Forget About It

by Jessie Harper

  I can feel the moment when Cassie makes the decision. There’s a split second of hesitation before she announces, “Forget the condom.”

  I’m panting, pressing my forehead to hers. “Are you sure? This seems like a big decision for this closet.” Cassie’s offering to let me fuck her bare, something that speaks to me of commitment and exclusivity. Something that I was sure she’d never give me.

  Cassie answers me by sliding her panties to the side and impaling herself on me. If I had reservations or misgivings I’ve forgotten them now as I’m wrapped in Cassie’s tight heat, my only thought that I need to get deeper, move my hips, convince Cassie to scream my name until it bounces off the walls.

  We’re both frantic as we start to move, Cassie’s legs wrapped around my hips, boot-clad feet hooked against my bare ass. I pull at the lacy panties wedged between us until the fabric gives way and there’s nothing but skin. The door wiggles on its hinges as I press her against it again and again and between the sounds we’re making and the bottles and cans falling from the wire shelf next to us we’re putting on quite a show for whoever might be walking down the hallway. But neither of us stops, neither of us even slows down. I keep pumping in and out of her and Cassie keeps urging me on, her mouth fused to mine and her hands tangled in my hair. I come with her name on my lips, shouting loud enough for anyone to hear, as she shudders against me.

  As we catch our breath, I push the tangled hair away from her face. I kiss her mouth, her eyelids, her cheeks and keep her body pressed against mine, not wanting to break the contact. I softly chant her name, the whispered Cassie, Cassie, Cassie standing in for all the things I want to tell her. She doesn’t push me away like she would have before, but I know she doesn’t want any of my declarations even if she’s letting me stay close.

  “Cassie, I—” The words are almost out of my mouth when she cuts me off.

  “We should clean up and get back to the party.” Cassie untangles herself from my hold and looks around for her purse. “We kind of destroyed this place.”

  “We did,” I admit. “Should we talk about…” This isn’t a conversation I want to have here, but with Cassie I have to take my chances when they come. “I mean are we…”

  “Well, these are a lost cause,” Cassie tells me as she looks at her ruined panties. She’s avoiding the question.

  “I’ll buy you a new pair. Look at me.”

  She turns in the dark and I can see the panic on her face. Cassie’s scared, and pushing this issue tonight won’t get me anywhere, so I wrap her in my arms and hold her for as long as she’ll let me. Then before I let her go, I just go ahead and say it.

  “I love you.”

  This closet is full of monumental moments. I see Cassie’s face twist and her mouth gape open.

  “You don’t have to say it back. I just can’t hold it in anymore.” I kiss the top of her head. “We should get back.”

  Wordlessly we do what we can to smooth our wrinkled clothes and make ourselves look less like we’ve been screwing in a supply closet and more like we were just caught in a passing hurricane. Cassie’s lack of underwear makes me unhappy but there’s not much I can do about that. “I’ll go first,” she says. “I could use a trip to the ladies’ room.” Cassie slips out though the door and into the hallway.

  I notice her sash on the floor as soon as the door shuts and instinctively I reach for the knob. “Cass, don’t forget this.” She’s right outside and my outstretched hand bumps her back. She jumps when my fingers brush her shoulder and turns to me with eyes wide. Standing not two feet from her are Zach’s sisters, both smiling at the sight of us, obviously up to something we shouldn’t be.

  “You owe me twenty dollars,” one twin says to the other as Cassie and I stand like guilty statues in front of them.

  Great. Now we’re really fucked.

  26

  Cassie

  I huddle in the bathroom stall, trying to get my breathing under control. This isn’t the best place to try to assume the fetal position or put your head between your knees, but it’s the only place I could reasonably flee to once Kat and Amy caught me with Graham. It’s obvious that they figured out what we’ve been up to. If they had any lingering doubts, my running away like my hair was on fire probably only cemented the fact that their suspicions were right. So, so right.

  And now they’re probably out there sharing what they know with everybody else.

