Pride and Joy

by M. L. Rice

  “I hate to ask, Leah, but can you take me home now?”

  “Of course. Come on, let’s sneak you out the back.”

  As they descended the infrequently used side stairs and made their way toward the less crowded sunroom exit, they heard Michael yell, “Fine, this party is lame anyway. Fuck all y’all!”

  Bryce was thankful for Jennifer’s loyalty as she unceremoniously kicked Michael the hell out of her house. People would wonder why, and she was sure the asshole would spread some sort of lie around the next day, but right now Bryce just wanted to get away from him and the stifling crowd of people.

  *

  They sat in Leah’s car next to a park for a good two hours simply talking, calming down, and letting Bryce sober up until she felt somewhat normal again. Bryce marveled at what a difference a good friend could make in such a short amount of time. There was something about Leah that just made her feel safe and comfortable.

  When they were back in the driveway to Bryce’s house Leah smoothed Bryce’s hair and wiped the smudged lipstick and mascara from her face. “There. Now you just look like you’re tired from having a good time. They won’t suspect anything.” She smiled.

  Bryce took a deep breath. “Okay. Do I look drunk anymore?”

  “Nah. You’ll pass. Here, have a mint so you don’t smell like a frat house.”

  Bryce snorted and took the candy gratefully. After it had dissolved on her tongue, she found herself unable to move to open the door. Leah noticed and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?”

  Bryce’s eyes welled with tears again, but she couldn’t cry now. She knew her mom would be waiting up for her, and that was a confrontation she just couldn’t bear.

  “No. I’m not. Leah, can you stay with me? I really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

  Leah paused, her eyes wide, but said, “Yeah. Okay. Sure. Whatever you need.”

  “I owe you so much.”

  “No, you don’t. I’m here for you.” She waited for Bryce to regain her composure. “You ready?”

  Bryce took another steadying breath and pasted a fake smile on her face. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

  They entered the house laughing, pretending like they’d just had the best night of their lives. As she knew she would be, Bryce’s mother was sitting on the couch, pink rollers in her hair that matched her worn terry cloth robe, reading her ever-present Bible.

  “Hi, Mom!”

  “You’re home early. Is everything okay?”

  “Oh yeah. I just got really tired.”

  “Where’s Michael? I thought he was bringing you home.”

  Bryce faltered so Leah replied, “He wanted to hang out with his friends a little longer, so I offered to play chauffeur.”

  Bryce saw her mom purse her lips. She knew her mom thought it supremely ungentlemanly to not bring a date home.

  “It’s okay. I’d rather hang out with Leah anyway. Michael and I don’t actually have much in common. I had a great time, so don’t worry. Oh, and Leah’s going to stay over tonight, if that’s okay.”

  Mrs. Montgomery looked surprised. Leah had only been over to their house once before and she hadn’t strung three words together. Bryce could practically read her mother’s mind. Why would a mere acquaintance all of a sudden be invited over for a slumber party?

  “Sure. You’re welcome anytime, Leah.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Montgomery.”

  Bryce started up the stairs. “G’night, Mom.”

  “Night, sweetie.”

  Once Bryce was back in her room, the familiar surroundings enveloped her like a warm blanket. She felt safe here. Nothing soothed like the comfort of home. Of course, she still couldn’t bear the thought of spending the night alone, so she gratefully looked over at Leah, who was taking in all of the medals and trophies on almost every open space in the room.

  “I have some pajamas in the top drawer over there. Help yourself.”

  Bryce grabbed her own sleepwear and went to the bathroom to change. She began the slow and painful process of removing her prom dress and tsked when she saw a small tear in the bodice.

  Oh well. I’d never put this thing on again if you paid me, she thought bitterly.

  The simple act of putting on her baby blue striped pajama pants and swim team T-shirt calmed her nerves considerably, as did the routine task of washing her face and brushing her teeth.

  When she was done with her nightly rituals, she opened the door to her room and startled as she saw Leah’s bare back across the room. She had forgotten to knock.

