The Child's Secret

by Amanda Brooke

  Sam’s eyes snapped open. A wave of self-loathing smashed into him and obliterated the sense of calm. He needed to leave and thankfully Jasper was rested enough to be able to keep up when he broke into a run the moment they cleared the cemetery. They wouldn’t stop until they reached home, where an unexpected welcoming committee awaited them.

  42

  Jasmine’s home: Wednesday 7 October 2015

  While Sam was debating what to do about the message he had received from Selina, Laura had no such misgivings about what her next move would be.

  ‘You might want to stay outside for this,’ she said to Michael when they pulled up to the kerb. An area outside the house had been cordoned off and continued all the way up to Natalie’s where the press were congregating.

  ‘Is there something I should know about?’ the family liaison officer asked. He was eager to prepare Laura and Finn for their press conference within the hour.

  ‘Watch this space,’ was all Laura would say.

  When she entered the house, Laura felt a crushing sense of loneliness. She willed her heart to believe that Jasmine was still upstairs in her room, but the moment her mind conjured the image, she saw only a vulnerable little girl, head and heart full of fear, cowering in the shadows while listening to the painful disintegration of her parents’ marriage, a fear that had become so intense that it had made her physically sick that very morning. How could Laura have not seen what they were doing to her? How could she have not considered the effect their behaviour was having on their daughter in the last few months, if not years?

  If she had looked, Laura would have seen her own fear and trepidation reflected in Jasmine’s face the night before. After ending the call from Sam, Laura had been pacing the floor, waiting in vain for Finn’s return, when Jasmine had brought her a glass of blackcurrant juice which she had promptly spilled on the rug. Laura had been wound up so tightly that she had snapped at her daughter rather than being grateful for the comfort being offered. She had been too wrapped up in her own world to realize the little girl had been reaching out for comfort in return.

  Holding her breath, Laura tried to sense a connection with her daughter now, hoping it wasn’t too late, but all she felt was cold fear. She couldn’t be sure if it was her own or Jasmine’s.

  ‘You’re back.’

  Finn was standing at the living room door. He had showered and changed since she had left, presumably because he wanted to look his best for the cameras, although there was a scratch mark on his face that didn’t look like a shaving cut. ‘Is Anna still here?’

  ‘No, she’s gone,’ Finn said with undisguised contempt. ‘More trouble than she’s worth, that one.’

  ‘Had a lovers’ tiff, have we?’

  Finn shook his head. ‘Now is not the time for your paranoia, Laura. A child is still missing, in case you’ve forgotten. Have you recovered from your histrionics, then?’ he asked. His look was scathing, but there was doubt in his eyes, perhaps a little fear too. ‘Are you going to tell me why you stormed off?’

  ‘I told DCI Harper how you’ve been abusing me for years.’

  Finn laughed. ‘And he believed you? Where’s the evidence? Where are the police reports with photos of a bruised and battered wife? Ah, yes, there aren’t any, because I never touched you. You’re losing it, Laura. I know these are testing times but you’re an embarrassment, you really are.’

  Laura pulled up her sleeve to reveal yellow bruising. ‘Remember these?’

  Twitching, Finn shook his head. ‘You can’t prove that had anything to do with me.’

  ‘I don’t have to,’ Laura said, surprisingly calmly. ‘This isn’t a police matter, it’s a personal one. I want you out, Finn, and I want you out now.’ She was already moving before she had finished speaking, heading upstairs to the spare room where she’d been sleeping and grabbing an empty suitcase. When she came out, she had to shove past Finn to get to their bedroom.

  Finn followed her and then stood at the door to block her exit. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said with his arms folded and his legs spread wide.

  Flinging the contents of drawers into the suitcase, Laura wasn’t particularly concerned with what she was packing. It was the act alone that mattered. It was only half-full when she zipped it back up and she held it in front of her as she rammed into Finn, knocking him back before he realized what she was doing.

  Her eyes were wide as she yelled, ‘Get out, Finn! Get out!’

  Finn stumbled but then managed to hold his ground and he glared at his wife while keeping his voice low and menacing. ‘I told you, Laura, I won’t let you keep Jazz.’

  ‘In case you haven’t noticed, Finn, she’s not here! Our daughter has run away because she’s frightened of you. She’s terrified of you, just like I am! No, just like I was!’ Laura said with a gasp when she caught a flicker of recognition in her husband’s expression. Her injured ribs were aching but it was a new, painful realization that had taken her breath away. ‘You know, don’t you? You know how much you scared her. Did you hurt her, Finn? When I wasn’t around, did you ever hit her?’

  ‘I’m her father, Laura, I have a right. And in case you’ve forgotten, this mess has nothing to do with what I’ve done. If you don’t start behaving then I’m going to have to tell the police how you helped Sam groom her.’

  Laura let out a yell as she pushed Finn back again, and this time he couldn’t stop her. ‘If you don’t leave now then I’m going to stand up at the press conference and tell everyone what’s been going on!’ she screamed at him. ‘I want the world to know what you’re like, Finn, but more importantly I want Jasmine to know she doesn’t have to put up with you any more.’

