Mine to Fear

by Janeal Falor

  Maybe she knows what a pest Jack is already. I lie through my teeth. “They certainly are all wonderful.”

  “There’s one other thing I wanted to mention. I've already spoken with Tawny, but since it's your first time with us, I thought it would be best if I told you directly. There's to be a council meeting here tomorrow.” My ears perk up, and I work to not seem too elated over the possibility. “It would be best if you let the other servants handle everything since they are familiar with it. In truth, it would be best if you either stuck to your own room or came with Tawny and kept me company in my room. Things with Envado are so tense, I'd hate to see the council take it out on you two.”

  “I'll probably stick to my own room. Get a chance to rest up.” Like resting is what I'm going to be doing. Guilt pricks at me for not telling her more, but I'm not about to involve her in the scheme that's forming.

  “Perfectly understandable. I'm sure it'd do you some good and help give you more time to adjust. But if you change your mind, please feel free to join us.”

  “Might I tonight, perhaps? I would really enjoy talking with you.”

  “That would be lovely.”

  “I'll bring a glass of warm milk, then.”

  She laughs. “Tawny tried that last night. I fear a glass of water suits me just fine.”

  “What is it with Chardonians not enjoying warm milk?”

  “We're smart like that.”

  She laughs as I make my way out of the hallway. There's much to think on now.

  A council meeting. This is perfect. Even if I'm supposed to stay to my room, there's no way I'll stay locked up when the best opportunity just came my way. Perhaps I won't have to leave after all. Except I can't cause any problems for her or the Councilman. It's not only my own life at risk. Yet there must be something I can do.

  Chapter Ten

  Once I've parted ways with Annabelle, I don't waste any time. I make my way, not for the room I'm supposed to clean next, but to find where they're holding the council meeting. I'll clean the other rooms during the night if I have to make up for it. Though maybe this is why they need to be cleaned? Are some of them staying overnight? Maybe I can do something with that as well, but I can't chance that on a hunch. I need something firm to grab on to. Something that will work. No questions asked.

  It doesn't take long to find it. Remembering the biggest yet most secluded rooms from our tour leaves few options. Plus servants are swarming it. Which is good as a confirmation, but bad for carrying through with my plan.

  Most of them are bringing in chairs, but three of them stay to clean. It's probably just as well. I'm sure the council check for spells before they start the meeting. It's a common enough practice in Envado in any case from what Tawny has told me previously.

  If Zade would stop being so stubborn and tell me what's going on with the political side of things so I could better help, I wouldn't be so desperate to figure it out on my own. Though it's hard to be too upset with him since I know he's just trying to protect me. Things have gotten worse for him with more pressure from the Grand Chancellor and other warlocks since I was gone. Whatever he's doing, he's working desperately to keep the council happy while desperately trying to help the Chardonian women.

  No wonder he didn't want me around to give him one more thing to worry over. Too bad. There’s good I can do. I know it. Enough of just teaching girls how to spell their nails. Well, I'm not entirely done with it. Wouldn't want to go without style, but I'll work on it in addition to better spells.

  With that thought to embolden me, I enter the room pretending like this is exactly where I was sent. An idea has to come to me. If not, well, it can't be any worse than scrubbing toilets and hot laundry rooms. “I'm here to help. What would you like me to do?”

  One of the servants, the only male of the group says to me, “Clean the windows. And do a good job. The Grand Chancellor likes the light shining behind him as much as possible.”

  “Of course.” Perfect. Not only does it get me in here, but it is a lot better than what I was doing before.

  I help myself to the pile of cleaning supplies and get busy on the windows. Only, not too busy. I take my time scrubbing every speck I see, and not just the ones I see, but ones that aren't really there. Even though I'm going to such lengths, the others are taking just as long while keeping the talking to a minimum. He wasn't kidding about how clean the Grand Chancellor likes it.

