Forget About It

by Jessie Harper

  Liar. “Is that so?”

  “Yep. Forced out every single time. And after I’m extremely nice to you.”

  “And were you extremely nice to me last night?”

  “What? No.” Any playfulness is gone from Graham’s voice. “You were drunk. All I did was put you in bed.”

  Whoa. “Calm down. I wasn’t accusing you of anything.” Holy overreaction. “I was talking about how it looked like you slept in my bed last night. With me.”

  “Oh.” He’s relieved. “I swear I stayed fully clothed.”

  “I’m sure you did.” I’d planned to make a big deal of it. Graham did break one of my cardinal rules, after all. But he seems so upset at even the thought that I might think he manhandled me without my consent that I don’t have the heart to tease him.

  “I didn’t want to leave you alone. I just stayed until I was sure you were okay.” There’s that concern again. Why’s he being so nice? So gentle? I rack my brain for clues from last night but come up empty. What happened that has him acting like I’m breakable or something?

  “Thanks, I guess?” I’m not sure what else to say. “Did I make an ass of myself last night?” I must have for Graham to be avoiding all these opportunities to make fun of my behavior. He had to put me in bed for God’s sake. A fact that makes me only slightly self-conscious until I realize I’m wearing what appears to be one of Graham’s T-shirts and only my panties.

  “No, you were fine. Drunk but fine. Don’t worry. Our secret’s still in the vault. You weren’t particularly chatty at the party.”

  I ignore the implication that I was chatty after we left. Hopefully I was too out of it to try to have a conversation with Graham, especially since I’m sniffing his pillow this morning. “And how did I end up in one of your shirts?”

  “Well, like I said, I don’t know what sleepy time’s like over there so I had to use my best judgment. And that shirt is super comfortable so I put that on you. For the record you took off your own bra. I was a model citizen.”

  A little flit of disappointment pricks my belly. “Noted. You were basically my night nurse.”

  “Exactly. But now I’m calling to see if you might want me to bring you lunch. I can also do dinner if you don’t have to work. We could go out.”

  I have to commend Graham on his stubbornness. He really doesn’t give up. “We’ve talked about that,” I tell him, the slightest hint of warning in my voice. “I don’t date.”

  “Right, I’ve been thinking about that and I think I have a solution. Why don’t we just not call it a date and see how it feels to be out in public together?”

  “We do that all the time, Graham,” I remind him. “But what you want isn’t that. You want to act like we’re together. And we’re not doing more than friends. If you act in public like we act in private there’s no way people won’t know what’s really going on.”

  “Would that be so bad? So what if people know about us?”

  My head continues to throb. Why can’t Graham see that this will end badly? What we’re doing already is bound to blow up in our faces. And when it comes to an end, which it always does, he and I probably won’t be able to stand each other. That’s all without the interference of our friends and family. Shit show doesn’t even begin to describe how things are going to look. And if we let people know we’re seeing each other? I’d have to not only explain all our sneaking around to Julia, I’d have to admit to having started this in the first place. Julia wants Graham to find his soul mate, not to spend his time screwing around with someone like me who has no intention of letting things get serious.

  “Can we not do this now?” I whine. “My head is killing me and I need to get up.”

  “Fine. We won’t hash this out now, but we are going to keep talking about this. Lunch? Can we talk about that? Do you want me to bring something over?” He sounds irritated.

  “No, you don’t have to do that. And I’ve got work tonight so no dinner.” My gut is telling me to avoid Graham today.

  “I know I don’t have to. I want to. I want to see you, Cassie.”

  “But today’s not great,” I lie. Today’s as good as any other day. But today I’m wearing his T-shirt and feeling way too good about it.

  “Alright.” He lets out a sigh of frustration and I can picture him running his hand through his hair. “I have to go out of town for a few days. Work stuff. I’ll call you when I get back, okay?”

