All We Have

by Len Webster

  The guilt doubled in his chest. The pain had him searching the room for a waiter. It hurt having kept Sarah a secret all these years but keeping what he had with Andrea a secret was killing him alive. So much so that he had gone back to Sarah and wanted her to take it all away. To make his infidelities seem non-existent. But no amount of sex with her could make him forget.

  He had betrayed Alex when he slept with his girlfriend, Sarah.

  And he had betrayed Noel when he had kissed Andrea.

  Sloppy seconds is what they called it. And he had indulged in the concept more than once. But Andrea, he couldn’t forget her. Couldn’t forget her off his skin and his thoughts. He wanted her. He wanted to speak to her and see her.

  But she lived in Boston and he lived in Melbourne.

  It was never going to work.

  “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled. “She’d never want to see me again anyway.”

  “You don’t know that,” Rob countered.

  I do.

  She’s said it so many times.

  Instead of saying that, Max opted to divert the conversation. “Has Julian’s flight landed yet?”

  Rob shook his head. “Nah. Not yet. He said he’d call once he left the airport.” He paused and then scratched the back of his neck. “Max, I really think you need to tell Noel. And I really think it’s time you tell Alex about Sarah.”

  Max’s eyelids fell closed. After he took a deep breath, he glanced over to see Alex Lawrence dancing with his fiancée, Keira. He had a right to know just whom his ex-girlfriend had cheated on him with. Even if it was with his best friend. Max had done a lot of bad things in his life, but sleeping with Sarah had been the worst. Trying to hook up with Andrea came close.

  “Yeah,” he finally agreed. “I gotta tell him. I’m just not ready to lose him or Noel just yet.”

  “Excuse me, Rob,” a soft-spoken woman said.

  Both Max and Rob spun around to find Ally O’Connor standing before them with a hesitant gleam in her hazel eyes. Ally was stunning. Sexy when she needed to be, but all-around the girl-next-door that no one in society saw. She was Sydney’s it girl. An heiress with more money in her pockets than everyone at the wedding combined.

  Out of the corner of Max’s eyes, he noticed Rob’s posture stiffen. “Yes,” Rob said, almost sounding as if he were dismissing her. Max knew Rob had been interested in the nineteen-year-old since he had first laid eyes on her at Clara and Liam’s rehearsal dinner. Luckily for everyone, Clara had backed out, opting to spend the rest of her life with Nolan Parker rather than Liam O’Connor.

  Ally flinched at his abrupt reply. She had dug her teeth into her bottom lip before she released it. “Could we talk for a moment?”

  Rob sighed. “Allison, I’m with Max—”

  “No, no,” Max said, shaking his hands. “I’m going to step outside for some fresh air. I’ll let you two have a moment. We’ll talk more about that thing we were discussing later. You look as beautiful as always, Ally.”

  The blush that took over her cheeks was so innocently cute that he was jealous of Rob. Max knew deep down that their feelings were mutual. However, Ally’s public image wasn’t really one for an Olympic hopeful to be linked to. But Max had every faith in the world that they’d figure it out. If anyone deserved to be loved, it was Rob. The guy had run away from it for so long that it was only about time that it cornered him. And a woman like Ally was perfect for him.

  Max sent a wink Ally’s way and then slowly backed away. The two stood there staring at each other until Max spun around and made his way towards the ballroom doors. Once he’d reached it, he slipped out of the wedding reception and stepped into the hallway with a heavy exhale. Digging his hands into the pockets of his black dress pants, Max made his way towards the glass doors. Wrapping his fingers around the steel handle, he pulled the door open and went outside. He took in the vast hills and golf holes of Eagleridge golf course. Then, he distanced himself from the wedding reception and headed towards the bridge that connected the gazebo Noel and Clara had said ‘I do’ under to the main course.

  When he noticed a woman in a purple dress standing on the bridge, he paused and smiled at the way her brown curls fluttered in the wind. She’d had black hair the last time he’d seen her before the wedding. The light shades of brown suited her. It gave her a softer appearance. Though her black locks brightened the colour of her blue eyes, when he had stood in line to walk her down the aisle, they appeared gentler. Even sweeter.

  Josephine Faulkner.

  Max watched the way she gazed at the water ripples as she dropped a small rock into the lake. Unlike Clara’s other friends, Max barely knew Josie. He’d said hi, and when he had been paired up with her for the wedding, he hadn’t minded. All he knew of her was that she was a law student with black hair dating a DJ; next, she was this beautiful brunette looping her arm through his.

  He took her in. Max had never seen someone so lost in thought or so graceful as she stared at the lake. Josie was beautiful. He’d known that the moment he had laid eyes on her. But he knew nothing about her. And maybe that was what he liked about her. She was a mystery he didn’t have to solve. She never asked for anything from him. Josie Faulkner was a mystery he did want to solve. It was a strange thought to have. There was no explanation as to why he began to walk across the bridge and towards her. For once, he wanted to speak to someone not linked to his past. Max wanted to speak to a woman he had no interest in other than finding out about her day.