  They were stumbling downstairs in the next moment, Finn grabbing hold of the banister to keep himself from falling. ‘Please, Laura, think about what a fool you’re making of yourself!’

  She had him pinned to the front door now, the suitcase wedged between them and their eyes locked. ‘I’m no fool, Finn, I know what I’m doing. The only way I can get Jasmine back is if you’re not here, so go. Get out!’

  ‘You’re a stupid bitch and I don’t know what I ever saw in you.’

  ‘Get. Out. Now!’

  There was a look of utter confusion on Finn’s face, then flashes of anger, then fear. His mouth moved, but the words wouldn’t come. Laura stepped back calmly to give him enough room to turn and open the door. It was only when it slammed shut again that she realized she was still holding the suitcase.

  When the taxi pulled up outside, the house was dark and deserted. Sam hadn’t been expecting to see Selina’s car parked on the driveway but his heart sank anyway. After listening to the message, he still didn’t know where she was or exactly what she had done, but he had wanted to give her one last chance to explain herself and put things right. Now, he had no choice: he would have to phone the police.

  After paying the cab driver, he glanced only briefly at the holly bush where the police had found Jasmine’s footprints. Had she been hiding there that morning when he had taken Jasper out for their run or had Selina already taken her by then?

  He wasn’t sure why he crept into the house, but supposed it was an instinctive reaction to having his home raided earlier in the day. The police had left their mark, most notably on Selina’s door which had been opened forcibly and left ajar. He peeked his head around to check what kind of state it had been left in. The cluttered apartment was still cluttered, her ornaments remained lined up in a haphazard order, although not necessarily the same order that Selina had left them in. He didn’t step further inside, he didn’t need to. The police would have taken anything they considered incriminating and Sam didn’t need to find proof of her guilt: he had all the evidence he needed but he wanted to hear the message one more time before handing it over to Harper. He sat down on the stairs to listen.

  ‘What have I done, Sam? Oh, dear Lord, what have I done?’ Selina said. ‘And what do I do now? I can’t go to the police, I just can’t. They
won’t believe me this time. Oh, Sam, you have to help me get away before they realize what I’ve done …’ There were mutterings then as Selina cursed under her breath. ‘My money’s running out. These stupid machines. I’ll explain everything—’

  The call had ended abruptly and Sam could only presume that she had been using a payphone and it had got the better of her. It was about the only thing he could be certain of because Selina had told him precisely nothing except in a roundabout way to confirm that she had taken Jasmine. She hadn’t even said that the little girl was still with her or what they were going to do. It didn’t seem likely that she was coming home. He could phone the police and let Laura know, but would it end her misery or only compound it? Selina had the child and while Sam couldn’t consider any circumstance where Selina would let harm come to Jasmine, he couldn’t be sure. He recalled the file Harper had on Selina Raymond and wondered what Selina had done that would make her think the police wouldn’t believe her this time?

  Heaving himself up, Sam groaned in sympathy with the steps as he made his way upstairs. Even before he turned the lock, Jasper was scratching at the door.

  ‘Come on, let’s get you out,’ Sam said without looking inside his own apartment. He didn’t care how the police had left the place. This was no longer his home, it was simply somewhere he would lay his head until Jasmine had been found and he could resurrect his original plan.

  After taking Jasper downstairs to stretch his legs in the back garden, Sam returned to his apartment. There had been little for the police to disturb and even the green square of paper had been left on the dining table. The shoebox had remained with Harper for the time being and Sam hated to think of it languishing on a police shelf in an evidence bag, but it was a thing, not a person. It didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It wouldn’t bring Ruby back and neither would it bring Jasmine home.

  He stared at his phone and, with enough effort, he found another reason to put off making the call. Once he told the police, Sam would have to return to the station and who knew when they would release him again. He had to at least get cleaned up first. He knew he smelled of stale sweat which was also making his skin itch. He grabbed a change of clothes from his bedroom, where the police had already emptied his holdall, and headed for the shower.

  Although it was growing dark outside, Sam didn’t switch on the lights. He was imagining how Jasmine must be feeling. She might not be alone, but she would be as scared as her mother. Harper had been wrong to suggest that Sam would understand what Laura was going through. If anything, Sam felt envious. He was aware how perverse that was, to be jealous of Laura because she stood a good chance of being reunited with her daughter, and it was cruel of him not to share Selina’s message, but they had both been plunged into nightmares and for a few more minutes at least, he didn’t want to feel so alone.

  As the water trickled down his back, Sam closed his eyes and pushed Jasmine and Laura from his mind, which was all the encouragement Ruby needed. Not only could he see her smiling face but he could hear her too. Above the hiss of the shower, he caught the sound of laughter and a little girl’s squeals of delight. It sounded so real that when he switched off the water, he strained his ears but his daughter had had her fun.

  Sam towelled himself off and dressed quickly before returning to the living room, barefooted. He had left his mobile on the table and, before picking it up, he looked out of the window to check one last time. The space where Selina’s car ought to be was still empty. He returned his gaze to his mobile phone and stared at it while the distant sound of laughter made his skin prick with goose bumps. He stopped and held his breath but again the ghost of his daughter eluded him.

