by Portia Moore
Madison is lying back on my chest on our couch. I’ve never been happier in my life than I am in that moment, having her in my arms, her skin against mine, cuddling with her in what feels like our apartment now, her new engagement ring glittering on her finger. We’re talking about baby names, and I frown at her latest suggestion, shaking my head with a laugh. “I don’t know about that one. What about Marcus? Or maybe Zachariah?”
“He’s just going to be called Mark or Zach,” Madison complains playfully, tilting her head up to look at me. “And I don’t like either of those nicknames.”
“Well, Jamie is short for Jamison, and I’m not crazy about that one either.” I kiss the top of her head. “Maybe we insist on no nicknames.”
“Everyone loves nicknames,” she informs me, and I reach down to rub her stomach. It’s so wild that my son is in there, I think, elated beyond belief every time the thought comes into my head. I can’t believe this is real sometimes, that I can trust in this, that this is truly going to be the rest of my life. My dream job, dream woman, dream family—it’s all coming true.
Madison’s phone rings then and she glances over at it, then grins as she answers it and puts it on speaker. “It’s Parker,” she informs me, leaning over. “Alex is here,” she tells Parker, who is saying something I can’t quite make out.
“That’s great!” she says over the phone, her voice high-pitched and excited. “Guess where me and Brad are!”
“Where?” Madison asks excitedly, glancing up at me, and I hear Parker squeal again.
“We’re in Vegas, bitch!” she shrieks. “Can you believe it?”
“Oh my God!” Madison gasps. “You better not have eloped without me!”
“I’m sorryyyy,” Parker draws out, still practically screaming. “It was so last minute and I didn’t want you to have to get on a plane as pregnant as you are, but I couldn’t wait to tell you!”
Madison’s expression falters a little, and I can tell that she’s sad to have missed Parker’s big day, but she sounds thrilled for her friend anyway. “I’m so happy for you,” she says sincerely. “I know how much you couldn’t wait to get married. That’s the only reason why I’m forgiving you! Congratulations honey!”
“And don’t worry,” Parker says quickly. “We’re still having the big wedding. Don’t tell anyone we’re already married, okay? We just wanted to also have something special just for us.”
“I won’t tell,” Madison promises. “Are you going to be back in time for Melissa’s wedding? It’s a week from now.”
“Yes, of course! We’re going to Mexico for three days and then we’ll come back so our parents don’t suspect anything. We want to keep it a secret.”
“I’m so excited for you!” Madison says again, and I can’t help thinking how lucky I am as she talks with Parker, how kind she is, excited for her friend even though she missed out on the actual wedding day, and that I’ve somehow found the best woman I could have to be my wife.
When Madison is finished talking to Parker, we finally pry ourselves off of the couch and make it out to the grocery store. It takes us twice as long to get through the aisles because Madison gets stopped at least four or five times by moms and grandmothers asking her how far along she is and them asking us what we’re having. Madison is practically glowing every time, happy to tell them, and I don’t even mind that we spend longer than usual in the store. It’s good to see how babies bring out the best in people, and I’m relaxed and happy instead of being irritated and in a rush. It feels good to slow down and enjoy the afternoon.
Madison has almost entirely taken over the cooking, which I don’t mind since I’ve been working crazy hours. It’s been wonderful to come home to dinner. The nights I’m home we’ve developed a habit of me sitting at the island and chatting with her as she cooks, and tonight is no different. She’s making baked chicken and asparagus, with nacho cheese over the asparagus, which I tease her about, but she just rolls her eyes and tells me she’s craving it, so if I don’t want it then there’s more for her.
After dinner, we sit on the couch, and she puts her feet up in my lap. “Would you mind rubbing them?” she asks, smiling sweetly at me, and I laugh as she puts Hell’s Kitchen on the television.
“After that dinner? I’d kiss them if you wanted me to,” I tell her, and gently rub her feet as we settle comfortably into the couch. Ally comes into the room, meowing, and jumps into Madison’s lap. She purrs as Madison pets her until she finally starts to fall asleep, a soft furry pile that slowly slides off of Madison and next to her on the couch, still asleep.
