Village of Noobtown: A LitRPG Adventure (Mayor of Noobtown Book 2)

by Ryan Rimmel

  I strolled toward the Town Hall, intent on meeting Mar, my new clerk. It was another bright sunny day. The ocean breezes kept it from ever being unbearably hot and made for fairly temperate weather. Since my arrival, temperatures had remained consistent. It had yet to rain, and, thinking back, I wasn’t sure if it had even been cloudy. The nights were likewise clear. Looking up, one could see millions of stars. I had never been able to see stars on Earth. My vision was too bad there. I was broken out of my meteorological meanders by my two ever-present pals.

  Badgelor was always either trying to lead me or follow me around, depending on his mood at the moment. People were happy to see me, less so the giant badger. Why he had decided to become giant again, I did not know. Maybe he just wanted to be a dick and scare people. Shart was still in a snit on my shoulder, so it had been a relatively quiet walk. Then, the weasel decided to complain.

  “We should get something to eat,” growled Badgelor, as a brave lad ran up to pet him. The boy chickened out upon a slight whistling snarl. That near petting prompted Badgelor to start giving the stink eye to everyone who came his way. Badgelor was quickly cementing his reputation as an asshole.

  I was kind of hungry, but we could eat after I met the new clerk. I’d been eating most meals with AvaSophia and Fenris, but I had a feeling that would get old soon. Check that, AvaSophia would evict me soon, just maybe not yet. Her gratitude for me saving her family was being gnawed away by me taking her husband out on deadly missions. When she finally cut me off, I would be back to group meals, featuring the delightful cooking of EstherSasha.

  I had considered cooking for myself, but my Improvised Tools skill would have made that into something out of a horror movie.

  “Shart, Jarra the Healer is a Healer?” I asked.

  “You are a genius,” replied Badgelor. He had reverted to his cute and cuddly form, after deciding that walking was for chumps. The badger was now on my left shoulder. Shart was on my right and I swear I could occasionally feel wisps of a breeze around my neck. It was as if someone was moving their arms or legs in a quick, violent jabs. Either that, or one of them had gas.

  I had discovered pretty quickly that Badgelor could tell if I was telepathically communicating to Shart, somehow, and 5 of his 6 ends were pointy. Fortunately, Shart spoke badger as well as the language I normally spoke. Everyone else just got to see me grunting as I walked down the street. Thankfully on Ordinal, talking to your animal companion was perfectly normal. That made exactly one thing that was normal about me here.

  “Yes,” replied Shart, growling over at the interruption. “I would think that was obvious.”

  Grumbling, I continued. “Yes, but why is she a healer? I didn’t see a Healer class.”

  “Oh, that’s not a class. That’s a profession,” replied Shart. “You had professions on Earth, right?”

  “Yes,” I replied, slowly.

  “Same as that,” said Shart. “I assume you had a profession.”

  “I worked in IT,” I stated.

  “That sounds made up. You were Jim the IT Guy?” questioned Badgelor, saying each letter individually. “That’s a strange profession. What did you do?”

  “Mainly, I fixed other people's mistakes,” I said.

  “That’s almost every profession,” dismissed Shart.

  “I was instrumental in getting things done,” I replied.

  “Everyone says that,” replied Badgelor. “I guess IT Guy is an okay title. “

  “Well, I didn’t get officially called Jim the IT Guy. It was just Jim,” I said.

  Badgelor watched, “Why would you choose an easy profession with no title? Were you lazy?”

  “My money is on stupid,” Shart interjected.

  I growled. “My profession was quite challenging. It just didn’t have a fancy title. Only a few professions do on Earth.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense. Did a healer on your planet get a title when they earned their profession?” asked Shart.

  “Yes. Once someone is fully trained to heal, we call them Doctor, along with whatever their last name is.” I said.

  “Their last name? How many names do people have?” Badgelor questioned.