  Breathe, Cassie. In and out. This isn’t the end of the world.

  Only it is. If Julia finds out that Graham and I have been seeing each other behind her back, that we’ve been having a secret relationship—how in the hell did we ever end up in a relationship?—our friendship will be different. How can she trust me again when I’ve kept something like this from her? When I’ve kept the someone of this from her? Graham doesn’t seem worried, but what does he know? He doesn’t have to follow the girl code. The code that pretty explicitly states exes are off limits, especially to best friends. He’s a man and he doesn’t have to play by those rules.

  A man who just told me he loves me.

  I groan into the empty space above me in the stall. Hopefully I’m alone. Not that I’ve cared about making noise tonight. Sneaking into a closet full of cleaning supplies and having loud sex for anyone to hear? What was I thinking?

  That you couldn’t wait even one more minute. That you couldn’t keep your hands off Graham even if it meant people finding out. That maybe you hoped you’d get caught.

  Fine. I can admit it to myself. When it comes to Graham I want more and more and more. It’s why I let him keep coming around, it’s why I can’t tell him no, it’s why he’s broken down so many of the barriers I’ve meticulously put in place to keep my heart safe. I even told him not to use a condom—something I have never, ever in my life, in all my hook ups thought about suggesting. That’s the kind of thing that gives Graham hope. He’s probably out there seeing hearts and flowers and all that crap. Unless he’s out there running interference with Julia and the rest of our friends. Which brings me back to the matter at hand.

  I can’t hide in this bathroom all night. I stand up and pull the metal door open with enough force to have it crack on its hinges. Alone in the bathroom I square my shoulders in the mirror and give myself a silent pep talk. Whatever’s happening outside these doors isn’t going away so I march myself back out into the club.

  It’s way less eventful than I imagine. Graham’s leaned up against the bar, sipping on a beer. If he’s battling some internal demon, he certainly doesn’t show it. The look I give him keeps him there at the bar even though his face tells me he’d prefer to come over and make sure everything’s okay. Julia’s on the dance floor with Zach’s sisters, but she’s not in the middle of having some sort of emotional moment about how I’ve ruined our friendship. When she sees me, she squeals and runs from their group over to where I’m standing.

  “There you are! Where’ve you been hiding? You’re missing all the dancing!” Julia tugs me out onto the dance floor where the twins act like nothing interesting has happened in the past few minutes. No sideways glances, no knowing smirks, not even one of those telepathic twin moments. I wait for the other shoe to drop because, let’s get real here, it has to, doesn’t it? There’s no way Amy and Kat watched me sneaking away from Graham and said nothing to Julia. Right?

  But no one’s acting like anything has changed. The twins are enjoying the company of some dudes with questionable dance moves and Julia’s urging me to quit standing around like a lump and shake my booty. It’s like I’m in a Twilight Zone rerun. Am I the only one who remembers what just happened out in the hall? I guess so because Zach and Graham are shoulder to shoulder at the bar, laughing at something one of the dude bros has said and Julia’s with me like our best friend status isn’t in jeopardy.

  Screw it. If everyone else can act like nothing’s wrong, then so can I.

  I throw my head back and shimmy my hips. Julia’s right there with me as we dance l
ike two high schoolers who’ve snuck out for the night. Julia motions for the boys to join us, but Graham and Zach just shake their heads and stay where they’re parked at the bar. Their loss because Julia and I are having a fabulous time without them. We dance until we’re both out of breath and in need of drinks.

  We throw ourselves up against the bar and try to make eye contact with the bartender. “It’s gotten really crowded in here!” Julia shouts over the music. We’re both sweaty in that post-dancing kind of way and she pushes several strands of her glossy brown hair back from her forehead. “Definitely need something cold after that.” She laughs and I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that this isn’t the last time we can be together like this. The threat of what Kat and Amy know keeps pinging in the back of my mind.

