by Lee Wardlow
“Can you stand?” Kai asked her.
She was weak, but she got to her feet with Kai’s help. She slipped her arms into the robe and Kai belted it around her waist. “Help me sit on the toilet and you can shave my head.”
Kai held her hand tight while Sophie stepped over the tub. When Sophie was seated, Kai opened the door. “I’ve got her. Can you find the clippers beneath the sink?” Kai asked Roman.
She brushed out Sophie’s hair while Roman searched for the clippers. “These?” He asked holding up the men’s electric hair clippers.
“Yep.”
Roman handed them to Kai and leaned against the sink. She turned them on and the buzzing sound filled the bathroom. Sophie glanced up at Kai.
“Get it over with,” Sophie whispered.
“I can’t.” She handed them to Roman.
They switched places. He squatted down in front of her. “Are you sure you’re ready to do this?” She shook her head no. “Then why don’t you wait?”
“Look in the tub,” she told him getting teary.
He leaned around the shower curtain. A clump of her hair laid on the side of the tub behind the shampoo bottle where Kai had tried to hide it, and more was near the drain.
“That’s just a few big clumps, Sophie,” he stated. “You’ve got a lot of hair.”
She nodded then wiped a tear from her cheek.
“It’s just hair, Sophie. It will grow back.”
Sophie frowned at him. “Easy for you say,” she scolded Roman. Then she ran her fingers through his thick dark hair which fell back in place. “You get to keep your beautiful, perfect, hair.”
Roman rose and grabbed Sophie’s towel. He put it around his shoulders. Then he stepped around his wife who was eyeing him with question in her eyes. He ran the clippers down the middle of his head letting the hair fall onto the counter. Kai and Sophie gasped. He gazed at her for a moment then he said, “It is just hair.”
His wife sat on the tub.
He finished shaving the rest of his hair off then he turned back to Sophie and squatted in front of her. “Okay, now my hair is gone. Ready?”
She had big, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Your hair,” she whispered running her hand over his bald head.
“It’s just hair, Sophie.”
She nodded. Roman got on his knees in front of Sophie and ran the clippers through her hair. She closed her eyes not wanting to watch the locks fall from her head. Kai stepped over his legs and left the bathroom. She couldn’t watch.
“Next pass, Sophie. Ready?” Roman asked.
She nodded.
More hair fell from her head to her lap. She could feel its softness against her fingers as she caught it. “Let me get a towel to put around your shoulders so you don’t get itchy.”
“Okay.”
Roman left her for a moment then she felt him putting the towel around her shoulders. He resumed shaving her head. With a gentleness that was Roman, he swiped the clippers through her hair until her head was bare. He took her hand and had her touch the softness of her head.
“It’s okay now. It will grow back when your chemo is done.”
Roman turned off the clippers. He didn’t move from his knees at Sophie’s feet. She rubbed her hand back and forth across her bare head. Then she opened her eyes and her hand dropped to her lap. She grasped his free hand in hers. She leaned forward, and his forehead touched hers.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.”
He kissed her cheek. Then Josh cleared his throat. “So, you let him shave his head but not me,” he teased her.
Sophie burst out laughing. “I’m not married to him. I don’t have to look at Roman every day.”
Kai slipped in beside Josh and he wrapped his arm around her. “Lord, what a pair you two are,” she informed them.
Chapter 14
Sophie
Monday afternoon, Ally wasn’t home yet. Josh was home with Sophie still. He had decided to wait on their daughter before going to the office to try to get some work done.
Jagger had dropped the car at the house and Doug took him to his home. Little was said, except the game had been a great one, a close one too. She chuckled at Josh questioning if Jagger met Brian which he had. The protective father was coming out in Josh with his little girl.
Sophie still felt weak but was hanging out in the recliner in the living room, instead of holed up bed which is where she had been Friday, Saturday and Sunday. She was ready for a change now.
Tilted back in her recliner, she was wearing the Hello Kitty pajamas, a robe, and a soft, pink turban hat that she had picked out for the when this crap gets real moment.
