LIFE Interrupted

by Lee Wardlow

  “Our mothers already go with Ross and his family on Sunday. That shouldn’t be a problem for them to change to Saturday night but getting our dads to go, good luck, Sophie.” He whistled between his teeth.

  She continued to gaze out the window. “Why did we stop going?”

  Josh’s fingers tapped against the steering wheel. “It was the only day of the week that we got to sleep in.”

  “We could have gone on Saturday night,” she protested.

  Josh pulled out of the spot where they had parked. She took her phone out of her purse and sent a text message. She didn’t tell Josh what she was doing. She didn’t explain to him what the text message said. She just knew that she needed this. She knew that she needed her family to go on this journey with her.

  Responses started flooding in.

  Her mother: I’ll talk to Dad sweetheart. He hasn’t been to mass in decades. Her father didn’t carry a phone, so her mom had responded to her message sent to the entire family plus Kai too.

  Her mother: How was your appointment?

  Sophie: Come to dinner tonight. It would be easier to explain it there.

  Her mother: Sounds good.

  Daisy Ward was still holding onto hope that her daughter didn’t have cancer. Sophie thought it would be helpful to her to have this out in person, so she invited everyone to dinner.

  Then she could explain like she had about her diagnosis what her treatment plan was. She sent the same group another message about coming to dinner tonight.

  Kai: Can Roman and I bring anything? Dinner? Pizza maybe?

  Sophie: Pizza would be great. We’ll be at the office until four. I’d appreciate the help.

  Kai: You got it. Love you, bunches.

  Sophie: Love you, too. Not asking about the appointment?

  Kai: Save it for when I see you then I can hug you too if you need it.

  Sophie: Thanks. I’m going to need it.

  One by one, she got responses. Her brother’s wife, Lo told her they would be there, but her sons wanted to come too if that was okay. They would also go to mass with her on Saturday instead of their usual Sunday morning.

  Sophie: Lo, I’d love to see the boys.

  Lo: Great. I’ll let them know to come. Dillon won’t be able to make it because he’s staying on campus tonight, but Duke and Driver will be there. Dillon says to tell you he loves you. He’ll come to see you soon. Love you.

  Sophie felt her eyes watering.

  Sophie: Tell Dillon, I love him too and to call me. I want to see him soon. See you tonight.

  Heath answered for him and Hannah. They would be there but not until almost seven. He had to work later tonight. She understood. Her son’s job was demanding. That’s why they were looking in Cooper, so they would have help with Joshua.

  Josh’s dad responded for him and his mother.

  Brad Russack: Sophie, the church will collapse around my ears, but I’ll go with you. Maria is still rolling on the floor laughing that I agreed to go but whatever you need now, I’ll do, sweetheart. We’ll be at dinner tonight too. We love you.

  Brad to Daisy: Tell that bum of a husband of yours if I can go he can go too. Father Paddy will have a heart attack on the way to altar, when he sees us both.

  Sophie burst out in tears.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Your dad.” Sophie sniffed.

  “What’d he do?” Josh glanced at her then back at the road waiting to hear what his dad had said. She read his message to Josh and he chuckled. “He’s always had a soft spot for you because he never had a daughter, Soph.”

  “I know. He just amazes me at times when he shows it.”

  He reached across the seats and squeezed her leg. That was Josh’s dad. A big man like Josh. A quiet man with deep thoughts who didn’t always show his emotions. He was prone to slap his son on the back making him cringe, but he never was one for words.

  He loved deeply though, and they knew it. He was proud of Josh and Sophie for making it work even when things got hard when, so many people just walked away from their lives because it was easier than staying together.

  They parked in the lot near the door of the diner where they often ate. Sometimes Sophie and Josh and sometimes, Sophie and Kai. She climbed out and met Josh at the front of the truck. She tucked her hand in his arm and walked with him to the door. She just wanted a peaceful lunch with him. She didn’t want to think about cancer. Her treatments starting next week. She just wanted to think about nothing at all.

