Under a Greek Moon

by Carol Kirkwood

  The waves were choppy as they set out into the bay, and the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon. When they got there, the beach was deserted, but there was a dull light filtering out from the boathouse.

  Shauna risked a look at Demetrios: his lips were set in a hard line. Please let Ariana be safe, she thought, but her mind was still in turmoil after discovering that the postcard had been in Grace’s possession. It had been too noisy on the boat to question Roxy about it, and now that they were here their first priority was to find Ariana.

  The boat bumped to a halt against the jetty and Demetrios leapt out, followed by the two women. As they entered the boathouse, Demetrios cried out, all of his pent-up fears and anxiety spilling out as he saw his daughter, sitting hunched with her knees underneath her chin, looking tired but safe. He scooped her up in his arms and she buried her head in his neck.

  ‘Papa, I’m so sorry,’ she sobbed.

  His own voice was strangled with emotion. ‘My darling girl … I thought the worst … Thank God.’

  At that moment, Shauna realized that they were not alone in the boathouse. Quietly standing to one side was Grace, looking as if she wanted to disappear.

  ‘Demetrios …’ Shauna said quietly, and his eyes followed her gaze to settle on the quiet English girl who seemed to be trying to shrink into the background.

  ‘Grace?’ he said. ‘You are here?’

  ‘Grace was the one who found me,’ Ariana said.

  Demetrios searched his daughter’s face. ‘Why don’t you tell us what happened, Ari.’

  Shauna took in the striking resemblance to Sofía. Right now, though, Ariana looked much younger than her eighteen years, vulnerable and scared.

  ‘Last night, after I went to see Grace, I’d been planning on going straight home in a taxi, but I knew that you’d be angry if I came home drunk.’ She looked sheepish.

  ‘Ari … I’d rather you came home drunk than not at all,’ he said.

  ‘You say that now, but you would have been furious!’ Her eyes flashed and her father said, ‘OK, OK, let’s not argue already.’

  ‘I saw the boat in the harbour, and that was when I came up with the idea of going to the boathouse. You remember how I used to curl up and sleep in the boats when I was little, when you used to bring me out here while you were building your boat? I wanted to feel the way I did then … safe, loved.’

  As she spoke, she pointed to the boat Demetrios had built, and Shauna saw the name on the bow: Beauty. She remembered his promise to build a boat and name it for her. Her heart soared.

  Demetrios held his daughter tightly as she continued: ‘When I woke up, it was ages later, the speedboat was gone. I can’t have tied it up properly. I took a path up the hill, trying to find somewhere I could get a view of the coast and see if it had washed up somewhere, but it was nowhere in sight. Then it took me forever to find my way back down again. Grace heard me calling for help and came to find me.’

  ‘But, Grace, how did you get here?’

  ‘I saw Christian at the harbour just after I said goodbye to Roxy. He was going out to join the search for Ariana and I asked if I could help.’ She fiddled nervously with her hands. ‘I felt guilty about not doing more to help her last night, and I realized I couldn’t leave Ithos without making sure she was OK. When we got to Fengari, there didn’t seem to be anyone searching the beach, so I suggested that I take a look around while he went back out and made the most of what light was left to search the bay.’

  ‘Where is he now?’

  ‘Still out there searching. He was going to come in when it was too dark to see any more. We were planning to stay the night—’ She stopped, suddenly embarrassed.

  ‘It’s OK,’ said Ariana. ‘I know he doesn’t want me, not in that way. He likes you.’ She shrugged. ‘I’m over it.’

  ‘No, it wasn’t like that at all. If we hadn’t found you, we were planning to start searching again at first light. I was going to sleep in the hammock and he was planning to sleep on the floor,’ she added primly.

  ‘Grace,’ said Demetrios, letting go of his daughter and taking a step towards her, ‘I owe you an apology. I lashed out in anger, which was inexcusable. I am sorry. Will you forgive me?’

  Grace nodded, and Roxy moved across the boathouse, pulling the passport out of her handbag. ‘Grace, honey, you left this behind at the taverna.’

  ‘Oh, my passport,’ she laughed. ‘I wouldn’t have got very far without that.’

