by Lee Wardlow
In the hallway, outside their bedroom, she wobbled a bit. Her head spun a little. Maybe she should wake Josh after all. They had slept so little last night. She glanced over her shoulder at the closed door. She couldn’t wake him this early after he had been so little for the past few weeks.
Sophie headed down the hall using the wall for support. Ally was asleep on the sofa with the puppies. They saw her, scurried over her daughter and hopped down waking Ally. She stretched and yawned. She looked around for them and saw her mom, struggling.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
“I didn’t want to wake your dad. I thought I could try some tea and crackers this morning.”
Ally hopped up and grabbed the trash can out of her mom’s hand. “What do you want me to do with this?” Her nose was wrinkled in a disgusted sort of way. Sophie wanted to laugh at her daughter.
“Tie it up and put it in the garbage pan outside.”
Ally left her with the puppies yapping at her feet. She leaned against the wall, laid her face against the coolness of the painted drywall and sighed. She was weaker than she thought. It took everything she had to make it this far.
Eyeing the chair across the room Sophie wanted to make it that far. When Ally returned she could get her the tea and crackers. Sophie released the wall and stumbled across the room. She only made it a few feet before the room began to spin. Then darkness swam before her eyes before she fainted.
“Mom,” Ally was patting her cheeks. A puppy tongue licked her too. “Stop that Cleo,” Ally scolded her. She was somewhere between awake and this fog she couldn’t shake.
“Dad,” she heard Ally calling to Josh. “Dad, Mom’s passed out. I can’t wake her.”
It was a few seconds before Josh was running down the hall to her. He knelt by her side and patted her cheeks, calling to her as Ally had. “Ally grab my phone off the nightstand.”
He felt her neck. Sophie could feel his fingers pressing gently into her pulse. “Come on baby, wake up.” He sounded calmer than she knew that he was. “Thanks Ally.”
He called someone. She didn’t know who. “My wife just collapsed. She’s not responding to us. She had her first chemotherapy treatment yesterday and was sick all night.”
Josh had called emergency services. She wasn’t going to like this, but she couldn’t wake up even though her body wanted to. Her brain was listening to the things going on around her, but her eyes wouldn’t open. Her lips wouldn’t move, and form words so she could let Josh know that she was all right.
“Her breathing seems fine. Pulse is a little fast.” He was listening. Her body felt like it was floating on air in her dark, little world. “Ally, get me a shirt, would you, honey and call your grandparents, Heath and Kai and let them know what’s going on?”
“I will, Dad.”
“I’ll open the front door for them,” he said into the phone. “Thank you.”
She heard him walking away from her. She couldn’t reassure him that she was all right. She was, wasn’t she? She felt like she was lost inside herself. Unable to break out of the darkness.
Josh’s touch on her face made her twitch. “That’s it, baby. Come back to me. Wake up, please baby, wake up for me.” She heard the catch in his voice and Sophie moaned but she couldn’t shake the heavy fog holding her down.
“Dad, here’s your shirt.”
“Thanks, Ally. It’s going to be okay honey. Mom is most likely dehydrated. Her electrolytes are probably low. The paramedics will be here shortly.”
“Can I come to the hospital with you?”
“Why don’t you stay here with the puppies? Ask Heath and Hannah to come here so you aren’t alone,” Josh suggested.
Sophie moaned distracting Josh from Ally. He knelt by her side. “Sophie,” he called her name.
Then the paramedics knocked on the door. Josh looked over his shoulder. “Ally, honey, could you let them in.”
He was holding her hand. His warmth penetrating her, but she still couldn’t seem to come out of the black hole she was in. The heaviness weighing her down keeping her in this state of darkness.
“Josh,” she heard his name being said by a familiar voice.
“Dale.”
“Let us take care of her.” Josh released her. Her hand, he laid gently on the hardwood floor. “She’ll be okay, Josh. I promise.”