  The hostess gave them the window booth that she always gave Sophie and Kai. They had the same server that she and Kai often had so she knew what Sophie wanted. It wasn’t often that Josh ate out, so he ordered a thick, double cheeseburger loaded with French fries for his side.

  Sophie frowned at him. “What?”

  “Eating garbage,” she shook her head at him.

  “I rarely do it,” he defended himself.

  She stared out the window. “Miguel was acting strange this morning. Did you tell him about my cancer?”

  For the first time in weeks, they went to the office together. They weren’t going to go before her appointment, but Josh needed to handle a few things quickly before taking Sophie and she had to go with him.

  “I did tell Marcy. If he was behaving strangely it was because he quit last night when I told him about the manager I want to hire. He reacted like he does when he doesn’t like something. Marcy arrived within ten minutes. He must have talked to her on the phone. She asked me what happened. She was ready to beg me to take him back.”

  She realized that she was staring at Josh open mouthed. She licked her lips then closed them. “What if she hadn’t showed up?”

  Josh laughed. “I would have given him time to cool off and told him to quit being an ass. He had a family to take care of. I do need him more than he knows. He didn’t let me finish.”

  She shook her head. “Another stubborn male who needs to think before he acts.”

  “Speaking of…” His wife frowned. “Ben pulled into the parking lot while I was locking the door.”

  “What did he want?”

  Josh told Sophie about his conversation with Ben. She gave a low whistle. The server brought their drinks preventing her from asking any questions. “Thanks,” they said at the same time. Then Sophie took a sip of her water. Josh had iced tea.

  “Josh, I can talk to Kai, but I don’t know.” She frowned at her husband knowing there was more. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  He scratched his neck uncomfortably. “For the first year of Hannah’s life, he called me and asked me how Kai and Hannah were doing?”

  “What?” Sophie glanced around to see if anyone was looking at them. A few patrons smiled, so she smiled in return and focused on Josh. “Why didn’t you tell me or Kai?”

  “For the simple fact that it only lasted a year. I didn’t want Kai to get hurt.”

  “Wow, I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure how that makes a difference now.”

  “He’d really like to get to know Hannah. He was shocked that Kai is expecting her second child with Roman.”

  She was really frowning at her husband now. “What possessed you to tell him so much personal information about Kai?”

  Josh shrugged. “They live in the same town, Sophie. It didn’t cross my mind to not tell him when they could run into each other at any time.”

  “I couldn’t get that lucky Ben would have to eat his heart out, Josh.” She shook her head at him. “I ran into Richard right before my diagnosis and Jake last week. He asked how Kai and Hannah were doing.”

  “What did you say?”

  “The truth. She’s happy and expecting her second baby with Roman.”

  “You loved it too, didn’t you?”

  “Honestly, no. I can’t say that I did. He was hurting. You didn’t ask me how Richard was,” she noted.

  “I see him all the time at Home Depot, Wal-Mart and the golf course. He looks like hell.”

&n
bsp; Sophie snorted. “What did he expect? He hates his life without Micki. He lost that belonging to a family and the friendships that he had with her.”

  The server brought their meals ending their conversation for the moment. Sophie took a bite or two. Then she looked at Josh. “If something happens to me, find someone else Josh. You’re young, promise me that you’ll do that for me.”

  She watched his hands trembling as he held the cheeseburger halfway to his mouth. He laid it down and cleared his throat. Her eyes traveled up to his face where she saw that his eyes now watered.

  “I don’t want to hear this right now,” he said.

  “Just promise me, please. I don’t want you to be like Richard and Jake. They made their choices. You might not have that choice. Please, Josh. Promise me and I won’t bring it up again.”

  She might think about it, but she wouldn’t talk about a future that didn’t include her with Josh. He nodded. That wasn’t good enough. “Josh, I need you to stay the words for me.”

  “Sophie,” he choked on just her name.