  Roxy opened the passport and removed the postcard. ‘I know this is going to sound odd, but where did you get the postcard?’

  Grace frowned. ‘My postcard? Why would you be interested in that?’

  Shauna took a step forward, her hands visibly shaking, her voice unsteady. ‘Please, Grace, tell us how you came to have it.’

  Grace blinked. ‘I’m not sure why you want to know, but when I was eighteen I wrote to the agency that arranged my adoption, asking for information about my birth parents. They sent me a letter from my mother. And with it was this postcard.’

  Demetrios let out a gasp.

  Trembling, Shauna asked, ‘What did the letter from your mother say?’

  Looking more perplexed than ever, she told them. ‘She wished me a happy birthday, and said she wanted me to know that I was born in love and that she hadn’t wanted me to feel like I was a guilty secret.’ The words were so familiar she could recite them by heart: ‘“I hope that your life is full of kindness, laughter and opportunity, and that the years to come bring you joy and love. Live a happy and fulfilling life, Grace – you deserve it …”’

  Shauna took a step forward, and finished for her: ‘“… I will never, ever forget you, and if one day you want to find me, I’ll be waiting.”’ Her voice was filled with emotion. ‘It’s true, Grace, I never did forget you. Every day I have kept you in my heart, but I never dreamed that I would see you again.’

  Grace backed away, shaking her head. ‘You’re my mother? It can’t be.’

  Demetrios moved to stand alongside Shauna. ‘Grace, I know this is hard for you to understand – and for you, too, Ariana,’ he added, looking at his daughter. ‘But twenty years ago, Shauna and I … we fell in love.’ He looked into Shauna’s eyes as he continued: ‘I was a young man who was weak. I should have tried harder – if I had, things would have been different.’

  Ariana stepped across to look at the postcard in Grace’s hand. ‘When you showed it to me last night, I knew there was something about it that bothered me, but I couldn’t work it out. Now I know.’ She pointed to the swirl of the d in darling. ‘That’s how my papa writes his ds.’ The two girls stood together, and looked to Demetrios. Shauna was struck by the similarities between them, their soft hazel eyes with just a hint of gold, like their father’s; their long dark hair, almost the same height.

  Grace shook her head again, clearly distressed. ‘No, you can’t be my father … this is too much, I don’t believe you.’ Then her voice broke and a sob escaped her.

  Roxy stepped in and put her arm around Grace. ‘Give her some space, it’s a lot for her to take in.’

  Shauna’s heart contracted, knowing that Roxy was right, but all she wanted to do was take Grace in her arms, the way she had dreamed of doing so many times. Now she felt as though she had come so close to realizing her dream only to feel it all slipping away from her.

  They heard the noise of a speedboat outside and a moment later Christian came into the boathouse. ‘Ari! We’ve been looking for you everywhere.’

  ‘She’s been found,’ said Demetrios. ‘As you can see.’

  Christian took in the scene with an elated grin, then he saw Grace sobbing in Roxy’s arms and his face fell. ‘What happened?’

  Grace tore free of Roxy’s embrace and ran to him. ‘Christian, take me back to Ithos, please.’

  ‘What’s going on?’

  She shook her head. ‘Please, just take me, I want to go now.’

  Shauna couldn’t stop her own tears from f
alling. ‘Grace, darling, I’m sorry …’

  Demetrios stepped in. ‘Christian, please ask your mother and father to take care of Grace tonight,’ he said.

  They watched as Christian collected up Grace’s things and gently led her to the boat. Roxy laid a gentle hand on Shauna’s arm. ‘Let her go,’ she whispered, ‘just for now. It will be OK.’

  As Christian started the engine, Ariana ran to the boat. ‘Wait, you forgot this.’ She handed Grace the postcard, then reached her arms around her and the two girls embraced.

  As the boat pulled away, Grace turned her back on the four people who watched her go. In that moment, Shauna thought her heart was breaking all over again.

  ‘Demetrios, that’s our daughter. How can we let her go?’

  ‘She knows we are here. All we can do now is pray that she will come back to us …’

  Chapter 35

  Demetrios fidgeted impatiently next to Shauna as they sat on the terrace of Níko’s taverna. ‘What if she has changed her mind?’