  Shining the tabletop and scrubbing the floors with such vigor, it's easy to believe they take the threat of the Grand Chancellor coming seriously.

  But it hampers my time alone. So when I'm certain they're all focused on their own tasks, I swipe my hand on the edge of the glass, leaving a smudge. I purposefully avoid it while I tackle the rest of the windows.

  I'm on the bottom of the last window, the last one I have to do, other than the spot I'm pretending I don't see. Thankfully, the others are finally packing up their things. I thought they'd never get there. I can still make something happen, and I think I know what.

  One of the servants leaves the room, but the male servant who told me what to do asks, “Are you almost finished? The rest of us have other duties we need to attend to.”

  Technically, so do I. “Yes, I think I'm done.” I step back and pretend to scan the window. “Oh, drat! I missed a big ol' spot.”

  My voice is too fake, but all the same, he shakes his head at me, like the only thing he realizes is I'm an incompetent Envadi servant. I move to the spot and take my time not just cleaning the spot, but everything around it.

  “Finish up then. We can't stay to help,” he says.

  “That's fine. I'll manage it.” I turn to see his reaction, but he and the remaining servant are already gone. Guess my job really doesn't matter to them at all.

  I continue puttering around for a minute, in case they decide to return. When no one appears, I quickly swipe down the spot and dive under the table closest to the window.

  After studying the room, I think this is the best place to hide a voice-activated spell so no one can see the flash when it activates. Of course, I'll have to focus on calming myself down, leaving as little emotions as possible to show when it does activate. It will be perfect. Or at least, there's nowhere else to hide it so it will have to be perfect.

  I search the bottom of the table for the best nook to hide it in. The legs meet the table every foot or so, but the corners have two legs that meet together, creating more of a nook. It needs to be as small as possible, tucked back beneath other parts of the table preferably. Even then, there's a chance it may get caught and that would be bad. Very, very bad.

  Poor Annabelle and Councilman Daniel would probably get in trouble for it, even if the warlocks know it's not from them. I'm certain they need to protect the meetings at their house. One more reason not to get caught. I can't bring that down on them. But if I let the opportunity go without doing something. I'd regret it too much, even if it means taking a risk. It's a risk I'll keep taking as long as I'm here. Maybe I won't need to find a new place to work after all.

  Finally, I spot a small nook hidden behind one of the legs where it joins the table. Perfect. Now, to make a spell that's activated by Zade's voice. I think that will work. Maybe. It may mean missing some details if he doesn't speak right away, but hopefully it also means it goes undetected. Unless they search for spells in the middle of their meeting. There should be no need for that. I hope.

  I take several, deep calming breaths, trying to clear as much emotion as I can. Only, as soon as I start to think of the spell I need to do, emotions flood through me. Memories mixed with giggling and scoldings. Zade and I used to use a spell similar to the one I'm about to cast to listen to Mom and Dad talk. We always wanted to find out what sort of presents and surprises they had for us.

  Of course, we were always caught. I've learned a lot since I was a girl, though, so no point getting stressed about that. Especially after working with Cynthia. She's one clever spell caster.

&
nbsp; As much as I'd love to continue reliving these memories, I force them away. This is no time for nostalgia. Clear and peaceful. Nothing but the task at hand.

  I gather my magic and oh so slowly, it winds from my hand toward the spot underneath the table where the legs meet. A tiny, tucked away corner. As it reaches the spot, I think of Zade, of the sound of his voice. The warm, comforting sound of a friend. The harsh temper of a protective big brother. The ache of him telling me his fears.

  All of it comes out, tinting the clear spell with yellows, reds, and blues. Thankfully, they're faint colors. Once I set the spell to remain off until his voice activates, the colors will disappear until then.

  Once everything is securely in place, I release the spell. Its colors die off, hopefully ready to activate when needed. That's should do—

  “What are you doing under there?” An all too familiar voice booms, making me jerk upright and hit my head on the underside of the table.