  “What are you doing out here, Jos?” Max had asked once he stood next to her and rested his arms on the wooden railing of the bridge.

  Josie moved her hand closer to his, presenting him a handful of small rocks. “Thinking. Throwing rocks into this lake. What about you?” she asked as she lifted her palm higher, wanting him to take a rock for himself.

  When her eyes met him, a smile graced her lips in a slow and perfect motion. For a second, the way her eyes glimmered caused his beating heart to spike. It was an odd phenomenon. Something he had never experienced before. He swallowed hard, hoping that lump that had lodged in his throat would leave him. “Thinking. Just about to throw rocks into the lake with you.”

  Josie’s perfectly pink lacquered lips deepened as her smile grew wider. “Well, go for it,” she urged.

  He nodded and took a small charcoal-coloured rock between his fingers. Then he turned and peered over the railing. Breathing out, he let the rock fall away from his touch and watched as gravity pulled it into the lake. The rippling water had him fascinated. Ripples just like life. One action affected the other. The ripple effect. Life’s cruel tricks. One mistake led to another and then another. Just like his involvement with Sarah Collins. She was the mistake that just kept coming. Literally and figuratively. He hated that he couldn’t forget just what it felt like to be with her. It had him returning to her no matter how poisonous she was.

  “So our best friends are married,” Josie said, interrupting his thoughts.

  Max peeked over to find her lining the rocks on the wood in the space between them. “Yep,” he agreed.

  She nodded. “I feel compelled to ask you this, but are you okay?”

  His brows met and he turned his body to face her. “What makes you think I’m not okay?”

  Josie sighed and set the last rock down and mirrored the way he had turned his body to hers. “Max, I may not know you very well, but I can see the trouble in your eyes. That guilt in your eyes. I know it all too well. I saw it every time I saw my dad return from Germany after spending all his time there with his daughters.”

  Doesn’t she mean her sisters?

  “What?” he asked, confused.

  She pressed her lips together. “My dad left my mum when he became the Australian Ambassador to Germany. Met this German woman and had kids with her. Watched them grow up and not me. Missed all my dance recitals. I needed him and he had a new family that he never invited me to join. He comes back each year and I get to spend two weeks with him
and his guilty eyes and conscience. So, yeah, I know what guilt looks like, Max. So I have to ask again, are you okay?”

  Am I okay?

  No one had asked him that. No one had cared enough to warrant concern towards him. Not Sarah. And not Andrea. Only Josie. The realisation warmed his chest. She cared enough and that caused him to smile at her.

  “I’m okay, Jos,” he said.

  She took a deep breath and did something that completely surprised him. She took his hand. The jolt in his chest startled him at the connection of their hands. His lips slowly parted as he found it difficult to breathe. Found it difficult to comprehend such intense feelings. Max watched as she gazed down at their hands touching and then returned those beautiful blue eyes to him.

  “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you. You seem like you need a friend. And honestly, I could use one, too,” she admitted.

  He squeezed her hand, feeling content with such an innocent act. In fact, he enjoyed her touch. “Consider us friends.”

  The small laugh she made had him grinning at her. “Well, Max, now that we’re friends, you wanna go abuse Noel and Clara’s generosity with that free bar?”

  “I love the way you think, Josie,” he said, hand-in-hand, afraid to lose her touch.

  Something about Josie and just the touch of her skin alone was different. And she wanted to be friends.

  This.

  This was something Max wanted.

  Josephine Faulkner, in all her mystery, was a friend he needed.

  Just as he was about to lead the way, his phone rang. Sighing, and believing it was the current client he was dealing with, Max gave her an apologetic smile. Josie nodded for him to take the call and Max dug his phone out of his jacket pocket. He glanced down to see Sarah’s name flashing and instant dread filled his body. Out of all the days for her to call, today was most definitely not the day to. Noel and Clara seeing the woman who had caused their separation was not what they wanted on their wedding day.

  Max lifted his chin and had clenched his jaw before he said, “I’m sorry, Jos, I gotta take this. I’ll meet you inside?”

  “Is everything okay?” she asked. The worry in her voice was something new. No one had ever directed such concern towards him.

  Warmth spread throughout his chest and he gave her a nod. “Yeah, nothing to worry about. Save me a dance, okay?”

  She let out a sweet laugh. “Sure. I’ll see you in there, Max.”

  Then she walked past him, off the bridge, and made her way back to the wedding reception. Quickly spinning around, he watched her take step after step away from him, loving the way her skin glowed from the bright sun and how her hair blew because of the warm wind.

