Odium (The Dead Saga.)

by Riley, Claire C

  All the men are laughing again, and are taking turns at either whipping or zapping the deader. My stomach turns. Why would they do that? It’s dead and doesn’t feel anything. It doesn’t care what they do to it, so what’s the point in it all? It seems so unnecessary and sadistic. They’re torturing it for no other reason than to satisfy their own urges.

  I turn away from them, feeling sick, and climb down the little incline. I run after and finally fall into step beside Duncan. His pace is quicker than when we were on our way here—almost a jog.

  “I don’t understand what I just saw, Duncan.”

  “They’re twisted and evil.” His pace picks up further.

  “But, they’re survivors like us, they…”

  Duncan swings round to look at me. “Look, you have no idea what they are capable of. There were more of us at one point. There’s a reason only Mikey goes on the scavenger hunt to the stores.”

  I stare at him as I realize what he means. “But why would they do that?”

  “We need to get back.” Duncan turns and carries on walking. “Not everyone in this world is as good as you, Nina.”

  “You make it sound like I’m a goody two-shoes or something, Dunc,” I snort.

  “You are, compared to them. They don’t give a shit about the dead or the living. They would especially hate you and Emily because you were behind the walls too. They want the power and the control, and they’ll do anything to get it.”

  I follow after him, dumbfounded. I thought the worst in this world to fear was the dead and the prison camp behind the walls, but apparently there are yet more horrors to experience.

  As we climb back up the steps, I’m actually glad for all the branches that we have let overgrow the area, since it makes it harder to spot us up here. I look up and see Mikey looking down at us with a grin on his face. It falls when he sees our serious expressions.

  “What’s up? Are you okay?” Mikey all but pushes Duncan out of the way to get to me and I can’t hold in the laugh.

  “I’m fine, thank you, Mr. Bodyguard.” I shrug him off.

  “Forgotten over at the hub again,” Duncan says with a sour look. “At least they didn’t spot us, but I’m regretting putting out the deader limbs now.”

  “The what?”

  “Your girlfriend here had a great idea about hanging deader limbs around the patch to see if it covered our scent from them.” Duncan smiles. I scowl and Mikey just looks damn uncomfortable.

  “I’m not his girlfriend.” I stare at Mikey, daring him to disagree with me. “But it was a good plan.” I turn back to Duncan. “You’re right, though. If they go traipsing through the woods, they’re going to know that someone has been there recently. Nothing we can do about it now, though. They would have found the vegetable patch and realized eventually anyway.”

  I stalk off to find Emily and the others before either of them can say anything else. I don’t know what irritates me more: the fact that Mikey keeps acting so protective of me, or the fact that I actually like it. And I hate the thought that people think we’re a couple. It’s not just Duncan, it’s Crunch, too, and I’ve seen the smiles Britta keeps throwing my way whenever Mikey sits next to me. I feel like I’m back in school.

  I stomp into my little hut and find Emily sprawled on her camp bed looking at some old photos. She smiles at me, and then laughs at my sour expression, like I’m something to be messed with.

  “What’s so funny?” I grumble and sit down near her feet.

  “You. You’re always so…” She shrugs and smiles again.

  “What?”

  “I don’t know—grumpy. It’s funny.”

  “I am not always grumpy.”

  “Yeah, you are, but I still love you.” She hugs me awkwardly from behind, and I pat her arm.

  “Whatever, get off me.” I shrug out of her embrace. “What’s that you’re looking at?”

  Emily holds out the photos to me and I see they are the ones from Old Man Riely’s house. Happy faces smile back at me and a lump instantly forms in my throat. I flip through them all. They’re the same old photos that everyone has in their own home—or used to: smiling faces, arms holding each other, a couple kissing on their wedding day, an older man and what must have been his wife standing next to my big Hummer.

  I don’t even realize that I’m crying until my tears drip onto the photos. I rub them away with my hand, and Emily hugs me again. I don’t push her off this time.

