The Life

by Martina Cole

  What she had really craved was security, to be taken care of, and to be part of a real family – one which looked out for its own and where you were always surrounded by people. When she had met Daniel Bailey it was as if Christ Himself had climbed down off the cross and answered her prayers. Daniel had swept her off her feet at fifteen years old, and she had loved him since that day, loved him with a passion that no one would ever have believed her capable of. Daniel adored her just as much and, when their kids came along, Lena felt that all her dreams had come true – she had the family life she had always craved. The only dark spot for Lena, if she was truly honest with herself, was the lack of stability. She never asked too many questions about her husband’s lifestyle and where the money came from. She wasn’t naïve enough to think it was all legit but she adhered to the principle of what you don’t know can’t hurt you. That didn’t mean she wasn’t afraid it would disappear one day. She was determined, therefore, that if it fell out of bed, she would have enough put by to weather any storm. Ria never thought their lifestyles would end, but Lena was terrified in case that did happen one day. She hated seeming as though she didn’t trust her husband, but she never voiced her fears – she just squirreled away, and prayed for the best.

  Chapter Eight

  Imelda Bailey looked at her reflection in the mirror and was pleased with what she saw. At eighteen, she was tall, willowy and high breasted, and she knew she looked good. She also knew that her father was not too thrilled about her recent marriage to Delroy Parkes. Delroy had been her boyfriend on and off for four years – even she admitted it was more off than on. But, for all that, she loved him, and she believed that he loved her. She was young, but she knew that Delroy was the love of her life. Sadly she realised that Delroy would always be a man who needed more than one woman – that had, after all, been the cause of so many of their bust-ups. But she had decided that if she would be his ‘number one girl’, as he referred to her, then she could live with it, and the fact that he had married her proved something. She knew it was impossible for her to live without him anyway. She also knew that he was scared shitless of her father and his brother, so if push ever came to shove she could strong-arm him if needs be. Whatever her family had said, she had not been able to help how she felt about him. He was a very dark-skinned Jamaican and he talked with the Jamaican lilt. He was everything she wanted in a man and the sex was incredible – not that she would ever tell anyone that, of course. Her father would see Delroy in the ground if he thought he had taken any kind of liberties with her before he put a ring on her finger!

  Now they were finally married and Delroy had got a job on the doors of one of the Brixton clubs. She knew her father would not be that impressed, but she also knew that, now he was part of the family, he would see Delroy’s potential as a rent collector or similar. Delroy was a big lad – a very big lad in more ways than one. Once he was working for the family, she would be able to monitor him much better; after all, he would be part of the crew, wouldn’t he?

  She sighed with happiness and, as she went to meet Delroy, she prayed to God that He would grant them both a good life. Grant them happiness, and give them both the opportunity to make something of themselves, make a life that was worth living. Tonight they were getting together with the family at their pub to celebrate her Auntie Lena’s big news. And she hoped with all her heart that Delroy Parkes, the love of her life, didn’t get stoned or drunk, and did not fuck up in any other way.

  She was still praying as the taxi drove them towards the pub two hours later.

  Chapter Nine

  ‘Oh, Lena, what great news, I hope it’s a girl this time!’ Peter kissed his sister-in-law on both cheeks, and hugged her to him. He genuinely cared for her, and he knew that both Daniel and Lena were thrilled at the prospect of another child. Personally, he wouldn’t want all that again, and neither would his Ria. They’d had three boys after Imelda – Peter Junior, or Petey as they called him, Liam, and Jack. Jack was already thirteen so the days of taking care of a baby were long behind them. But this wasn’t about them, and he was happy for his brother and his wife.

  ‘How lucky are you two, eh, at this stage? I’m almost jealous!’

  ‘You liar! You and Ria would rather shit a rugby ball than go through another pregnancy! But me and Daniel are thrilled.’ Lena was glowing.