  “Three to four, usually. We have first, middle, and last names. Sometimes, when people get married, women take their husband’s last name. Sometimes, they keep their original last names. There are some that use both their old last name and their husband’s last name. It-”

  “Stop!” Shart ordered. “This is bizarre and giving me a headache. Although, I am beginning to understand what is wrong with you. Being from a place like that must affect a person’s intelligence.

  “What-” Badgelor started to ask, before being hushed by Shart.

  “Back to the topic at hand,” replied the demon, “professions are much the same here. There are some differences in the protocols, because I don’t know what a Doctor is, and it sounds stupid, but Earth is an incredibly weird place.”

  “Yeah, Earth sounds terrible.” stated Badgelor, as we continued to walk. “Hey, what’s that over there?”

  I turned and saw a bird flying to a nest on a nearby roof. I was about to say something regarding the unremarkable nature of this, when I felt Shart’s weight on my shoulder shift. The demon hissed loudly.

  “Well, at least on Earth, I didn’t have two terrible warts grown on my neck,” I said.

  “Jarra the Healer could take care of those for you,” replied Badgelor.

  “I’d like to get them lanced,” I stated.

  “She could probably do that, too,” Badgelor responded, totally missing my little joke. “So, what did you actually do in your weird, made up profession? I’m betting IT is just looking up stuff.”

  “He does just ask questions most of the time,” replied Shart.

  “I’m on a weird new planet after dying. I think a number of questions are justified,” I replied. “Earth was perfectly normal. “

  “Hardly! Earth is more or less unique in the universe,” replied Shart. “It has no menu system at all.”

  Badgelor shuddered. “Is that even possible? How do they live?”

  “Poorly,” replied Shart. “Did you know that in war anyone could attack the other side’s commanding officer, directly?”

  “That’s barbaric,” stated Badgelor.

  On Ordinal, the system enforced rules of war prevented commanders from being targeted, except under specific conditions. In the Battle at the Eastern Gate of the Western Fortress, I’d rushed forward to fight the goblin invaders. Apparently, had I just stood there, they wouldn’t have been able to attack me. Doing so would have violated the rules of mass combat that even goblins are forced to adhere to.

  “I guess that would at least keep them from fighting in wars very often,” continued the badger, shaking his head.

  “Here’s the trick, they fought all the time!” exclaimed Shart.

  Badgelor pressed his muzzle against my cheek. “It’s okay, you are somewhere normal now.”

  Quite unexpectedly, Badgelor lost his balance. He tumbled from my shoulder onto the dusty ground. Shaking himself off, he scrambled back up my shoulder.

  “That still hasn’t answered my question,” I stated. I was becoming mildly irritated. “How do you get a profession HERE.”

  “Oh,” replied Shart. “You could have just asked that. You decide what profession you want and then take the three necessary skills. Once you level them all up to Amateur, you get the profession prompt.”

  “You get bonuses based on how skilled you are in the various ranks,” replied Badgelor helpfully.

  “Jarra the Healer is an Alchemist who focuses on healing. She chose the title ‘The Healer’ when she hit Initiate rank in Alchemy. It's like Doctor but not ridiculous. She also has a few other skills. Her Herbalism and Glassmaking should be at Novice, if she’s an Initiate in her profession,” said Shart, finally answering my question.

  Badgelor grunted and I heard an ugly fist slap into an uglier palm.

&n
bsp; “That’s all there is to it?” I asked.

  “You forgot about the perks,’ the badger said.

  “Earth doesn’t even have perks!” the demon cried.

  “Oh,” replied Badgelor, as if that explained anything, “Well, now I get it. Professions have perks, just like classes, but the profession perks are weaker. Jarra is a healer, so, she probably has perks that focus on healing stuff. She most likely has anywhere from 2 to 5, but I don't know what they are.”

  “It's not gentlemanly to ask,” admonished Shart.

  “Perish the thought,” replied the badger, and we continued walking in silence.

