Beautifully Baked: A Sweet Romantic Comedy

by Holly Kerr

  “But you are letting your mother win with this,” she continues. “She wants you to get married to a nice son of a winery owner and have babies that can take on the family business, just like your sisters. And you dig in your heels and say no way. I’ve always admired that about you, your stubbornness.”

  “Thank you?” I’m not sure where Ruthie is going with this, but I don’t like the sound of it.

  “She’s absolutely right,” Flora cries.

  “I’m always right.”

  “You’ve got tunnel vision.” The words tumble out of Flora’s mouth in her haste. “Your mother wants This, and you say no. Because of what she tries to make you do, you can’t let yourself see that anything close to it might not be a bad idea.”

  “I don’t understand. Are you saying I don’t want Theo in my life because my mother does?”

  Flora and Ruthie glance at each other. “Pretty much,” Flora says.

  “That’s about right,” Ruthie adds.

  Could it be that easy?

  Could I be self-sabotaging this because of my mother? In a strange way, it makes sense and some of the heaviness on my shoulders lightens a little. Theo is an innocent, tiny child, and part of Clay. Could I let myself love him?

  Because that would solve everything.

  “She wants you to get married and settle down, with someone she picks,” Flora continues. “Someone she thinks is right for you. But she doesn’t know you, so how can she possible decide that?”

  “She can’t,” Ruthie insists. “I’d never be able to pick for you, and I know you like the back of my hand. I’d never have picked Clay for you.”

  “Forget about what your mother wants—what do you want?” Flora demands.

  The answer is easy. “I want Clay.” My voice is firm and strong.

  Ruthie throws up her hands. “Then go get him. Or that little shopgirl out there is going to.”

  Flora reaches for my arm. “It’s not just Clay now,” she warns. “You love him, and that’s great, but you have to love the baby, too. Can you do that?”

  The pause runs long and drawn out before I can answer.

  Clay

  I drag myself into the condo that night, feeling every pound of Theo’s car seat weighing on my shoulders. The babysitter told me he had been fussy all day, and I can’t help but wonder if he somehow picked up on my feelings. Can he pick up my disappointment? Did he understand when M.K. said she didn’t want a family?

  She doesn’t want Theo. Or me with Theo.

  I never imagined rejection would hurt so much. When Launa Robins broke my heart in sixth grade, I was inconsolable for lunch recess and then I moved on. I can’t imagine moving on with anyone who isn’t M.K.

  How can I trust another woman?

  Theo’s eyes flicker open as I lift him from his seat, and I brace for the bout of crying. Instead, he slaps his fat little hand against my cheek, rubbing it against the end-of-day stubble.

  “Do you miss her, too?”

  How can she not love him? I thought she could love me enough. I love her enough to give her time, not to put expectations on her. We never discussed it, but to be with me was signing up to co-parent. I never asked her what she thought, what she wanted.

  I just loved her and hoped that was enough.

  Theo and I have a quiet evening. I find myself thinking of things that I want to tell M.K.: about how Pearl stalked around the office with the baby in her arms like he was the crown prince, how Rashida moped when I came back without him. About how I finished the graphics for the new line.

  I don’t remember the last time I spent time alone, without any plans to see a woman.

  After I finish my dinner of pasta, and give Theo another try at his cereal, getting more on his face than in his mouth, we settle in the living room with another recap of the Jays post-season on Sportsnet.

  “Your Uncle Deano is going to play for these guys again,” I say to Theo who ignores the screen, instead fixated on the danglies on the arch over his play mat. “You better pay attention and learn all you can. He’ll teach you to play ball because he’s a lot better than me.”

  Theo coos in response.

  “And Aunt Flora will teach you the right flowers to give to a girl,” I continue. I stop myself. Can Flora still be Aunt Flora if M.K. is no longer in my life? How will this work? Will it be like a divorce—our friends have to pick sides?

  I can’t expect Flora to give up M.K., and I couldn’t dream of asking her. Does this mean I’ll lose Dean, too?

  The lump in my chest grows as I glance down at the papers spread around me. I pick at the sheet I’d been doodling on during a conference call yesterday. It’s a logo I’d been playing around with for M.K.—Pain Au Chocolat in a flowing script, with a perfect bun on a white plate at the end.

  Simple, classic. Elegant, like M.K.

  Hard, unyielding, uncompromising.

  I crumple up the sheet and throw it across the room.

  It only makes it to the end of Theo’s play mat and I watch as he wiggles, and shakes, and finally rolls over onto his belly, reaching out a hand for the paper.

  “Hey,” I say as what he did sinks in. “You haven’t done that before. You rolled.”

  Theo gurgles and stretches out his hand. “You can’t have that,” I tell him. I stand and give him a rubber block instead. “You can have this.”

  He crams the block in his mouth and I smile. I may not have M.K. as the love of my life, but I have this. This could be enough for now.

  My cell interrupts my musings, and I grab it like a lifeline. But my heart sinks when I don’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

  “Clay, it’s Abby.”

  My heart reaches the bottom of my stomach with a thud. “What’s up?”

  “How’s everything with the baby?”

  “Did you call just to ask?”