  Eighteen.

  “So it’s agreed, then? We’re going over there?”

  “Yeah, but it has to be soon. They seem to do a round trip and swing back to the hub after a day or so, leaving us enough time to get over there and get what we need before they even realize.” Mikey’s voice sounds strained with worry.

  “Maybe we could stay there. If we have the resources, then what’s stopping us from defending the place? Or maybe if we keep the noises down they will still think that it’s full of deaders. Eventually they are going to get bored of looking for us, right?” Britta asks as she serves up dinner to the group.

  “I’m going with you.” I stand in the doorway of the dining hut, suddenly unsure of myself. The smell of cooked rabbit is making my mouth water. I don’t even know if they will let me come, but I’m willing to put myself forward to help either way. I’m a half-decent fighter these days; well maybe not decent, but I can be vicious when I need to be.

  Emily turns to look at me, her eyes wide. “But what about dinner?”

  I snort loudly. I’m glad that my safety isn’t her primary concern anymore, but really? I’m coming second to her dinner!

  “Obviously not before dinner, Emily.” The smell of the food cooking makes my stomach groan, and I’m pretty damn sure that it can be heard by everyone, but I don’t care. Meat is a very rare commodity these days, and by the looks on everyone’s faces, they’re all looking forward to it too.

  JD sits in the corner, his hand on Josie’s knee almost affectionately. Almost. It’s more possessive than affectionate. “You’re more than welcome to come along, but don’t think that we won’t leave you behind if you get into trouble. We don’t go by the whole ‘no man gets left behind’ motto. If you fall, you die. If you get lost, you die. If you—”

  “I get it,” I cut him off midsentence. “There’s a whole lot of dying going on for me if I get into trouble. Whatever.” I had expected them to say no to me, or at the very least be pleased that I want to risk my life for us all and say yes to me. I hadn’t expected them to be so cold about it. Well, not them, but JD.

  “I’m just saying that you won’t get any special treatment just because…”

  “She gets it!” Mikey cuts JD off this time, and I’m glad that someone has. Though the look that passes between them is a confusing one.

  It’s easier to take a seat and ignore it, though, what with dinner being served up and all. Duncan and Britta are damn fine cooks, and my stomach is always appreciative of their offerings.

  A bowl is placed in front of me, and as usual, I can tell that there is not nearly enough to fill my stomach. I look at it for a minute or so. Meat, potatoes, carrots, onions—damn, we’re almost civilized. Only the sounds of the group slurping and chewing and the occasional moan of pleasure can be heard. I look around at them all, hunched over their bowls and greedily swallowing, and can’t help but smile. I tuck into my share of food, and as the explosion of flavors hit my mouth, I release a groan of pleasure too. I don’t even realize that I’ve done it until it’s left my mouth. My cheeks flame, but I keep my head ducked and spoon another mouthful in, chewing every last morsel so I can savor the flavor completely.

  It’s over too soon. There’s a motto there somewhere. I show no shame in scooping my hand around the inside of the bowl to get every drop out. When I finish, I lean back in my chair with my eyes closed in sheer, blissful pleasure. I can feel my body relaxing, and give in to the urge to doze off.

  “Nina.”

  I stir from my sleep begrudgingl
y, opening one eye and then the other. The room is quite dark, dusk is setting in, and Mikey’s face is hovering over mine.

  “Hey.” He smiles at me, and I stretch and smile back.

  “Hey yourself. I can’t believe I fell asleep like that.” I stretch my back out further and hear a series of small cracks. It’s a satisfying sound.

  “You must have been really tired.” He gives a low laugh and looks away. “I thought it best to wake you though. The others left to go to bed, but I didn’t want you to be freaked out when you woke up and it was pitch black or something.”

  Well, that’s kind of cute.

  “Mikey, is that your idea of an apology for making me live up in the trees like an Ewok?” I laugh.

  He laughs back lightly. “That’s very cool you know.”

