by Lee Wardlow
Sophie gazed at her kid. Her baby girl and tried not to cry. “Practice. Play hard. Study. Go to classes. Be a college freshman and enjoy your life. That’s all. This does not affect you.”
Ally’s eyes flew to the screen. “Like hell it doesn’t,” she snapped at Sophie.
“Ally, I need for you to stay focused and Dad, Heath, Hannah, Kai and everyone here will take care of me.”
Her daughter’s eyes watered with unshed tears. She chewed on her fingernail. Sophie knew that by morning that nail would be gone and maybe all the others. “That isn’t fair, Mom.”
Sophie laughed at her. “What isn’t fair is that I have cancer. What you can do for me and will mean more to me than you know is to keep your behind at school and stay focused.”
“Mom,” she started to complain.
“Ally, I mean it. You are doing something with your life. Your dad and I fought hard for everything that we have. We want you and Heath to not have to fight so hard. To not have to worry so much,” she added. “Stay in school.” She frowned at her daughter hoping she could see how serious she was.
Ally scowled at her. “You know Mom, if I didn’t know better, I might think you had a shitty life the way you preach at me and Heath. I’m going to hang up now.”
Then she was gone. Ally didn’t hear the gasp that escaped Sophie. She closed the laptop lid. Slowly, she got out of Josh’s big, leather chair that engulfed her. Sophie went to his office door and turned off the light. She walked down the hall to her bedroom, Josh was already in bed. He glanced up when she shut the door behind her.
“How did it go with Ally?”
“Not so good,” Sophie responded.
He patted the bed beside him. She gazed at her husband. Twenty-three years of marriage. They had been together longer as a couple. Known each other since they were young kids. She still loved looking at him. He made her heart skip a beat.
His chest was bare. He hadn’t changed much. Sure, he had wrinkles like she did at the corners of his eyes. His hair had no silver yet, neither did hers but his beard of all things was showing it on his jawline. She liked it too.
Sophie climbed into bed beside Josh and leaned against him. “What did she say?”
“What can I do?”
“That sounds reasonable,” he replied.
“Maybe I didn’t handle it right,” Sophie told him. “Have I made you feel like I didn’t love every minute of our life together?”
“Uh oh.” Sophie gazed at Josh over her shoulder. He kissed her forehead. “No, you didn’t. I understood where you were coming from with the lectures to the kids because we lived this life together, Soph. They didn’t know what we went through because we hid the struggles. They only knew it was good because that is what we wanted them to know.”
She nodded. “Ally told me that if she didn’t know better, she might think I had a shitty life the way I preached at her and Heath. Then she hung up on me without saying goodbye or I love you.”
Josh squeezed her a little tighter because he knew how Ally’s reaction had hurt Sophie. “Give her time,” Josh told her. “You know Ally.”
Sophie sighed. “I know her all right. She’s just like me when she gets something in her head.”
Josh couldn’t contain his laughter. Sophie scowled at him. He stopped when he realized that he was making her angry. Then he kissed her shoulder. “She is Soph. She’s strong, intelligent, kind and caring. She loves with her big heart just like her Momma.”
She shook her head at him. “Nice recovery.”
Sophie settled back in Josh’s arms. “You sleepy?” He asked her.
“Not at all,” she groaned.
“Why not? It’s been a long day.” He sounded tired.
“I’m wired, Josh. I can’t stop thinking. I keep thinking about all of things in my life I have to be grateful for,” she told him, “but I keep wondering if I’m being taught a lesson.”
“No Soph.” Josh moved down in the bed taking Sophie with him. He held her just a little tighter. “You are mouthy for sure and bossy.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him waiting for something that would make her feel better.
“But baby, you are one of the kindest people I know. You’d give the shirt off your back to your friends or a stranger on the street.”
Sophie snuggled into Josh’s side. “Then why me, Josh? You heard Mom. No one in our family has cancer.”
