All We Have

by Len Webster

  Rob nodded once and then kept his blue eyes on her. “I love you, Allison. There’s not a part of you that I don’t love. I thought my dreams were the Olympics, but I realised they weren’t. My dreams will only consist of you and will always, until my last breath, involve you.”

  A large lump formed in her throat as her eyes glazed over. His words were beautiful. She felt his love. His dreams, however, she wasn’t sure. She’d never want him to regret never going to the Olympics. She’d love him for the rest of her life. It was Robert Moors and no one else.

  “Your lips have a choice,” she stated.

  He gave her a small smile. “What are my lips’ choices?”

  Ally reached up, pressed her thumb against his bottom lip and leant in close. A whisper away from contact. “To touch mine …”

  “Or?” he asked against her thumb. His voice became low and hoarse. She loved the way it made her heart suddenly become heavy, almost overwhelmed with love.

  Ally moved her thumb and rested it just on the corner of his mouth. “Or to brush against that gold medal you’ll kiss in a year’s time.”

  He had a choice to make.

  It was one thing to act big in front of her father, but he had to prove himself to her.

  Rob’s arms wrapped around her, he pulled her to the very edge of the step and against his body. “A year without your mouth on mine?”

  She nodded, feeling a little breathless from his gaze.

  “My lips are yours,” he declared softly.

  “Good. Because mine are yours,” Ally had whispered before a kiss sealed everything between them.

  Rob’s lips found the curve of her neck as he slowly pulled the zipper down her dress. “God, I love this view,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips on the back of her neck.

  Sexual tension had filled the taxi ride back to her apartment. She wanted him. His lips and his hands. She wanted to feel his love. Somehow, she had managed to sit through the ten-minute trip without jumping him in the back of the taxi. But the moment they were inside the elevator, the tension had exploded. Rob had her pinned against the metal wall, kissing her as if he’d been starved for her. His tongue had worked wonders against hers as moans and sighs sounded. She’d never loved her apartment more than when they had stumbled inside. Finally, they had privacy.

  “One of the reasons why I love this apartment,” Ally had said before she spun around.

  Rob shook his head and then pushed the dress down her hips, letting the expensive couture dress pool at her feet. “You,” he said, his eyes roaming her face rather than her half-naked body. “Are far more beautiful than the view your apartment offers.”

  “Am I, really?” she asked softly as she reached for his bow tie and unfastened it, letting it hang around his neck.

  He peeled off his tuxedo jacket and let it fall next to her dress. Then his hands descended to his belt and removed it with such swift and ease that she was left staring in awe. Robert Moors had a body of a god. Large, broad shoulders. Thick, muscular arms and rock-hard abs. Every bit of him was defined. A sculpture, really. Beautiful was hardly the word to describe him.

  Once he’d stepped out of his black pants, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up to gently place her in the middle of her bed. His body covered hers in seconds. At that moment, she realised just how much not only her heart had missed him but her body, too.

  “Really,” he whispered against her mouth as he kissed her. One long, deep kiss. “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever had the privilege of seeing with my very own eyes, Allison. But your smile is the most beautiful part of you. Then your voice.”

  “My voice?” she asked as her fingers ran down his neck to his shoulders.

  He propped himself on an elbow. “When you used to call me. Before I told you I didn’t care for you. It was all lies. Listening to your voice was how I fell in love with you.”

  Ally’s lips parted and a silent gasp escaped her.

  Rob glided his lips over hers. Short and definitely sweet. “You were talking about CeCe. And the way you talked about her, your voice went soft and it was filled with a lot of love. I knew I loved you then. When did you know you loved me?”

  She swallowed hard. She was sure she’d show her age with the insta-love explanation that would roll off her tongue. But she didn’t care. It was the truth. And the truth was beautiful now that she could express it.

  “The night I met you,” she revealed. “On that bench by the river. When I asked you what you saw when you looked at me. You told me I was beautiful. I didn’t believe you, but then you said you wished I could see how you look at me. I fell in love with you then. Every day since, I fell further.”