  I blush and look away. I again don’t bother to correct him that it wasn’t by choice that I watched the damn movie, but instead move the subject onwards.

  “So why did you really wake me?” I probe deeper.

  “I was bored. You’ve been sleeping for ages…”

  My blush deepens and I’m glad it’s dark. I can’t believe he sat with me this whole time. I hope I didn’t snore.

  “…and it was getting dark. I thought it best you get to your hut before it gets too dark.” He adds on quickly.

  I nod in agreement. “Is Emily okay?”

  “Yeah, she went to sleep a while ago. She seems pretty happy here. So, you two, you were behind one of the walls for the past year, right?” He bites his fingernails and I have the urge to smack his hand away. God knows how many germs are on those hands.

  “Yeah.” Talk of the wall is making me feel uncomfortable, and I stand and stretch my legs out.

  “What’s it like behind them?” He sits on the table with his feet on one of the wooden chairs while he watches me walk around the little hut.

  What’s it like? Jesus, what a question.

  “It’s no safer behind them than it is out here, if I’m honest.” I look out the little window and stare into the rustling trees and sigh. “Sure, there are no deaders, but behind the wall there are—how can I put this? —let’s call them oppressors…”

  He stands up and comes over to me. “Yeah, but oppressors you can beat up.” He gives a dry laugh and cracks his knuckles. “Especially you. You’re a badass, right?”

  “Not these ones. Behind the wall, the oppressors are also your protectors. You stand up to them and they kick you out. Which is why I’m here.” I can feel him watching me, his eyes boring into the side of my face. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel nervous that a man is looking at me. I feel safe.

  “So, what did you do? I mean, what did they do?”

  I turn and look at him, my eyes wet with unshed tears. “Whatever they wanted to.”

  I see the look on his face change into so many emotions, in a matter of seconds, before finally landing back on a blank one. “Why did you stay, then?”

  “What choice did I have?” I huff. “If I had left, I would have been killed by the dead right away!”

  “So why the fuck did you leave in the end? You don’t make any sense.” He scratches a hand through his stubble angrily, glaring at me.

  “Behind the walls, they control everything: the food you eat, the clothes on your back, the water you drink. They get to decide where you sleep, what your job will be. But more importantly, in the end they decide whether you live or die. If you go up against them, they send you back over the wall. So you see it really isn’t about being a badass—which I am, I must add, though I never used to be.” I look away from him. The haunted look on his face is too much. I don’t want his or anyone’s sympathy. “I guess when I saw what they were doing to Emily, I just sort of thought ‘fuck it.’ I wasn’t living, I was existing. They took my body first, and my mind slowly went, too, until I saw her face, until I saw how scared she was, and I knew I couldn’t stay any longer. If it meant dying, then so be it. At least I’d die for a reason.”

  Silence encompasses us and I presume he’s mulling over what I just told him. If he reads between the lines, the story is pretty clear. I don’t want him to ask me any more questions so I decide to ask him one instead.

  “How come you weren’t behind the wall?”

  I hadn’t really thought about it before, or maybe it’s just that regardless of who these people are, it really is as simple as I just put it, and I feel safer here than I ever did behind the wall.

  Mikey looks uncomfortable and his voice seems to miss a beat before he continues. “I, um, I didn’t get there in time. When I tried to get in, it was too overrun with zombies, so I had to find somewhere else to hide. I’ve never bothered to try since. There didn’t seem much point. The walled cities are few and far between, and we have a good thing going on here. Or we did.”

  I can feel him looking at me again and I return his stare. His eyes are soft and dark, a slight smile turning up at the corner of his mouth. I notice, for what seems like the first time, how attractive he actually is. His arms are toned and ridiculously strong, his shoulders broad. “Until the Forgotten showed up, you mean?” I ask. My voice is quieter than I had meant it to be. In an odd way, the Forgotten don’t scare me as much as Lee and his little group of idiots did, but maybe that’s because I haven’t really met them yet. Or maybe it’s because Mikey is here with me, and he makes me feel safe—safe and womanly.