  Another twinge of disappointment. “Sure. Call when you get back.” I bite back a request to have him call me from wherever he’s going. That’s too much like a girlfriend, Cassie. Danger zone.

  “And Cassie?”

  “Yeah.”

  “No matter what you call this. No matter how hard you fight it. It isn’t nothing. I’ll talk to you in a few days.”

  Graham doesn’t even wait for me to protest; he just hangs up on me. I consider calling him right back to argue but that’s a certain way to have him win this disagreement. And I don’t want to argue, especially when I know he’s right.

  15

  Graham

  The view from my hotel room does nothing to improve my mood. It should—I’m in one of the plushest suites of the nicest hotel in town. I’ve told Dave this is a complete waste of money but he claims the company is insisting on it. Maybe that’s the truth, but it strikes me as unnecessary to have them trying to impress me. I’ve already signed the contract and agreed to the ad campaign. I’m going to be eating pizza on the beach, shirtless for some reason. No need for them to act like it’s anything else.

  As I wait for Dave to get his ass over here I have nothing to think about but Cassie. I don’t like how I left things with her, but I can’t fix it until I’m back in town and we can talk face-to-face. Hanging up on her was a calculated move, one that obviously backfired. I had expected her to call me back and yell a little to give me a chance to make a few more of my points. Instead she waited me out, ignoring me until I got on the plane and flew to Miami. She hasn’t even asked where I was going or what I was doing. Am I overestimating her interest in this? In me? Now all I can do is stew over the possibility that she’s out with her girlfriends or—let’s get real, my actual concern—that she’s hooking up with someone else. My pride keeps me from calling to confirm anything, but my brain can’t seem to stop turning over every unhappy possibility.

  “Dude, please tell me you aren’t going to make that face all day?” Dave chastises me after using the key card I didn’t know he had. “No one’s going to want to buy anything you’re selling with your face looking like that.”

  I scowl. “Who gave you a key to my room?”

  “The front desk. When I checked you in. I always ask for two keys. I’ll give you the extra one for my room if it makes you feel better. It isn’t as nice as this, but you can help yourself to the mini bar.”

  I’m not even sure why Dave insisted on coming with me for this shoot. He hasn’t done that in years. I don’t need babysitting the way his younger clients do and I can easily handle this on my own. A car picks me up, I do the work, and then the car drops me off again. No need for additional adult supervision.

  “You ready to go? The car’s probably downstairs.”

  I nod and grab my bag. “How long do you think this will take?” I ask, not really caring about the answer.

  “A couple of hours, tops. I told them not to oil you up too much. I know you hate that. And it’ll make us take longer to get out of the hotel tonight. I’ve got quite a few places we should check out.” Dave’s excitement about tonight’s possible activities makes me nervous.

  “I’m not going out tonight.” I usher him out the door and into the hall.

  “Sure you are. You aren’t going to pass up the chance to party in Miami now that you aren’t having to worry about team schedules and your workouts as much, are you? We don’t have to do anything crazy.” Dave and I have a very different definition of crazy and I have no intention of going anywhere with him tonight. Suddenly his de
sire to come on this trip is becoming clearer.

  “I’m not interested in partying, Dave. I want to finish this job and get back home.”

  “You won’t even come out to be my wing man? That hurts, Graham. And I’m sure we could find somebody for you. From the looks of it you could really use a little stress relief.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m fine. Just not interested.”

  “Is this about that redhead? Are you still on about that? What’s her name again? Carrie or something?”

  Just the thought of Cassie’s name in Dave’s mouth has my fists clinching. “That’s not any of your business.”

  “Nice try. You know that technically it is. If you’ve got a new girlfriend it would be nice for me to know so I don’t book you for some celebrity bachelor auction and make your friend all upset. Don’t be all territorial about her; I’m not going to try to steal her away.” Dave laughs like that’s one of his better jokes. I keep my face stony as I move to punch the elevator button.

  “She’s not my girlfriend,” I tell him as the doors open.