I look over at her, beautiful and peaceful on the couch, more serene than I’ve ever seen her as she cuddles with the cat, and I can’t believe that we’re here. “Did you ever think that we’d be where we are?” I ask Madison quietly. She looks up at me, her eyes sparkling and full of love as they meet mine.
“I hoped so,” she says softly. I lean forward then, kissing her forehead gently and running a hand through her hair.
“Me too,” I whisper. “I hoped so too.”
34
Madison
The day of Melissa’s wedding turns out more perfect than any of us had even dared to hope. The sky is cloudless and blue, the weather clear and cool, and everything so far, by the time my mother and I go up to Melissa’s hotel room to help her get ready, is going smoothly.
The wedding is going to be small and intimate, exactly what I want for Alex and me too. I make mental notes as I help Melissa curl her hair, pinning it up to let the curls set as my mother helps set out the jewelry and shoes. I get the wedding dress out of the closet. Melissa laughs nervously as I start to fluff the skirt out, hanging it up in front of the window so that we can get a good picture.
“I’m so nervous,” Melissa says, fidgeting in the seat as she brushes highlight over her cheekbones and turns her face this way and that. “What if the dress doesn’t look good after all? Or it falls apart or something?”
“It’s perfect,” I tell her. “And you’re going to look perfect in it.” I take it off the hanger once we get pictures and hold it for Melissa to step into, buttoning up the back as she adjusts it and steps into her shoes. I help her clasp the pearl necklace that she borrowed from our mom, and then she slips her earrings on and I help her pin on the veil. When she’s finished, she steps in front of the floor-length mirror, still smiling nervously, and I stand next to her, squeezing her hand. “You look absolutely beautiful, Melissa,” I tell her, and she looks at me wide-eyed, her face glowing as she tries not to tear up. It’s too late for me, I’m already crying looking at my beautiful sister in her wedding dress.
“Can you believe we both found our Prince Charming?” Melissa asks, sniffing back tears. “I always thought it was a scam, all that fairy tale shit, but here we are. We both found someone perfect for us. And you’re having a baby! I just can’t believe it Madison, how happy we both are.”
I laugh through my tears and Melissa reaches out and rubs my stomach, bending down to kiss it before straightening and dabbing at her eyes. “Have you decided what you’ll name the baby yet?” she asks, reaching for her bouquet as she straightens the skirt of her dress one more time.
“Not yet. I’m still holding out for Jamison, but Alex likes Marcus or Zachariah,” I tell her, and Melissa laughs. “None of those,” she says firmly. “What about Idris? You know, like Idris Elba? It’s such a good name.”
“You mean the actor you’ve always had a terrible crush on?” I roll my eyes. “You’re ridiculous. But also gorgeous. Come on, let’s get you married.”
Greg’s mother comes in then to join us as our mom stands back and takes pictures, crying as much as I am. She gives Melissa a hug, telling her how happy she is to have her as a daughter-in-law, and then I give Melissa a quick kiss on the cheek and tell her that I’ll see her when she walks down the aisle. I’m going to go find Alex.
Normally I would have been the maid of honor, but Melissa gave me a pass on that since I was
going to be so pregnant, and so I find Alex in the pew of the church where he’s waiting for me. There’s a huge smile on his face as he sees me walking towards him, and I can’t help but think how different this wedding is, how I’m looking forward to ours without any worry or fear, without any secrets weighing us down. He knows everything now and loves me in spite of it. Everything that happened before is in the past, and we’ve started fresh. Sometimes it’s hard to believe. I feel like I’m dreaming, but it’s the best dream I’ve ever had.
Alex kisses me softly on the cheek as Melissa walks down the aisle towards Greg, whispering in my ear: “I can’t wait for our wedding.” I smile up at him, remembering him saying something similar at Tiffany’s wedding and how it made me feel then, and how different it is now, how excited I am.