  “Oh! Sorry.”

  Leah hurriedly pulled Bryce’s lifeguard shirt over her head and turned around shyly, her cheeks flushed. “No worries.”

  Bryce entered the room and closed the door behind her. For some reason her heart was beating fiercely in her chest. She wasn’t modest after years of changing in pool locker rooms, but the image of Leah’s smooth back seemed to have stubbornly imprinted itself on her brain.

  Weird.

  They stood looking at each other in awkward silence for what seemed like a full minute before Leah finally said, “You look really tired. Are you sure you want me to stay?”

  “Yes! I mean, yes please. I’m sorry. I’m so jumpy tonight. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to sleep, but it will be nice knowing I’m not alone.”

  They both moved to the bed and got under the covers, unfamiliar butterflies fluttering in Bryce’s stomach.

  “’Night. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

  “I will. Good night.”

  Bryce’s mind raced for several hours as she lay in the dark. Images of an angry Michael conflicted with remembrances of Leah’s kindness and the shockingly alluring image of her near-naked form. Eventually the images of Leah won out and she relaxed into a healing sleep.

  Chapter Five

  Leah ended up spending all of Sunday at the Montgomery household, and by Monday, just in time to go back to school, Bryce was almost back to normal emotionally. Her new friend was a godsend, but Bryce was also fascinated by her and wanted nothing more than to spend as much time with her as possible before she left for the academy. She had never found a guy she liked and now, out of the blue, she was drawn to a girl she didn’t even know that well. Maybe she was just latching on to her because of the care Leah had shown after such a shit-tastic night. Either way, she couldn’t seem to get Leah out of her head.

  Bryce took a deep and steadying breath, trying to work up the nerve to walk into her English class. She didn’t know if she would be able to be in the same room with Michael, much less sit with her back to him, not knowing what he would do.

  “Bryce.”

  She jumped about two feet into the air and spun around as she heard Michael’s voice behind her. Losing her balance, she fell back against the lockers with a loud metallic crash that made the students filing into the classroom laugh.

  “Whoa! Bryce, calm down.”

  “Stay away from me!” Her body shook.

  Michael put up his hands and took a step back. Quietly he said, “Listen. I want to apologize for what I did the other night. I was drunk and I just lost control of myself. I said and did things that were inexcusable. When I sobered up I…I couldn’t bear the thought of…” He seemed to choke up.

  Bryce stayed silent, still cowering against the lockers, holding her books close to her chest as if they were impenetrable armor.

  Michael sighed shakily. “Anyway. I know there’s nothing I can do to make it up to you, but I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I’m not that guy. And I want you to know how truly sorry I am. I bring new meaning to the term ‘epic fail,’ and I’ll regret what I did for the rest of my life.” He hung his head in what appeared to be real shame.

  Bryce grappled with what to say. He still scared the hell out of her, but he seemed to be genuinely sorry for his horrendous mistake. She settled on, “Thank you. For the apology. But…I don’t want to talk to you
ever again.”

  Still looking at the ground, Michael nodded sadly.

  Bryce edged away from him and entered the English classroom. She didn’t sit in her normal seat in front of Michael, but instead chose an empty desk at the back of the classroom, telling Mrs. Swift that she had a nasty cold she didn’t want to spread to the rest of the students. It was going to be a long day.

  *

  Bryce stopped at her house only long enough to drop off her backpack and put on her more comfortable running shorts. This didn’t stop her mother from trying to start a conversation, though. Bryce walked quickly through the living room on her way to the front door.

  “Hi, honey!”

  “Hey.”

  “How was your day?”

  “Fine.”

  Her mother patted the seat on the couch next to her. “Sit down with me for a while.”

  “I’m on my way to meet the girls at the park.”

  “I wanted to talk to you about going to church when you leave for New London.”

  “Mom—”

  “I’m just worried about your spiritual well-being, Bryce. You need to be careful or God will start to take notice.”