**
Josh
Dale Hart. They went to school together. The Fire Department’s Captain. Josh stepped back beside Ally. He watched them work on his wife, his heart slamming against his ribs.
“Heartbeat is irregular,” the man bending over Sophie said to his partner who was taking her blood pressure. He then checked her oxygen. A few seconds later, he reported her oxygen levels were good.
“Start an IV, Mac. BP is 60 over 30.” He glanced up at Dale. “We’ll need to transport her to emergency. Would you have one of your guys get our gurney?”
“Sure, Tommy.”
They continued to work on Sophie who started coming around after a few minutes of having fluids pumped into her. She was still woozy and out of it. She looked around for Josh. “I’m right here, Sophie,” he told her.
“Ally, call your brother and ask him to come here.” He could see how terrified his daughter was. “What did your grandparents say?”
“Grandpa Russack said to let him know where they were taking her, and he would pick up the others and take them to meet you.”
“Where are you taking her, Mac?” Josh knew most of the crew. Cooper was a small town.
“We’ll take her to East. It’s the closest. We’ve got her pretty stable right now. BP is already coming up. You might want to notify her oncologist, though about this episode. Do they go to East?”
Josh nodded.
“Could you let Grandpa know, Ally?”
She stepped away from Josh. He watched her go to the dining room table and sit down hard on one of the chairs. She called her brother first then her grandparents. Then she surprised Josh by calling Kai.
“Bring Alexander here, Kai. I’ll watch him. Heath and Hannah are coming to stay with me while Dad goes to the hospital then you and Roman can go with Dad.” Their eyes met. “He might need you to drive him.”
He almost cried when she said that. He was shaking inside, and he didn’t think anyone could see it, but Ally could. She knew what he was feeling without being told because she was feeling it too.
“Thanks, Ally,” he told her when they hung up.
“They’ll be right here so you can leave when the paramedics do. John Overly picked up Alexander since he’s allergic to the puppies but I would have watched him for them if not for that.”
She grabbed his shoes by the front door and took them to him. He slipped his arm around her shoulder and hugged her. Before releasing her, he kissed her head. “You’ve been wonderful since all this happened and I’m sure they appreciate the offer of you watching him.”
She nodded but she couldn’t speak. Words would have choked in her throat. The firemen brought the gurney through the front door. “Honey, would you grab a sweatshirt or my jacket from the bedroom?”
“Sure, Dad.”
Ally slipped out of his arms and headed down the hall to her parent’s bedroom. When she returned she had her Dad’s UC Sweatshirt that Hannah had purchased for him as a Christmas present. He had an Alabama one too that Heath had bought one year as a Father’s Day gift while he was a student there.
He slipped it on from his squatting position on the floor where he caressed Sophie’s head.
“I don’t like this,” she informed him.
“I’m not surprised,” he replied to his wife who was feeling better the more fluids she received. “You’re going to the hospital.”
He knew Sophie. She hated doctors and hospitals. Other than giving birth to their children, she had never been to the hospital herself. She was always healthy. This was going to be tough on her, being sick. Josh was going to have to do something he never had to do
before with Sophie. He was going to have to put his foot down when it was necessary.
She scowled at him.
Chapter 11
Sophie
By the following Friday, she was weak, down ten pounds which on Sophie’s lean frame was a lot. She was also going to the office for the first time in nearly three weeks. She had been existing on doctor’s appointments for follow-ups, bloodwork and fluids. She needed to do something different or lose her mind.
The puppies were going with her. Josh wasn’t too keen about that but wouldn’t tell Sophie no. She drove her old Ford while he drove separate in case she wanted to go home. He offered to take her and have Ally or one of the guys follow him and bring him back to work but Sophie refused. She wanted some independence.
The crew was starting to arrive when they got to the office. The change in Sophie was even more obvious to them who hadn’t seen her in weeks. They all said hello. Some of the men hugged her. She fought off the tears that threatened her. If they asked, she told them about her cancer. She got a few, I’m so sorry. Others, offered to pray for her.
