Zombie Surf Commandos from Mars!

by Tony Abbott

  The man beamed. “As long as they pay!”

  Liz ran back out to the gates and looked with terror on the scene before her. Men, women, parents, old people, kids, cats, dogs, gerbils, hamsters — all running from the zombie commandos pointing at their foreheads.

  Jeff stood next to Liz. “Your plan will work. I’m sure it will.”

  Then — it happened. Everything at once.

  Bong! sounded the Double Dunk Donut.

  Ssssss! went Usher’s pancake pan.

  “Eight o’clock!” Liz shouted.

  THONKA-THONKA-THONKA!

  A terrible tornado of noise roared over them!

  “It’s Mom!” yelled Jeff, waving to the black chopper as it roared by overhead. “Coming home from the shoe store right on time!”

  As soon as they heard the horrible noise, all the people of Grover’s Mill dropped instantly to the ground. They lay perfectly still, as if they were dead.

  “Perfect!” yelped Liz. “Everybody drops just like you said, Jeff! Now I hope it works!”

  The zombies stopped in mid-shuffle. They looked at each other. Skin fell off. They looked at the people lying motionless on the ground. More skin fell off. They didn’t know what to do. “Dead brains — no good — yuck!” one of the creatures snorted.

  “Yes!” cried Liz. “Zombies don’t like dead brains. Only living ones!”

  With that, Liz sprang into action. “Mr. Vickers, you take Holly and, when I give the signal, you do the total gross-out, skin-crawling scare you talked about. Jeff, you wait in the ticket booth and close the gates behind the zombies.”

  Jeff frowned. “Should I make them pay?”

  Mr. Vickers stroked his chin. “Well okay, half price for dead people.”

  “But first, we need to get them here!” Liz ran across the lot to the giant screen at the far end. She climbed up a metal ladder all the way to the top. She stood high above everything.

  “Lights, please,” she called down.

  FLINK! FLINK! Mr. Vickers switched on the huge floodlights and the air went white with crisscrossing lights, sending signals miles around that the movie was about to start!

  Liz stood amid the lights and began swaying back and forth high above the town. “Come!” she sang.

  Come and meet

  The brainy head so sweet!

  The tread of zombie feet

  Will bring you to —

  I’ll sing you to —

  a huge moist brain to eeeeeeeeeeat!

  The song caught the aliens’ sagging ears. They began to sway in the streets. They followed Liz’s haunting melody.

  From every street, alley, sidewalk, and yard in Grover’s Mill, they came, shuffling over the townspeople and into the Plan Nine Drive-in.

  “Customers!” Mr. Vickers beamed, still holding his camera. “A full house!”

  On! On came the zombies! They tramped toward the lights, toward the music.

  Once the parking lot was fully packed with zombies, Jeff shut the gates behind them and jumped back into the ticket booth.

  The night was ripped by a horrible noise.

  Unnnngh! Slaaaah! Unnngh!

  Then came the frightful words: “Blobbo, the Hideous Mutant Brainoid has come for you!”

  The zombies all twisted their flaky necks to see an enormous slimy green brainoid quivering next to the ticket booth!

  Oozy liquid was dripping from its teeth.

  Two black eyeballs glared down from a lobe.

  The total gross-out, skin-crawling scare!

  At once, the zombie leader pointed at Blobbo. “A hideous mutant brainoid is still a BRAIN!” he gurgled. “And what a — BIIIIGGG BRAIN!”

  The zombies saw supper. Supper big enough for all of them! They grunted. They groaned. They whined. They charged the ticket booth!

  “Oh, no!” shouted Liz. “Jeff’s in that booth!”

  12

  Keeee-oooo!

  Liz climbed down from the screen as fast as she could. She ran toward the booth.

  She knew Jeff was trapped in there.

  Maybe it was already too late.

  “Got to help Jeff!” she cried.

  Even Holly stumbled across the parking lot, muttering, “Help Jeff. Help Jeff.”

  Liz screeched around a squad of shuffling zombies and dived into the booth. In the dimly lit little room, Liz saw several zombies just inches from Jeff, their fingers stretching for his head.

  Liz eased along the wall, keeping her eyes on the zombies. She watched Jeff and the creatures just looking at each other.

