Capital Bride

by Cynthia Woolf

  Ben stood in the room and stared at Sarah.

  “You go on and keep watch for the doctor.”

  “Ah. Sure. Sure.” He left the room.

  John was alone with Sarah. “Honey, this is going to hurt. But I’m going do the best I can to hurry and get that out of you so you’ll get well.”

  “Daddy?”

  Oh, Christ, the girls. He’d been so worried about Sarah, he’d completely forgotten the little ones.

  He went over to them where they stood in the doorway. “Katy. You and MaryAnn go to your room and stay there with the puppies. Can you do that for me?”

  “But Mama,” said MaryAnn.

  “Mama, is going to be fine. You just do as I ask.”

  “Yes, sir,” they said together.

  He saw the look in their eyes, worry and fear. Katy wouldn’t lose another mother. He would not let it happen. He gave them both a hug and sent them on their way.

  “Sarah, you hear that? Our girls are worried about you. You have to get well now.”

  Bertha came back in to the room carrying a teakettle full of boiling water. He threw the bloody water in the basin out the window, filled it with the water from the kettle and put his knife in to soak. He pulled Sarah’s tweezers from off the top of the tall boy dresser and dropped them in, too.

  “Here, thought you’d need these too and I didn’t want to make another trip.” She handed him the hemostats.

  He added those to the basin. After they had soaked for a bit he took them out and put them on a towel. Then he used the water in the basin to wash his hands and then held the instruments over the basin and poured whiskey over them. That was as sterile as he could make them.

  Taking the knife he made one inch incisions on the upper and lower side of the hole from the bullet. He put the knife aside and took a deep breath before he plunged his finger in the wound, working it down until he ran into the bullet. It wasn’t too deep and he felt confident he could get it out with the hemostats. He wiped his hand dry, picked up the instrument and put it into the wound until he hit the lead. Then he carefully grabbed it and pulled it out. He dropped the whole thing into the basin with a splash. Then he took the whiskey and poured it into the wound.

  Sarah screamed. Even unconscious she’d felt the pain. Bertha mixed some laudanum in a glass of water and fed it to Sarah. It would help keep her asleep at least while he sewed up the wound.

  He hated this. His stomach roiled and threatened to bolt because it was Sarah. Seeing her like this scared the crap out of him. He could lose her, like he lost Dorothy. That wasn’t going to happen. He was here this time.

  After he sewed her up he cleaned her again and brought the sheets up under her arms. Now, he needed to go see his girls but first he washed the blood off his hands. No sense scaring them more than they already were.

  He opened the door to Katy’s room. Both girls were on the bed, the puppies under it nipping at their toes. It was one of their favorite games.

  MaryAnn saw him in the doorway and came running.

  “We did like you said and stayed in here until you came to get us. How’s Mama?”

  He picked her up in his arms. “Your Mama was hurt this morning, but she’s going to be fine. I’ll take you in to see her as soon as she wakes up, okay?”

  MaryAnn nodded, tears in her eyes, then wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder.

  Katy came over and hugged his pant leg. He picked her up too and walked to the bed where he sat down and held his daughters. They both cried softly for a little while and then cuddled into him. Soft sniffles coming from both girls.

  “Okay, now. I’m going to go check on Mama. I want you to go with Bertha to the kitchen and get something to eat. Are you hungry?”

  Both girls shook their heads, no.

  “Well you need to eat something anyway. Mama would want you to keep up your strength. Isn’t that right?”

  They both nodded.

  He kissed each girl on top of the head. “Now go on and tell Bertha I said you could each have two cookies.”

  His daughters scrambled off his lap at the thought of an extra treat.

  MaryAnn stopped at the door and turned back. “You sure she’ll be okay?”

  “Yes, sweet. I’ll take care of her and she’ll be right as rain.”

  “I guess that’s alright then. She trusts you and so do I.”