  “Of course, but…” There’s a long pause. “I talked to my mother. She said she can take him.”

  “Take him where.”

  “Take him to live with her.”

  “No.” The response is instinctive, definite. Absolutely not.

  “This is a lot to take on,” Abby argues. “I gave you a couple of weeks because that’s how long it took me to figure out it’s impossible to raise a child alone.”

  “It’s not impossible. You need to plan things.”

  “I never thought you were much of a planner. So I talked to my mother, and she can take him.”

  “I said no. I’m keeping him. If you can’t, then I will.”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  “As sure as I’ve ever been about anything. I’m not letting Theo out of my life.” Like you did. The unspoken implication hangs in the air. “And I want some sort of agreement between us about this. Something saying that he’s mine, and I have guardianship of him. That he’s mine.”

  “You think I’m going to take him back from you?”

  “You didn’t tell me about him for four months. I’m not taking any chances that you’ll change your mind again.”

  Abby sighs. “You don’t think much of me, do you?”

  “Not at all. I think you made the right decision for Theo. Not every woman is made to be a mother. You realized that and did what’s best for our son.”

  “You think it’s best he’s with you? Not my mother, who’s raised two kids?”

  And one of them turned out like you, is what I don’t say. “I don’t know your mother, but I’m sure she’s a lovely woman. But I am the best thing for Theo. For him to be raised by his father.”

  “And whatever girlfriend is around for the weekend?” she says snidely.

  “There’s no girlfriend around for the weekend or the week. I’ll be doing this on my own.” My voice is firm even though my heart aches for M.K.

  “I thought you were dating someone.”

  “She’s no longer in the picture. I’m going to focus on Theo for the time being.”

  “Wow. That’s new.”

&n
bsp; “Being a father will change anyone.”

  “She broke up with you, didn’t she? You didn’t give her time to adjust,” Abby says slowly. “This is a big thing for a new relationship.”

  “And some people can’t handle big changes.”

  I shouldn’t be angry with M.K. but I can’t help it. I thought she cared more to try.

  “Tell her I’m sorry,” Abby says sadly. “And I’ll sign anything you want me to.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  M.K

  The next day, I have a rare afternoon off for a doctor’s appointment. Because it’s at the hospital where Imogene gave birth, I decide to stop at Gap Kids before I go to get a present for the new baby.

  I drift through Gap Kids on my way to the baby section. Brightly coloured shirts lead into a more pastel environment, with more greens and yellows than purples and oranges.

  I quickly find a pretty, pink dress for Imogene’s latest. Even though I know it’s impractical, I’ve never seen anything so sweet.

  “Do you need help with a size?” A saleswoman appears at my side.

  “She’s a newborn, so small, I guess?” I’ve never bought baby clothes before. I’ve only ever given my sisters gift cards for my nieces and nephews, always resentful of my mother’s demands to get gifts to take the time to select something meaningful.

  It’s not that bad in here. I should have taken the time.

  The saleswoman laughs. She looks a few years older than me, with a wide, sincere smile. “Depends on how big she is. Do you know the birth weight?”

  “I have no idea.” I shrug helplessly, not liking the sensation. “I have no idea about any of this.”

  “Then I’m here to help you. Is it a first baby?”

  “No, her third. All girls.”

  “Then there will be lots of clothes to pass down, so she’ll have the essentials. That dress would be perfect because it’ll be something for her own. I’d get a size six months because it’s a winter dress.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “Let me show you these tights that would be perfect with it. It’d be a nice outfit for Christmas.”

  Christmas is a month away. How will Clay handle his first Christmas with Theo? A pang of regret pierces me, so sharp that I wince.

  “Are you okay?” the saleswoman asks with concern.

  “Fine. Yes, the tights.” I blindly accept everything she hands me. Every time I look at the boys section, I see Theo. Theo wearing the red sweater, crawling across the floor in the corduroy overalls. Lifting his arms up for a hug in the striped pajamas. Suddenly all these feelings swell in my chest, making my eyes water, and my throat tighten.

  I blink wildly as relief spreads over me. I love him. I love the little guy.

  I can love him.

  I turn back to the saleswoman, swiping a quick finger under my eye. “Can we look at some clothes for boys as well?”

  Clay

  I let myself into the condo, my feet heavy as I carry Theo inside. I’m so tired, more than I should be even with taking care of a baby.

  I know it’s because of M.K.

  As disappointed as I am, I miss her even more.

  I don’t take in the smell at first, thinking it a remnant of the cupcakes I made last night to take to Pearl. Or the scented candle I’ve started burning when Theo has a really explosive diaper. The sweetness of chocolate drifts down the hall, as well as the sound of the oven door opening.

  The sound of music. Music that I don’t listen to.

  Still carrying Theo in his seat, I slip off my shoes and pad down the hall.

  M.K. is in my kitchen. Before I let my heart overflow with happiness at finding her here, I stop myself. “What are you doing here?”

  She jumps with alarm. “I didn’t hear you come in. I called Dean and he let me in because I don’t have a key. I’m sorry if this is presumptuous,” she adds quickly, her gaze imploring. “I didn’t know—I thought maybe…” Her gaze falls on Theo, and her face breaks into a soft smile. “Hi, Theo. You’ve grown.”

