me, glancing over, and I give him a small, nervous smile.
“I am too,” I say, although I’m not sure if “excited” is the same thing as “nervous,” and then I laugh anxiously. “I don’t really think they’re excited to see me,” I tell him honestly. “I think they’re excited to see this one.” I rub my stomach gently, and Alex chuckles.
“Well, right now you’re one and the same,” he tells me. “But if you feel uncomfortable at all just tell me and we’ll leave, okay? I promise.”
That reassurance helps me relax a little, and I’m less tense by the time we arrive. When we walk in the door, both dogs greet us immediately, barking and hopping up and down as always, but they circle me with particular interest. Kate smiles as she walks through the doorway of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. “They know there’s a little one in there,” she says, smiling at me, and I see John and Alyssa come out as well, both appearing happy that we’ve arrived.
There are hugs all around. John and Alyssa both embrace me warmly, which makes me feel a little better. I knew Alyssa wasn’t upset with me, but I’m glad to know that John doesn’t seem angry either. Kate hugs me too, but it’s more reserved, even more so than in the past. She smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. It’s clear that I haven’t won her back even a little; all of her interest in me is focused on the grandbaby that I’m carrying.
She’s made my favorite dinner—short ribs and mashed potatoes—and that makes me feel a little warmer towards her. As we sit down to eat, Kate can’t stop looking at my stomach, which is showing just a little in the long dress that I’m wearing. “I’m so excited about the baby,” she tells me, patting my hand. “When do you find out if I’m having a granddaughter or a grandson?”
“Next week,” Alex says, and I’m grateful to him for chiming in on the conversation. “But we’ll tell you as soon as we find out, I promise.”
“Good,” Kate says decisively. “Because we need to know for gifts, and for planning a shower if you’re having one—Madison, have you thought about a shower yet?”
I hesitate. “I think we want to have one in Chicago,” I say hesitantly. “My mom and Melissa are planning something I think. I don’t really have any friends in New York to plan one, just Parker.”
“Well, we’ll see when the time comes,” Kate says placatingly, but her tone is sweet. “And all the doctor’s appointments have been going well?”
I barely have time to tell her that yes, they have, before John cuts in and asks: “And how are you feeling? Are you okay?”
“A little morning sickness still, but it’s getting better,” I tell him, and I can’t help but feel touched at how kind and almost coddling they all are, concerned for my well-being. Even though I know a lot of it is just because of the baby, it still feels good to be cared for, after everything.
Halfway through the meal I feel the baby move again, and I look over at Kate. “The baby is moving,” I tell her. “Do you want to feel?”
Kate puts her hand on my stomach immediately before the words are even completely out of my mouth, tears coming to her eyes when she feels the movement against her hand. “I can’t wait for this baby to be here,” she declares. “I’m going to spoil this little one so much, just you wait and see.”
“Oh, we believe you,” Alex says, laughing, and John smirks next to him, both of them clearly thinking the same thing.
I try to help clean up after dinner, but everyone shoos me out of the dining room, and so I go outside to get some fresh air. I ate way too much. Dinner was delicious, but now I feel like I need to be away from all of the smells of the food; the baby is protesting a little. The door opens a minute later and Alyssa comes out. She sits next to me on the porch and I look over at her with a smile.
“Mom won’t stop talking about the baby,” she says with a laugh. “I’m excited too but man, she is really going nuts.”
“I know,” I say, shaking my head. “But it’s good to know he or she will be so loved.” I pause. “How are you doing, though? We haven’t talked in a while.”
Alyssa shrugs. “I’m doing alright. I almost have enough money saved to move back into the city with a roommate.”
“Any luck on the job hunt?”
“I’ve mostly been doing Uber Eats and Instacart gigs usin
g my parents’ car,” she admits. “But I think I have some leads. I just need to be out of here,” she says, groaning.
“I’m sure,” I tell her, and she laughs.
“I love my parents, but they’re a lot. I enrolled in a photography course that starts in a few weeks, so I’m pretty excited about that. I’m just taking it one day at a time. Whatever happens, things will work out.” Alyssa pauses and grins at me. “I really think I believe that, you know?”
