by Lee Wardlow
“I’m pregnant, Soph. I’m old and I had to pee.”
She shook her head at her friend. Then they hugged. “Promise me you’ll be around when we’re eighty. I’ll need you to shake the stupid out of me when I’m doing something foolish,” Kai told her while hanging on tight.
Sophie scoffed at her. “When have you ever listened to me before?”
“What are you talking about? I always listen to you,” Kai protested.
“I told you not to sleep with Roman. You did exactly the opposite and look at you now. Pregnant at forty-one with twins, your second and third child with him.”
Kai rolled her eyes at her friend. “It’s a real hardship being married to Roman Garin,” she teased her.
“I’ll bet it is,” Sophie replied. “Man is a Calvin Klein model and sweet as can be. He got his shoes all dirty and his pants wet to get those puppies for me out of the drainage ditch. Risked making you mad and took one home…”
Kai burst out laughing interrupting Sophie’s diatribe about Roman Garin, Kai’s husband. “It’s not just his looks Sophie. He is genuinely a kind man. He loves you,” she declared. “He’d do anything you asked. Right now,” Kai told her, taking her hands. “I think most of the men in our circle would do about anything for you sweetheart. They just want to see you be yourself. They want the sassy, Sophie back barking orders at them.”
She sniffed back her tears. “It’s hard Kai. I feel so rotten and it’s just begun. One treatment down. I don’t even want to think about how many more to go.”
“Then don’t.” Kai squeezed Sophie’s hands. “Take it one at a time.”
She nodded. “Get going. I know you need to get back to work. I love you, you know.”
Kai smiled at her. “I know that. I love you too.”
Kai closed the door when Sophie was seated. She waved as she backed out of the parking spot. Then Sophie put it in drive and headed towards the road. She was driving towards the office about ten minutes away when she glanced at her purse and realized in that short of a time span she had forgotten the invoices.
She slammed her fist against the steering wheel and turned on her turn signal. She went around the block and headed in the opposite direction back towards the diner.
Sophie wiped her hand across her forehead. She was tired. She tired easily though. Maybe she would drop these at the post office, run back to the office and get the puppies and head home. Suddenly, she didn’t feel like doing anything else today.
At the office, she left her purse and jacket in the truck then headed inside. Josh was on the phone, so she left his sandwich on the desk and went to the kitchen where Ally and Jagger were reviewing next week’s schedule. They were good together. She was proud of Ally and how well she was doing.
They both looked up when she stopped in the door. “Mom, you look beat.”
“I thought I’d go home unless you need me.”
“Are you okay?”
Her eyes met those of Jagger Crosby. He was concerned too. She smiled at him. Then she looked at her daughter. “I’m just tired honey. I tire easily now.”
She had another symptom of chemo that she hadn’t shared with anyone because Sophie was tired of complaining. An ache had settled in her bones. Almost like she had the start of the flu coming on. Something else that was fun to go along with her tiredness.
Ally and Jagger exchanged glances.
“It’s okay, I promise.” She also had constipation, sometimes diarrhea but she didn’t need to share that with them either. She sighed. Sophie just wanted to go home.
“Want me to drive you home? Jagger can follow us and bring me back.”
“Nope, I’m fine to drive home. I just wanted to get the girls.”
They were asleep at Ally’s feet. She hated to disturb them, but she wanted them at home with her. They would keep her company and Ally didn’t need to worry about taking them outside when she had work to do. Josh would be happier if they weren’t here anyway.
“Marcy stopped by with more rice pudding for you,” Ally told her. “It’s in the fridge.”
She almost sighed in anticipation. “That is wonderful. I tried a Hot Fudge Brownie Delight at the diner. I left most of it.”
Her daughter frowned at her. “Wow, that you never turn down.”
She nodded. Sophie went to the fridge and grabbed the rice pudding that Marcy had dropped off. Two large Tupperware bowls. She would call her later and thank her. “Could you carry the puppies out for me?”
“Sure, Mom.”
“See you later, Jagger,” Sophie called to him over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen.
“Bye Sophie. I hope you have a nice weekend.”
The weekend. The countdown to her next chemo treatment. That is how she had been looking at it. She had just started to feel human. She was going to church tomorrow. She had gone once, missed last Saturday. She would go again tomorrow because more than likely next Saturday after chemo on Friday, she’d be in bed again.
Anticipation. She shouldn’t expect the next one to be like this. Maybe it wouldn’t be. She could think positive. That’s what they told her to do. Keep a positive attitude. She was positively thinking that next Saturday, she would be in bed, feeling like one of her puppies had gotten run over by a train or she had. One or the other.
She wanted to crawl inside a rabbit hole and hide. Then the cancer would eventually get her. She had no choice. She had to do this. She had to win, or the cancer would. She was dreading next Friday.
Ally deposited Cleo and Delilah on the front seat. She backed out and kissed her mom’s cheek. “Love you momma. I won’t be home until Midnight tonight. I’m going to the Fox and Hound with some people to listen to a band.”
“Really?”
She thought Ally should ask if it was okay. She might be eighteen, but she was living in their house. “I asked Dad, he said it would be okay. Some of the people are men from work. Some are people from high school. It’s a local band made up of some guys I went to high school with.”