  She lowered her gaze to her plate and pushed the fork around the salad, but she didn’t eat herself. Josh hadn’t touched his burger either. They sat in their booth, each lost in their sad thoughts, thinking about a life they neither one wanted to contemplate.

  Finally, Josh said, “I promise. Happy?”

  Her eyes moved up, so she could see his face. “I’m not but I feel better.”

  Sophie left half of her salad while Josh left a quarter of his food as well. He paid the bill while Sophie stood behind him at the register. Then they walked out the door into the intense sunshine. He slipped his sunglasses over his eyes. Sophie wished that she had hers.

  Josh put his arm around her shoulders and walked her to the passenger door. They were going back to the office. Her truck was there in case she didn’t want to work all afternoon, she could go home. He stopped at the door before he unlocked it. Josh was looking at her, but she couldn’t see his eyes for the shades covering them. He leaned down and gently touched his lips to hers. After all these years, her toes still tingled, and she was happy.

  “I love you, Sophie.” That was all he said before he unlocked the door and held it for her.

  She slipped into the passenger seat and tugged him to her. “I love you too.” She gave him a soft, sweet kiss then pushed him back.

  “Don’t leave me,” he whispered.

  She smiled at him sadly. She didn’t want to. The doctor told her they had a good success rate with her kind of cancer but nothing in life was ever guaranteed. Sophie had never felt more vulnerable in her life than this moment waiting for her treatments to begin.

  “I’ll try not to. I want to grow old with you. I want you to still be chasing me around the house when we’re seventy like you promised.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. Then he kissed her again. “Come on. You have your interview in forty-five minutes.”

  He nodded then he shut her door.

  **

  Sophie greeted the young man who walked in the door of Russack Landscaping. Blonde, blue eyed. Nothing but trouble, she thought. Broad shoulders. Built like he worked out. Tan, so he was probably used to working outdoors, she deduced.

  “Sophie Russack,” she introduced herself as she stood behind her desk. She extended her hand to him.

  “Jagger Crosby,” he shook her hand as he told her his name.

  She couldn’t help it. She knew her eyebrows raised at his name. She was surprised by the unusualness.

  “Mom loves the Rolling Stones,” he replied giving her a big smile. Flirtatious too. She shook her head at him.

  “My husband, Josh is waiting for you. Follow me.” Sophie stepped around her, solid oak desk. Everything in the receptionist area was light and airy.

  “Thanks,” he replied.

  She glanced over her shoulder as she led him down a short, hallway to Josh’s office where he was busy, reviewing a contract for a new opportunity. More work. More that they didn’t need but Josh didn’t turn anything down.

  “Josh,” she said his name. He glanced up from the contract. “Jagger Crosby is here to see you.”

  “Great.” She stepped out of the doorway, into Josh’s office allowing Jagger to come into the small space with her.

  The two men were about the same height. Six feet three. Josh still worked out even though he was no longer an athlete. She guaranteed that Jagger did as well. They shook hands. Josh glanced at Sophie. “Are you staying?” He asked not that he cared if she stayed.

  “Nope, this is your territory. Not mine.”

  He laughed as she backed out of the office and shut his door. She wondered what the new manager should look like? Not a guy with a surfer haircut, long and blonde. A laid back, easy going guy. She hadn’t even seen Jagger’s resume, so she didn’t know his credentials. Obviously, Josh had never seen him before so something about his resume and his phone call with the guy appealed to her husband because this was the only interview Josh had for the position.

  Sophie went back to the front desk and went to work. She had invoices to pay. Letters to send out about fall clean-up. She turned and glanced out the picture window behind her. The leaves were just starting to turn color. Soon, they would wither and blanket the ground in variegated colors of yellow, red and green.

  Six months, she would receive chemotherapy. March, when winter was winding down but still could be cold and possibly snowy, she would be done. Then they would move to the next step. Surgery and or radiation. She didn’t feel bad. That was what was so unnerving about this disease. It wasn’t like it had any signs once it started in your body. She appeared healthy to anyone looking at her.

