Village of Noobtown: A LitRPG Adventure (Mayor of Noobtown Book 2)

by Ryan Rimmel

  It was far, far worse than I could have imagined. Real Fifty Shades stuff was everywhere. Whips, chains, a rack, and everything else one could hope to find in a sex lab. There was also a distinct lack of stuff one would expect to find in a wholesome Forestry Hut.

  “Well, that explains why all the wood is outside,” whistled Shart.

  “Yeah,” replied Badgelor, “it’s not the kind of wood that OttoSherman needs in here.”

  “Children,” I admonished both my companions, who were currently guffawing like teenage boys.”

  “Come, Jim,” greeted SueLeeta. Her armor was gone, and she was holding a riding crop.

  Chapter 69: Two-Sided Battle

  SueLeeta’s hysterical laughter finally stopped about halfway back to the barracks. “You didn’t know that OttoSherman was a stone cold freak?”

  “I thought he was planning forestry stuff,” I replied. Shart was still laughing. Badgelor had laughed so hard that he’d actually shit himself.

  “No, OttoSherman has been with every eligible maiden in the town,” she chuckled.

  “Everyone?” I muttered.

  “Oh, everyone,” she said, grinning fondly.

  I wonder what Skill that is?

  “That’s information I now know,” I stated, as we entered the barracks. Zorlando and Fenris were already there, looking at a map in the corner. Walking over to them, I was surprised that it appeared to be a copy of my mental map of the town. All the enemy positions were revealed. I opened my own map and noticed that it had been updated, too. The siege timer was also there, counting down the minutes.

  We had 9 hours and 32 minutes before the barrier shrank again.

  “There are 800 goblins encamped to the north and another 800 encamped to the south,” stated Fenris, without preamble. “I moved some scouts to see what they are up to, but they haven’t been able to get any closer than SueLeeta did. The goblins’ positions seem unchanged.”

  “Well, as dug in as they are, I don’t see it mattering much,” replied Zorlando. “Those cauldrons are probably in the dead center of their camps.” He gestured to the map. I couldn’t disagree with him. Looking closely, I could see how the formations were set up. Both were essentially donuts; the cauldrons occupied the middle, with the goblins surrounding the pots a little way out.

  That wasn’t the limit of their troops, however. Both forces had also expanded toward the barrier, screening the main forces and the cauldrons. It ensured that the cauldrons wouldn’t be in jeopardy, should we decide to pop out of the barrier, hit them with arrows, and retreat inside.

  Using the barrier in this way, we might eventually be able to kill enough goblins to break their forces. It was a process that would take days, though. We didn’t have that kind of time. Furthermore, I could see us getting caught in a position where we would have to attack from inside the barrier. Doing so would cause it to collapse, just like when JoeClarance threw that rock.

  “I might be able to sneak in,” I offered, looking at the map.

  “Mayor,” replied SueLeeta consideringly, “I surveyed both those sites. I know that you are stealthy, but I’m not sure that even you could make it. It would require a higher degree of sneaking than I’ve ever seen you sneak before.”

  We spent the next half hour discussing possible strategies without coming up with any real conclusions. I asked Shart his opinion several times, but even the demon couldn’t think of anything with the available data. Badgelor suggested a direct assault and killing spree which was unhelpful.

  “Could Badgelor dig under them?” I asked in Badger.

  “Well, I could get there, probably,” stated Badgelor, looking hard at the map. “That one right there is next to the stream, though. My tunnel could flood and collapse. I would drown before I would be able to dig my way out.”

  “What about the other one?” I asked.

  “That’s sand,” replied the badger. “It will fill in around me, and I’ll suffocate.”

  I studied the map again. There were plenty of locations where Badgelor could have just dug in and stolen the cauldrons. Yet, for some strange reason, the enemy had set themselves up in just the right locations to make it impossible. Reviewing further, they weren’t even the best spots for a conventional defense. The goblins were not well positioned to take advantage of the surrounding terrain. The northern camp’s back was right up against a deep, fast moving stream, cutting off a potential avenue of escape. The southern camp was on a sand dune that provided poor footing. My troops could very likely outmaneuver them with ease. It didn’t make sense.