“No drinking,” Sophie warned her.
“I’ll have a red stamp on my hand. No drinking.”
Sophie rolled her eyes at Ally. She climbed in the truck. “Have a good, time.”
“I will. I hope you feel better.”
“I think it will be a while before that happens.”
Then she headed home to her empty house where her thoughts always seemed to take over. Sophie took her pudding in the house with the puppies yapping at her feet. She let them out the back door and watched them to be sure they did their business outside.
Josh called while she waited on the dogs. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and answered his call. “I thought I would check on you. Ally said you were tired.”
“I’m not going to be able to do full days.”
“You know that’s okay,” he said to her.
“Okay for you but not me.”
“It should be, Sophie. You’ve worked hard your whole life. Just take care of you.”
“I guess.”
She was quiet then while she watched Cleo chase Delilah around the yard. She didn’t know what else to say to Josh.
“I’m going to church tomorrow. Will you go with me?”
“Sure.” Josh had gone the previous time as well.
“I love you, Josh.”
“You okay?”
She snorted. “I can’t say I love you without you asking if I’m okay?” Sophie frowned at the phone in her hand.
“I love you too,” he told her.
“That’s better.”
She stepped back as Cleo barrel rolled Delilah across the floor. They were nipping at each other’s faces and playing. This was normal for them except when she didn’t feel well. Then the two sisters snuggled her on the sofa like they knew she needed their comfort.
Sophie slid the patio door shut and locked it then she headed towards her bedroom while still holding the phone. Neither of them said anything.
&
nbsp; “I’ll see you later. I’m going to take a nap. Maybe I’ll be a little more perky when you get home.”
“Call me if you need me. I’ll come home and work there.”
Sophie agreed but she wouldn’t call Josh. He needed some normalcy in his life. She wanted him out of the house, living life not living her cancer every day. In a week, they would start this dance all over again where he wouldn’t leave her side until the effects of the chemo had subsided.
She snatched up Cleo and Delilah. They licked her face making her giggle. “Stop that,” she scolded them. She sat them on the bed and kicked off her shoes. Then she dropped her jeans on the floor and crawled in bed with the puppies. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep with the two warm little creatures against her belly.
“Sophie,” a gruff voice whispered in her ear. “Sophie, are you, all right?” She batted away the hand that tickled her nose. Then her hear.
She just wanted to remain asleep.
Sophie recognized the annoying, deep voice of her brother, Ross. She rolled to her back and opened one eye. “Ross, what. Stop.”
“I stopped by to check on you.”
She gazed at him for a moment then she sat up and leaned against the headboard. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
He scooted up beside her and Sophie laid her head on his shoulder. “Are you sure?” He asked.
She chuckled. Ross needed reassuring. He told her about his week. Ross was a welder at a local steel plant in Amelia. He had gone to vocational school. Her brother was smart but not ambitious about going to college. Although, he urged each of his sons to go. Like, her and Josh, he wanted a better life for them than he had. He always told them they couldn’t count on marrying up as he had. Lo always laughed at him.
Her brother was a good man. He was kind and compassionate. He treated his wife like the queen she was to him. She couldn’t ask for a better man and she often told him so.
Ross was loud and boisterous. He was always grabbing his sons in a bear hug, squeezing them until they screamed for relief. She chuckled thinking about her big brother and how much she loved him.
“What’s so funny about my welding contract that went haywire this week?” He asked frowning at her. “Were you even listening to me?”
She gazed up at Ross. Her eyes glistened with tears. “I wasn’t. I’ll admit it.” She wrapped her arm through his. “I was so lucky to have you for my big brother. Do you know that?”
“Are you okay?” He sounded tentative.
“Ross, I’m fine. Cancer has given me a perspective about my life. I just want everyone to know how much I appreciate them.”
He kissed her temple. “I already knew.”
Ross stayed with Sophie until Josh came home. It was the most time they had spent together in a long time. She walked him to his car where she hugged him goodbye.
“Let me know how you are next week after chemo?”
She chuckled at him. “When Ross? Between the severe migraine I have or vomiting up my guts?” She teased.
He scowled at her. “Then ask your husband to do it, would you?”
“Ross, I have to keep my sense of humor.”
“I guess.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll call Josh, myself.”
“You do that.”
She watched him get in his car and pull out the driveway. Sophie raised her hand and waved until she couldn’t see him anymore. Then she went inside. Josh was already making dinner.
**
This was their routine for the next week. She went to work with Josh and the puppies for half day and came home after lunch to take a nap. It was stagnant, not living at all but it was all they had for now.
Chapter 12
Josh
The hardest part about today was tomorrow. Friday was chemo day. Sophie had to start all over. Josh kissed her before she left the office to head home. He went back to work trying to stay focused on things that didn’t really matter. He called Father Paddy to see if he was free for lunch. He agreed to meet him at the diner in town.
Josh went to the kitchen and told Ally that he was leaving for the day. After lunch, he was going home and spending the rest of the day with her mother. He didn’t know what 66tomorrow would bring so he wanted to enjoy her while she felt decent.
