Loving the Marquess

by Suzanna Medeiros

  “I need to speak with you,” he said, cutting Kerrick off before he could say anything else.

  He turned and stalked from the room, but not before he caught the glance that passed between his wife and his friend. Catherine also caught it, and the expression on her face mirrored Nicholas’s own annoyance.

  He didn’t stop until he’d reached his study. Kerrick followed without a word.

  “Close the door,” Nicholas said.

  His friend complied with a sigh. “You should know that I have grown very fond of your wife. Perhaps one day, after your death—”

  Nicholas moved swiftly until he was toe-to-toe with his friend, his anger barely restrained. “If you value your life, you will not finish that sentence.”

  Kerrick took a step back and tsked.

  “We’ll be discreet, old boy. Enough time will pass that no one will suspect your heir is really my son.”

  “Kerrick,” he said through clenched teeth, “you need to stop talking.”

  He was a hairsbreadth away from punching his friend. He turned away and drew in a lungful of air while he tried to control his anger. Even though he knew the previous night was a mistake, he couldn’t wish it undone. And he most definitely did not want Kerrick going anywhere near Louisa. He knew that once he was gone Louisa would be a very desirable catch and she would easily find another husband. The possessive side of him, the one that wanted to hoard her away only for himself, didn’t want to even consider that future.

  Wisely, his friend remained silent. Without his further taunts, Nicholas was able to bring his burgeoning anger under control. When he turned to face him again, Kerrick raised a brow in question.

  Nicholas struggled with what he needed to say, aware that he would look like a fool. Not for telling Kerrick to stay away from his wife, but for ever having made his proposition in the first place.

  “There was something you wanted to discuss with me?” Kerrick asked when he didn’t speak.

  “Yes, damn it. You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

  “You’d better believe it.”

  “Fine,” Nicholas said. “I was an idiot to have suggested you father my heir.”

  Instead of gloating as he’d expected, Kerrick frowned and crossed his arms. “Not good enough.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I want to know why you changed your mind.”

  Nicholas weighed what to tell him. “I decided it was too risky. I didn’t want the possibility of a scandal to attach itself to the future marquess.”

  Kerrick made a sound of disgust. “You can’t admit it, can you?”

  Nicholas fell back on the icy demeanor he had mastered so well since his brother’s death and the announcement that he was now the Marquess of Overlea.

  “I have already admitted I made an error in judgment. Let us leave it at that. And don’t think to provoke me by continuing your absurd courtship of my wife.”

  Kerrick laughed. “You’re a fool, Nicholas. You know, at first I thought it was just that you found your wife attractive and wanted to bed her yourself. And who would blame you? I am sure most men would feel the same way.”

  Nicholas scowled.

  “Not me,” Kerrick said, taking a step back and holding up his hands in innocence. “But seeing you now? Hearing you try so very hard to deny what has become increasingly clear to me?”

  “I don’t have the patience to play these games with you today,” Nicholas said, brushing past his friend and heading for the door.

  “Have you even had the courage to admit it to yourself?”

  Nicholas wouldn’t stand and be called a coward. He stopped and turned to face Kerrick, his face a mask of imperious disdain.

  “You’re in love with your wife, Nicholas.” Kerrick laughed. “I never thought I would live to see the day.”

  He would be damned before he’d stand there and allow Kerrick to laugh at his feelings. “Are you through amusing yourself at my expense?”

  Kerrick sobered instantly. “Between you or your wife, I don’t know who to pity more. Are you going to bother telling her?”

  Nicholas shrugged casually. “There’s nothing to say.”

  “I see,” Kerrick said. “Can I stay the remainder of the week?”

  “Do what you like.”

  He caught the passing expression of resignation on his friend’s face before he turned and strode from the room.

  Yes, he was indeed in a sad, sorry state. Hopelessly in love with his wife but unable to tell her. First because of how dishonorably he’d treated her since meeting her, and second because he knew his admission would cause her more pain when he died.

  Chapter Fifteen

  For the first time since coming to live at Overlea Manor, Louisa was happy. She couldn’t believe Nicholas had made that remark about riding in front of Catherine, but it boded well for their marriage that he was no longer avoiding her.

  After he left with Kerrick, she didn’t see him again until dinner. She was busy with household matters for most of the morning, and Nicholas had met with his steward that afternoon for some time. The way he kept looking at her throughout dinner, his eyes promising a world of sensual delight later that evening, made it difficult for her to follow what everyone was saying. More than once she had to ask someone to repeat themselves when they directed a comment at her. Nicholas grinned in amusement at her state of distraction, which in turn only made it worse. She still couldn’t believe how different he was and half feared he would revert to his former distant self.

  Later that night after dismissing her maid, Louisa waited for Nicholas. She wore the same nightgown she’d donned the night before, remembering how it had inflamed him, and her hair tumbled loosely down her back.