  Chapter 17: Breakfast of Champions

  Ordinal was weird, and it was time for breakfast, so, I let the conversation die. As we approached the town square, I could smell evidence of EstherSasha’s morning meal effort. Passing the rows of tables that formed our outdoor cafeteria, I was relieved to see the cook was not at the huge bubbling kettle. Whatever was in there hardly smelled like food; the odor was far closer to heated up cough medicine.

  The square was in the center of town. When I’d first gotten here, the entire square had been totally overgrown. The trees had been so thick that they prevented walking from one side to the other. Some effort had been made to clear it, but the wood there was not great for construction. Without a functional hall, the square had been a lower priority. Eventually, it would be completely stripped for firewood, if nothing else. For now, though, we still had a very small forest in the middle of town.

  The repaired Town Hall was actually pretty impressive. Most of the repairs in town were ‘patchwork’ quality, due to the lack of proper materials for repair. The Town Hall, however, had been repaired using significant supplies of our newly won iron, as well as other more mundane supplies. The patchwork repairs required upkeep every few days, while this proper repair would make sure the building worked correctly for a long time.

  Wonder how obvious it would be if I broke it? I wondered, but not seriously. If the Town Hall broke, my ability to pay everyone ceased. However, money was just another thing to worry about. I supposed the clerk would be more aware of that, so, I opened the door and strode in like I owned the place.

  It was empty. The entrance was empty. The lobby was empty. The main hall where the lectern stood was empty. I paused for a long moment, before I heard the scratching of a pen. It seemed to be coming from behind the lectern, and I quickly noticed a door that had previously been hidden. Walking through, I found two things. An office with my new clerk in it, and a back door that led right to that office.

  I knocked and the scratching of the pen on paper got more irritable. “He’s not in yet. I’ll talk to him about your quests as soon as he gets here.”

  Talk to me about my quests?

  Then I noticed the glaring absence for the first time. I didn’t have those dozen or so trivial XP quests in my view anymore. Given how much effort I’d been putting forth to ignore them, the fact that they were now missing filled me with profound relief.

  I wondered what dramatic or cool thing I should say to alert Mar to my presence. He would probably be expecting some sort of show, some display of power to show who was in charge. Then again, he might not be the kind of guy who was impressed by that. I glanced at him.

  Mar: Clerk Novice

  Role: Town Clerk

  HP: 25/25

  Stamina: 30/30

  Mana: 10/10

  Skill: Administrator Initiate

  Skill: Penmanship Novice

  Skill: Bureaucracy Amateur

  Now, the Lore screen made more sense. Mar was a Novice clerk. He probably wouldn’t get an upgrade until he got his Bureaucracy skill up, at which point he’d get up to Initiate. He raised an eyebrow as I stared at him. Badgelor brushed past me and stomped into the office.

  “You jerk, I want food!” stated the badger. This got Mar’s attention.

  He stood up, placed the palms of his hands on his desk, and stated, “Sir, you will need to remove that foul smelling animal from this office at once!”

  “Hey, Jim doesn’t smell that foul,” declared Badgelor. “Don’t worry, Jim. I got your back.”

  I facepalmed as the badger stood up and continued his grunting tirade at Mar, who was busy glaring at me.

  “I like Mar,” stated Shart.

  “This badger is my animal companion,” I replied. This did not phase Mar.

  “No, you are my human companion,” growled Badgelor. This also did not phase Mar.

  Mar tore his eyes from the badger and glared at me. That didn’t last long, as I had the aforementioned name tag floating above my head.

  “Mr. Mayor, sir,” he sputtered. “I was waiting for you to arrive and didn’t want the office to get … gamey.”

  I sniffed. The building had that new construction smell. At least, it did before Badgelor arrived. He did not smell like a fresh spring breeze; his scent was more of a fresh spring breeze over a dung heap. A dung heap that they were also using to store garbage... and bodies. Bodies that died by being smothered in more dung.