Josh covered Sophie with a fleece blanket when she couldn’t seem to get warm, so the pajama choice wasn’t quiet as obvious even though the robe was open at the top. The puppies were snuggled in the chair with Sophie while Josh sat on the sofa with his laptop. “Are you hungry, babe?” It was nearing three o’clock and she hadn’t eaten anything yet.
“Not at all. I still feel pukey, just not enough to vomit.”
He laid his laptop on the table in front of him and got off the sofa. Then Josh went to her chair, leaning on the arms. “Soph, you need to eat.”
She continued to play with puppies’ ears, ignoring Josh.
“Sophie.”
“Josh, I feel terrible. I can’t eat.” She shook her head at him.
“Soph, you haven’t gained any of the weight back that you lost from the first treatment. You can’t really afford to lose, much more.” He squatted by her chair. “I’m just concerned, baby.”
“I know.”
“Body still aching?” He asked.
She nodded.
“Need a pain pill?”
“No, I want to be awake and that stuff makes me sleepy.” They heard the car door outside. Josh leaned over and kissed Sophie. “I’m nervous,” she told him.
“Why?” He went to the door and peeked out. Brian was getting Ally’s bag out of the trunk. He closed the lid and kissed her before he moved her towards the house.
“I usually have hair and don’t meet Ally’s friends in my pajamas.”
Josh chuckled. He was distracted by his daughter. Brian slipped his arm around her shoulders and gave them a squeeze. They stopped. She gazed up at him. They talked for a moment and he kissed her again.
“I think they are more than friends, Sophie.”
He moved away from the door and sat on the sofa before they caught him snooping. Ally walked through the door first. Sophie knew at that moment, she should have let her daughter know they had shaved her head.
Ally stepped backwards into Brian. He put his arm around her waist to steady her.
“You okay, Ally?” Brian asked her.
She shook her head no. Then she went to Sophie’s chair and got on her knees while Brian stood awkwardly in the doorway. “Mom, you’ve lost your hair already?”
“It was starting to come out, Ally. Roman shaved it off for me,” she explained. “His is shaved too.”
“I’m so sorry Mom.” Ally’s eyes filled with tears. It was a shocking moment for her daughter; one she should have prepared her for. Now, she knew. She would alert the rest of the family.
“As Roman said, it’s just hair.” Ally leaned over and kissed her mom. “So, did you win?” She asked her daughter.
“You hate football.”
“Ally,” Sophie scolded her.
She laughed. Then she stood and turned to Brian. “Brian Wilkes this is my Mom and Dad, Sophie and Josh Russack. This is Brian Wilkes.”
Josh got up and shook hands with Brian. Taller than her dad who wasn’t a small man. Blonde haired and big, brown eyes. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Russack.” Polite too.
“Call me Josh.” Sophie could tell that Josh was excited to meet the college quarterback. She knew he paid closer attention to him now that Ally was friends with him. “I hear a lot of talk on ESPN that you’re a possible Heisman can
didate.” Sophie almost laughed at her husband. Ally rolled her eyes at her dad.
“I try not to focus on the hype surrounding me right now,” Brian told him. “I just want to keep winning to get our team a spot in the playoffs.”
“You’ve held onto number two since they started tracking the teams.”
“But the hardest part of our schedule is coming up,” Brian explained. “We have to face all the tough Big Ten teams in our division.”
“Good luck to you.”
“Thanks, we’re going to need it.”
Ally reached for her bag in Brian’s hand. “I’ll take that to my room.”
She left Brian with them. Sophie watched the young man’s eyes travel with her daughter to the hallway where she disappeared.
“Would you like to sit?” Josh asked.
“I’m sorry I can’t stay long. We had to wait for me to sit through films of Saturday’s game before I could bring Ally home. I have a team meeting at six, so I’ll have to head back soon. We’re on a pretty regimented schedule.”
“Everything is all about football,” Josh declared.
“Yeah, it is,” Brian agreed nodding his head.