  It wasn’t painful. There was just this lump. She couldn’t feel it since the biopsy. Every time she showered now she felt her breasts. She was paranoid. Sophie leaned back in her chair and stared up at the heavens outside. The sky was blue and the clouds fluffy white.

  Why me? I had a good life.

  There was no response.

  Was it because I stopped going to church?

  Still no response.

  Did I not appreciate my life enough? Did I take it too much for granted? I know how good I had it.

  Then she thought about the children who get this disease and it made her angry. Why them? Why anyone? Why cancer? She didn’t understand it, a nasty disease.

  She was talking to God, but he wasn’t listening to her. Not yet anyway.

  Is this my punishment?

  She needed to talk to Father Paddy. He would know the right words to ease her mind. He kept their small church opened from seven in the morning until eleven at night, so people could come in and pray. Light a candle for a loved one. She texted Josh and told him that she was running an errand.

  Then she took her old, red truck and headed to the Catholic church in the heart of town. Her church that she hadn’t been to in years. The church where her parents baptized her; where she made her first communion. She had her first confession. Father Paddy loved her confessions. Long and detailed.

  St. Agnes was an old church that had existed in town since the late 1800’s. At the top was a tall, steeple where bells rang gospel music every morning. Sophie could even hear them from her house. She found the bells to be so comforting even before her diagnosis.

  She gazed at the painted, white, brick building not very large but big enough for the small town of Cooper that didn’t have a huge Catholic population. She breathed trying to gather her courage to go inside because she hadn’t stepped a foot through the doors in so long.

  The building was surrounded by gardens and woods. It had always felt peaceful here. Why had she and Josh stopped going?

  Sophie sighed and ran up the front steps of St. Agnes. She opened the heavy, wooden doors. Inside was eerily silent. The doors shut behind her with a whoosh when she released them. She glanced behind her, then stepped into the vestibule. She could see into the interior of the main part of the church. On either sid
e of the aisle were rows of wooden pews that every weekend filled with parishioners for worship service.

  She dipped her fingers in the holy water and made the sign of the cross then Sophie walked toward the main part of the church. A black tiled floor, beneath her gym shoes made a soft, squeaky sound that seemed to echo off the walls. She rolled her eyes around, gazing at everything, taking it all in. Nothing had changed since she was last here except maybe new paint on the walls.

  Taking a seat in the front row, Sophie gazed behind the altar, where a figure of Jesus was hanging off the wooden cross. The walls on either side were window after window of stained glass, depicting the stations of the cross. As a child, sitting here with Kai she couldn’t appreciate the beauty of their meaning. Now, she did.

  Laying her purse to the side, then her lightweight jacket she slipped to the bench on her knees and bowed her head. She wasn’t much for formalized prayer. Sophie was more into speaking to God hoping to get some answers. That had always been her way of praying.

  Was this a wake-up call for me? Hey, Sophie, life is too good for you. Was your plan to make me aware that I need to be more grateful for what I have? She glanced up at the cross. The body hung loosely. The chin, almost resting against Christ’s chest. He was near death, she thought. What he had suffered for the sake of man. She lowered her gaze to the floor in front of the alter and sighed.

  No response from the big man upstairs but what had she expected? She hadn’t been here since Heath’s first communion. He was probably seven. He was twenty-two now, almost twenty-three. She chewed on her lower lip, but she felt more at peace being here. She had forgotten how comforted she had always felt being in church. Sophie stayed on her knees and continued.

  God, you and I both know I haven’t been the greatest Catholic or Christian for the matter. I mean, I haven’t gone to church in years. I did try to be a good person though.

  She hesitated gazing at the cross, then the floor again.

  I prayed to you every week and told you thank you. You and I both know it was not what it should have been. It was rushed and automatic like when I was a kid and had to do penance.

  I missed a few words of the Our Father when Paddy told me to do ten of them. I’m sorry for that.