  She’d retired first and it was a little while before she heard the sound of her husband and his valet’s voices through the door that joined their rooms. She frowned when she thought about what Catherine had revealed that morning. Harrison was a serious-minded, meticulous man, and while she wouldn’t call him old, he was no longer young. She had a hard time believing he would take up with Mary’s maid, who was quite a bit younger than him. She acknowledged, though, that her perception might be colored by the fact that he was always very distant with her and she’d never seen a glimpse of his real personality. His formality wasn’t the same deference she received from the rest of the household staff. He always seemed very careful to avoid looking at her, which made her uncomfortable in his presence.

  She shook her head and laughed at herself for being oversensitive. Harrison was merely loyal to her husband and worried about their marriage. Before last night it had been painfully obvious to all that Nicholas avoided her whenever possible. As his valet, Harrison would have noticed their strained relationship, and it would have colored his dealings with her.

  She heard the door close and waited for what seemed an eternity, trying to summon the courage to go to Nicholas’s room. It was one thing to rush in there when she was afraid he’d fallen ill again and quite another to enter brazenly.

  She stood and took a deep breath. If nothing else, they at least needed to talk. She needed to know once and for all what he expected with respect to their relationship. She took a step toward the door but stopped when a soft knock sounded. She wondered if she had imagined it. She took the last few steps with her heart hammering in her chest and opened the door.

  Her husband never failed to steal her breath. He stood on the threshold, wearing his dressing robe over trousers and looking deliciously sinful. His dark eyes roved over her body, barely concealed beneath the sheer fabric of her nightgown.

  “I can’t seem to stay away from you.”

  She closed the space between them, throwing herself into his arms, and he gathered her against him and held her close. Relief and joy washed over her. They stood like that for a long time, simply taking in the feel of being in each other’s arms.

  “I’m a selfish bastard,” he said, his breath ruffling her hair. “I should
be thinking about the future. God knows, I tried to do the noble thing.”

  She drew back and looked up at him. “I think I prefer you when you are not noble.”

  Heat entered his eyes. “Then you’re going to like me a whole lot for whatever time we have left together.”

  She took a moment to examine him closely before replying. Needing to make sure this was what he really wanted, she asked, “Have you been drinking?”

  A rueful smile crossed his face. “No excuses, Louisa. This is me. And despite what you might have feared, last night was as well.”

  She could feel a corresponding smile forming on her own face. Whatever happened in the future, they had each other. Nicholas might not love her, but he did want her. That was enough for now.

  He dipped his head and took her mouth. The kiss was gentle, but full of promise. She brought her hands up around his neck and held him to her, afraid to let go while they explored each other. When Nicholas lifted his head, his dark eyes smoldered with intensity. He took her by the hand and led her to his bed. As she lay down with him following her, she caught sight of what was on the nightstand. Anger sweeping through her, she placed her hands on his chest to push him back and scrambled to sit up.

  A hint of wariness crept into Nicholas’s expression. “Is something wrong?”

  She couldn’t believe he was going to act innocent. “Is something wrong?” She buried her hands in her hair and shook her head. “What is wrong with you, Nicholas? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

  She didn’t have to tell him what had brought on her dismay. His eyes traveled to the decanter of brandy and the glass that rested on his nightstand. “I didn’t ask for that. Harrison brought it up on his own, thinking I’d want it.”

  She scoffed. “Is that your favorite brandy? The one I asked the staff to dispose of? And you went out last night to drink. Why? Why would you do that?”

  To her horror, she started to cry. Nicholas gathered her to him while she sobbed out all her fears. Almost seeing him die had brought home to her just how little time she could very well have with him and she was furious that he was taking such chances with his life. Furious and terrified.

  When her sobs subsided, Nicholas drew back and looked down at her. “I was drinking last night because of you.”

  She laughed at that, but it ended on a choked sob. He shook her slightly. “I wanted you so damn much… I was trying so hard to do the right thing, but the thought of you and Kerrick together…” He looked away. “It was killing me.”

  Seeing the stark pain on his face, her anger began to ebb away, to be replaced with a need to reassure him. She raised a hand to his cheek. He nuzzled against it but kept his eyes lowered.

  “Nicholas, look at me.”

  He lifted his gaze and the anguish in his eyes almost made her gasp.

  “I like Kerrick,” she said. He started to turn his head away, but she raised her other hand to his face to hold him still. “I like him very much, but only as a friend. I could never be with him. My feelings for you would never allow it.”

  There were no words after that. He took her in his arms and together they fell back into the pillows. Unlike the night before, their lovemaking was more urgent this time. She had lost her inhibitions and ran eager hands over every part of him she could reach. It was clear from his reaction when she did something he liked, and it gave her the confidence she needed to explore him as he did the same to her. They had not even shed all their clothing when she found herself beneath him, her nightgown drawn up to her waist. He opened his trousers and she shivered with anticipation at the touch of his hard member against her hip. She opened her legs to welcome him inside her, but he surprised her by rolling over and draping her over him.

  “Like this,” he said, arranging her so that she was straddling him, positioned right over his hard shaft.

  She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. “I can’t—” she started, but he interrupted her.

  “Shh,” he said, dragging her down for a kiss.