  “Ow.” Pain throbs through my forehead.

  “Oh, it's you,” Jack says.

  With each word, my head pounds more. Not only do I wish he'd never entered the room and almost caught me doing something that would get me, at best, killed, but now I wish he'd just go away so the stabbing sensation wouldn't be as bad.

  “Yes, it's me,” I say as I scoot out from under the table. “At least, what's left of me after you startled me into smacking my forehead. What made you think it'd be a good idea to scare me while I'm trying to get the cleaning done?”

  “You're cleaning?” One of his eyebrows raises like he doesn't believe me. Given the nature of what I was doing, I can't blame him. I do anyway. Brute.

  “Yes, I'm cleaning. Don't you know there's a council meeting tomorrow?”

  “Everyone is aware.”

  “Well then, why were you yelling at me while I was trying to clean?”

  “Because climbing under the table isn't necessary to clean well. Is this some strange ritual that takes place in Envadi culture?”

  Strange Envadi ritual indeed. He probably hates warm milk, too. “Don't you ever clean the floors under there? And the…” I struggle to think of a legitimate reason why I'd be down here on the floor. “…chairs? Look at the seats and legs of these things. There's an alarming amount of grime.”

  His eyes narrow. Definitely not buying my story. But my spell isn't active yet and won't be until Zade's voice sets it off, so barring that, it's not like he can find anything wrong.

  To prove my story, I lean back down and rub my cloth from cleaning the windows down the legs of the closest chair. It actually is kind of gross this close up. Not awful, but like no one's really thought of this task before. Still, as I move to the next leg, it feels rather inane, but I don't stop. The carving parts where there's more of a crevice in the chair have the most amount of dust, which takes the most work to clean out. I push harder at slipping my rag into each one like these chairs really need to be shiny for tomorrow. The whole time I'm focusing in on him while he looks at the chair, trying to gauge his reaction. Wondering if he believes my story.

  It doesn't take long to forget about him as I come to a crevice that's particularity deep. When I finally get it clean, I realize I forgot to keep track of him and glance up. He rolls his eyes.

  There. He's bought my story, even if it meant making a fool of myself; it's nothing new where he's concerned. Without another word, he strides from the room. I won't miss him when it comes time to leave and find a place I can help more. Too bad it's not today. Even more unfortunate now, I have to scrub all these chairs. All fifteen of them. That's a lot of chair legs. What a foolish way to spend my afternoon. Tomorrow had better be worth it.

  I'm just finishing the first chair when Jack comes striding back in the room. What trouble is he going to cause now? Except he doesn't say a word, or even look at me. He sits on the floor next to me, pulls out a cloth, and starts wiping down the chair.

  Is this guy for real? Does he want to help get these clean or is this a way of keeping an eye on me? It has to be the latter. There's no other reason someone like him could possibly have for doing otherwise.

  I move on to the next chair on the other side, working on cleaning out each crack. It's mind- numbing work that leaves room for thought, but instead my mind clears, making way for just the movement to lull me in a sort of peace I haven't felt for a long while.

  Time quickly passes as we work, and we continue to move away from each other until we're half way through and we start moving toward one another. By the time I get to the last chair, my arms ache. While I'm working on the front legs, Jack takes the back until we're both through.

  I drag myself to a standing position and stretch my arms far above my head and then behind my back. It feels good to move about after being cramped on the floor so long. And it would have been longer if it wasn't for Jack. Grudgingly I say, “Thank you—”

  “Don't bother,” he interrupts. “If I hadn't helped, you would have still been here when the warlocks arrived to secure it for the meeting, which would cause problems and delays.”

  Meaning, I cause problems and delays, but it answers why he helped. At least he doesn't suspect me of something.

  “And if they find anything,” he eyes the table where I left the spell, “you can be assured they will know who did it.”

  Or not. “I'm sure they'll do an excellent job.”

  He glares me down as if that will somehow make me stop talking. “You need to lower your face to me.”