  He was touched. Sarah and MaryAnn trusted him. Considering their background, that was their world they were laying at his feet. He could lift it up or crush it. They trusted him to do what was right.

  Across the hall, Sarah was trying to wake up. She thrashed in the bed until he sat with her and held her. He really didn’t know what he would do if he lost her. He wasn’t equipped to raise one girl much less two on his own. Sure, he had Bertha, but it wasn’t the same as having a mother and he had no intention of marrying again.

  Sarah stirred and opened her eyes. They got large and she said, “William. He’s insane. He thinks I’m going to leave with him. Leave everything and everyone I love to go with him. No, I won’t. I’d rather die.”

  “Hush now. You’re not going to die.” I need you, he added silently.

  “He shot me. I remember he was going to shoot you with that little gun.”

  He sat on the bed next to her. “It never would have reached me. He had a derringer and must not have known much about it. Promise me you will never do that again. You’re giving me gray hair. And scaring the girls who are afraid their mother is going to die like Dorothy did.”

  “Oh, the girls. Are they alright? William threatened to hurt MaryAnn if I didn’t go with him.”

  John growled and said under his breath, “that’s another reason for me to kill him.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing. She’s fine and you shouldn’t get worked up. See. You’ve started bleeding again.” He got a clean towel and blotted the blood away.

  “William? What happened to him?”

  “He got away.”

  “You’ve got to tell the sheriff. He’s the one who started the fire. Well actually, he hired some men to do it. He wanted everyone out of the house. John, he’ll try again. He’s absolutely insane.”

  “I’ll talk to the sheriff. Now I want you to drink this and try and rest.”

  “What is it?”

  “A little laudanum in water. Just enough to relax you so you can get some rest.”

  He helped her sit up so she could drink the water. “Alright. Where’s the doctor? I want to thank him.”

  “You’re looking at him.”

  “You did this?”

  “I tried to wait for the doctor, but he was up the canyon helping with a birth. No telling when he’ll get here, so I took the bullet out and sewed you up.”

  “Thank you, John.” She yawned. “I seem to be getting sleepy.”

  “Good. Just lay back and I’ll cover you up so you can sleep.”

  His words fell on deaf ears. She was already asleep. Now he’d watch her. He knew enough from watching Dorothy care for one of their drovers, who’d gotten trampled. The first twenty-four hours were the worst. It would be bad if she developed a fever. For now he held her hand and watched her sleep.

  CHAPTER 8

  Sarah ran as fast as her legs would carry her but William was catching up. Faster, she must go faster. There was a hitch in her side but she ignored it. He would kill her and MaryAnn. She must get to MaryAnn. Protect MaryAnn.

  Then she remembered. John had MaryAnn, she was safe. John would protect her. John. He would protect them all.

  William was upon her. He held her by the neck and tried to kiss her. She turned her head back and forth, evading him. Kicking him, she screamed until the band around her neck tightened and she couldn’t breathe any longer.

  His face was on her. She screamed and screamed.

  John found her. She was safe. She breathed in his fresh scent and relaxed into his arms.

  John held her. She thrash
ed around and screamed in pain. Her eyes opened and then she stopped and was still. Breathing easier, her eyes closed. He checked her forehead and she was hot. Fever was upon her along with her nightmares.

  He dipped a towel into the clean water in the basin, wrung it out and put it on her forehead. At first she shied away from it and then she pressed into it, wanted the cool, the relief from the heat it provided.

  She continued to burn with fever. John rubbed her down with a cool cloth. He stroked it over her arms, neck and chest. Then he did her face. Each time was the same, she moaned softly and leaned into the cloth.

  The doctor finally arrived early the next morning.

  “I came as soon as I could. Did you take the lead out?”

  John nodded. “Yes. It didn’t appear to have nicked anything vital and the bullet came out whole. I don’t know what’s causing the fever.”

  “It could be anything. I doubt it’s something you did or didn’t do. You did all the things I would have, so stop beating yourself up about it.”