Then Miguel walked inside with her. She thanked him for Marcy’s casserole dish and the rice pudding. The sweet pudding was the only thing she had been able to eat in the last week. Josh went to the store and found more but it didn’t taste like Marcy’s.
Chemo had changed the taste of food. She had an acrid taste in her mouth. Nothing tasted good or the same anymore Josh but kept encouraging her to eat. He bought protein shakes. Those went down okay but still didn’t taste right.
“I’ll have Marcy make you more pudding,” Miguel suggested.
“Thank you.” He gave her a little hug and a kiss on the cheek which surprised Sophie. “And thank you for helping out Jagger. Ally said you and Sam have been great.”
“After I behaved badly and quit. I know you, Sophie. You want to point that out too,” he replied with a sheepish grin.
She smiled at him. “Oh, I do. You’re a man now not the eighteen-year-old, kid we hired. You have a family to support.”
He hung his head as he spoke, “Marcy pointed that out to me. She’s never been afraid to put me in my place.
“You’re a great worker and a valuable employee, Miguel. Get your temper under control and listen before you blow your cool.”
“I’m working on that,” he replied. Sophie patted his back. “You’ll be fine, right Sophie?”
“I’ll be fine,” she promised.
She looked great compared to how she was earlier in the week. Miguel released her, and Sophie went to her desk. Jagger arrived with Ally. Coincidence, she was sure, but she saw how he smiled at her daughter. Like a big brother would, she recognized that reaction as her own brother Ross looked at her that way and she was relieved.
Her daughter had her own case of hero worship going for the older man. Sophie rolled her eyes at the ceiling and buckled down while Jagger got things moving for the day.
Later, she went to Josh’s office to review some invoices with him. She had made a few mistakes which frustrated her. Sophie didn’t do mistakes. She had chemo brain. Everything was foggy, and she had trouble focusing so she missed her few mistakes. She was fighting back tears. Her husband glanced up at her. “Soph, you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“I feel like my brain is cloudy. No matter how many times I review things I seem to miss something.” Sophie rubbed her forehead.
“Soph, we’ve always double-checked things. It’s not a big deal.” Josh’s tone was compassionate.
“You never found mistakes though.”
“Soph,” he gazed up at her as she stood beside him. “Give yourself a break. It isn’t a big deal.”
“I guess.”
Josh had made the changes live as they found Sophie’s mistakes. He reprinted the invoices. She walked out into the hall and got them off the printer.
“I’m going to take these to the post office this afternoon and meet Kai for lunch. Want me to bring back lunch for you?”
“Sure, Philly steak sandwich.” He had already moved on while she was still focusing on her failures.
“I’ll be back in about an hour and a half.”
“See you later,” Josh responded.
She stuffed the envelopes that she had prepared with the invoices. Then she slapped on a stamp. Sophie reached into the desk and grabbed her purse. Ally was in the kitchen working on a laptop with a wireless connection. She headed that way, leading the puppies to her daughter. Jagger was out in the field with a crew, so it was just the three of them right now in the office.
“Hey, honey. I’m going to lunch with Kai. Want anything?”
Her daughter glanced up from the screen. “No thanks, Mom. Jagger is on his way back. He’s bringing me lunch. We’re eating together.” She saw her mother’s eyebrow raise. She knew that look. “Mom, don’t go there. He’s a great guy. We talk a lot, but he treats me like a little sister.”
“Ally, are you interested in Jagger? He’s eleven years older than you.” Sophie frowned at her daughter.
“No Mom, we work together.” She rolled her baby blues at her mother. Her eyes. Sophie almost laughed. “Roman is twelve years younger than Kai,” Ally pointed out.
“That’s different. He’s not eighteen. You don’t have the experience to be with a twenty-nine-year-old man.” She knew she sounded hypocritical.
“No worries Mom.” Ally was getting irritated with her.