  “Jeff,” she whispered, “what are you doing?”

  “Staring them down,” he explained. “Waiting for them to blink. This is good. I’m winning!”

  Liz shook her head. “Zombies don’t blink, Jeff. They’re already dead.”

  Jeff seemed to take a moment to think about that. He looked at the gray faces staring at him.

  “Oh,” he murmured.

  “Oh,” he murmured again.

  Liz crept forward. “Get ready to blast out of here.” She stepped into the light. The zombies shifted their gaze. Slowly, Liz lifted her bangs and showed her forehead. The creatures lunged toward her.

  “Hey!” Jeff cried. “What’s wrong with my brain?”

  “Just run!” Liz yelled.

  He ran. Liz ran, too. In a flash, the two kids leaped through the booth door and tumbled to the ground. When they got up, Blobbo the giant brainoid was nothing but a wet spot on the ground. Mr. Vickers was running across the parking lot with Holly in his arms.

  “Uh-oh!” Jeff gasped. “The zombies want dessert!”

  Liz ran over to the floodlights. “Quick, help me with these!” Jeff helped her arrange the large white lights to crisscross the black sky. “Now we wait. And we hope.”

  “And we die,” muttered Jeff as the Martians moved in. “Better practice your zombie shuffle. Because in half a minute — ”

  Keeee — oooo — keeee — oooo!

  An eerie sound filled the air. The sky was suddenly electric and the black night exploded to purple, green, aqua, and red.

  Then, as Liz and Jeff watched, an enormous round ship descended from the sky.

  It sparkled and streamed with thousands of lights whipping around in a gigantic circle.

  13

  That Word Again

  “Out of towners!” gasped Liz, staring up at the giant shape moving over them. “It’s the mother ship!”

  It was an awesome moment. Larger than anything Liz had ever seen, even larger than Lake Lake, a huge flying saucer, glowing with blinking bright colors, hovered above the entire town.

  “Wow!” cried Jeff. “It’s beautiful!”

  A wavy blue light came waterfalling down from the giant ship and covered all of them. The entire town of Grover’s Mill was bathed in the piercing blue light.

  “Nice effect,” muttered Mr. Vickers, reaching for his camera.

  “Wha — wha — what’s going on?” said a voice.

  Liz and Jeff whirled around to see Holly, pink and cheerful, staring up into the blue beam.

  “You’re back!” cried Jeff.

  “What about my back?” Holly snapped.

  Jeff smiled at Liz. She smiled, too.

  The Martian zombies gathered themselves under the beam. It got brighter and brighter until Liz couldn’t see anything. Then she heard shuffling and thumping, tapping and skipping.

  An instant later, the Martians burst out of the blue light like a bunch of rowdy high schoolers.

  They charged over to Liz and Jeff and Holly.

  Wow! Blond lady Martians with long wavy hair and handsome men Martians with big chunks of slick black hair. Wow! Wow!

  “Cool!” said Jeff, his mouth nearly dropping open onto his chest. “They aren’t ugly anymore. They’re like movie stars!”

  One Martian pulled out the bongo drums and began tapping out a spooky but snappy rhythm.

  Tap-tap! Tappa-tap! Tappa-tap-tap-tap!

  The l
eader of the Martians stepped forward.

  The kids edged backward.

  Suddenly, the Martian flung one hand across his chest and extended the other in front of him.

  He gazed into the distance and began to sing.

  As we saucered by

  We saw lights in the sky.

  But crashed into your lake and saw stars.

  “The floodlights from last week’s movie!” said Liz. “I knew that’s what brought them here.”

  “Rodeo Mummies,” Mr. Vickers beamed. “One of my scariest features.”

  Hey, the surfing was great,

  But now it’s getting late,

  And we’re bound for the planet that’s ours.

  So we bid you farewell,

  Being zombies was swell.

  But now we’re just commandos from Mars.

  Oh, yes, we’re Surf Commandos from Marrrrrrrrrs!

  Moments later, the waterfall of wavy blue light shone down again, and all the Martians waved politely and floated up into the ship.

  Keeee — oooo — keeee — oooo!

  In a flash they were gone.