  The love shone brightly in his soft eyes. Though her room wasn’t as bright as she’d have liked, she wanted them to make love with the city lights pouring inside. Her penthouse apartment was on the top floor of the tallest building around. No one would see. It would just be her and Rob.

  “You waited a long time,” he said as he got on his knees and then pulled his boxer briefs down and off his legs. His hardness against his stomach.

  He was right. Ally had waited a long time. And the truth was, she’d wait forever for him. She’d made a deal that it was him and no one else. Her heart wanted no one but Rob.

  I can wait longer.

  I’ll wait long after the Olympics.

  The thought had her blinking quickly as her heart combusts into flames. He was sacrificing everything for her. The promise he’d made his mother before she died. If he ever found out the truth about her health, he’d hate her for leading him on and for missing the Olympics. If anyone was going to have their dreams, it was Rob. This time, she was putting him before her.

  Ally sat up and reached behind her to unclasp her bra, discarding it with the rest of their clothes. Just as she was about to remove her nude coloured lace panties, Rob had shaken his head.

  “Lay back,” he instructed in a low voice.

  Once she had complied, Rob’s fingers dug into the sides of her panties and then peeled them off her body. Now, they were both naked. She wanted it bare between them—no condom—but she couldn’t risk it.

  “I’ll just get a condom,” he said as he scrambled off the bed and bent down to pick up his pants.

  Ally sat up and crossed her legs, staring at him. She loved him. That she was sure of. But she couldn’t let her past destroy his future. Had she known she’d fall in love with him when she was sixteen, she’d have refused her socialite days. She’d have made sure she was worthy of him from the very start.

  “Robbie,” she said in a small voice.

  “Yeah.” He pulled out his wallet and retrieved the contraception from it. Then he dropped his pants and wallet on the carpet.

  “Say goodbye to me like this,” she announced.

  “What?” he blurted out desperately as his terrified eyes met hers.

  “For now. Just until after Rio,” she explained.

  Rob quickly got on the bed and sat in front of her. “I love you,” he breathed. The pain was evident in those three words.

  “And I love you. But my life is about to change. I have to stay here. You have to continue to train in Melbourne. I have to amend my public image to be worthy of you.” Tears pooled, blurring her image of him.

  “You’re worthy of me. That’s not the problem. It’s me who needs to be worthy of you. I have to prove myself to you—”

  She got on her knees and cupped his face, silencing him. “Then make the Olympic team. Go to Rio. Go there for me. For you. For us. Make me proud of you. I’ll be here waiting. It’s just over a year, Robbie. We can do it. We can make it. When you come back and you still love me and want me, I’ll know that you’ll never resent me for taking away your dreams.”

  He shook his head in her hands. “No, no. I won’t do it. I don’t want the Olympics without you.”

  Her lips fluttered over his. “You’ll have me. I’ll be there supporting you. I’m just asking that we
wait. When both our lives are more stable and right. Please?”

  “You really want us to be apart?”

  “For a little while. Give me tonight. Give me something I can hold on tightly to, something to last the next year and a bit. This night and memory. Make it perfect. I want to wake up tomorrow, knowing that you’ve already taken the company plane back to Melbourne.” She felt her tears slide down her face.

  Your dreams became mine.

  “Is this what you really want, Allison?” He sounded desperate. His expression spoke of his broken heart.

  She nodded. And then took the condom wrapper from his hands and ripped it open. Then she handed Rob the protection and laid down on the bed. She watched intently as he rolled the rubber down his hard erection. His eyes shone like he was about to cry. Then he blinked and his body covered hers.

  “Say goodbye to me like this,” she whispered as her thighs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. “Make love to me, Robbie.”

  Rob’s forehead was against hers as she felt him press into her. He paused, panting. “The moment I win you that gold medal, I’m coming back for you. Don’t even think that I won’t. I will, I promise. I love you, Allison.”