  When we finally get the bartender’s attention, I rattle off our order like the pro I am, making sure to include two glasses of ice water. He’s a heavily tattooed guy with an unfortunate goatee who would normally be under consideration if I hadn’t been bitten by the Graham bug. As is, I’m suffering from some unfortunate virus that makes all other men almost invisible. I try not to look at Graham down at the other end of the bar where he’s still deep in conversation with some of Zach’s friends. Locking eyes with him is the worst thing to do when I’m trying to pretend he means nothing to me.

  “I’ll get those,” a voice croons close to my ear and a credit card materializes out of nowhere. I turn and find myself up close and personal with a mystery stranger. He’s handsome and gives me a smile that tells me he knows it. I smile back, but can’t muster the interest I’d normally be able to, even with the free drinks.

  “Thank you,” I tell him. “But you didn’t have to do that. We’ve got a tab going.”

  “I can’t let two pretty ladies pay for their own drinks.” He moves closer. “Not after I’ve had such a good time watching you dance.” He rakes his eyes up and down my body and then turns to get a better look at Julia. When he sees the ring on her finger, I can actually see his mouth twitch but he doesn’t stop leering.

  “Well, thank you again for the drinks. I think we’re going back out.” I raise my glass to him in a little mock toast and go to steer Julia back out on the dance floor or at least closer to it. Definitely away from this guy.

  Four fingers and a thumb clamped around my elbow make me stop. “You’re leaving? I’d think buying drinks would get me at least two minutes of conversation.”

  “It’s a little loud for conversation, don’t you think?” I give my arm a tug, but he holds fast. I glare down the place where his fingers are digging into my skin.

  “Then maybe we could move somewhere quieter. You never even told me your name.” He smiles again and his fingers relax a little on my arm. “We haven’t even gotten to the introductions.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. If this fucker thinks buying me a drink entitles him to quality time, he’s got another thing coming. Julia’s still beside me and she’s giving him the death glare but this guy can’t seem to take a hint, and we’re way beyond hinting now. I set the drinks back down on the bar and prepare to rip this guy to shreds when a familiar voice booms over my shoulder.

  “Don’t touch her.”

  Graham towers over this guy, the veins in his neck already starting to bulge. Shit, shit, shit.

  “Graham, I’ve got this,” I try to reassure him.

  “Yeah, we’re fine here. My friend and I were just having a conversation.” Again, this man is an idiot. Anyone can see Graham’s not in any mood to be talking. The fingers on his right hand clench into a fist that seems to be having a hard time staying by his side. If this guy keeps it up, he’s going to get that fist right in the mouth.

  Graham looks down at my elbow. “I don’t want you touching her.” I’ve always made fun of him for being like a big, threatening Thor impersonator when anyone would so much as look at Julia, but there is nothing funny about Graham right now. Right now, if he could, he’d spit fire at this man who has his hands on me.

  “What’s the problem here?” Thank God for Zach. He’s over by us in an instant, putting Julia behind him and trying to figure out why the hell Graham’s gone from chatting at one end of the bar to getting ready to pummel someone at the other end. He looks at my elbow and sees the place where my unsuspecting suitor has really dug his fingers in and Zach’s suddenly all business too. “Let go of her arm,” he tells him. “Right now.”

  He looks ready to argue, this man who is most certainly in the wrong place at the wrong time. He’s caught up in this thing between me and Graham while also at a party where the main invite list involves a bunch of guys who hit each other for fun. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t handle the eight pairs of fists that have gathered around our group. He lets go of my arm and dramatically pulls his hand back.

  “There!” he announces. “I’m not touching her. You should tell your girlfriend not to let other guys buy her drinks.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend!” I shout which only raises Graham’s ire. “And I didn’t let you buy me a drink. You didn’t exactly give me a choice.” I root around in my purse until I find my wallet and then I slam a twenty down on the bar top. “There. Debt paid. And for the record, buying a woman a drink doesn’t entitle you to shit, you asshole.” With that I stomp off, not even caring that Graham’s still standing there ready to rip someone’s head off.