  “Wow,” said Jeff. “Those guys really have style.”

  The rumbling sound of the giant flying saucer died away across the desert sky. The night air grew cool and hushed.

  “I really liked the blue beam,” said Holly with a big smile. “Being a zombie was kind of strange.”

  Then, from out of the darkness of the night, a woman darted up to the three children. She was all dressed in a military uniform.

  “Mom!” Jeff shouted.

  “Your father said something about zombies?” she said.

  “Take a look,” said Jeff, pointing to the lights vanishing in the sky. “Zombies from Mars!”

  The woman shook her head. “Zombies don’t really exist, son. But if they did, be thankful they weren’t from Pluto. Zombies from Pluto are the most vicious brain eaters in the galaxy!”

  Liz looked at her. “How come you know so much about alien zombies, Mrs. Ryan?”

  Mrs. Ryan frowned. “I … uh … talk to some interesting people, when I … uh … sell shoes.” She quickly backed away. “I’ve got to find a phone.” A moment later she was gone.

  “Hey!” said Jeff, huddling close to his friends. “Do you realize we just saved Grover’s Mill! Pretty cool, huh?”

  As they walked, Liz rolled the words over in her brain like a baker rolls dough. Saved Grover’s Mill. Did she do the right thing?

  She gazed out on the town. Double Dunk Donut Den. Usher’s House of Pancakes. Lake Lake. A town full of Zoners.

  Actually, she felt sort of proud of herself and her friends. And even relieved that things were back to … well … the way they usually are in The Weird Zone.

  Holly looked up into the sky. “I’m glad they got to go home. They’ll be a lot happier there.”

  Liz agreed. “Guys, it’s been weird,” she told her friends. “See you tomorrow.” She turned onto Oak Lane.

  In that instant she thought she saw something shiny flash across the sky toward the lake.

  What was that about zombies from Pluto?

  She shook her head, whispered a five-letter word beginning with W, slipped into her house, kissed her mother, and went to sleep.

  Just another day in The Weird Zone.

  Bong! went the donut clock.

  Sssss! went the pancake pan.

  Turn the page to continue reading from the Weird Zone series

  1

  Under the Full Moon

  Sean Vickers pumped his spiffy blue and white bike up the dirt road. “No!” he cried. “They’re too close!”

  Sweat dripped from his forehead. He shook it away. He was out of breath. It was getting dark. He was hungry. He had to stop.

  He couldn’t stop!

  The crunching, grinding sounds closed in on him fast. Faster! Faster!

  “Gotta keep going!” he told himself.

  Soon he would be on a bluff overlooking the town of Grover’s Mill.

  “I hope I make it!” he grunted. He started pumping uphill faster.

  Clouds passed over a full moon, and a breeze swirled up behind him, sending a chill down his clammy back. Yuck!

  Still, Sean pushed on, standing on the pedals and pumping hard over the gravel and dirt of the road. And still the sounds got closer.

  They were following him!

  Suddenly, his front tire twisted in the soft dirt. He drove his right foot down hard on the pedal.

  No good! He lost time. He heard the horrible cry—

  “Hey, floodpants! Wait up!”

  Sean decided not to struggle. He gave in. He coasted to a stop.

  Tires rolled up next to his. Attached to the tires were bikes and sitting on the bikes were his best friend, Jeff Ryan, and his not-so-best sister, Holly.

  “Aren’t you cold?” asked Holly, kicking at his pants with her foot.

  Sean made an ugly face at her. But it was true about his pants. He’d shot up since the beginning of the year. It was now midsummer and he was growing out of all of his clothes. He looked like a scarecrow. He towered at least four whole inches over Holly.

  “I stand tall,” he proclaimed, posing like a comic book hero.

  Sean and Jeff laughed together, posing like two muscular superheroes.

  Holly pretended she was going to be sick. Sean laughed harder. She was the reason he was biking so hard. She was a year younger, and the galaxy wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

  Sean rested with one foot on his bike pedal, the other on the gravel road. “Grover’s Mill. Some place, huh?”

  “From this far up, it seems pretty normal,” said Jeff.