  “That’s good,” Dave responds as he slides in and pushes the button for the lobby. “Because if this is what you’re like getting laid on the regular then I’d be concerned with her technique.”

  I try and fail to contain my snarl. “Again. Off limits.”

  “Ah, so there is sex then. But no relationship. That’s the way to go, really. I would have suggested something like that myself but I know how you are. It is good to have something to keep your mind off the injury though and all the rest. It’s good to have a distraction.”

  I bristle. Cassie’s more than a preoccupation, but Dave drones on as we watch the display count down the passing floors. I keep my eyes on the numbers, breathing in and out. “And she’d be a good distraction. I bet she’s a handful. She’d take your mind off all this other real stuff.”

  I shut my eyes and try to keep a little Zen. It’s that or punch Dave in the face and since he’s managing my career that would probably be a stupid decision. Telling him he’s wrong and explaining the situation would only make things worse. Because my feelings for Cassie are real, not a diversion.

  “But now it makes sense why you haven’t gotten serious about any of the information I keep sending over. You can’t keep avoiding it forever. We’ve got to make some decisions. You’re lucky that between me and your financial advisor we’ve put together a solid plan, but you have to be the one making the ultimate decision. I know you hate thinking about investing and all that shit, but we need to get some things in motion before the world forgets who you are. The endorsements you have will continue for a while and we can add some more. A Super Bowl win would have helped that, but you made two appearances and you’ve got a great record personally and professionally. Let’s capitalize on that. Take two more weeks to work this girl out of your system and then let’s get serious.”

  I blink. Work Cassie out of my system and then get serious? Dave has no idea what he’s talking about. Sure, I’ve been avoiding him and I’ve sure as hell been avoiding things like this photo shoot. And as for the future? I haven’t made any real business decisions in a while. The main thing I’ve decided is that I want to get Cassie to think about our relationship. I’ve been putting most of my energy there.

  Which is exactly what Dave’s accusing me of right now. I feel a bit of panic as the elevator doors open back up. What if Dave’s right? He’s terrible at pretty much everything but putting deals together; he’s the absolute last person I’d ask for advice about a woman. The business part though… What if I am using my feelings for Cassie to keep me from thinking about other things?

  I bat that suggestion away. That’s what’s supposed to happen when you think you might be moving from infatuation to something real. Doubt begins to cloud my thinking. Cassie’s seen me as a selfish jerk for years when I’ve only ever thought I was determined. Pushing to get my way was a positive not a negative because it proved I was tenacious. So now I’m pushing Cassie instead of pushing people around on the field. Is my interest in Cassie only my way of keeping myself occupied? What if she’s right not to trust me to be steady and stable? Because if I’m using her to escape my problems, I’m just creating ones for her. Problems I now know will hurt more than she’d ever admit.

  16

  Cassie

  Graham doesn’t call. I half expect him to; I will him to, but the universe doesn’t seem to send out that message. He hung up on me and then went out of town, but the part of me that wants this unrealistic relationship to continue still wants the phone to ring. Every time it does I leap out of my skin, hoping against hope that it will be that stupid man. This does not bode well for me getting out of this without a few bruises and bumps.

  I end up at Julia’s eventually, licking wounds she doesn’t even know I have as we look over the menu options for her (second) fairytale wedding. Beef or chicken? Who the hell cares? Not me, the world’s worst maid of honor.

  “We’re doing more of a Mexican theme for the rehearsal dinner,” Julia tells me as she thumbs through a giant stack of food descriptions and prices. “Since everyone will be there already on Friday night, we’re inviting everyone to that, too. Last time it was just family and the wedding party for me and I think the same for Zach’s other rehearsal dinner. Does it sound weird to talk about it like that?”

  When I don’t answer Julia clears her throat. “Well, I guess that answers my question.”

  “What?” I stutter. I’m not even sure what the question actually was. Terrible choice for maid of honor confirmed.

