by Stahl, Shey
He nodded. “Yeah,”
I kept track of everything I could for him; from lap times to tire pressure and technique. It wasn’t like I needed to do that with a quarter midget but it made him feel special and that’s what today was about.
Growing up around the track, Axel already knew the basics in dirt track racing. He spent countless hours asking questions of me, Justin, Tyler, and my dad on how to race on dirt.
I managed to get him buckled in the car on the way to the birthday party before he started with his questions.
“How come,” this was how all his questions began, “when I hit toes holey things...I not steer very good.” His adorable voice had me smiling. He reminded me of Lane at this age when he frequently missed words when talking.
“Those are called ruts buddy.” I started telling him more about the ruts and didn’t leave anything out. I also talked to him as though he was another adult. My dad always did that to me and I always felt that helped my career more than the opportunities he provided me did. “The ruts are caused from wheelspin. You’d think the track would be nice and smooth but it’s rough, huh?” He nodded, listening closely as we pulled out of the pits. “Tracks with a lot of moisture, like Elma, can form ruts and if your car isn’t set up to roll over the ruts, the consequence is often a crash. Normally when your car hits the ruts you want it to ride over it but if the tire catches the rut, all the car’s weight is then transferred to the right rear causing the car to roll over. It’s worse in sprint cars because of the staggered tires.”
“Why are they stammered?”
“Staggered,” I corrected him. “They’re staggered for a number of reasons. For one, it helps the car turn left. Essentially this will work in your favor but sometimes it won’t. The rear tires are the only ones staggered meaning the left rear is smaller than the right rear.”
“Why?”
He never waited for your answer before he dove into the next question, much like me. “Sprint cars have a one-piece rear axle connecting the left and right rear wheel and don’t have differentials. So if you have both tires the same size and with the high compression ratios, the car would end up in the fence as soon as you hit turn one.” He seemed to understand so I continued. “Do you remember when we went to Knoxville Nationals this last summer and Grandpa Jimi was adjusting the stagger on his car?”
“Yeah,” his brow furrowed together while he listened intently. His head tipped to one side slightly contemplating everything I’d just told him.
“At Knoxville they’re known for a dryer slick track meaning you don’t need as much stagger as you’d need at Elma or Cottage Grove where the clay is thicker and resembles almost a mud consistency.”
Once we made it back to the house for the birthday party, Axel had asked every question he could think of when it came to stagger and ruts.
I remember being the exact same way. At his age, I dreamed of racing non-stop so I understood.
“How’d it go?” Sway asked once she found me in the family room of our Summit Lake home.
We offered to hold the party here since Charlie’s old house that Andrea and Van were living in was nowhere near big enough for our expanding families.
Wrapping my arms around her swollen belly, I breathed in a deep breath. I enjoyed the time away from racing during the winter months for moments just like this, knowing I’d be able to wake up beside my wife and not have to leave for another track. Instead, tomorrow we’d be going on a small vacation, just the two of us.
“It went good,” I finally answered when she slapped my hand that I had placed on her ass away.
“Behave.” She told me tapping her index finger to my nose. “We have kids and people everywhere.”
“There are kids and people everywhere.” I had to remind her before pulling her into the bathroom just off our kitchen. “That’s never stopped us before.”
“At some point, I’d like to have my body back from having your kids.”
Smirking, I took a firm grasp on her ass. “You’re really to blame for that.”
Her right hand rose quickly and punched my left shoulder, the one I’d just had surgery on a few weeks back when I separated it in a crash at Talladega early in the year.
My brutal glare stopped her before she gave in a muttered a “sorry.” It was still very sore.
“You were saying?”
“Nothing...I wasn’t saying anything. What did you want?”
“You,” I tipped my head toward her.
“No, not happening.” Her eyes widened when I cornered her against the wall. “We have a party going on out there.”
“Like I give a shit about that,” I kissed along her jaw before I slowly swept my tongue along her bare collarbone. Her arms tightened around my neck and I knew I’d won.
Having sex while your wife was eight months pregnant was difficult but in a tiny bathroom it was damn near impossible and Sway was not helping by moaning wildly.
Just at the point where I’d be moaning myself, Aiden knocked on the door.
“Hey Jameson, are you in there?”
Shit, do I lie?
“Uh, yeah dude.” Sway’s horrified eyes met mine frantically. “I’ll be out in just a minute.”
He laughed. I’m sure he knew exactly what was going down in here.
“We need to stop this.” Her attempts at pushing me away ended when my fingers grazed her ignition switch.
“You were saying?” I leaned in to capture her lips with my own.
Her whimper when my tongue entered her mouth confirmed she didn’t want this to end.
“Shut up.” She told me with a scowl. “I was telling you to shut up.”
I reached down to widen her stance against the countertop she has hunched over so I had room to maneuver around the engine I knew so well. My lips moved from hers to graze across her shoulder blades and the nap of her neck where I gently bit. It worked.
“Oh god Jameson!” she screamed.