  He lined up their bodies again and then showed her how to take him inside her. She eased down over him, loving the way he filled her. She stopped when she hit bottom. He placed his hands on her hips and drew her up along his length, then back down with more force than the first time. She found her rhythm then, and he allowed her to set the pace while his hands moved to her breasts, his strong fingers hefting their weight and stroking the hardened tips through her nightgown. She luxuriated in the feel of him hard inside her as she reached for her own climax. She should have been embarrassed at the sounds she was making, almost panting as she moved over him, but his corresponding groans told her that he was enjoying their lovemaking as much as she.

  Impatient, he quickened their movements, thrusting up into her as she slid down. His hands coursed over her body, trailing fire wherever he touched her. Dazed, she stared down at him, at his beautiful face, as she continued to move. The way he was looking at her, his eyes burning through hers, she could almost make herself believe that he loved her.

  “Nicholas,” she said on a moan, the steady rhythm threatening to tear her apart. His hands settled on her hips and he held her while he pushed into her again and again. She exploded, and he followed moments later.

  She collapsed on top of him. He held her to him, one hand buried in her hair and the other laying possessively on her backside, just above where they were still joined. Slowly, their heartbeats steadied and their breathing slowed.

  “Can I stay here tonight?” she asked.

  For a moment she thought he was going to say no. He rolled them over until they were on their side, facing each other, and she let out a breath when he slipped out of her. He brought her mouth to his and kissed her thoroughly. “I expect you’ll be staying here most nights,” he said, his expression as satisfied as what she imagined hers to be.

  Content, she snuggled against him and fell asleep.

  * * * * *

  The discovery that his valet might be in some sort of relationship with his cousin’s maid unsettled Nicholas. He hadn’t paid the man much attention before now because his valet had never been very friendly, but now that he was watching him closely it seemed as though Harrison had the demeanor of someone trying to hide his guilt. Surely Harrison wasn’t afraid of suffering repercussions because of his relationship. Nicholas wasn’t so unfeeling that he expected his staff to eschew personal relationships.

  Nicholas turned the situation over and over in his mind, but still couldn’t believe even the most foolish of women would send a love note to his valet. In the end, he decided to speak to Catherine again before approaching Harrison. Perhaps she’d misinterpreted the scene since his valet didn’t have the appearance of a man in love. Lord knew Nicholas was intimately acquainted with those very symptoms. Of course, it was also possible Harrison was simply engaging in a romantic tryst and that his emotions weren’t involved at all.

  “My Lord,” Catherine exclaimed when he entered the conservatory. “This is a surprise.”

  “Catherine,” he said with a fond smile, “how many times do I have to ask you to call me Nicholas?”

  “Quite a few, it would seem.”

  Nicholas chuckled in reply. He enjoyed Catherine’s youthful enthusiasm. It reminded him of his own carefree youth. Those days seemed so long ago now.

  “I have to show you these two plants I’ve just identified.”

  She disappeared down the row of greenery that lined the wall of glass along one side of the conservatory. Nicholas sighed and followed while she rattled off the Latin names for two of the tropical plants. He idly fingered a large white bloom while she exclaimed over the flower, feigning an interest he was far from feeling.

  “I wanted to thank you for giving me a Season next spring,” she said, reclaiming his attention. “I am looking forward to it very much.” She paused for a moment before continuing, heat creeping into her face. “Lord Kerrick has promised to waltz with me at Almack’s.”

  That innocent
statement set off alarm bells in his mind and he made a mental note to speak to Kerrick about his sister-in-law. His friend wasn’t the type of person to trifle with a young girl’s affections, but it was clear Catherine had developed a tendre for him.

  Nicholas gave a shudder of mock horror. “As always, I will leave the planning of such amusements to Grandmother and your sister.”

  Catherine exhaled dramatically. “I cannot wait for spring to arrive. I am trying to be patient, but it is so hard.”

  Nicholas turned the subject to the true reason for his visit. The stuffy atmosphere of the conservatory was starting to affect him.

  “I wanted to speak to you about what you told us yesterday. About the meeting between my valet and Mary’s maid.”

  Her enthusiasm dimmed. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Will they be in trouble now?”

  Nicholas rushed to reassure her. “Not at all. As long as the staff continues to do their jobs, I care not a whit whom they see privately. However, that is the point of my visit. I simply cannot imagine Harrison engaging in such behavior. Are you sure what you witnessed was a romantic rendezvous?”

  Catherine frowned in concentration. “Why else they would meet? And he did accept a letter from her.”

  A dull ache began behind his temple, which he massaged absently. He couldn’t explain his sense of urgency, but he needed more information without further arousing Catherine’s curiosity.

  “Perhaps he was accepting the letter for someone else. I want to reassure Harrison that his position here is secure, but I don’t want to say anything if he was merely acting as an intermediary.”

  She gave him a wide smile that reminded him of her sister. “You are very kind. John didn’t think so, but I knew Louisa made the right decision when she accepted your proposal.”

  He felt a stab of guilt for lying to the girl and more than a little unworthy of her compliment. Her brow furled in thought and he waited, ignoring the increasing warmth of the conservatory.

  “It is true that they did not appear overly affectionate with one another. I was so surprised at what I had seen that I didn’t consider their demeanor. Now that I think about it, however, they were quite serious.”