  One hard thrust and he filled her, making her moan. “Deal. I love you, too,” she said breathlessly. “Come back for me after Rio.”

  “An O’Connor doesn’t break their deals,” he reminded as his eyes remained on hers. “Well, neither does a Moors. I don’t back out of my deals when they concern the love of my life.”

  Then he made love to her. Her tears ran down her face as he spoke promises in her ear of the life they would live after the Olympics. Her heart had burned to ash knowing that this was the last time she’d be intimate with him. They had made love three times before he pulled her into her arms and his heavy breathing settled. Sometime after that, he slipped out of bed and got dressed, unaware that she had not slept at all. Ally had closed her eyes and let his final ‘I love you, Allison’ brand her in every way possible. She savoured that final kiss of his on her temple. One year and three months until she could have him back.

  She would not break this deal.

  Ally had watched the sun’s rays filter her bedroom. She wasn’t sure what time it was or how long it had been since Rob had left. But it felt long. It felt like an eternity. When Serge had knocked and entered her room, Ally hadn’t bothered to sit up or say good morning. He’d have known what had happened last night. Her discarded clothing was an indicator.

  Serge crouched by the side of the bed she was lying on and brushed her hair away from the wet tears that remained on her cheek.

  “Piccola, the company plane has returned. Mr Moors made it safely back to Melbourne,” Serge informed and then exited her room.

  When the door clicked close, Ally breathed out, letting the pain serenade her. “Don’t break our deal, Robbie,” she whispered as she stared out at the glittering harbour.

  Three weeks later

  It had been three weeks since he’d left Allison asleep in her Sydney penthouse apartment. It had killed Rob inside, but he wanted to give her what she wanted. She made sense. He had a fear that he’d hold some form of resentment against her when they were older if he hadn’t, at least, tried to make it to the Olympics. He was sure they’d be all right. He’d wait for however long it took to have her back. And he knew how loyal she was. Her deals were worth more than promises. The day after he had landed back in Melbourne, he was about to get his tux dry cleaned when he found the SD card in his pocket.

  He’d inserted it into his laptop’s memory card reader and viewed the pictures of Allison and him on the steps of Sydney Town Hall. The love in her eyes had made the clenching sensation return within his chest. It made him breathless and the only way to ease it was to go out and train. He’d made her a deal. He was working hard every day to win her that gold medal. It wasn’t just about fulfilling his promise to his late mother. This time, he was working towards getting it for him and Allison.

  For them.

  Rob took the bottle of water from his coach, Ralph, as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He’d spent the last hour on the rowing machine after he had done some weight lifting. Tomorrow was Nationals, and his coach had opted for a lighter training session. Yesterday, they had done row after row down the Yarra. Rob’s arms and legs had burned, but it held nothing to the continuous empty void in his chest. He missed Allison. All he wanted to do was call her. But he hadn’t. He had to stay focus. He was going to get them to the Olympics, and when he did, she’d be at the finishing line, cheering him on. She would make the journey to Brazil with him.

  “You’re looking good, Rob. Soon, I’ll be calling you national champion.” The smug grin on his coach’s face had Rob chuckling.

  “Don’t get too cocky, Ralph. Petenski’s competing as Queensland’s rower. He’s kept his training and PB under wraps. He could have smashed the world record and not told me. He could kick my ass out there tomorrow.”

  Ralph’s facial features hardened and he sucked in air. “You’re right. Early night, all right? Get some sleep and I’ll see you at the starting line. You’ve got this, Rob. Then Worlds.”

  “And then the Olympics,” he said, wanting to hear it out loud for himself.

  “Keep going the way you’re headed and you’ll win that gold, kid. Get yourself cleaned up and go home. I’ll see tomorrow,” Ralph said. He began to pack up his clipboard and gym bag and then he left the gym.