We’ve talked a lot about what kind of wedding we want. Alex agreed to something small since he got his big public proposal, which I tease him about frequently. He told me we’ll do whatever I want as soon as I have the baby. My dream is a wedding on a big tropical beach, something sweet and romantic on a beautiful island, just the two of us. The compromise is that we have a huge blow-out reception on our fifth anniversary that Alex gets to plan however he wants. It makes me smile every time I think of the conversation, how easily we came up with the plan over a drink for him and the boring flavored water that I’m stuck with these days.
The wedding is beautiful. Melissa even cries as she says her vows, and when she and Greg kiss, it’s more passionate than I ever thought they had it in them to be. The reception is equally as beautiful. It’s buffet-style, with build-your-own stations for mashed potatoes and mac and cheese and pasta, along with meat carving stations and a dessert table that’s the length of my living room at home.
“I’m so glad I can keep food down now,” I tell Alex with a laugh. He grins at me as we both pile our plates with food and retreat to our table with my mother and Greg’s parents, chatting nonstop as we eat. It’s completely different from Tiffany’s reception—free of tension, relaxed and comfortable, and most of all there’s no secrets for me to worry about. Alex and I are free of all that now, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.
When the music starts, he holds out his hand and stands up, smiling down at me. “How about that dance you owe me?” he asks, winking at me. I stand up a little clumsily, meeting his eyes with a smile of my own as he leads me out onto the dance floor. We can’t get as close as I would like thanks to the baby bump between us, but it feels sweet and romantic, our baby held between us as we dance to a slow song. “I love you so much,” Alex murmurs to me. “More than I ever knew I could love anyone.”
“I love you more,” I say softly, leaning forward to kiss him as he spins me in a circle, and in that moment I’m more happy than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
When we make our way off of the dance floor, to my surprise, I see that Melissa is standing over by the table with our father and his wife, and I grab Alex’s hand and make our way over there. I see that she’s smiling. “I know Madison agrees with me on this, and I want us to have a fresh start. I want us to try to be a family and put all the bad things behind us. Don’t you think so, Madison?”
I nod, feeling tears fill my eyes all over again. “Especially with this new little generation coming,” I say, touching my stomach. “That’s all I hoped for, Mel. For us to all be able to start fresh.”
Alex touches the small of my back, leaning in as he sees me wobble a little. “Do you need to sit down?” he asks, and I take a deep breath. “I’m alright,” I tell him. “I’m just so happy. Everything’s coming together the way it should be. I was afraid to even hope that it would ever be like this. But it’s really happening. And soon we’re going to have a baby…” I take a deep breath as I feel my stomach clench as if it’s in a vise, and Alex frowns.
“I’m happy for you too,” he says, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “But Madison…”
“Oh shit,” I whisper as I feel a trickle of liquid and realize what’s happening. “I think…I think my water broke, babe.”
Melissa hears me and makes an alarming sound. “The baby is coming?”
The words spread through the reception hall like wildfire, and soon my mother is there too, holding my hand as she looks at Alex and me. Alex is wide-eyed and pale, looking completely terrified. “We’re not in New York,” he says. “Your doctors are all in New York…what do we do? This means the baby is coming soon, right?”
“Tonight, most likely,” my mom says, her mouth twisting with amusement. “Don’t worry, I know what to do. We’ll get you to a good doctor, Madison, there’s plenty here in Chicago too.”
“I’ve already scouted hospitals in the area in case this happened,” Melissa pipes up, shoving her phone with a list of hospitals and addresses listed from closest to farther away. I can’t help but laugh and roll my eyes because it’s the most Melissa thing I can possibly imagine.
I take a deep breath as the contraction recedes, and turn to face Melissa. “You need to finish enjoying your reception,” I tell her firmly. “Mom will go with me. This is your special day and I don’t want to interrupt it. I’ve already made a huge disruption.”
“No, I need to go with you,” Melissa insists. “What’s a wedding reception when you’re having a baby?”