“I hope so,” I say softly.
“Are you and Alex getting back together?” Alyssa asks suddenly, looking at me curiously.
I pause, not caught off guard by her question at all, just considering what to say. I’m sure she and Alex have talked about this. I don’t know what exactly, but I want to be honest with her. “I don’t know,” I tell her finally. “Right now we’re not focused on that, I think. Just the baby and doing what’s best for him or her.”
“I can tell that he still loves you,” Alyssa says quietly, and then I make a small noise and she stops, concerned. “What is it?”
“The baby moved,” I tell her, still a little startled every time it happens. “Do you want to feel it?”
“Um…” Alyssa looks nervous. “I’m not sure.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “Here.” I reach for her hand and gently place it on my belly, letting her feel her little niece or nephew. The baby moves again and Alyssa looks at me wide-eyed, grinning. “That’s wild,” she says.
I laugh. “It really is.”
“I hope you two do get back together,” Alyssa says suddenly, looking at me intently. But I don’t say anything. I can’t.
At this point, I’m afraid to even let myself hope because I don’t know if it will ever happen. I can’t handle having my heart broken again. And more than anything, I don’t want to hurt Alex, ever again.
So I just sit on the porch with Alyssa, saying nothing, enjoying the evening. And like she said, I hope—if things are meant to work out, then they will.
29
Alex
I catch a glimpse of Madison and Alyssa out on the porch and decide not to disturb them, grabbing a beer instead and going into the living room with John while Kate shoos us out so she can load the dishwasher—my mother has insisted for years that no one does it correctly except for her. We learned to stop fighting with her about it.
As we sit down, John looks over at me, his expression one of concern. “So,” he says, glancing around to make sure Kate and Madison aren’t in earshot. “How have things really been?”
“A lot better than I expected,” I admit. “I was nervous about us moving in together; I thought that it might go bad. That we’d argue, or I wouldn’t be able to think about anything other than what happened, or we’d just avoid each other all the time and it would be awkward. But it hasn’t been like that at all. It’s been really easy—almost like things are how they were before. Almost.”
“But you’re not back together?”
I shake my head. “No. Madison told me that she wants me to be sure, and that she doesn’t want to talk about it until I am, one way or the other. That she wants me to want to be with her for her, and not because I’m trying to do the right thing for the baby. And the thing is…I still love her. Just as much as I ever did. But I don’t know if I can fully get past what happened.”
John seems to consider that for a moment, taking a sip of his beer. “You know,” he says finally, “I don’t think either your mother or I have ever told you this. But we almost split up when you were two.”
“What?” I look at him, shocked. I’d never even considered that my mother and John might have almost broken up—they’ve always had the best marriage I could imagine. “What happened?”
“Well, it was hard at first. Co-parenting with someone you’re not together with isn’t easy, and for me it wasn’t always easy being with someone who had a child and was co-parenting with another man. I had a lot of insecurities back then, a lot of worries that your mother was still in love with Jackson. He was intimidating—good-looking, rich, all the things that I was either insecure about or definitely wasn’t…I’ve never made a lot of money,” he says, laughing. “It was a lot for a twenty-something guy to handle. Girlfriend with a kid, rich and attractive guy as the dad, trying to figure out what my place was in all of that. Your mother and I argued a lot, and I was on the verge of walking. I didn’t think I was cut out for it, however much I loved her.”
“So what happened?” I ask curiously.
“She got pregnant with Alyssa,” John says bluntly. “And I wasn’t about to walk out on my kid, and I still loved your mother despite how hard things were. So I married her. It was at least partially for the baby, but it was the best decision I could have ever made because I was on the verge of losing a really good thing. I just couldn’t entirely see it beyond everything that was clouding my judgment. Having Alyssa reminded me that love is hard, and marriage is hard, but it’s worth fighting for.” He takes another sip of his beer and looks at me seriously. “Babies don’t fix what’s broken,” he cautions. “But sometimes they can bring together something that should never have been apart.”