  “Badgelor, you need to go take a bath. You stink.” I informed the furrier of my two companions.

  “It's part of my musk,” replied the badger. “I am not going to change just to make you happy.”

  “The lady I’m going to get breakfast from won’t let you come in and eat smelling like that.”

  Badgelor paused. “Oh, that’s how it is? I see. The creek is that way?” He walked out of the Town Hall and towards the nearby creek. What is it with these animals and food?

  Turning back to Mar, I could tell he did not speak badger. He had the drawn eyebrow look of a person trying to understand a foreign language. I could only imagine the added confusion and stress had Badgelor been in his War Form.

  “So, what do you do here, and do you want the job?”

  Mar was busy opening another window, and it took him a moment to respond, “Well, to answer your second question first, I do want the job. I didn’t take it just because you offered it. I was an administrator in a law office before the unpleasantness. As for what I do, the town clerk is responsible for filtering out the unnecessary bits from the mayor. I assign quests to other villagers that can handle them, reassign jobs as necessary, and the like.”

  That had been exactly what I was doing for the past several days. It was very unsatisfying to me, but he enjoyed it. To each his own and more power to him. Then, I realized something. “If you are doing all that, what’s left for the mayor to do?”

  “Mayor quests and missions for the town, I suspect,” he replied, opening one last window. “Much like every other mayor.”

  Oh, he’s an asshole. Great.

  “Well, great. Are there any mayor quests?” I asked, finding a chair and pulling it over to his desk. Mar looked pained as I spun it around and sat on it backwards. Mar was a bit … touchy.

  “None at the moment, and I’ve assigned all the other quests to townsfolk who could perform them,” replied Mar. “Everyone thought you were running yourself ragged trying to deal with all the details over the last few days. This should make everyone happy.”

  You could reassign quests. That’s awesome to know.

  “Well, then, any new missions?” I asked.

  “No,” he responded with a snort. “Wouldn’t you know?”

  I smiled and then went into menu time.

  “Shart,” I called, “this guy is starting to piss me off. What is a mission?”

  “A mission?” replied the demon, as his body formed up into my menus. He was sitting on the large W in Woodsman on my character sheet. “You know when the Mayor of a town decides to do something and he reaches deep down and - “

  “It's on the town menu, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, Dum Dum,” replied the demon, “Under the planning tab.”

  Growling, I went to the planning tab. In my defense, there were many tabs in the town interface, and I hadn’t gone through all of them, yet. I hadn’t had time. My initial
quick glance into planning showed that it mostly involved building new things. Since I already had a bunch of broken things, I had closed the tab and forgotten it. I’d spent most of my time on the maintenance tab.

  When I got there now, I found the mission selector easily enough. Missions, it seemed, were town objectives that I could assign a group of people to perform. They weren’t simple repairs, though. There was a mission for fully repairing the town. I glanced at that and saw that I had both maintenance crews assigned to the task, as well as a good number of the town’s resources.

  Not enough, though, it seemed. Several of the repairs required materials that were listed in red, as in ‘You don’t have these.’ There was a timer on it, however. I had enough materials to get about 70% of the work done in 3 more weeks. After that, I’d have to get more materials to finish the repairs.

  Then, I noticed there were more active missions, including one for the nearby forest. It needed to be tended by a forester, as well as being worked by a lumberjack. That one was set to be completed in 4 days’ time, after my assigned crew achieved a few more goals. I didn’t see the mine in the active log, but I noticed a separate log for completed missions.

  The completed log had all the quests that had been finished in the past 90 days. The operation for restoring the mine was listed as completed. The mission reward had been a small amount of readily available iron, as well as 50 town experience points.

  Another experience bar?

  Flipping over to the town menu, I found the town experience. We were halfway to level 4, but there were conditions to meet before the town could level up. For one, we needed a positive cash flow. As it stood, we were losing money every day. There was also a population requirement. We would need at least 100 people to reach the next level. We were currently at 92, if you included the children and one statue.