  Some hair has come loose from my bun, and he reaches over to brush it away from my shoulder. “Yeah, until they showed up.”

  His touch sends shivers down my spine, but I don’t recoil from it. He slowly rubs the lock of my dark hair distractedly between his finger and thumb.

  “Because they’re dangerous?” Seems like a stupid question to ask, but it’s the only one I can think of right now, since my mind has gone blank and I can’t seem to look away from his mouth.

  “Yeah. Really dangerous.” Mikey lets go of the lock of hair. His hand reaches up until the pad of his thumb is under my chin, his rough fingers touching lightly against my cheek.

  Our eyes lock, and I can’t seem to break free of the stare. Or maybe I don’t want to. His touch is caring and honest, the first genuine show of affection from a man in such a long time.

  I’m lost for words, and as Mikey leans in close to my face, my breath catches and my eyes flutter closed to match his. Do I want this? Him? I have no idea, but I know that I like him, even if I’m not ready to admit that to anyone else just yet.

  “Ahem!”

  I open my eyes and look to the doorway where Crunch stands. Her icy glare could kill small animals, maybe even a zombie or two. I pull away from Mikey, uncomfortable now that the moment has been disturbed.

  “What?” Mikey stands close to me, his arm across the tops of my shoulders. I move around to the other side of the table, two sets of eyes following me the whole time.

  “Sorry, was I interrupting?” Her ice queen death stare follows through into her words, and I force myself to act unaffected by them.

  “No,” I answer quickly.

  “Yes,” Mikey answers and stares at me. His eyebrows furrow in confusion at my coldness.

  “I need to go get some sleep.” I’m standing in front of Crunch now, but she makes no attempt to get out of my way, which is unfortunate for her since I’m not in any mood to be polite. “Move…Now.”

  She looks at me for a couple more seconds before giving me a sly grin and stepping out of my way. I squeeze past her and go to find Emily. I shake my head at my own stupidity as I hear them start up a whispered argument behind me. It’s pretty obvious that she’s into him. The icy looks, the snarky attitude. Wait, that could just be her general attitude, come to think of it. Either way, she hasn’t liked me since I arrived, that much is clear. And either way, a relationship is the last thing I need to confuse the situation.

  I need to speak to Emily tomorrow about what happened before I arrived here at our little camp in the trees. I haven’t spent much time with her
since we got here. Eating, sleeping, and adjusting to living like monkeys in the trees seem to have taken up most of my time, but now I need to get my ass into gear and sort myself out. There’s a lot I don’t know about the group, and I think it’s imperative that I find out as much as I can.

  Nineteen.

  The sun blazes down on me, making my skin feel hot and sticky under its rays. The hut I share with Emily is small, with one window and an open doorway, but the sun, goddamn it, has managed to sneak in through that one small window and blaze down upon my face like it’s the fucking Messiah and I’m its trusty disciple. I turn over with a grumble, pulling the blanket up over my face, but after a couple of minutes of getting even hotter under the scratchy blanket, I give up.

  I sit up with a huff and automatically do what I try to do every morning: I reach for my clock. Of course, it’s not there. It hasn’t been there for a long time, but old habits die hard, and I hate not knowing the time. It shouldn’t matter, but it’s annoying more than anything. I look out the window. The sun has moved from its position now, and isn’t glaring down at me anymore, so I have a clear view of the trees outside. I’m too awake now to go back to sleep, though I wish I could. I wonder if anyone else is up yet. Duncan always seems to be an early riser, then again, he always seems to be the first to bed, too, whereas I’m always one of the last.

  Emily still snores on her camper bed on the other side of the room. I was lucky to make it back here last night since it was so dark. Any darker and I would have had to sleep out in the open again. Not that I’m averse to doing that, but if I have a choice, I’m going to take the uncomfortable wooden bed in my small, crappy, wooden hut in the trees any day.