  Peter laughed. ‘I got to admit, at this point, I wouldn’t fancy it. But I know you, and this is exactly what you need.’

  Lena sighed. ‘I am pleased, Pete. I was a bit surprised, but you know me, God is good.’

  ‘Well, we’ll see how good God is. Imelda’s bringing her new husband tonight. I’ve got to be honest, I still think he’s a fucking waster of the first order but, as Ria keeps pointing out, it’s not about what we think or want for her, it’s about what she wants. I want my little girl to be happy, but I don’t think she will be with this muppet.’

  Lena grinned. ‘I bet Ria’s father said that about you!’

  Peter Bailey laughed then, a deep belly laugh that caused everyone in the pub to look his way. ‘I think all Ria’s father saw was my colour. I’m dark, even for a half-caste, but her mum and dad just wanted shot of her, I think, when they realised there was no changing her mind. And lucky me, because I got her.’

  ‘True, but lucky all of us, eh? We’ve come a long way, and we’ve raised our families together. We are very fortunate. Hold up, here comes your mother, looking like the poor man’s Diana Dors. You got to give it to her, she scrubs up fucking well. I’m going to go say hello.’

  Peter smiled in agreement as Lena walked away. Theresa had always looked after herself. It was a shame really, because if he had been white she would probably have been married by now. Men overlooked a lot for a beautiful woman and, in all fairness, she had been a beauty in her day, but no one had overlooked that.

  His thoughts were interrupted by Imelda’s entrance; she looked gorgeous, bless her, and far too good, in Peter’s opinion, for the Rasta on her arm. Delroy had a lot to prove to win Peter’s trust and tonight they would find out if he was worthy of it.

  ‘So what do you think, Pete?’ Daniel joined his brother and passed Peter a full glass, easily reading his brother’s thoughts.

  Peter shrugged. ‘Let’s see if he’s come through for us, shall we? See if we can trust him.’ Catching Delroy’s attention, he raised an eyebrow speculatively.

  And Delroy, knowing exactly what was being asked of him, nodded back.

  ‘Well, well, it appears, bruv, that our little problem with Jonny Bryant has been well and truly taken care of.’ Daniel was clearly impressed. ‘Now are you going to give him a break?’

  ‘I still don’t trust him, Dan. He’s a fucking waster, a Jamaican jumper, all smiles and no bite.’

  Daniel Bailey shook his head ruefully. This side of his brother bothered him. Daniel saw Delroy as a potential asset to the family, but Peter had taken umbrage and it annoyed him.

  ‘He’s all right, for fuck’s sake, he’s taken out fucking Bryant and, be fair, asking him to do that was an insult. But he’s done it. He knows you were testing him, and he’s come up fucking trumps. Your trouble is you don’t like your daughter with a man, any man. Well it was going to happen sometime, especially with a girl as good-looking as her. For fuck’s sake, Peter, she is a grown woman. Get over it. Delroy is her choice, and I like him. He is well liked by his peers, he’s a grafter. And we need another good man on-side until our boys are old enough to do the business. Anyway, love him or loathe him, he is now your flesh and blood. Imelda will breed with him, and his kids will be your grandchildren.’ Daniel laughed out loud then. ‘It’s the cycle of life, Peter. Give him a chance, for fuck’s sake. He put a ring on her finger. We were all there, remember? He even swallowed the Catholic service. Now I don’t know about you, but that screams dedication to me. If you’re not careful you will push him away, and that will mean she will go with him. She’s mad about him and, from what I can see, he is mad about her. Giv
e him the benefit of the doubt, eh?’

  ‘I know you’re right, but a daughter is different to a son, Dan. If this baby is a girl you will understand where I am coming from. Believe me, a daughter makes you see men for what we really are, see the womaniser we once laughed at as an enemy, the friend who had a mistress or a one-night stand as a disloyal bastard. Daughters make you look inside yourself and you will not like what you see. It’s totally different to having a son. When daughters are put into your arms you feel a protectiveness that borders on paranoia.’