“I won’t let anything happen to your little sister,” Alex says sincerely to her as he takes my hand. “But she’s right, enjoy your wedding. We’ll keep you updated and you can come by just as soon as the reception winds up.”
“Okay,” Melissa gives in, her eyes filling with tears, and she hugs me tightly. “The next time I see you, you’re going to be a mom!”
“I know,” I say, laughing through my tears. “It’s so weird.”
“It really is,” Melissa agrees, still laughing, and we hug once more before Alex and my mom help me towards the door. Alex goes to get the car so we can go to the closest hospital.
On the way over, he calls his mother and lets her know that the baby is on the way, and I can hear the disappointment in Kate’s voice that she won’t be there. “I’m missing it,” she laments, and Alex just laughs. “We’ll be back in New York in no time,” he tells her reassuringly. “And you’ll be our very first stop.”
As firm as our plans were for giving birth in New York, I’m eternally grateful that I have my mom here. She takes point on the whole thing—Alex is far too nervous and also worried about how much pain I’m in to be very useful—and gets us checked into the hospital and into a maternity ward, with me safely tucked into the bed as a nurse bustles around hooking me up to various machines. My mother stays by my head, soothing me as Alex holds my hand.
“Do you want them both to stay?” the nurse asks, and I nod rapidly, gritting my teeth as another contraction hits. “Well you’re too far along for an epidural,” the nurse says as she checks me. “But the good news is this little one is in a hurry to make his appearance, so it won’t last long. The doctor will be here soon.”
The actual birth is largely a blur—something I’m sure is the only reason anyone ever has more than one child—but the nurse was right about one thing: before I know it I hear screaming and the nurse is handing me a small bundle wrapped in a blue blanket—our son, with a full head of hair as black as mine is.
“He has your hair!” Alex exclaims, and I smile through tears. “And your eyes,” I tell him. “And your nose.”
“Your lips,” Alex points out.
“Your chin, I think.”
“He’s perfect,” Alex whispers, reaching out to touch one tiny hand. I look up at him, so full of love for him and our son that I think I might burst. “You know what would make him perfect?” I ask, hardly able to speak through the fog of happy tears, but happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life, complete at last.
“What?” Alex asks, and I lean up to kiss him softly before looking back down at our son.
“If he were named Alex. Alex Junior.”
Alex loo
ks at him and then back at me, and his face is filled with love as he nods. “You’re right,” he murmurs. “That is perfect.”
35
Alex
The whole family, from both sides, has shown up for little Alex’s first birthday. We decided to have a summer barbecue, more for the adults than little Alex, who is crawling around with Madison chasing after him constantly. He’s grown like a weed and is into everything, which I love and drives Madison nuts, although she’s immensely proud of him. I’m already on the verge of suggesting we have another. He’s been a surprisingly easy baby, and although I know that’s no guarantee the second one will be, I keep imagining Madison with our daughter in her arms, or even another little boy.
We got married six months after Alex was born, exactly how Madison had imagined, on a tropical island in the Caribbean, just the two of us. It was the happiest day of my life, second only to when Alex was born, Madison in a beautiful flowy white dress with island flowers in her hair, with only the justice of the peace to marry us. We spent three days there for our honeymoon, three wonderful days that I secretly hoped might result in baby number two, considering how much of it we spent in bed.
I watch Madison scoop him up, balancing him on one hip while she carries a tray of burgers out to the grill with the other hand, and I follow her out, thinking how very lucky I am. I have everything I could have ever wanted. Madison hands Alex off to her mother, giving John the tray of burgers, and then looks back at me, pushing her long black hair off of her shoulders as she smiles at me. I walk over to her, pulling her into my arms and giving her a deep kiss.
“I couldn’t ask for a better wife,” I whisper as I kiss her again.
She smiles against my lips, wrapping her arms around my neck for a moment. “And I couldn’t ask for a better husband,” she returns, bumping her nose gently against mine.