  “Yeah, then you open your eyes,” Sean said, brushing his wavy dark brown hair away from his forehead. “I mean, just look around! A secret army base up there. A dinosaur graveyard over there. My dad’s horror movie studio over there. And us in the middle. This place is the exact center of total galactic weirdness!” He turned to Jeff. “After being at camp for two weeks, I see it all so clearly.”

  “I can’t see anything clearly,” said Holly. “It’s getting dark. Let’s go home.”

  “At camp we learned to love the dark,” Sean said.

  “Get real,” Holly snorted.

  “No, really. I learned survival techniques.” Then Sean snickered to himself. “Well, mostly I learned songs.”

  Sean started once more up the dirt road to a low rise overlooking Lake Lake.

  “So why didn’t you stay at Camp Goofy?” his sister quipped, pedaling alongside.

  “It’s called Camp Smiley,” said Sean, screwing up his face and thinking about swatting his sister. But he backed off and smiled instead. He couldn’t help it. That’s what the camp counselor said. Whenever he remembered Camp Smiley, he would smile.

  And it was true. He was doing it!

  All three bikers coasted on a flat stretch. Big hulking bulldozers and steamrollers were parked on both sides of the dirt road.

  “The best part of camp was this new kid I met, Mike Mazur.” Sean went on. “His family just moved into a new house at the end of this road. The tenth house, Mike told me. It’s white.”

  “We’re late for supper,” Holly said. “Besides, we’re not supposed to be up here. Remember what Mom said about the equipment. It’s dangerous. We could get hurt.”

  “I scoff at danger,” Sean snapped. “Superheroes always do. You can go home if you want to.” He gestured back down the hill.

  Shadows flickered in the moonlight, going in and out of the clouds. Black streaks slashed the road behind them. The breeze sweeping up from the lake was steadying into a wind.

  Without anyone seeing it, night had fallen.

  Holly said nothing. She rode along next to Jeff.

  Sean suddenly tore off around the first bend, leaving the others behind him again. He counted houses. “Five—six—seven. It’s coming up!”

  He banked fast through the corner and pedaled harder into a li
ttle straight before the next turn. He could make out three houses just ahead of him. A white one was at the end.

  “Eight—nine—tttttt—”

  FLAAAAAASH!

  A powerful blast of purple light exploded in Sean’s face.

  “Ahhhhhh!” he screamed.

  2

  Have a Blast!

  The force blew Sean backward. He skidded across the gravel and slammed hard into the huge tire of a bulldozer.

  “Ow!” he moaned. He suddenly ached all over. He felt as if his breath had been completely knocked out of him.

  Jeff ran over. “Wow, what a tumble! Are you okay?”

  Holly coasted up to him. “Get the training wheels. My brother forgot how to ride.”

  “Oh, man,” Sean groaned, feeling the back of his head for tread marks. “Did you see that?” He pointed to the clearing ahead. “That huge light?”

  Holly looked up. “That’s called the moon, Sean,” she snapped. “Say it, M-O-O-N!”

  “No, it was a big purple light,” Sean snarled. He turned to Jeff. “You saw it.”

  Jeff looked down. “Well …”

  “Oh, man!” Sean groaned again. He grabbed Jeff’s hand and pulled himself to his feet. He dusted off his pants and his W. Reid Elementary T-shirt. “Come on, let’s find Mike’s house.”

  Jeff trotted over to the road, stood there for a second, then came back. “I just counted, Sean. There is no tenth house. There are only nine.”

  Sean counted, too. Jeff was right. There was no white house. Suddenly Sean felt jittery all over.

  “I guess my big brother doesn’t know his numbers,” said Holly. “Maybe when we get back to school, you should drop back a grade, Sean. I heard Principal Bell talking about it anyway.”

  In the distance—bong!—the clock on top of the Double Dunk Donut Den chimed the hour. A moment later—ssss! The pan sitting atop Usher’s House of Pancakes hissed the hour, too.

  “It’s getting late,” said Sean. “We’d better go home.” He rubbed the back of his head again, hopped on his bike, and pushed off down the hill.

  The next morning was hot and sunny. Sean greeted his parents at the kitchen table and opened the refrigerator. A blob of brown oozy stuff slid off the top rack and onto his hand.