  “Shart, why did they choose those positions?” I asked.

  The demon stared at the map for a long time. I was beginning to think he had gone off to his weird demon dream world. Finally, he spoke. “I’m not sure. Unless they know that you have a tunneling War Badger, there is no reason for them to have done that.”

  “I don’t see any better options,” Fenris finally stated. Fenris and Zorlando were both still standing around the map. SueLeeta had decided to lie down on a nearby bench. The map hadn’t changed any, and she was more of a solo affair. Moving men around the board didn’t interest her much, especially considering that the moves didn’t seem to improve our position.

  Our current strategy was to have SueLeeta and me snipe at the enemy. The militia would stay inside the barrier, where the goblins could see them. SueLeeta and I would start picking off goblins. It would work eventually, but eventually might be too long. Also, we didn’t know how many more of those Weird Sisters were out there.

  That left me staring at this damn map. I had a problem that I couldn’t solve in the eight hours I had available. Even if I wanted to attack one of the camps, my own men were exhausted and wounded from the previous battle. They needed time to rest before I used them again. Then, I received a flashing, red prompt.

  Western Fortress is under attack.

  “And now this,” I muttered, pointing to the fortress. It was technically under the town’s control, and we did have a garrison there. That allowed the map to display it for everyone. The results weren’t pretty. There was a force of 400 humans attacking the fortress, sort of.

  The fortress was composed of many parts. There was the large wall to keep out invaders, the massive gate to let people through while also keeping out invaders, and the keep built into the wall. It was there that the men would stand and defend the fortress, if the gate was breached.

  I’d been in the keep several times. It was stoutly defended and designed to be nearly impregnable. This new threat was going to need a while to break into it. They would need even longer, if they didn’t have the kind of equipment needed for the job. It would take more than just a battering ram to get into that magically fortified place.

  Searching through my Battle Map, I found the name of the enemy army. It was listed as the Pumas, led by Durg.

  “Wow, if you’d marched into that forest, he would have killed you,” stated Shart.

  “You said there were, like, 50 of them,” I replied.

  “I said I detected around 50 of them in one camp,” stated the demon. “I can’t see very far with that spell and you didn’t ask about other camps. Shit, they must have been hiding all over those woods.”

  “What are they doing now?” asked Fenris, as the enemy army shifted around. The Pumas began breaking off into columns. It was difficult to interpret on the map, but it looked like they were heading out of the fortress and straight toward Windfall. Taking a partially manned fortress would have been a bad investment. Taking a city, on the other hand, was quite a bit more profitable.

  “Well that is regrettable,” stated Zorlando, side-eyeing several of his men. Part of being a Mercenary was knowing when to cut and run. This was about it for him.

  Fenris caught Zorlando’s sudden shift in mood. He glowered at the soldier but said nothing. It would be like arguing with a leopard about his spots. A Mercenary was only in it for the money, and we weren’t paying them nearly enough for all this nons
ense.

  Upon hearing the commotion, SueLeeta had jumped back to her feet. As a Hunter, she could probably get into the woods and flee. She wouldn’t, though. It went against her temperament. A more selfish person would be staring at the map, trying to find a way out. She wasn’t starting at the map. She was staring straight at me.

  “Jim?” she asked.

  Her expression could have killed me. It was hopelessness mixed with disappointment. She had just known that I would figure out a solution, somehow. I’d save her and the townspeople.

  Ordinal was not going to give her that, though. We now had 4 armies preparing to attack us. The bandits to the west would be here in a few hours, if they walked down the road that we had just oh so helpfully cleared. The goblins were to the north and the south; they were within easy reach of Windfall. There was also the matter of the missing army of elite goblins. They had vanished into the mines yesterday and not been seen or heard from since.