His fingers traced over her shoulder. “Baby, I’ve been asking myself that question for days now. I don’t have that answer. Maybe the question isn’t why me but how do we fix this?”
Chapter 6
Josh
Sophie’s appointment with Doctor Roberts was coming up tomorrow. Right after that Josh had an interview with a candidate for a manager to help with the business.
Josh thought he owed Sam and Miguel an explanation as to what was changing with the business because they had been loyal to him. He wanted them to understand nothing would change about their positions with his company. He respected them as men and wanted them to know their hard, work was always appreciated.
He was in the office wrapping up the day while he waited for the two men. They were coming in with separate crews at two small clients. Sophie hadn’t been in at all this week. She worked at home; unwilling or unable to face anyone since her diagnosis. He knew it wasn’t healthy for her, but he couldn’t push her right now.
Sam made it to the office first. Josh sat back in his chair and listened to him instructing his men about tomorrow. Where to be, what time and how long the jobs would take. They had two to tackle tomorrow. Then he made his way to Josh’s office. He glanced at Josh when he entered.
“You wanted to see me, Josh?”
“Yeah, shut the door, would you?”
Sam was close to his age. He worked hard. Divorced with two kids. They took his child support payments out of his check and sent them to the county agency. Josh knew he lived lean to make those payments. He was a good man who put his kids first. On rare occasions, he went to a sports bar with some of the guys and drank soda while the others drank beer and watched sports.
He took off his ball cap and ran his hand through his blonde hair then he shut the door. He seemed uncomfortable for a moment. Then he moved across the room and sat in a guest chair on the opposite side of Josh’s desk. Sam leaned on his knees at first.
“What’s up, Josh?”
He wasn’t sure how either man would feel about him bringing in someone else, over them. He didn’t want to upset the balance that he had created.
“You know I value what you do for me?”
He nodded. “Are you laying me off, firing me?” The question rushed out of Sam quickly.
“God no,” Josh declared. “Man, I’m not good at this if I’m giving you that impression.” Both men laughed which eased the tension in the room.
Sam relaxed and leaned back in his seat. His arms from the elbow down were a deep brown as was his neck and face. He worked outside all year round; from April to October, he rarely wore anything but the short-sleeved, polo that Russack Landscaping provided them. In the summer months, they wore khaki shorts, so their lower legs were as brown as their arms were. Josh had the same tan lines, himself.
“Just tell me, Josh. What’s wrong?”
“Sophie is sick, Sam. I’m going to be out of the office a lot more. I’m trying to hire a manager. I feel like I owe you and Miguel an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I appreciate it though and I hope she’s okay.” Josh could see that Sam was relieved.
“Me too. She’s got a rough road ahead of her,” Josh explained. “I just wanted you to know that nothing will change about how you are needed or what you do for me day to day. If anything, this man may need you more.”
Sam nodded his head. “I’ll help in any way I can.”
“I appreciate that. I’ll make sure you are compensated for your help. You know that.”
Sam shook his head. “
Josh, you’ve always been fair with me. I’m not worried about it. You just take care of Sophie. Is that all?”
“That is all.”
Sam got out of his chair. “It’s my night with the kids. I’m picking them up and taking them for pizza.” He smiled at Josh.
“Enjoy. I know you don’t get enough time with the boys.”
The two of them shook hands. Sam hesitated at the door. “Josh, just let me know if I can do anything to help you or Sophie. I mean it.”
He appreciated that. “Thanks Sam.”
Josh took his seat. His phone rang, and he was surprised to find his daughter on the other end when he answered. Ally was still struggling with her mother’s illness. He had talked to her a lot over the last few days since Sophie told her about the cancer.
“You need to call your mom,” he told his daughter first thing after saying hello.
“She needs to do a lot of things,” Ally complained.
Josh sighed. “Ally, she’s sick.”
“Dad, I want to come home.”