“Josh was a high school quarterback,” Sophie informed him.
“Ally told me,” Brian answered. “She said you were pretty good.”
“Not your caliber,” Josh protested.
Brian rubbed his hand across his jaw. “It’s perspective you know. Where you went to school in Cooper is a small town. I went to a large, well-known high school that gave me a lot of exposure. If you had that you might have been where I am.”
“We had Heath seven months after graduation. My family became my priority, I’m afraid.”
“No regrets?” Brian asked.
Sophie thought that was a strange question to ask a man he’d just met.
“None.” Josh was frowning at the young man too. “I have two great kids. A beautiful wife and a thriving business. I’m a very lucky man.”
“Ally is great. I’m lucky to have her,” Brian agreed.
Josh’s eyes met Sophie’s. Something was going on between these two kids and no matter how badly Sophie felt she was picking up on it. Ally returned to the living room. “Brian can’t stay. He has to get back to campus for a team meeting.”
Sophie glanced up at her daughter. “He was just telling us that, Ally. Are you rushing him out the door?”
“No, Mom,” Ally was irritated. “I’m going to walk him to the car.”
“It was nice meeting you, sir.” Brian shook Josh’s hand.
“Sophie, I hope you are feeling better soon.” He stepped over to Sophie’s chair and shook her hand too. Then he ruffled Delilah’s ears.
“Nice meeting you as well.” When the front door closed. “Quick, tell me what’s going on.”
Josh rolled his eyes at her. “I’m not spying on them, Soph.”
“Josh, don’t make me get up when I feel so awful.” She was playing him with everything she had.
“That is terrible Sophie.” He scowled at her.
“Now, Joshua Bradford Russack.”
“Good Lord, woman, you’re using my full name. I don’t think you’ve ever done that. You reserve that for the kids, not me,” he grumbled at her. He turned and peeked over the sofa through the curtains that he held open with one finger. “Want play by play or what?”
She snorted at him. “This isn’t a football game, Josh.”
“They are leaning on his car.”
“Side by side?” She asked.
“Nope, he’s leaning. She’s in his arms with her head on his chest.”
“I have to see this.”
Sophie put the puppies on the floor. She went to Josh and climbed in his lap, any further down on the sofa and she couldn’t see the driveway. He wrapped his arm around her waist. “You know if she comes in here, she’ll know you were spying on her.”
Sophie turned her head and laid it in the crook of Josh’s neck. “I’m sneaky. She’ll think we’re cuddling because I don’t feel well.”
“Yeah, you are,” he agreed.
Then she turned back to the window. Sophie watched her daughter standing in Brian’s embrace. His chin rested on top of her head. “Boy, he’s tall.”
“Six five.”
She gazed at her husband. “Any other statistics you know about him?”
“None you would care to know,” Josh responded.
She turned back to the window. “What’s going on, do you suppose?”
“I have no idea. I’ve never been good at this stuff. When Heath came to me with girl problems with Hannah, I told him she’s always right. Just accept it.”
Sophie turned back to her husband. She was frowning. “You knew they were a couple?”
“What did you think they were Sophie? They didn’t date anyone else. They went to every dance together. Every Prom?”
“I guess Kai and I thought wait and see, especially since they went to separate colleges. Heath was in Alabama, no less.”
“He never stopped loving her. Other than the first few months while they adjusted to not being together constantly…”
“When we thought one of them was going to break and either he was going to come home, or she was going to Alabama,” Sophie added.
“Yeah that,” Josh agreed. “They thought the time apart would just ensure that what they had was right and would survive the longevity they both wanted. They wanted what we have,” Josh informed her.
Sophie turned back to the window. Brian pushed Ally back and cupped her face. “He cares a lot about her.”
Josh propped his chin on Sophie’s shoulder. “I think so.”
“She’s mad at him about something.”
“Why do you say that?”
Sophie turned back to Josh and tucked her head in next to his. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “I know our daughter.”
“You need to eat something before I head to the office. I need to be there when the crews come in.”