Hearing the chuckles outside the door from Spencer and Aiden was the last thing I cared about when I let out a groan that could have shook the entire goddamn house.
“Holy shit,” Sway gasped bracing herself against the edge of the sink.
“That’s right.” I nodded haughtily pulling my jeans up.
“Such a jackass,”
“You weren’t saying that a moment ago.” I reached forward drawing her against my chest. “It was something along the lines of “oh Jameson, you fuck so good!” yeah that was exactly what you said.”
“Jesus,” she shook her head, one eyebrow quirked at me. “I didn’t think your head could get any bigger. I was wrong.”
Once outside the bathroom, I had some explaining to do.
“Where’d you go daddy?” Axel asked dragging his little friend Lily around with him.
Lily West was Justin’s daughter who was just a few months shy of Axel’s age. Those two were just like Sway and me growing up, pretty much inseparable.
Still buttoning my jeans since Sway left the goddamn door open while I still wasn’t fully dressed, I answered him. “I had to shower.”
“There no shower in there,”
Shit.
“I just splashed some water over my face.”
He glared in my direction before looking over at Sway. He was more perceptive than I give him credit for.
“Sure dad.”
Dumbfounded that my 4-year old son realized what his mom and I were doing in the bathroom, I slipped back into the kitchen to give Sway shit for leaving the door open to find her crying in the kitchen.
“Honey, what’s wrong.”
She turned to face me, smashing her face in my chest. Her hands grasped at my shirt.
“I’m sorry...I don’t want this baby to be born yet.”
“It won’t,” we still didn’t know the sex of the baby. Just as Arie had done, this new little one refused to cooperate with us during ultrasounds so it was a mystery as to what the addition to the brood would be. “You
still have another month to go.”
The baby wasn’t due until the beginning of February. We had time to get Sway used to the idea of giving birth again. It didn’t dawn on me that her water had broken right there until I noticed we were standing in it.
Sway looked down and started crying harder.
“I can’t...I don’t want to do this again.”
She hated giving birth but once it was over, she was ready for more.
“It’s all right honey. We’ve done this two other times.” I soothed gently stroking her back. “You’ll do fine.”
“No, I won’t.” she shook her head. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not shooting kids out your crankcase!”
“Well I should hope not.”
Her expression turned furious. “Jameson?”
“Yes,” I smiled trying to coax her into laughing.
“Shut the fuck up and take me to the hospital!”
A few things happened in the matter of four hours. Sway screamed loud enough that I was sure my eardrum had ruptured. Axel and Arie were awarded blizzards for helping me control their hysterical mother and I got a speeding ticket.
Much to Sway’s surprise, and the cop who tried to pull me over, I didn’t stop and now had three local police cars and a county sheriff following me to Saint Peter’s hospital in Olympia.
“Daddy tobble,” Arie giggled when I pulled her out of her seat to give the kids to my mom before I was arrested for resisting arrest.
Another four hours later and I was heading back to the hospital when Aiden caught me in the hall.
“Dude, get in there.” he motioned toward the door to Sway’s room. “She’s having the baby right now!”
When I entered the room, Sway was doubled-over, screaming in pain.
“What’s wrong? Should she be in this much pain?” I panicked when I looked into her eyes and saw fear. This was beyond the normal childbirth pain, something else was wrong with her.
Dr. Sears stepped in front of me before I could reach her. His hands came up in capitulation when he took in my impious glare.
“Everything is fine, Jameson.” His voice was urgent. “We just need to take Sway for a cesarean. The baby is wrapped around the cord and I can’t get him out naturally.”
I nodded and reached for Sway who was limp against the bed, exhausted by hours of pushing.
“Honey, are you okay?”
“The baby...” was all she managed to say before crying out in pain again. I felt the punch to my gut hearing her cry out in pain, pain I couldn’t take away.
The doctors worked quickly; not as quickly as I would have liked them too but eventually she was wheeled into an operating room where I was forced to stand in the hall until I barreled through the doors with two security guards on either side of me.
Dr. Sears shook his head. “I’m amazed you stayed out this long.”
Disregarding his comment, I headed straight for Sway. “Jameson?” she looked over toward the door and our eyes met. Hers were laced with tears, confusion and concern, as were mine. “Is he okay?”
My eyes darted around the room looking for the baby. They focused on the small infant struggling to breathe on his own while doctors assisted him. He was blue and motionless.
Immediately I was beside Sway, reassuring her everything was fine and praying I was right.
“He’ll be fine honey.” I choked out when I didn’t hear any sounds coming from him.
“Jameson, don’t lie to me...I don’t’ hear anything.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks. “I don’t know. I don’t know if he’s okay.” I finally told her.
How could I tell my wife, who she had carried our child for the last nine months that he wasn’t breathing and might not make it?
I couldn’t was the answer.
It was only another few seconds before we heard the scream.
“Oh thank god,” Sway breathed into my cheek I had resting against hers. “Go check on him. Please...tell me if he’s okay.”