He knew that his daughter was crying and the one thing in this world that broke Josh Russack was either of his women crying. “Ally, you need to stay there.” He rubbed his eyes with a weariness that he felt to his bones.
“Why, because Mom says so?” She barked at him.
She had her mother’s spunk when she needed it, but she was calm like him most of the time. She had her mother’s stubbornness too. It wouldn’t surprise him to find her home, one day, boxes and all.
He chuckled at that thought but if it happened Josh wouldn’t be laughing because his wife would be livid. “There isn’t anything you can do here besides worry with the rest of us. At least at school, you are being productive.”
Ally huffed at him. Josh understood her frustration. He would hate being so far away and waiting for someone to tell him how things were going. She had already complained that she was having trouble focusing, in class and on the field.
He heard Miguel’s crew arriving. He hated to hang up on Ally but soon Miguel would join him in the office. He had to talk to him next. Sam’s talk went very well so he expected Miguel’s to go just fine.
“Ally, I have to go. Miguel is coming in the office to speak with me. I love you, baby. I can call you back on the way home.”
“No thank you, Dad. You aren’t hearing me any more than Mom did. I want to come home.”
He sighed into the phone. “Ally, baby…I hear you. Why stress Mom out more than she is.”
His daughter sniffed back her tears. “It’s all right, Daddy. I’ll take care of me. You take care of Mom.”
“That’s my girl. I love you Ally.”
“Love you too.” Then she was gone just as Miguel walked into the office. He laid his phone down on the desk.
“Miguel, how did today go?”
“Just fine. We finished ahead of time and helped Sam with his second job.”
“That’s great. I appreciate all your hard, work. You’ve come a long way since you were eighteen and started working for me.”
Miguel chuckled. “Thanks, Josh. I appreciate that.”
“Want to sit down for a minute?”
Miguel took the same comfortable, guest chair that Sam had. Sophie had picked them out. Miguel’s dad was Hispanic, and his mom a hodgepodge of many ancestries classified as Caucasian. She had passed away when Miguel was seventeen which is why he had been prone to giving Josh trouble when he started working for him at eighteen, but Josh had faith in him and stuck it out until Miguel became someone that he relied on and trusted.
He was a nice, looking kid who worked hard and took care of his family. His wife Marcy was younger than him by three years. Josh took an interest in people and what was going on in their lives. He and Sophie had a summer picnic at their home and invited everyone over to ensure they felt like more than just an employee. Josh wanted his people to feel they could come to him if they needed help.
“Miguel, I’m hiring a manager to take over some day to day for me…” Josh got no further in his explanation.
“What?” The younger man seemed surprised. His voice gruff and hurt.
“Nothing will change about what you do for me,” Josh explained. He wanted Miguel to understand that he needed him now more than ever.
The young man jumped to his feet. He went from surprised to angry. “Everything will change. I’ve been working my ass off for you, man. Why didn’t you consider me for this manager’s job?”
Maybe Josh should have explained it better. Started off like he did with Sam but his call with Ally had thrown him. He was now worried about her too. “Let me explain…”
“No, I quit, man,” Miguel snapped. “I’ve worked for you for ten years Josh. Ten years, I did exactly what you asked. Stayed late when you asked. Carried the load when you asked, and this is how you repay me? You’re bringing in a manager from the outside?”
Miguel’s one fault was he was a hot head. His temper always got the best of him and Josh was at the end of his rope. His own anger was getting the best of him too.
“There’s the door,” he told the younger man.
“Fine,” he dropped his keys on the desk. “Thanks for nothing, Josh.”
He watched the young man walk out the door. Then he slammed his fist on the desk knowing it never should have come to this. Josh was exhausted. He hadn’t slept well since Sophie’s diagnosis. He should have started with that and proceeded to how good of a job Miguel did and how much he needed him before telling him that he was hiring someone to manage the business not minimize Miguel or Sam’s role.