“Ally, are you sure?”
“Mom,” her daughter’s voice rose with her irritation, “I’m sure.” Ally hesitated, she wanted to tell her more. “I’m still talking with Brian even though I’m not at school.”
Brian? Sophie took a moment to think about who Brian was then it clicked into place. The quarterback of the football team. Number two in the nation.
“I thought you guys were just friends…”
Ally lowered her gaze to the laptop in front of her. “When you told me you had cancer, he was there for me. He became something more to me. We didn’t label it, but we really like each other. He’d like me to come to a home game sometime.”
Sophie felt bad. Her child was hesitant because she was afraid of leaving her especially, after what had happened with her first chemo treatment.
“Ally, you need to live and have fun not wait around for me to have chemo. Please do that much for me.”
Her daughter glanced up at her. “I’ll think about it. I’m talking to Brian tonight. They have a home game next weekend…this weekend is away but I can watch it on television.”
Sophie understood. It would be right after she had her next chemo treatment. “Ally, we have so many friends and two sets of grandparents who can help your dad with me. Heath and Hannah too. Please go if you want to.”
Ally nodded.
“Thank you. I’m going now, or I’ll be late for lunch with Kai.”
“I’ll see you later, Mom.” Ally was working on the schedule and trying to focus.
“Enjoy your lunch with Jagger,” Sophie told her trying to be positive.
“I will.”
**
Sophie found Kai already seated at their normal table. Her friend rose when she approached. She hugged her hard then they took their seats.
“I ordered water for you.”
“Thanks.”
Slipping out of her jacket and laid it on top of her purse. She reached across the table and grasped Kai’s hands. “Stop.”
“What?”
“Looking at me, like I’m going to disappear.”
“You are kind of disappearing. You were tiny before, but you are frail looking now.”
Sophie chuckled. “I’ve only lost ten pounds. It’s not that bad.”
Sophie explained what was happening to her appetite. How food tasted differently even though she no longer felt sick. She didn’t really feel like eating anything.
“Soph, we have to find things that taste good enough to you that you eat. That is important to keep you as healthy
as possible.”
“I know.” Sophie chuckled. “Marcy brought me rice pudding. It tasted good but the store, bought kind didn’t. Go figure. Josh tried to recreate the recipe from a google recipe.”
“Oh no.”
“Josh can grill like nobody else but keep the man out of the kitchen.”
She smiled at the thought of her husband trying to make rice pudding and the mess her kitchen was in when she found him doing it. Before cancer, she might have reacted differently. After cancer, she turned around and walked out, letting him handle things.
Sophie had changed. She decided not to sweat the small, things like her kitchen that was a disaster.
She shoved a spoonful of her usual cobb salad in her mouth and chewed. After a few more bites of tasting like the silverware, she just couldn’t do it. “Maybe, I’ll just skip to dessert.”
“What can I do?”
She didn’t know. Sophie shrugged her shoulder. “Josh keeps shoving protein drinks in my face. They aren’t horrible, but they aren’t great either. I’ll have one when I get to the office.”
When their server came to check on them, Sophie ordered the fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge. She loved this dessert. When she brought the bowl overflowing more than usual to the table, Sophie dug in while Kai finished her Cobb salad.
The more bites she ate, the worse it tasted. She laid the spoon in the bowl and shoved it aside. “Even that doesn’t taste right.” She almost cried.
Kai reached across the table and squeezed Sophie’s hand. “Come on, I’m done. I’ll pick up lunch today.”
Sophie grabbed her jacket and slipped her arms in. She still had to get to the post office. She couldn’t believe she was about to cry over a Hot Fudge Brownie Delight. “I’ll meet you outside.”
She went straight outside and threw her purse in the front seat of the truck by the invoices she had to drop at the post office. The keys she stuck in the ignition. Then she leaned on the seat and waited for Kai.
When she finally came out, Sophie glanced at her watch. “What took you so long?”