  These warlocks really have no clue how to treat a female. I laugh even though I feel more like slapping him. “Why would I do such a thing?”

  “Because you are a woman.”

  “I most definitely am.” I make certain to look him right in the eyes, letting all the fierceness boiling within me shine through them. “And you sir, are a man with very poor manners.”

  I turn away, but before I'm able to escape past him entirely, he has the gall to say, “We run a better house than this. You will follow Chardonian rules while you're here. Learn them and don't dawdle again. If you're faced with a task that time-consuming, request help.”

  It wouldn't have been any time at all if he hadn't interrupted. “Whatever. I'm just doing my job.”

  I brush past him, my arm tingling as it grazes his. Chardonian warlocks! Really, what gives them any idea they can treat people like this? I dealt with it when I was here before, but most of the time, it was secondhand stories from the girls. Rarely was I in a place where it happened directly to me.

  Despite his warning to me, it doesn't make me want to change my own behavior. It only makes me want to work harder at changing his.

  Chapter Eleven

  “I hope you two ladies don't mind, but Daniel wanted to spend the evening with me,” Annabelle says.

  I halt my forward movement into her room and instead take a step back. “We can visit some other night, then.”

  “Don't leave on my account,” Councilman Daniel says. “Please stay a while. I wouldn't mind getting to know you both better. Annabelle has only good things to say of each of you.”

  Another excuse is about to spill from my mouth so we don't intrude on their time together when Tawny says, “If you insist, I suppose we will have to. I must admit, I've been curious to learn more about you as well, since Annabelle speaks of you so often and highly, Councilman.”

  Often? We've only been here four days. But there's no getting out of it now. I take a chair across from the Councilman and his wife. Tawny pours tea for them, asking the Councilman how he would like his but adjusting Annabelle's without question. She then pours a cup of warm milk for us and sits beside me.

  “Tawny talks with me often,” Annabelle says. “But what about you, Waverly? How are you adjusting to life here?”

  I take a sip and try not to scrunch my nose. It tastes burned but is lukewarm. I'll have to see if I can spend some time in the kitchens if I remain here and teach them the proper way to prepare a cup of milk. Whatever this stuff is
, it's not at all soothing.

  “It's like coming home for me. A different house than I was in before, but still home.”

  “You don't find our ways backwards, then?” the Councilman asks.

  Time to tread carefully. He may be on our side, but he's still on the council. “They are definitely different than where I'm from. I find many of your people endearing and some others who…” I'd like to punch in the nose. “…aren't as much.”

  He laughs. “A good political answer. Don't worry, I don't like a lot of the people here either, but it's home for us too. We're doing what we can to help with that. When we can get around the Grand Chancellor, that is.”

  I don't think any of us realized just how good of allies Annabelle and Daniel are. We should have. I'm excited just thinking of adding their help. “How has that been going for you?”

  “Lately, people have been more open to speaking with me about changing things. It's been wonderful to see. Unfortunately, the Grand Chancellor knows it and continues clamping down on as many laws as he can.”

  “Isn't there more you can do?” Tawny asks. I'm sure this is harder for her to hear than it is to me. I'm used to this, as much as I don't want to be. She's used to how Envado rules.

  “I wish there was, but I'm just a voice in a large crowd. One the Grand Chancellor doesn't have to listen to.”

  “You do a good job, my dear,” Annabelle says.

  He takes a hold of her hand as he continues. “It wasn't always this way, you know. There was a time when the council was actually a council that worked together with the Grand Chancellor. Too many years with too many men grabbing for as much power as they can, has left the position of Grand Chancellor with too much weight.”

  “Do you think anything can be done about it?” I ask. Because there has to be. If not, all of this will be for not.

  “As things are, I don't know. The Grand Chancellor keeps making things stricter and stricter. At this rate, the entire country will be on lock down unless you're Chancellor Ryan or Councilman Stephen.”