He walked to the main, office and peered out the window. Miguel was gone. He would try him later to see if he could talk some sense into him and explain about Sophie and what this man or woman would do and how he still very much needed Miguel because he knew that Miguel needed this job.
Walking back to his office, he plopped in his chair. The office was almost too quiet. Josh leaned back and swiveled around towards the window that faced the woods. The sky was getting dark. He should just go home but he had a few more things to do before he could do that but, concentrating had been an impossibility since the diagnostic mammogram, even worse since the biopsy. The waiting was like going through the motions of life without really living. Waiting was a killer.
There was no purpose anymore because planning anything could be for nothing. Everything they were doing or wanted to do depended on Sophie’s cancer. What they needed to do to cure her. That’s why he put out the ad out over a week ago. That’s why he weeded out people to find what he was looking for, somebody like him to manage his business when he couldn’t be here.
Miguel would see that if he had given him a chance. Out of all the people he had spoken to, so far, he only asked Jagger Crosby to come in and interview. He talked to him on the phone for an hour and a half. Tomorrow, after Sophie’s appointment with the oncologist he was meeting the man in person.
Jagger could start right away if necessary. That was a bonus. Josh liked their connection on the phone. That was important. He wanted this manager to handle his business and his people the way that he did, like family. He thought Jagger was that person to do the job.
He heard the front door open and hopped it was Miguel. He got up and went to the front. He was surprised by Marcy, Miguel’s wife. She was in tears.
“Marcy, honey. I guess Miguel told you he quit.”
She nodded. “Josh, I don’t understand.”
“Sit down with me,” he said. “I don’t want him to quit. I need Miguel more than ever.” They both sat in the reception area of the main, office.
Light colored walls made the room bright. A mixture of real and fake plants gave it warmth. A few, inspirational prints adorned the walls. There was the solid, oak desk where Sophie sat with a comfortable, leather chair. She hadn’t sat in it for over a week now and he didn’t realize until that very moment, how much he missed her being here by his side.
“Sophie is sick, Marcy.�
� Josh leaned on his knees, hands clasped between them. He didn’t want to cry in front of this young woman and he thought he might when her hand laid flat on his back.
“What is it, Josh?” Her voice was soft and concerned. He knew that Sophie loved this girl. She had been to see her several times after their son was born.
“Breast cancer,” he said. He turned his head towards her when she gasped. “We find out tomorrow just how bad and what the treatment is going to be. I just wanted Miguel to know that I’ll need him more than ever. This manager will take over my position while I take care of Sophie.”
She sighed. “So, he reacted as he always did with this mouth instead of his sense?”
Josh laughed at her. “I guess if you want to put it that way.”
Marcy rolled her eyes at Josh. Her long black hair hung over her shoulder in a straight, ponytail. Her big, brown eyes stared at him with hope. “If he apologizes will you let him come back?”
Josh laughed again. “Of course. Marcy, I need him.”
“He needs this job, Josh. We’re young. Rent isn’t cheap even in Cooper. He wants another baby. We can’t afford the one we have. We have plenty of time. I wish he would see that. He and Martin were close in age and he wants that for Markus.”
Josh leaned back and gazed at Marcy. “I remember those times. Boy, do I remember them. Marcy, I told Sam I would be sure he was compensated for the extra burden I was putting on him. This person will be getting more business for us like I do. He’ll be me when I can’t be here because of Sophie.
“Miguel needs to understand more will fall on him and Sam, nothing will change except to get better for him.”
“I’ll talk to him.” She rolled those big, brown eyes of hers again and Josh smiled at her. “Will you let us know if you need anything at all, please? I can always cook meals or help you with Sophie if she needs care. She was good to me after our baby was born.”
He tilted his head to the side, frowning just a bit. Josh thought that Marcy was hinting at more than she was saying.
“She brought supplies sometimes, Josh,” Marcy admitted. “Miguel has a lot of pride. He would be crushed if he knew. It was our secret, mine and Sophie’s. Please keep it that way.”