  “But she’s so fragile.”

  “Sarah will be fine. Just get as much liquid down her as possible and try to keep her cool. When the fever breaks she’ll probably get the chills. They you’ll have to keep her warm.

  “Okay, doc. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

  The doctor put his stethoscope back in his bag. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself. You have two little girls that are scared and need you, too.”

  “Don’t worry, Doc. Between me and Bertha we’ll make it.”

  John didn’t show the doctor out. He wanted, no needed, to stay by Sarah’s side.

  “Come on, sweetheart. Come back to us, to me. I can’t lose you Sarah.”

  Bertha came in with more water and some beef broth. “I’m not the best cook but I don’t figure she’ll mind none.”

  “Thank you, Bertha.”

  “Think nothing of it. Now I’ve got supper on the table. You need to go down and be with your daughters for a while. They’re real scared, boss. They need to see their daddy. Need to know everything is going to be alright.”

  “I know. Thanks for staying with her.”

  “I love her too, boss.”

  He nodded to her and walked out of the room.

  Love? He’d told her he loved her but did he? He was scared, scared she might die and leave him. Was that love? He knew he loved MaryAnn. He recognized it because it was like his love for Katy. But he’d never felt like this about any woman. He thought he’d loved Dorothy and she him. But in reality they were comfortable with each other, not in love. He’d never felt the overwhelming need to be with her or fear that he couldn’t be, like he did with Sarah.

  Losing Sarah would be like losing a part of himself. The best part.

  He stopped in the kitchen doorway and watched the people at the table. Ten grown men and two little girls. All quiet and all barely eating. He didn’t think it was Bertha’s cooking that kept them from eating or kept the conversation to a whisper.

  He plastered a smile on his face. “What are you all so quiet for? Sarah’s going to be just fine, but if she wakes up and finds this place turned into a funeral parlor in her absence she’s going to be pi…,” he stopped, looked at his daughters and modified his words, “upset.”

  “Is Mama really going to be okay?” MaryAnn asked, tears welling in her eyes.

  “Yes, she really is but it’s going to take a while and until then I need you and Katy to be real strong for her. Can you do that?”

  MaryAnn leaned over and whispered in Katy’s ear. Katy nodded and looked at her father.

  “Katy and I will be good and help Bertha. We can pick up our rooms and dust and milk the cows, and…and” she burst into tears and Katy followed.

  “Come here both of you.” The girls climbed up into his lap, one on each leg. He hugged them to him and held them close until their crying subsided.

  “Now listen to me. I know you’re scared. I’m scared too, but the best thing we can do is just let Mama rest and try to keep our spirits high for her.”

  “Daddy, why did Uncle William shoot Mama? I don’t understand.”

  William. Just the sound of his name on her innocent lips was enough to send him into a rage, but he held it back for the girls.

  “He’s a very sick man and didn’t mean to shoot your Mama. He was aiming for me and your Mama jumped in the way. She was trying to save my life.”

  “Why’d he wanna kill you?”

  “Well, he thought if I was gone that your Mama would want to go with him back to New York to live.”

  “Away from here? Away from Katy?”

  Though Katy talked now, she was still letting MaryAnn do all of their talking and she just shook her head. Then both girls started to cry again.

  “Hush now. That’s not going to happen. We are a family and your Mama is going to get better. You’ll see. It’s going to be fine.” He hoped he was telling them the truth. Only time would tell.

  Sarah burned with fever for three days waking for only short periods. John made her drink water and broth during those times she was awake. He gave her laudanum only when she appeared to be in pain. The last thing he needed was to get her hooked on the stuff. He nursed her alone refusing to let Bertha help except during supper which he took with the girls. They seemed to like knowing that Daddy was taking care of Mama and he reassured them every day that Mama was going to be okay.