  Shauna was feeling a huge sense of trepidation herself, but working herself up into a lather wouldn’t help anyone. As it often did when she was worried, her father’s voice found its way into her head: There is no better cure for old wounds than a bit of patience.

  Initially, Grace had been hell-bent on taking the first ferry out of Ithos. It had taken days of patient mediation by Roxy, Christian and Ariana, before Grace had agreed to talk to Shauna and Demetrios, and even now they were on tenterhooks, wondering whether she would show, wondering if she would want to listen to what they had to say.

  Shauna found it hard to believe she and Demetrios were sitting side by side, waiting for the daughter they’d lost. She could never have imagined the events of the past few days would lead them to this moment, but at the same time she felt as if it was meant to be.

  ‘Just try to stay calm, we don’t want to scare her off,’ she urged, with a composure that surprised her. Inside, she was anything but calm herself.

  ‘I know, I know, but what if she is angry with us?’

  ‘She has every right to be angry, and confused, and upset. We’ll just have to soak it up, however much it hurts. If we get defensive or argue, we’ll only drive her away.’

  ‘You are right.’ He looked at his watch and bit his lip, and Shauna couldn’t help laughing.

  ‘You haven’t changed at all; still as impatient and irascible as ever. Still wanting life to fit around you.’

  He frowned. ‘That is unfair. Who wouldn’t be impatient in this situation? Besides, you too are the same … still getting under my skin, even now.’ His face softened. ‘I can’t pretend I mind, though.’ He touched her hand.

  ‘Demetrios …’ But before she could finish, she saw Roxy approaching from the beach path. ‘Delphine and Alex are having a playdate in the sea. Is Grace here yet?’

  It was then they saw her, walking along the harbourfront with Christian, the two of them holding hands and talking quietly. She saw them, said something to Christian, and the two of them shared a brief kiss before she came running over. Shauna felt her pulse quickening as the girl approached. Grace was a total stranger to her, yet she seemed so familiar. It was almost like looking at another version of herself in a mirror. She had dreamed about this face thousands of times and now here she was, reunited with her daughter. Smiling, laughing.

  ‘Hello,’ Grace said, a mixture of shy politeness and inner confidence. ‘I’m sorry I’m a bit late.’

  Shauna and Demetrios told her not to apologize, awkwardly stumbling over their words and speaking at the same time.

  Demetrios spoke first, Shauna noticing that he had taken it upon himself to speak for both of them and decided to let him. ‘Thank you for seeing us, Grace, and for giving us the chance to explain.’

  ‘Yes,’ Shauna added, ‘I imagine you’ve got lot of questions.’

  ‘I do have some. But I wanted to ask first if you had any questions for me.’

  Shauna was speechless for a moment, her mind a blank under the pressure of wanting to say the right thing, as if this was a test. Then, unbidden, the question that had haunted her over the years, that had tormented her and kept her awake on countless nights came into her head. She felt Demetrios squeeze her hand under the table and she was glad of it.

  ‘Grace, you have to tell me, are you … did you …’ Her voice faltered. ‘Were you happy? Have you had a good life?’

  For the first time, Shauna and her daughter locked eyes, and Shauna could see a touch of O’Brien looking back out at her. She knew then that she had asked the right question.

  ‘I’ve had the best life. My mum and dad are amazing. I always knew I was adopted, but they love me to bits and have given me the best start in life.’

  Shauna felt a wave of relief wash over her. As Grace told them about her parents and her childhood, she lapped up the details. Her mother was teacher and her father ran an electronics firm. She had gone to a grammar school and had excelled at sport, especially swimming and racket sports.

  Then came the moment Shauna had been dreading:

  ‘So … why did you have me adopted?’

  For years she had done everything in her power to suppress the memory. Even now, she was breaking out in a cold sweat at the thought. But her daughter was entitled to an answer.