“Josh,” she groaned. “Food tastes terrible. My stomach feels awful. Please let it go.”
“Sophie, you need to try.”
She slipped off his lap and headed to their bedroom with the puppies trailing behind her. Both Russack women were irritated with the men in their lives.
**
“Mom,” Ally shook Sophie’s shoulder. “Mom, wake up.”
Sophie rolled over and Delilah squeaked. “Sorry, Delilah. Get out from under me, girl.” She reached under the blankets and scooped up the little, not so little puppy. “Momma is sorry, baby girl.” Ally cocked her eyebrow at her mother.
“Hush you,” Sophie told her. “With what I’m going through. I can love on these cute little fur balls as much as I want.”
“Marcy brought more rice pudding. You’re going to eat this.”
Sophie scowled at her. “Which of you called the poor girl who has enough to do with Miguel and Markus and told her I wasn’t eating?”
“Dad. All him.”
Sophie sat Delilah beside her and sat up. She did love the rice pudding. It was one of the few things that she could eat without gagging. She scooped a spoonful into her mouth and groaned. “This is heavenly.”
She gazed up and realized that Ally was staring at her. “What?”
She lowered her eyes. “Sorry.”
“No, spit it out. What?”
“It’s hard. Seeing you with no hair.”
Sophie took another bite then patted the bed next to her. Ally walked around and climbed in bed beside her mother. Cleo trotted up onto Ally’s lap and sat down so she could rub her ears for her.
“What’s going on with you and Brian?” She asked her daughter.
“It’s damn difficult to be in love with the quarterback of the number two team in the country when he has the most difficult part of his schedule coming up.” Ally rubbed her nose against the dog’s nose and was rewarded with a sloppy kiss.
“In love, huh?”<
br />
“Yeah Mom, Brian and I are in love.”
Sophie ate more of her pudding. “When did this happen?”
“Probably was that way all along and we were kidding ourselves. When you turned up sick, he was there for me,” Ally explained. “He wiped away my tears. Kissed me silly and told me he was crazy about me.”
“What else?”
“Stop fishing,” Ally warned her. “I’m not telling you anything else.” She turned her head towards the windows.
“So, you’re having sex with him.”
“Mom,” Ally snapped.
“Kiddo, you have your whole life ahead of you. If you haven’t already had sex, don’t you want it to be with the one man, you spend your life with?” Sophie asked her.
Her daughter’s head snapped around and she had tears in her eyes. “How do you know Brian won’t be that one man?”
Sophie sighed at her.
“I mean, we have the same values. His parents have been together a long time too. He wants that like I do.”
“So, you are having sex,” Sophie stated.
Ally turned her head back to the window. “Mom, if we are and I’m not admitting to anything because that is private…between me and Brian, we haven’t been with anyone but each other.”
Sophie rolled her eyes. She chewed on her lip. Life was difficult. Ally was young. She and Josh got lucky or were just plain dumb or too stubborn to let anything come between them.
She decided she had enough on her plate. She needed to worry about herself and let her children worry about themselves. “I’m here if you need me,” she informed Ally.
“What?”
She almost laughed at the expression on her daughter’s face.
“You’re not going to interfere or hound me like you did Heath until he caved and told you he was no longer a virgin?”
“Nope. Hannah was his one and, only right?”
“She was, and it worked out so well for them too.” Her daughter wanted Brian to be her one and only. She could see it in Ally’s eyes. The hope of youth. Young love. She had it once. Hard, work and being adult had removed the rose, colored glasses. Love was hard, work but worth it. Her cancer was proof of what their love could endure.
Love was holding your spouse’s hair back while she puked either from morning sickness or chemo. It wasn’t pretty either way. Love was becoming a caregiver for that loved one when all you wanted to be was their lover. It wasn’t sexy or special. It was necessary. Love was putting aside your needs because they needed you now and hoping that in the future, things settled down and you could be a real couple again. There was always that, hope that they clung to. Sometimes it was all you had.