  On the third day the fever broke and Sarah woke up. She was drenched and he got her out of her nightgown and into a fresh one while Bertha put fresh dry linens on the bed. Doc was right. It didn’t take her long to get the chills. John put extra blankets on the bed and when that didn’t help he stripped them both, got in bed with her and held her close.

  She shivered violently and he wrapped one of his legs over hers to help stop the tremors.

  “I’m so cold.”

  “I know love, but it will pass. The worst is past.”

  “I hope you’re right about that.”

  Suddenly she turned in his arms. “John, the baby…?”

  “Is fine,” he soothed her, running his hands up and down her back. “He’s just fine.”

  She settled a bit then. “I was so scared for you. I didn’t know that he couldn’t have hit you with the bullet.”

  He held her closer. “I know. Did I thank you for saving me?”

  “No. You just scolded me for doing it.”

  “Well,” he tucked her hair behind her ear. “Thank you. You didn’t know and I could be wrong about the distance his derringer could shoot. They’re making them accurate at greater distances now. Considering that he probably bought the best that money could buy, you probably did save my life. But that doesn’t mean I ever want you to do that again. You’ve scared the hell out of me these last days.”

  “Does that mean you want me to stay?”

  “Hell, yes. Do you have any idea what my life would be like without you? We’d have to eat Bertha’s cooking.” He teased her, just so happy that she was going to be alright.

  “I knew it. You only want me for my cooking.” She lay back in his arms, just the little bit of teasing taking all her energy.

  “You know that’s not true.” He kissed her forehead thankful to find it cool. “I want you for lots of things.”

  She gave a small shiver and cuddled closer and sleepily said. “I love you, John. Thank you for keeping me.” Then she was sound asleep. The chills had subsided enough for her to rest.

  “I love you, too,” he said to her sleeping form. John held her in his arms. Almost afraid to let her go, that he might lose her. Had it really taken this close call for him to realize he loved her? He hadn’t wanted to love her, he knew now that he used being unfaithful to Dorothy as an excuse. A way to keep her at bay, but his heart had seen through to what his brain refused to grasp. He’d never really loved Dorothy, not really. Not like he loved Sarah. She’d come into his heart with that first blush and entrenched herself there after their first
kiss. A kiss so sweet he still remembered it like it was yesterday not months ago.

  And Katy loved her, too. She and MaryAnn were sisters, not to be parted. Yes, they were afraid they’d lose their mother but they were just as afraid they’d lose each other. He couldn’t let that happen.

  Sarah loved him. She’d told him so. She may have been gripped in the aftermath of a fever when she said it but that was all the more reason it was true.

  He rested his cheek against the top of her head and fell asleep. After keeping vigil in the rocker while she burned with fever, this was the first time in days he’d really slept. With her safe in his arms.

  * * *

  Sarah woke to John suckling her nipples.

  “There you are. I was wondering how long I’d get to play before you woke up.” He grinned at her, his dimples creasing his cheeks the way she loved.

  “You are a bad man, waking me like that,” but she ran her fingers through his thick brown hair and brought his lips up to hers for a kiss.

  “I think you like it and I think that’s the way I’ll wake you from now on.” He lifted himself away from her. “Do you feel like going downstairs for breakfast today? If you don’t I’ll have the girls come in here. They’re anxious to see you.”

  “I’ll go down if you’ll help me. I feel pretty weak.” She buttoned up her nightgown.

  “Of course. Let’s get your robe on you. I’m bringing you right back here after you eat and everyone gets to fawn over you for awhile.”

  “You’re just ready for them to know that I’ll be cooking again soon.”

  While he looked for her robe he said, “Not true. We’ve actually had some good meals from Bertha. She does breakfast really well now. I think she learned something while helping you. We’ve even had breakfast for supper, which was a blessing since her suppers still leave something to be desired.”

  He found her robe and helped her into it over her nightgown, then picked her up in his arms.

  “John!” she wrapped her arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m carrying you down to breakfast. I don’t want you falling and you admitted you’re still very weak from you’re ordeal.”