  Bryce didn’t know what to say to this. Her mother’s voice had taken on a slightly threatening tone. “Um. Okay. Can we talk later? Jenn and Arati are waiting for me.”

  Her mother glared. Bryce could tell she wanted to force her into an unwanted conversation, but her mom nodded curtly, ending the tense silence. Bryce took the opportunity to hug her good-bye and then left to jog down to the park that was situated conveniently in the center of the neighborhood where she and her friends all lived.

  The dry grass crunched as Arati walked ahead to the picnic table next to the small lifeless pond. Hanging back, Jennifer whispered in Bryce’s ear. “Are you going to tell her about what happened?”

  Bryce was surprised. “I assumed that you already had!”

  “No way. I said I wouldn’t tell anyone and I won’t. But I think you should tell her, you know? She’s our best friend.”

  Sighing, Bryce nodded, and sat down with Arati to do just that.

  *

  “He did what?!” Arati exclaimed from across the concrete table as Bryce recounted the terrible night.

  “Yeah. But he apologized today. For what it’s worth.”

  “Not very much, in my opinion!” Jennifer sniffed.

  “Well, I’m glad he did. It doesn’t change anything between us, but at least I know he regrets it and hopefully will never do it to anyone else again. Maybe another girl couldn’t have fought him off like I did. But seriously, Arati, I don’t want you to tell anyone else, okay?”

  Arati scowled. “I won’t if that’s what you want, but I think we should get a posse together to nail his balls to the diving board.”

  Jennifer barked a laugh. “Sorry. Weird visual. Gross.”

  “So that’s why you left the party early, huh?”

  Bryce shrugged. “I couldn’t stand to be there anymore. I felt so…dirty.”

  “Ya think?” Jennifer rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe he turned out to be such a creeper.”

  Arati shook her head. “I feel so damn lame that I was just down the hall and didn’t hear anything and wasn’t there to help you. I’m so selfish.”

  Bryce threw the dead leaf she had been systematically tearing apart at her friend. “Shut up, Arati. I’m glad you had a good time. Don’t you dare blame yourself for anything.” She paused and started picking at chips in the table before she continued, “I’m just glad Leah happened to be there.”

  Arati looked at Jennifer and then back at Bryce. “Leah?”

  Confused, Bryce glanced at her friends and said, “Yeah. Leah Friedman. She’s the one who heard me yelling and found me on the floor. She was brilliant. She got me through the night.”

  Arati and Jennifer looked at each other with sly smiles.

  “What? What’s so funny about Leah? Seriously, guys, she stayed with me all night, and all day Sunday. She got my mind off everything and it turns out she’s really, really cool. It’s too bad she’s always so shy around us. You guys would love her too.”

  Inexplicably, the grins of Arati and Jennifer had grown even wider as they heard her talk enthusiastically about her new friend.

  Bryce huffed. “Okay. Out with it. What’s going on?” She was starting to get irritated. They’d better not make fun of the girl who had kept her sane after the worst experience of her life.

  Arati looked at Jennifer with barely contained glee. “It’s just that…Jenn, you tell her.”

  “No way. You’re the one who’s good with the gooey stuff.”

  Arati turned back to face Bryce. “Okay, Jenn and I are pretty sure Leah has been, like, totally in love with you since elementary school.”

  Bryce’s stomach flip-flopped. “What, Leah’s like…gay?”

  Jennifer shrugged. “She’s never said anything. I mean, can you imagine? In this town? This isn’t exactly ground zero for tolerance. Most people aren’t as open-minded and cool as us.” She beamed proudly. “It’s just that…well, you can tell she totally digs you.”

  Bryce sat in stunned silence.

  Jennifer continued, “So, we just thought it was…you know…interesting that she spent the night at your house.”

  Bryce could tell that there was a question hanging in the air that her friends were too polite to ask.

  “She didn’t…do…anything, if that’s what you guys are wondering.”

  Arati looked disappointed. She loved hearing juicy gossip.

  “And anyway, how in the hell do you know she has a crush on me? She’s never shown it.”