  I walk straight out of the club and out to the street. Too late I remember that I’ve left my coat. It’s not freezing out here, but it’s cold enough that I consider going back in. Screw that. Going back in will only give people more of a chance to stare, more of a chance for Graham and me to cause a scene. I get to work finding the nearest Uber and start walking.

  “Cassie! Cassie, wait!”

  I sigh. Of course he followed me out here.

  Graham’s long legs easily catch up to me. “Where are you going? It’s freezing out here. Where’s your coat?” He reaches for me, but I don’t let him pull me in. His hand drops to his side and we stand on the sidewalk, our frozen breath filling the space between us.

  “I’m going home,” I tell him and go back to walking. I want to get as far away from this bar and this night as possible.

  “Let me text Julia to tell her we’re leaving.” He fumbles around for his phone.

  “No, Graham. We aren’t going anywhere. Go back inside.” I’m firm. I can do this. I can keep Graham at arm’s length.

  “What? Can I come over later?” He’s genuinely baffled.

  “No, no you can’t.”

  “Is this about what happened at the bar? I’m sorry I got so angry. I saw him pulling on you, touching you, and I just lost it.” Graham runs his fingers through his hair. “Can we at least talk about this?”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. It isn’t just the guy at the bar. It’s everything. This whole night…” I look at Graham’s confused face. “I think we need to take a break. At least until after the wedding.”

  Graham looks like I’ve hit him, the shock on his face making my heart seize in my chest. “No.”

  “No?”

  “No, Cassie. That isn’t what I want.” He shakes his head. “I want to go back into that bar and tell everyone the truth. I think that’s what you want, too. You just can’t admit it.”

  “This has gotten too complicated.” I try to keep my voice even, no emotion or I’ll back down. “We have to take a step back from this. If this all blows up now it will ruin Julia’s wedding.”

  “You think I give a fuck about Julia’s wedding? I care about what’s happening with us, Cassie. Nothing else.” Graham paces in front of me, blocking the sidewalk.

  “There’s no us, Graham.”

  “The hell there isn’t.”

  The gods of the gig economy smile down on me and deliver my Uber before Graham has a chance to get another word in. I hurriedly pull the door open and throw myself inside.

  “Cassie, do not do this.” Graham’s pleading with me through the glass of
the window, his face furrowed. “Do not drive away from me right now.”

  “I’ll see you in Mexico,” I say. “Please let me go.”

  When Graham backs away from the car, I feel relief wash over me. He’s not going to fight; he’s going to walk away. From me. From whatever this was that was growing between us. He stands on the sidewalk as the driver pulls away from the curb.

  He lets me go. What the fuck? He just lets me go. He doesn’t jump in front of the car or try to wrench the door open. Suddenly, I find it hard to catch my breath, the implication of what I’ve done making me gasp. I’m getting what I wanted, right?

  “Is everything okay back there?” my driver asks.

  “Yes,” I gulp out. “Everything’s fine. I’m going to be fine.”

  Eventually.

  27

  Cassie

  “So, there’s been a little bit of a mix up with the rooms.”

  I let out a giant sigh and give my neck a good roll. I have had the travel day from hell so it would be only natural for it to continue here at the resort. After having flight delays and weather issues I finally ended up in the very last row of a plane bound for Mexico after barely making my connection. Prime spot next to the bathroom? Check. Screaming toddler with no sense of personal space? Check. A middle seat that didn’t recline? Check and check. I’m exhausted and want nothing more than a hot shower, tropical drink, and then my bed. Apparently, the universe has other ideas.

  Julia’s at the front desk to intercept me before I can try to check in and she’s got her apology face on so I’m sure this is going to be good.

  “Are you trying to tell me I don’t have a room? I made the reservation the second you told me the details.” I start to make my mental list of all the ways I’m going to yell at the poor guy at the check-in desk. He’s about to wish he’d stayed in bed today. I know I’m already wishing I’d done the same.