  Daniel nodded his understanding. ‘I can imagine, I feel like that about Imelda too. In me own way, of course. But you are going to lose her if you don’t accept Delroy.’

  Peter knew his brother was making sense. Delroy was making a name for himself, a good name, and he could be useful to them all – certainly until Petey Junior, his eldest, and Danny were old enough to join the family firm.

  But no matter the logic, Delroy irritated him; he knew a fucking useless ponce when he saw one. He might have been loyal to Imelda until now, but Peter felt it was all an act. Delroy had more sides than a fucking tetrahedron; he hated himself for thinking as he did but he couldn’t help it. His baby, his daughter, was worth more than Delroy Parkes, and if she didn’t know that, then it was a good fucking job that her old man did.

  Chapter Ten

  Delroy Parkes was on his best behaviour. He knew he was on probation, as it were, with his father-in-law. He knew he had been used, but he wasn’t too bothered about it – he had wanted to prove himself, and he had done it. He had seen the sceptical look on Peter Bailey’s face when he had casually requested that his son-in-law should take out Jonny Bryant. Well, he had done it and proved he had his own creds.

  Delroy had been offended at his reception into the Bailey family; after all, his own father-in-law was also black; he could have understood the animosity if the man had been white with a white daughter.

  Delroy was determined to make a life for himself and Imelda and their children; a good life, that was worthy of them. He had been willing to take out Bryant if it would help his relations with his father-in-law, but he hated that he had been used, and that Peter Bailey thought so little of him. He was determined to show that fucker that he was a man in his own right. He had a plan and he hoped that his wife’s father would see the logic in it, and that it made good business sense. If he didn’t then it would be time for Delroy to do his own thing.

  Chapter Eleven

  Daniel Bailey was a happy man. He knew that he was a winner; he had what he wanted in more ways than one.

  He sensed, though, that his Lena was less than happy these days. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones making her jumpier than normal. He knew about her hoarding money; she always had, and he allowed for that, realised that it made her feel secure. He also knew where the money was which, as far as he was concerned, was all that mattered. He was impressed actually at how much she had salted away, and he understood how important it was for her to think that she was in control of that part of her life. The money came out of her so-called ‘housekeeping’ and, though they still lived it large, he knew they could live much larger than they currently did.

  He allowed her the leeway he did because he wasn’t always as honest with her as he should be. But he was also well aware that she was not a woman who could cope with the reality of their situation in life. And now that the boys were growing up, she could see, he knew, that they were never going to be accountants or fucking suits. They were never going to be anything other than what they were: Baileys. And, as such, they were always going to be part of the firm.

  He understood her fears. If he was to get a capture by the Old Bill, she would feel much better if she didn’t have to rely on other people to see her all right. She had money everywhere, and he loved that she was determined to look after not only herself but the kids as well. He didn’t take her hoarding as an insult, as if she didn’t trust him, because he knew that she did trust him – with her life. But she was from a background of people who didn’t make allowances for a rainy day. He remembered her mum and dad and how, after the first meeting, he had thanked God that his mother had been the woman she had. Reviled for her lifestyle and her two illegitimate children, his mother had, nevertheless, worked her fingers to the bone. It was strange really that her sons had both chosen the criminal lifestyle, because throughout their lives they had witnessed their mother working in real jobs, paying her taxes, and never claiming a penny from the state.

  Theresa had always drummed it into her sons that other people working to keep you or yours was wrong – that was for the ponces of the world. The dole was there to see you over a bad patch, until you could find another job – it was never meant to be a way of life. Theresa had been known to have three or four jobs at a time to make ends meet.

  Peter and Daniel had been good boys, they had never brought the police to her door, or been involved in anything that might cause her trouble. They had been too shrewd to get involved in the futile petty crime that abounded on the estate where they lived. Instead, they had observed, studied and made sure they never went into anything before they had sussed it out. They would no more shame her than they would shame themselves. Although both of them had ducked and dived to put money on the table, neither of them had ever been caught.