I could still hear his faint cries when the nurse appeared beside me.
“See for yourself, Sway.” She said showing him to Sway.
Looking at him, it was as though we were looking at an infant version of Axel again.
“He looks just like Axel did.” Sway said peeking over at him in amazement.
“He does.” I agreed taking him gently from the nurse. “He’s beautiful.” My eyes focused on Sway. I smiled when she smiled at me. “We made some cute kids.”
“I was wrong...your head can get bigger.”
Later that evening, the kids returned to see the new addition.
“What his name?” Axel asked holding his newborn brother later that night. “He cute,”
Sway and I exchanged a quick glance before I nodded and winked at her. “What should we name him buddy? Mom and I thought you and Arie could help us.”
Arie, who’d been squirming around in my arms, finally relaxed enough that she’d fallen asleep. I shifted her weight to adjust my hold on her prone sleeping position.
“Re-re sleeping,” He told me. “How we name him then?”
“How about you name him?” Sway suggested. “Arie would call him “no” if she got to name him.”
It was true. My little rusty haired angel replied to most everything with “no” or “daddy”. She thought I was the best thing in the world, besides apple juice of course.
Axel, still holding his baby brother stared at him for a good three minutes before looking up at us.
“How about Stagger?”
Sway looked over at me for assistance. She has a hard time telling the kids no. She once brought home a monkey from the zoo because the kids pressured her enough that she caved and purchased it. I didn’t even know you could purchase a monkey from the zoo but apparently with enough persuasion from a four-year old and a frantic mother, they offered up the monkey.
The monkey Axel named “Mr. Pooter” was adopted by Spencer and Alley a week later when he felt the need to wear Sway’s underwear around our house.
“I don’t think Stagger would be a good one. What about something a little more modern?”
“Modern?” He looked down at the baby again. “How ‘bout Casten?”
I smiled, as did Sway.
My grandpa Casten had passed away this past summer of a stroke. It was hard on our entire family, which I knew didn’t go unnoticed by Axel.
“I think Casten is a great name for him.” Sway said reaching for the baby Axel handed her. The baby whimpered the way Axel and Arie both did when they were newborns. “Casten Anthony?” Sway smiled over at me.
Nodding in approval, I laid Arie beside Sway and then picked up Axel.
“Why don’t we go get mama some ice cream?”
“You read my mind.” He said nodding readily. “I was just thinking that she need owc cleam.”
Once in the cafeteria he confessed what I expected he would.
“Daddy,” he began with the serious intense stare he had when he wanted to get his point across. I had the same look so I knew this was important to him. “Are you...I still your little buddy?”
I stopped walking.
“Of course you are,” I knelt down to his level forcing him to look at me. “What would make you think you’re not?”
He was silent for a moment before his nervous expression met mine. “You have another boy now.”
Instantly, I scooped him into my arms.
“You’re always going to be my little buddy, no matter what. Even if Mama and I had another ten boys...you,” I pointed to him. “are always going to be my little buddy. Do you know why?”
“Because I race?” he offered.
“No,” I smiled softly. “You and I share something, just us. We understand each other,” I tapped the side of my head. “and we have a special bond buddy.” I wasn’t sure what else to say to him to convince him that I had a special bond with him. I loved all my kids the same but you have different bonds with each one. A
xel and I, well we thought the same, acted the same and looked identical. I’d always relate better to him for those reasons. Axel also held a special place in my heart that reminded me of Sway and how we got together in the first place. Something that was complicated as hell resulted in something beautiful, Axel Charles.
Eventually we made our way back to Sway’s room where Axel climbed into the hospital bed with Sway. She wrapped her arms around all three of our kids.
Later that night after Aiden and Emma had taken Arie and Axel for the night, Sway and I laid in bed with our newest addition.
“I can’t believe how much he resembles Axel.” Sway said softly, her head rested against my chest.
“I know, it’s really weird,”
It was weird. They could have been twins. Arie looked a lot like Axel and now Casten as well but she resembled Sway more with her wide green eyes and heart shaped face whereas the boys were a mirrored image of me.
“I love you,” I told her pulling her closer to my chest without hurting her.
“You better but I think I’m done popping out your kids for a while.”
“I think three is enough.”
She was quiet for another few moments before she said the words I expected to hear.
“I wish Charlie could have been here.”
“I know honey, I’m very sorry.” I murmured kissing her forehead and then Casten’s.
Losing Charlie never got easier for Sway and it was part of the reason we now lived in North Carolina. Being in Elma reminded her of Charlie too much. But the thing about Elma was it always brought up back to where we truly felt like a family.
15. Pit Board - Jameson
Pit Board – A board used by the crew to inform drivers of lap times, lap until pit and other various information. The board is used along with team radios to keep in constant communication.
Taking care of Axel and Arie for a few weeks after Sway’s C-section was a lot of fucking work. I never realized how much energy those two had until I was alone with them. It wasn’t so bad when I just had one, but both of them together—I couldn’t understand how in the hell Sway did this every day.