  Stepping away from the table, he moved towards the two armchairs. A cushion had been left on the floor and Sam picked it up and stared at the bright multi-coloured covers that Pat had lovingly crocheted for him. His grip on the cushion tightened as he asked himself what on earth he was doing. Why was he allowing himself to be distracted by searching for a child whose earthly presence had been stolen years earlier when another needed his help?

  Every nerve in his body tensed and he felt ready to explode. A familiar sense of impotence wrapped around him, pressing against his chest. He trembled until he could hold it back no more and with a yell, sent the cushion flying across the room. He saw, too late, that Selina had appeared at the door and the cushion hit her square in the face and she stumbled back.

  ‘Ow!’ she cried. As she tried to recover from the direct hit, her lip quivered. ‘I suppose I deserved that.’

  ‘Selina!’ Sam reached her in a handful of strides and took hold of her shoulders. ‘What did you do to her? Where’s Jasmine?’ he demanded. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘She’s downstairs.’

  Sam was torn between rushing out to see Jasmine for himself and grabbing up his phone so he could let Laura know. He did neither because the sound of laughter rooted him to the spot.

  ‘She’s reacquainting herself with Jasper, the little minx,’ Selina said with a reluctant note of affection. ‘So what are you doing here anyway? I thought you would have left by now.’

  ‘What am I doing here?’ he cried. ‘Let’s just say my plans have been messed up by someone who should be old enough to know better than to abduct a child.’

  ‘She’s really dropped me in it, hasn’t she Sam?’

  ‘You’re blaming Jasmine for this?’

  ‘No, of course not, but it’s not as if I planned any of this. It was just that, well, when I was leaving this morning I practically ran her over. I was about to give her an earful, but she burst into tears. She was terrified, Sam, terrified. She had it in her head that Finn was going to throw her mum out and that she would have to live with her dad. Whether it was true or not, I couldn’t send her back to them, and you were set to leave so it was down to me to save her.’

  ‘Which you thought you’d do by going on the run with her?’

  Selina looked offended by the suggestion. ‘Of course not! I was worried that Finn might come looking for her so I bundled her into the car. Jasmine wanted to go to Wales, so that’s where we’ve been. At Pat’s caravan.’

  Sam stared at her in disbelief and simply waited for an explanation of how she could knowingly put Laura through such anguish.

  ‘On the way, I left Laura an answering machine message thing.’

  ‘You mean a voicemail?’

  Selina sniffed. ‘Call it what you like, but it turned out to be no message at all. I wasn’t to know Jasmine’s phone didn’t work, was I?’

  ‘But you’ve been missing for the entire day, Selina. Weren’t you worried when Laura didn’t ring back?’

  ‘Well, I knew there was no mobile reception so I wasn’t surprised that we didn’t hear anything, not at first. But by this afternoon I was starting to worry that something bad might have happened and so we took a quick trip into Mold. I put the radio on in the car and that was the first I heard about the missing child who just so happened to be sitting right next to me with a guilty expression on her face.’

  Sam glanced towards the rear of the apartment and the small window which looked out onto the garden. He was desperate for his first glimpse of the little girl who had caused a wide-scale search but there was something he knew he shouldn’t put off any longer. He went to pick up his phone.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Selina asked. ‘You can’t tell anyone, not yet.’

  The phone was already in Sam’s hand when he asked the question. ‘Why on earth not, Selina?’

  His landlady’s expression hardened. ‘It’s best not to ask. All I need, Sam, is for you to put off the call until I’ve had a chance to get away.’

  ‘And go where? You can’t go back to Pantymwyn,’ he said before realizing he was asking the wrong question. ‘What is it you’re running from, Selina? Why can’t you simply tell the police what you’ve told me?’

  ‘I can’t take the chance,’ she said with a shake of the head that let loose a tear. �
��They’ll want to rake up the past, and I can’t face that, Sam. I only came back here to pack a few things. I parked the car around the corner in case someone saw me and my next step was to drop Jasmine off at Pat’s before I hit the road, but I can leave her with you instead.’

  Given Sam’s experience with Harper, it was entirely possible that Selina’s fears would be realized, but he couldn’t let her go on the run. ‘I’m sorry, Selina, but if Jasmine is going to have to face the music, then so should you.’

  ‘I dread to think what Finn will do when he lays his hands on her,’ she said. ‘Or me, for that matter. Maybe we should all do a runner. We could go anywhere. I’ve got savings and I could sell some jewellery.’

  ‘Stop, Selina,’ Sam said firmly. ‘It’ll be all right, I promise, and you don’t have to worry about Jasmine. Laura was going to throw Finn out last I heard and the police will be keeping a careful eye on them. They’ll be safe enough and so will you.’

  Selina gritted her teeth as she tried to come to a decision. ‘I’ll stay on the condition that you do too.’

  Rather than answer, Sam moved towards the rear window and Selina followed him. ‘What does Jasmine think of all the fuss she’s caused? Is she scared?’ He pulled back the net curtain only to find the garden deserted.

  ‘I think she was more interested in being reunited with Jasper than she was her parents. She was worried about Laura, but by thinking of her mum she also had to think of her dad and she’s so scared of him, Sam.’