“Jagger will be back after he meets with Max Satterfield. I asked him to take the meeting today. Ask him to call me and let me know how it went.”
“Is that why he got a haircut?” His daughter asked wrinkling up her nose because of Jagger’s new shorter style.
Josh chuckled. “I think so.” He turned and headed out towards the front office.
His daughter was spending more and more time with Jagger. He didn’t know how good of an idea that was. She was leaving Friday night after work for Columbus to see Brian, her friend? Her boyfriend? Josh didn’t really know what she and the quarterback were, but he felt better about her and Jagger because of that relationship.
He started up the truck and headed towards the center of town. Cooper was like most backwards towns. Small, family owned businesses lined the streets. A bank was on the corner surrounded by a pizza parlor, a gas station and a florist.
He drove past them all and parked in the town square. Josh ran across the street to the diner. Sal’s had been in business for twenty-five or thirty years. Long enough for everyone to know each other who frequented Sal’s and Sal, the owner and her husband knew everyone who came to her place.
He opened the door and felt the rush of cool air hit him in the face. Sal greeted him at the entrance’s hostess stand. Her hair was brightly colored in a red hue. Her lips painted ruby too. She was an attractive woman for being in her sixties. Her figure, she had maintained from hard, work at the diner, always being on her feet.
“Josh, I saw Sophie last week with Kai. She didn’t look so good.”
Josh patted her shoulder. “She’s receiving chemo treatments for breast cancer, Sal.”
The woman clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I’m so sorry. Give Sophie my best and tell her I’m prayin’ for her, please. I’ll put her on our prayer list at church.” Sal was a member of the Cooper Baptist Church on the opposite side of town from St. Agnes.
“Thank you, Sal. I’ll let Sophie know. Is Father Paddy here yet?”
“Paddy is here waiting on you. I’ll take you to your table.”
She guided Josh through the throngs of tables. Some people greeted him and said hello. He shook hands with old friends and acquaintances that wanted to wish him well. Finally, he was at their table and slid into the booth opposite Father Paddy. Sal took his drink order before she went away.
“How’s Sophie?”
“Dreading tomorrow,” Josh responded.
Father nodded. “I can understand that, Josh. I’m sure you can too. These treatments are more than difficult. What can I do for you and Sophie, son?”
Josh ran his hands through his hair. “I’m pissed off, Father.” He looked up at him then he apologized for his language.
“I’ve heard far worse. The maintenance man at the church forgets he’s on church grounds frequently when he mashes his thumb with his hammer among other catastrophes.”
Josh sighed.
“Josh, this is normal. Anger, sadness, frustration. Probably many other emotions you’re going to feel over the course of Sophie’s treatment.” He reached across the table and patted Josh’s arm.
“I feel so helpless. I just want her to be well.”
“She will be when she gets through the treatment.”
Josh nodded. “You know her,” he said staring out the window. “She’s vibrant and was always on the go. The spark has already gone out after just one treatment.”
The priest talked with Josh, giving him advice as best he could, more as a friend than as a counselor. He offered to come over to give Sophie communion on Saturday or Sunday.
“Maybe it would be better on Sunday or Monday if the nausea is as bad as last time, she’ll be sick
all weekend. Maybe mid-week would be even better, Father Paddy.”
Father Paddy nodded. “Call me if you need me. I can perform anointing of the sick as well. Prayers are always helpful, Josh. It might bring Sophie comfort. She’s clinging to her faith these days.”
“She is, and I will, Father. Sometimes, I think it’s all that’s getting her through this.”
“That isn’t a bad, thing, Josh.”
“No, it isn’t,” he agreed.
The server returned with their drinks and took their order. She promised to get their food out quickly. They thanked her before she walked away.
“I’m going home after lunch, so I can spend time with her,” Josh told Father Paddy.
“That’s a good thing. I know it’s difficult to see this right now, but Sophie’s illness has brought about some good.”
“How’s that, Father Paddy?”
He laughed. “For the first time in decades, Duke Ward and Brad Russack are coming to St. Agnes and I’ve actually seen both men on bended knee.”
Josh hung his head and snorted. Father was right though. His dad was always on the edge of his seat, like he might bolt at any minute during the times when the entire congregation was kneeling. He, himself wasn’t allowed to do that. He got whacked in the back of the head by whichever parent was closest and they were glad to do it for him too.
“She asked them to come to church with her. Without question, they both showed up. If I had known that was all it would take to get those two into St. Agnes again, I’d have made that request years ago.”
“I don’t think you’d have the same effect, Father Paddy,” Josh teased him.
“Probably not.” Father Paddy leaned on his arms. “Josh, I haven’t seen the entire Ward and Russack families together in in the pews for years. It makes me as happy as it does Sophie.”
“She’s finding comfort in it.”
Their server brought their food and they were quiet for a few minutes while she asked if they needed anything else. When she walked away, Josh dug into his cheeseburger. Father poked around on his plate.
“What are you finding comfort in Josh?” He asked.
He shook his head. “Not much, these days. Ask me in six months when Sophie’s treatments are over.”