  All we had were a handful of exhausted militia and a unit of untrustworthy Mercenaries.

  Fenris looked downcast. The knowledge that his family was again in danger was dawning on him. Zorlando looked like he was deciding whether to bolt or actively betray us to keep his Mercenary band intact. He had already payment; there was nothing keeping him and his men here. Of course, SueLeeta was still openly staring at me, wide-eyed.

  I was smiling.

  “We have an expression where I come from,” I said, scrounging for a quill and parchment. “If you have a problem, you have a problem. If you have several problems, you can often use one to deal with the other.”

  Fenris’ eyebrows furrowed, well, furrowed more. “What do you mean?”

  I jotted down a quick description of our heavily damaged forces and our plans to assault the goblins. “Our reinforcements are coming.”

  Chapter 70: The Clever Plan

  SueLeeta had done a masterful job of going out around the road to the Western Gate Fortress. She avoided running into every single goblin patrol, until she found a goblin that she determined looked important. After a quick skirmish, SueLeeta had been ‘wounded’, causing her to drop the critical scroll that contained our battle plans.

  All goblins were lazy, but some were at least a bit intelligent. Upon finding the letter and realizing that a force of 600 humans was marching toward Windfall to relieve us, the goblin quickly brought it to the northern camp. Fortunately for us, that goblin leader decided that more help was necessary. He, in turn, sent a messenger to the southern camp. Further scroll reading informed them that everyone who could fight in the city was nearly dead after the last battle. The goblin leaders came together and decided that they could both spare enough troops to ambush this new army.

  Only a couple of hours later, around 1400 goblins began marching out to cut off our ‘reinforcements’. According to the scroll, they would be encountering blood thirsty, goblin killing Mercenaries that I’d hired in Narwal.

  You have learned the skill Forgery. You are an Amateur. Pass? Of course, I have a pass. It's right here!

  Tricking them had been so easy. I’d simply written a battle plan that included the bandits as members of my own army. The goblins fought with each other, to be sure, but they understood the concept of unifying against outside foes. They would never know the difference between a hostile bandit and a hired soldier. I just wish I could witness the look on Durg’s face when he sees over a thousand goblins headed right for him.

  From the barracks’ Battle Map, I was able to see both armies, bandits and goblins, as well as their relative battle strength. Had there actually been 600 men, the Puma gang would have had the advantage. They only had 400, so the battle was more or less even. Hopefully, whichever side won would be so chewed up that they wouldn’t be able to continue a battle with Windfall. The siege timer was still counting down. We had less than 3 hours before the barrier would shrink again. We had less than 2 hours before our enemies found each other on the road.

  Our men gathered up to begin attacking the northern goblin camp as soon as the other battle commenced. I’d reported in the scroll that our forces had been crippled. I was counting on goblin messengers having told the camps of our battle at the mine. Those accounts would support my claim of heavy injuries and casualties. At minimum, I hoped that a goblin commander would trust information captured from a desperate human commander more than he trusted his own unreliable fellows.

  “The armies should engage in about an hour,” stated SueLeeta, gesturing towards the map in the barracks. Zorlando nodded, looking far happier now that his force wasn’t so terribly outnumbered. Our plan was the height of simplicity. We were just going to run in and smash everything until we got to the cauldron. Then, we were going to break it or steal it, before heading to the cauldron in the southern camp.

  I had approximately an hour to deal with some loose ends.

  Chapter 71: Loose Ends

  I walked through Windfall. The citizens were still rushing around, trying to gather up patching materials for the walls. I had ordered everyone to man the walls in an hour, and the citizens were also grabbing anything that could be used as a weapon. I was seen by all, walking calmly. The people felt comforted. My armor shone in the sunlight, and a sweet breeze from the sea carried away the unpleasant scent of goblin that surrounded the village. Badgelor was ranging ahead of me, his nose to the ground. Shart was on my shoulder, perturbed. For once, he didn’t seem to understand everything that was transpiring.