  Jennifer smiled. “Bryce, you’ve never really seen her. She’s always been ‘Angela’s friend.’ The way she looks at you…well, I only wish that any of the guys at this school would look at me that way. That, and she never talks when you’re around.”

  “Right. She’s super shy,” Bryce added.

  “Yeah, she’s shy, but she actually talks to other people more than you’d think. Just not while you’re anywhere near her. You make her nervous.”

  “And she’s not the only one!” Arati offered.

  Jennifer turned to look at her incredulously. “Arati! Seriously? One isn’t enough for her right now?”

  “What? What do you mean she’s not the only one?” Bryce asked, annoyance on her face. What was with the secrets being revealed today? Despite her irritation, though, she felt a kind of pleasure knowing there were people out there who were into her. She knew people thought she was pretty, but she had just never had the time to think about dating.

  And she’d never thought about…girls.

  After a prolonged silence Jennifer poked Arati in the side. “Well, you’re the one who opened your big mouth, so go ahead.”

  Arati’s made an “oops” face and said, “Stewart.”

  “The sweaty guy from Biology? Ew. I mean, no offense. I’m sure he’s a lovely person on the inside, but…ew.”

  “Antonio.”

  “I don’t believe this. You guys are seeing things.”

  “Dani.”

  “Danny who?” Bryce asked.

  “Daniela Cordova. Duh.”

  Bryce’s jaw dropped. “No way, guys. That one you got wrong. Dani is just a friend.”

  Jennifer shook her head. “We see the same look on Daniela’s face that we see on Leah’s. That girl totally idolizes you.”

  Bryce’s head was reeling. Daniela was so young. But even as she had that thought, she realized Dani really wasn’t the same little girl she had always known. And three years wasn’t a big deal when you reached high school and beyond. But still. She was like a little sister. Wasn’t she?

  “Okay. I’m freaking out a little. What is this? Bryce’s Sapphic Adventure Hour? Why didn’t you guys tell me this before?” Her ears were hot, but she couldn’t tell if it was from anger or something else.

  Her friends looked at each other and shrugged as on
e. Jennifer spoke. “We didn’t think it was a big deal. We just thought it was cute. Why are you so upset?”

  “I’m not…upset. I just…don’t you think it’s weird that two girls would have crushes on me? You just don’t see that out here.”

  Arati beamed. “I don’t think it’s weird at all. You are a hottie, Bryce. I think half of the school probably has a crush on you. Guys and girls. Hell, even I wouldn’t kick you out of bed.”

  Bryce rolled her eyes. “Come on, Arati. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend, and that was Chris Yamada in junior high. We held hands in a movie once and that’s about it. He wasn’t even a boyfriend really. No one, except…except you know…the ‘M’ guy, has even asked me out since then.”

  Jennifer looked at her sagely and said, “Boys are intimidated by you. You’re pretty badass, you know. And the girls…well, I just assume they don’t even realize that they have a crush on you yet. It takes time for certain people to figure out their own sexuality.” Bryce could have sworn that Jennifer gave her a knowing look before continuing, “And even if they already have, they probably don’t feel comfortable expressing it in a place like Saltus.”

  “Well thank you, Dr. Fowler. Damn, you’re going to be a shrink, aren’t you?”

  Jennifer smiled. “Zoologist, actually. But it doesn’t take a shrink to see you’re so into your grades, your swimming, and pretty much anything else that piques your interest that you wouldn’t know if someone was madly in love with you unless they dropped down on one knee and proposed on the spot. Even then you’d think they were just asking you to go to a football game or something.”

  Bryce didn’t know what to make of this observation, so she just stayed silent, trying to filter and process all of this new information. As far as Daniela was concerned, Bryce thought it was sweet. She knew Daniela had always liked her a lot and she thought it was cool that she could be a role model for her. But Leah…she had slept in the same bed with a girl who had a crush on her. That felt a little odd. But Leah hadn’t tried anything…weird. She had just been there for her when she needed it the most. She knew she couldn’t let something like this get in the way of their friendship.