  ‘When I found out I pregnant, I was scared, but I knew I wanted to keep you.’ She turned to Demetrios. ‘This is the one thing I couldn’t tell you. It still hurts too much. You see, I went home to Ireland …’

  Shauna knew she was starting to show, but she’d hid her bump under an oversized knitted cardigan and baggy T-shirt. Her mother looked at her over her glasses, her shrewd eyes never leaving her daughter.

  ‘Come on then, spit it out.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You’ve come back here for a reason. We weren’t expecting you home until the summer.’

  ‘Would you rather I wasn’t here?’ Why did her mother always make her feel like this, like an unwanted intruder in her parents’ lives?

  ‘Don’t be so dramatic.’ Her mother’s face hardened. ‘Anyway, I’m not stupid. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that belly on you?’

  ‘Mammy, I—’

  ‘Be quiet, Shauna O’Brien. You are a filthy slut and I’m shocked at the gall of you, bringing yourself back here in that state.’

  ‘How can you say that, Mammy? I’m your daughter.’

  Her mother got up from the table came to stand over Shauna.

  ‘No daughter of mine would get herself into that state and expect sympathy.’

  ‘I should have known I wouldn’t get much of that from you.’

  ‘What do you want then? Money? You’ve got a cheek!’

  ‘I don’t want any money from you.’ Shauna tried hard to keep her tears of shame and anger bottled up, it would only goad her mother to more spiteful remarks. ‘Let me talk to Daddy.’

  Her mother grabbed her by the arm, gripping her tightly. ‘Don’t you even think of mentioning this to your father. It would break his heart to see you like this. Sure, the shame of it would kill him. How could you have been so thoughtless and selfish?’

  ‘Me, selfish? Anyway, you’re wrong about Daddy – he’d help if you would let him. It’s your own embarrassment you’re concerned with.’

  Her mother’s face set in a hard line. ‘If you cared about anyone but yourself, you’d do the decent thing and have the child, then put them up for adoption. No one need ever know.’

  Shauna knew her stupid dream had died that moment, her foolish idea that her mother would be angry but not for long, that she would tell her they would find a way, that they’d love their grandchild no matter what anyone else thought. Her mother continued her diatribe, the words cold and hard.

  ‘If you insist on keeping it, it’s life will be blighted. People will point their fingers at Shauna O’Brien’s bastard. Is that what you want? Well, I’ll have no part in it, so you can get out of this house right
now and take the fruit of your sin with you.’

  ‘How could you be so cruel, Mammy?’

  ‘There’s nothing cruel about it, I’m just being realistic. If you ever want to step foot in this house again, or to see you father again, you’ll do what needs to be done …’

  ‘I left the house that same day, and if it hadn’t been for my father I would never have returned. When I did, later that year, after the baby—’ She corrected herself: ‘After you had been adopted, my mother never asked me what had happened to you, and I never told her. It was like it had never happened.’ She looked down at her hands sadly. ‘Now I know she denied herself and my father the chance to be grandparents. It wasn’t only my loss, it was theirs too.’

  Demetrios took her hand. ‘Oh, Shauna, you were let down by the people who should have cared the most.’

  ‘Everyone except Roxy.’

  She smiled at her dearest friend, who turned to Grace and said, ‘I offered to raise you myself.’

  ‘That could have been fun.’ Grace smiled. ‘You can be an almost-auntie to me now.’

  ‘I’d be honoured.’

  ‘But I still don’t understand how the postcard fits in.’

  ‘I wrote the postcard,’ Demetrios said. ‘But not for the reasons you think,’ he added, turning to Shauna.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I had written it to cheer you up. I knew you were sad that the summer would soon be coming to an end; about what would happen to us. I intended it to encourage you: Always have hope. We have our dreams. I meant every word.’ Shauna felt a little bit of her melt inside; how did he still do that to her?

  ‘Then why didn’t you finish it?’

  ‘Jeremy interrupted me. He told me my father was trying to hunt me down. I figured I’d finish it later. I wrote “Don’t wait for me” because I expected to be late returning; I knew my parents would give me hell.’

  ‘I see.’ Shauna’s brow was creased in thought. ‘So all of that was a misunderstanding?’

  ‘When my mother ordered Jeremy to pack up my things, he must have found the note and left it for you to find, knowing how it would look.’