  The square was a hive of activity. The ringing of the blacksmith’s hammer filled the air. I watched a young boy standing in front of the bowyer's shop, as the proprietor strapped 5 overloaded quivers and a spare bow onto the lad’s back. Within moments, the boy was rushing off toward the rally point. Indeed, there was only one shop in the whole square that wasn’t active.

  I left the square and followed the road past Windfall Manor. It was still damaged. Construction materials had been placed near the main house. It would soon be repaired and ready for occupancy, assuming the town survived the siege. The home was an older style townhouse, quite large, with a peaked roof and a turret. I always told my wife that I’d eventually get a house with a turret. She always rolled her eyes.

  “Why are we strolling around?” asked Shart. “This close to battle, you aren’t going to be given any more morale bonuses.”

  “You caught the scent?” I asked.

  Badgelor nodded. “This way.”

  I continued following the badger. We walked until we got to the burned out section of town. It was dominated by the ruins of buildings. Most were utterly destroyed, but there were still partial sections here and there, amidst the structural corpses.

  Finally, Badgelor stopped. He pointed to a door that had partially fallen from its hinges. I pushed it and the door opened. The single remaining hinge was quiet, as if it had been recently oiled. Stepping into the building, I walked only a few paces. A few paces was all it took to spot the wide open cellar door.

  I sat down on a nearby barrel and glanced at Badgelor. “If you please?”

  He harrumphed but quickly scurried out of the building.

  “If you think I’m going to demean myself by asking you what’s going on, you have another thing coming,” thought Shart.

  I said nothing, and we waited. After about 10 minutes, I started to feel my shoulder demon quivering. After 15, he finally growled.

  “What the hell is going on?” thought Shart.

  “When we got to the woods beside the mine, no one bothered us,” I thought back to him, in an apparent non-sequitur.

  “Yes,” replied the demon.

  “Right at first light, everyone was getting up after a restful night’s sleep. Suddenly, the goblins rushed out to defend the cauldron.” I explained.

  “There could have been many reasons for that,” thought Shart thoughtfully.

  “The other two cauldrons were placed where Badgelor couldn’t dig to get to them. I couldn’t sneak to get to them, and SueLeeta couldn’t j
ust snipe at them,” I thought. “Those goblin camps were conveniently set up so that our last resort, a badger, couldn’t help us.

  “That’s just good planning,” replied Shart.

  “If you know what your enemy can do,” I stated. “You said it yourself. The goblins’ defensive positions had no reasoning behind them, unless they knew what my animal companion was.” With no warning, Badgelor emerged right in front of me. He shook himself violently. Crypt dust and ancient mud flew off his matted fur.

  “Done,” he said pleasantly.

  I wiped the dirt off my face and walked over to the cellar. “I guess we’ll have to do this, then.”

  Looking down into the cellar, I could make out a lone staircase. The stairs led into what should have been darkness, yet I could see a small trickle of light in the distance. The darkness was also broken by the light reflecting off a dozen eyes.

  I flipped through the town menu and changed one of the resident’s settings. As the listing was flipped to ‘enemy’, I heard a shocked gasp in the distance. It was only because the gasper remained underground that they didn’t immediately burst into flame.

  “GowenDoud,” I stated calmly. I’d been in those cellars before; I knew sound carried quite well. It took a minute, but the tailor eventually walked to the base of the stairs. The small lantern in his hand allowed one to perfectly see the look of surprise on his face. It was priceless, if one were for gloating.

  Chal’dor’sic, the Shadow Goblin, was with him. When I’d last seen him at the first mine battle, he had looked annoyed. He still did. “Human, you collapsed the tunnel back to the mine.”

  I nodded. “I figured that you wanted the mine to move your troops into town through the tunnels. If you broke into town while the barrier was disrupted, and then someone attacked you, you would have free reign in a portion of Windfall.”