  The phone vibrating in his hand caused him to shake his head. What he felt around Josie was different, new, and not sure if warranted. She seemed nice and sweet. But he wanted them to be friends. Something about her and the idea of a friendship between them had changed something within him. Whether his outlook on life or his approach, he would be the better man he knew was somewhere deep inside him.

  With a confident and reassuring nod to himself, Max let out a sigh and answered the call.

  “Sarah?”

  COMING SOON

  LATE 2016.

  Read other books by Len Webster

  I never, in my wildest dreams, thought I would ever write stories long past Noel and Clara. When I ended Thirty-Eight Reasons, I thought, ‘that’s it. No more writing!’ But I am so glad I didn’t listen to myself, and got persuaded by so many to continue to write.

  And here we are, the acknowledgements of book four in the Thirty-Eight series. I have loved every minute of Rob and Ally’s book. As frustrating as they were, I loved them. And I loved Ally, and found parts of me in her. I hope you loved their story as much as I enjoyed writing it—even all the ups and downs!

  As always, my wonderful and supportive family. My parents and my siblings. For always giving me the space I need to write and edit. Thank you for being there!

  My siblings, I love you all so much. Thank you for staying up late and watching Tom Hanks movies with me!

  Jaycee Ford and Alex Rosa, every acknowledgements I write have to consist with you, ladies. There wouldn’t be a book without you both. I miss you and wish you would both just move to Australia! We have colourful money, dammit! I love you both! Until Phoenix and New Orleans!

  My beautiful and wonderful editor, Jenny Sims, I am lost without you. You make my books make sense. When I see you, I am going to shout you a drink! Thank you for all the tireless hours spent editing my books.

  Najla Qamber, the genius behind this beautiful cover, every time you get it right without fail. I think All We Have’s cover is my favourite in the series… so far! It’s perfect, and you are perfect. Thank you, Naj!

  Danielle Woodside, for reading all the choppy stories I write. Thank you for welcoming me into your life. My life wouldn’t be the same without you. Until The First Touch of Sunlight!

  Chloe Meyer, you truly are remarkable. Thank you for keeping me grounded and organised. You are an amazing assistant and friend.

  Erin Spencer of Southern Belle Book Blog and Southern Belle Promotions, thank you for being there for me and my books. For hosting my cover reveals, sales blitz and release day blitz. I am even more thankful for you sweet and beautiful friendship, Erin.

  Emily and her brilliant team at E.M. Tippetts Book Designs, thank you for always taking my manuscripts and making them a work of art. Thank you so much!

  My readers, thank you for always trusting me with your time and hearts. I get to live my dreams because of you all. Thank you for reading every story. Your generosity and love makes me a better author. The best part of my job is after I release a book. Your reactions, comments and messages to the story and its characters are always my favourite parts. Thank you for changing my life.

  All the wonderful bloggers who have supported this book, my series, and me as an author. I am nothing without all. Thank you for all your hard work and commitment. I adore you all.

  ‘Rob,’ this book was dedicated to you because you taught me a lot about myself that I don’t think I could have learnt on my own. We got a lot of things wrong, but we also got a lot of things right. You get to live your dreams, and I got to live mine. When you’re a superstar, I will smile at my TV, miles and miles away from where you are, knowing the sacrifices I made for you and your dreams were right. I will never be bitter. I will always be thankful for our memories and our time together. In my anger and hurt, I understood everything. And for that I have no regrets. Thank you.

  And finally, to you, for buying the fourth book in this series. For reading up until the end of this book and your commitment. For spending your hard earned money on the books I create. I am thankful to you.

  OH! And to Tom Hanks, thank you for your movies. They kept me company while I wrote several books recently. I could write you an entire novel of how much I love you and wished we were best friends. If I ever do get the chance to meet you, I apologise. Seriously, I apologise.

  Love,

  Len

  Len Webster is a romance-loving Melburnian with dreams of finding her version of ‘The One.’ But until that moment happens, she writes. Having just graduated with her BBusCom from Monash University, Len is now busy writing her next romance about how a boy met a girl, and how they fell completely and hopelessly in love.

  She is also not a certified explorer, but she’s working on it.

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  All We Have

  Copyright © 2016 Len Webster

  Published by Len Webster

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
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  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re- sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to the seller and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

  Published: Len Webster 2016

  Editing: Jenny Sims

  Cover design: Najla Qamber Designs

  Interior design and formatting by:

  www.emtippettsbookdesigns.com

  Table of Contents

  TITLE PAGE

  BOOKS BY LEN WEBSTER

  ABOUT ALL WE HAVE

  QUOTE

  DEDICATION

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  EPILOGUE

  ALLY’S LIST

  WITH THE FIRST GOODBYE

  CHAPTER ONE

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  COPYRIGHT NOTICE