  “It’s only been a few days.”

  “He can grow in a few days. And he might need a haircut soon. You’ve got lots of hair,” she coos, reaching out for his foot now kicking with delight. “I saw Imogene’s baby today and she’s totally bald.”

  “Is that why you’re here? Did Imogene make you come?”

  “No one made me come. I wanted to because I missed you. I missed him,” she adds. “I was very surprised about that.”

  “So am I,” I say in a quiet voice.

  M.K. takes a deep breath. “I’m not going to apologize because it was you who walked into the conversation.”

  I frown. “I don’t think that’s the best way to begin.”

  “There’s no good way to begin, but I hope the ending will make up for it. I’ve learned a few things in the last couple of days, and it started because of what I said to my mother.”

  “That you didn’t want a family,” I prompt. “That you weren’t raising Theo. That you didn’t want a baby and definitely didn’t want to raise someone else’s.”

  “I did say all of that. Would you like to know why? Or what I figured out?”

  “What did you need to figure out?” My arm is beginning to ache, and I set the car seat on the table. Theo wriggles with anticipation of getting free from his restraints, but I don’t let him out yet.

  “That I’ve been going against everything my mother wants for me. I haven’t even let myself think of the options because I’m so busy arguing against it. I’ve been rebelling, as Ruthie puts it. Can you imagine me rebelling?”

  “No,” I say sharply, relenting as her face falls. “Yes. You stood up to your mother when you moved here and started the patisserie. I’m not surprised if you did it again.”

  “I have been. It just took a while for me to realize it. All my decisions not to have children are because that’s exactly what she wants me to do.”

  “I don’t understand—you want kids now?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never contemplated it. Until now. Until I can’t stop thinking of him—and you. I really can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “Me neither,” I say in a gruff voice.

  She sweeps a hand towards the counter. “I don’t know how to make this up to you so I bake. It’s what I do.”

  “I know.”

  “I also have trouble with change.”

  “I know that, too. Sounds like you’ve done some soul searching.”

  “I have good friends.” She drifts closer. “And an even better boyfriend.”

  I hold my ground, my heart beginning to race. “Is that what I am?”

  “I’d like you to be again,” she whispers. “I’d like you to be more someday. I’d like to consider all of my options with you. If I have any left.”

  It’s the hopeful tone in her voice that breaks me. “M.K.” I reach for her, my fingers skimming her waist as she pulls away.

  “Wait.” She darts to the stove and pulls out a tray of cupcakes. “Honey vanilla,” she says. “I used some of your honey. I have the same kind.”

  “From the market.”

  She nods. “I think I saw you there once.”

  I laugh, my voice tinged with relief. “I think I saw you walking home.”

  I itch to hold her, to find out if this is real or some fantasy I’ve concocted. But while I hold out my arms, M.K. goes first to Theo in his car seat still on the table.

  “I think we need to get to know each other a little better,” she says, sure fingers unbuckling him. I hold my breath as she lifts him out, little legs kicking with joy. “I’m M.K.,” she says, tucking him under her arm, Theo reaching for her hair. “I’m not your mommy.” She glances at me and I see the tears in her eyes. “You have a mother and I won’t take that away from you. But I’ll be…” She takes a deep breath. “I’ll be whatever you need. Whatever you both need.” Her dark gaze turns to me. “If you want me.”

  I wrap my arms around both
of them, feeling M.K.’s chin against my shoulder.

  “I bought him some clothes,” she says in a muffled voice. “His pants are getting a little short already.”

  I laugh and tighten my arms around them.

  The End

  Thanks for reading Beautifully Baked!

  I’d love it if you would leave a review so other readers (and me) can see what you think.

  Here’s the link to Amazon

  Review here please!

  Thank you!

  Holly xo

  And keep reading for a sneak peek of the first book in the Oceanic Dreams series,

  I Saw Him Standing There

  Acknowledgments

  Beautifully Baked is for all the readers of Perfectly Played who asked for more.

  I had never planned on continuing the story. Perfectly Played was the first straight love story that I’ve written—one with no squabbling sisters, saving the world, or dark twist at the end (Absinthe Doesn’t Make the Heart Grow Fonder) I had the story of Flora and Dean in my head for a long time, and once it was written, I thought that was it. I loved my secondary characters (especially Ruthie and Adam), but that was it.

  But you wanted M.K. and you wanted Clay, and I want to make you happy.

  Thanks to all the ARC readers, and bloggers who love my books. Thanks to the readers who keep reading, as well as telling me what they want me to write.

  Thanks for all the lovely ladies of the Oceanic Dreams group, both authors and readers. Being a part of that series was so much fun!

  Thanks to my kids who support me and for your little comments that let me know that you think your mom being an author is still cool.

  Because it is.

  I Saw Him Standing There

  DAY ONE—MIAMI

  1

  I had one leg out the window by the time the banging started at the door.

  I knew Eduardo was coming today but I thought I’d have more time. When I first met him, Eduardo used to be known as Fast Eddie. This con, the one he was coming to collect for, was supposed to be the one to bring us to the big leagues.