  But he guessed, rightly, that their mother knew far more than she let on about her boys and their lifestyles. She had always said, if you are going to nick, nick big time, and never nick off your own. She accepted what they did, as she had always accepted them.

  Chapter Twelve

  ‘You all right, Mum?’ Davey Bailey was worried and it showed. His mother looked awful, she was white-faced and without her usual energy.

  ‘I’m pregnant, son, it does tend to take it out of you!’

  She was smiling at him, but he wasn’t convinced. ‘Is Dad back yet?’

  She shook her head. ‘No, he’ll be back later today, and don’t you tell him that I’m feeling rough. He’s got a lot on his mind.’

  Davey nodded, but he was angry at his dad. He should be here, but he was always out ‘on a job’ these days. He took a deep breath. ‘Come on, Mum, sit down. I’ll make you a cup of tea. I wish I had known how you were feeling.’

  Lena sat back down and smiled quietly to herself. Not one of her sons had given her condition a second’s thought, and why would they? They were only boys themselves – none of them understood pregnancy and what it entailed. She had not wanted to burden them with it, but if she was honest she didn’t feel good. It was all the worry. She knew her husband was doing some important business with his brother and that always made her nervous.

  As he placed a cup of tea before her, Davey berated his dad silently once more. And where was his fucking nana? Normally she was never off the bloody doorstep.

  ‘The baby’s kicking, Davey. Feel.’ Lena took her son’s hand and laid it on her swollen belly. She saw the surprise on his face as he felt the strength of the child within her.

  ‘Must be another boy there, Mum! A footballer, do you reckon?’

  She smiled. ‘You were the real kicker in the family, Davey. You kept me up night after night.’

  Davey looked at his mother, at her heavy belly, at her face so drawn and white. He saw the thinness of her arms, and the swelling around her ankles. He suddenly realised that she had borne all this discomfort for him too, and for each of his brothers. He felt the love she had for them, and he knew, despite his youth, how much they took her for granted. He also saw the enormity of what having a child really entailed. His mother was stoic and uncomplaining, despite having a living, breathing human being inside her. The miracle of childbirth hit him like a freight train.

  He laid his hands once more on her belly, and the child kicked again, a strong kick that made his mother wince, but made his heart soften towards the child inside her.

  ‘That’s amazing, Mum. That’s a real person in there. You’re growing a real person!’

>   Lena smiled happily. ‘I’ve grown four of you already. Honestly, Davey, it’s not a chore. I enjoyed every one of my pregnancies. It’s just today I’m feeling more tired than usual. I’m not as young as I was!’

  Davey grinned. ‘I tell you what, Mum, shall we have a night in, just the two of us?’

  Lena really laughed then. ‘I must look rough, Davey! Honestly, son, I’m fine. You don’t need to baby-sit me.’

  ‘That’s OK, Mum, I don’t mind staying with you.’

  Lena smiled. She was under no illusions that her sons wouldn’t follow their father to becoming hard men, but for now she decided to make the most of any time she had with them. She wished things could have been different, but her Daniel had carved the path for them all, herself included.

  She caressed her belly, and she swore to herself that, girl or boy, this little one would never be a part of the world that her husband inhabited and which her sons would one day join. As much as she loved them, she was determined that this child would not be a part of it. Daniel had brought the boys up to be with him; they would be beside him, follow him, and she had never questioned that before. As they approached manhood, though, the reality was beginning to hit home.

  Daniel would introduce the boys to, and expect them to be part of, the Life. They would have no choice. But what would their lives be if they were nicked? The thought of her lovely boys locked away for years on end tortured her. Unlike Ria, who was at peace with the paths chosen for her sons, Lena didn’t want it for her boys. She didn’t want them to be villains. Deep down, she hated that she had never had any real say in their lives.