  “Well, if you aren’t even going to answer then I can probably guess that it sounds weird to be talking about my first wedding and comparing it to this one. And if that’s weird then I should watch what I say about Zach’s first wedding, right? Comparing it, I mean.” She waits expectantly.

  “No, I wasn’t trying to tell you anything about that.” I really wasn’t, but I can’t tell her I wasn’t paying attention because I was hoping Graham would be here. That he’d at least call. I’m not sure he’s even home and the one way I have of finding out without Julia’s help requires me to make the first move. And I am absolutely not doing that. “Why isn’t Graham here helping with this?” There. Now if Julia knows where he is and what he’s doing she’s sure to spill it.

  “Graham? I thought you’d be glad to do this without him.”

  “I am glad.” Luckily Julia’s bent back over the menus and doesn’t have to see my guilty, lying face. “I was just wondering how he managed to get out of this particular obligation. He’s as good at picking out food as I am. Maybe better.” I reach for one of the pieces of paper so I have something to look at. Something to occupy my hands instead of my phone.

  “He does like to eat,” Julia concedes. “But he’s out of town for some photo shoot.”

  I choke a little. “A photo shoot?” My face flies up from the sheaf of paper. That’s what he meant by “work”?

  “Yeah, some endorsement deal. Pizza or something. Don’t tease him about it. He gets really grumpy about having to do them but he needs to, especially now.”

  “Why especially now?” I know nothing about Graham’s endorsements. Nothing about how he makes money. I’ve never even seen him play football much less talked with him about it or anything else having to do with his career. But Julia still seems to be in the know. My heart clenches a little. Stupid heart.

  “You know, because he isn’t playing anymore.” Julia says it matter of factly, like I should know exactly what that means.

  “So?” I shouldn’t care but I can’t help but be curious. If Julia finds that odd she doesn’t let on. She seems more concerned with getting the menu I’m clenching out of my hands.

  “Well, if he’s done playing he has to figure out what to do next. And he has to try to capitalize on the endorsements and things he can get now while he’s still able to, you know...”

  I don’t know. “Still able to? What does that mean?”

>   “While he’s still recognizable and people haven’t forgotten him. He’s only got a window of opportunity for that now. Eventually people won’t be willing to pay him to sell their products because he won’t be able to convince people to buy stuff. If he’s not tearing it up on the field, they’ll get someone else to shill sneakers and beef jerky.”

  “Beef jerky?”

  “Yeah, don’t bring that one up. Graham loves beef jerky, but the ads for that are a little bit ridiculous.”

  How have I missed all of this? Oh yeah, I’ve spent the last few years doing my best to spend as little time as possible with anything Graham-related. Even if that’s changed, the odds of us running into some beef jerky advertisement are pretty slim if I keep him trapped in my bedroom and refuse to be seen in public together. “So, if he isn’t playing football and his endorsements are going to dry up what’s Graham going to do?”

  “That’s what he’s supposed to be figuring out. He’s got options, but he’s never had any real job other than football so he’s not sure what he wants. And he’s distracted apparently. There’s some girl.”

  “A girl?” I try to sound uninterested but I’m sure if Julia looked, she’d see the steam rising off of me. Some girl? Probably a woman who’s thrilled to spend time with him in public. One who will happily let him post her face on social media and not try to hide him inside her house whenever he wants to see her.

  “That’s what Graham’s agent says. When he gets frustrated with Graham, he calls my dad. He’s not supposed to, but I think he knows Dad can talk sense into that thick skull better than anyone. Graham would be furious if he found out. Look at the price for this lobster! Who’d pay that?” Julia shoves a menu under my nose, but I’m not ready to get back to wedding planning.

  “Wait, so Graham has a girlfriend and that’s keeping him from what? From finding a job?”

  Julia sighs. “Not exactly. He’s supposed to be looking at investments and business opportunities, but he’s been putting it off. This chicken looks good. What do you think about this?”