I’m quiet, sitting there considering everything that he’s just told me. It’s a lot to take in, but I feel like I’m closer than ever to knowing what I should do.
“If you love Madison,” John says carefully, “you shouldn’t walk away from it just because you think it’s what you should do. You need to do what you want to do. What you feel is right.”
“Thank you,” I tell him sincerely. “It means a lot to hear that, coming from you. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
He smiles and stands up, patting me on the shoulder as he passes my chair. “I know you’ll make the right decision.”
And for the first time since everything happened, I feel as if he’s right.
Madison
I’m almost finished getting ready to leave for my appointment when my phone rings, and I see that it’s Melissa. I answer it quickly, putting it on speakerphone as I finish putting on my mascara. “Hey Mel, what is it? I’m getting ready to leave, my ultrasound appointment is in less than an hour. I find out if you’re getting a niece or a nephew today!”
“As excited as I am for you,” Melissa says, a trace of humor in her voice, “you can’t find out today, Madison. I’m planning on throwing a gender reveal party for you, and I can’t do that if you already know!”
“What?” I pause, surprised and blinking at the phone. “Why would you wait to tell me until the day of?” I ask her, trying hard to keep the irritation out of my voice and not entirely succeeding. “I was really excited about finding out today!”
“I hate to pull rank as the sister who’s getting married, but I would like to remind you that you’re going to look like you’re smuggling a beach ball in all of my wedding photos, and you owe me for that,” Melissa says, laughing. “So no arguing, okay?”
“Fine,” I sigh, trying to hide my disappointment. I appreciate the party—but I’ve been excited for today since the last appointment. I can only imagine how Alex is going to feel.
“Don’t worry,” Melissa assures me. “Parker and I are going to take care of everything. Is a month from now fine? We have a date picked if it is.”
“You expect me to wait a month to find out what my baby is going to be?” I exclaim, frowning down at the phone as if she can see me. “I’ve already started buying neutral baby clothes. I want to start picking out some other ones!”
“You can deal with it,” Melissa says firmly. “Trust me, it’s going to be worth it.”
“Alright,” I tell her. “But I’ve got to go, I’m going to be late otherwise. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. Love you,” Melissa says sweetly. “And don’t you dare find out!”
“I won’t,” I promise, and hang up the phone, grabbing my purse and hurrying downstairs to meet Alex in the parking lot.
“So, I have bad news,” I tell him as
I slide into the passenger’s seat, and he looks at me with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Not wrong, exactly,” I assure him. “But Melissa is planning a gender reveal party at my shower apparently, and she wants us to wait to find out what the baby is. ‘Wants’ is a nice term. She pretty much demanded and won’t be argued with.”
“That’s fine,” Alex says with a laugh. “I kind of like the idea of a surprise. And we’ll find out with all our family and friends there. I think it’s a good idea.”
I’m surprised that he’s as easygoing as he is. I expected him to be more disappointed like I am, but I’m glad that he’s not annoyed with Melissa. His mood helps cheer mine up, and I smile as I look over at him. “She’s planning it for a month from today. Is that alright?”
“I’ll make sure my schedule is clear,” he promises.
“And ask your mom if she can make the trip to Chicago? I’d like her there since it’s her grandchild too. I don’t want to exclude her,” I tell him.
He smiles gratefully at me. “I’ll let her know,” he promises. “I’m sure she’ll want to make it.”
At the appointment, we let the tech know that we’re doing a gender reveal so neither of us can know, and the tech gives us a secretive smile. “Surprises are always nice. I’ll put the results in a sealed envelope for you,” she agrees, and to my surprise Alex reaches for my hand as the ultrasound appears on the screen, squeezing it and not letting go as our baby shows up in black and white.
“Your little one is very healthy,” the tech says. “You’re about nineteen weeks now, and there’s a very good indication of the sex, but everything points to this being a pretty easy and healthy pregnancy, which is good.”
Alex’s face is shining as the tech prints out a picture and slips the answer into an envelope without us seeing, and I realize that he hasn’t let go of my hand. He’s still holding it all the way up until the tech steps out, and I sit up, wiping off my stomach and fixing my shirt.