  Rob’s phone beeping loudly had him getting off the machine and retrieving it from underneath his towel. He unlocked it to find his brother had sent him a reminder.

  The child: Don’t forget that we’re celebrating my brother being NATIONAL CHAMPION tonight at my place. Special meal is happening. I’ll see you at six.

  Rob: Don’t bloody jinx me. But let’s hope. I need to get selected for Worlds.

  The child: So you can go through with your deal with Ally?

  Rob: Yeah. I’m doing this for her. I never want her to ever doubt my love.

  The child: You’re a good guy, Robbie. I’ll see you at six.

  Rob: You need me to bring anything?

  The child: Just yourself. But scrub up nice, okay? The fiancée will not accept your sweaty, post training attire, thank you very much.

  One last check of his black dress pants and the rolled up sleeves of his pale blue shirt and Rob was satisfied that the outfit he’d chosen would appease his brother’s fiancée. Rob knocked once and then waited. Because of the nightmare traffic he had encountered on his way to his brother’s place, Rob was five minutes late. He waited outside for almost a minute until the door opened and Stevie smiled up at him.

  “Hi, champ,” she greeted.

  He squinted at her. When he had returned without Allison after coming back from Sydney, Stevie had kicked a fuss. Shouted that she hated him for being an idiot. It took her fiancé, Julian, to calm her down. She had apologised, citing that she lost a best friend because of his ignorance and that it was hard to watch it unfold.

  “You know you’re jinxing me, right? It’s bad luck.”

  Stevie rolled her eyes and then stepped aside, welcoming her into the apartment. “I’m messing with you.”

  Rob entered the apartment, made his way down the hall, and asked, “How are your assignments?”

  “Good. Got a high distinction on my last marketing report. Now, I have my major ones coming up. Some presentations for my management classes. You know, all the fun stuff,” she said behind him.

  “You’re almost done. Is Julian in the kitchen?” Rob asked over his shoulder.

  “Yep. He has a surprise for you.”

  He stopped and then spun around to see the grin on Stevie’s face. “You didn’t get him that dog, did you?”

  Stevie laughed and then pushed past him. “I get him a dog and he’ll forget who the real love of his life actually is,” she said as she led him into the kitchen. “Julian, Rob’s here.” />
  Julian’s head popped around the open fridge door. The smile on his face mirrored Stevie. Rob stood there, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to decipher what the hell was going on with these two. His younger brother closed the stainless steel fridge and then nodded as if he were pleased with himself.

  “Dinner’s ready!” he yelled out loud.

  “Dipshit, we’re right in front of you. You don’t have to yell for the neighbours,” Rob commented as he approached the bench.

  “Maybe I was trying to get someone’s attention,” Julian stated with a smirk.

  “Whose attention?” he played along.

  “Maybe mine?” Her voice was a soft whisper behind Julian.

  Rob said nothing. His eyes blinking and his mouth made an ‘O.’

  “Holy shit, I think he’s going into shock,” his brother said.

  Without a single thought, Rob pushed Julian aside to find Allison standing next to the balcony. She wore a loose fitted pale aqua dress that hit above her knees. Her ash-blonde hair was in natural waves over her shoulder. The smile she wore was beautiful and sweet. She looked relieved and happy to see him. The burst of rightness that imploded within him spread throughout every part of him. Three weeks since he’d left her. Three weeks since he felt her. Three weeks since he’d told her that he loved her. And three weeks since he made that deal that it was her he wanted forever, long after the Olympics.

  “Hi,” she breathed. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “A lot of things. For pretending to be asleep when you slipped out of bed. For not saying I love you back when you left.” She paused. Her eyes glistened. “For being back in Melbourne for the last few days.”

  “You’re here now,” he assured as he gripped her arm and pulled her into a kiss. The first ounce of contact of her lips on his had his heart slowing. Like the night they had met, it told him to memorise this moment. Every second of it. Her mouth on his was both pain and relief. She was back. She was here the day before Nationals.