The Lost Tayamu

by Ben Cass

  “Okay. Night, Doyle. Night, Theonus!” she called into the barn.

  “Good night, chicken nugget,” Doyle replied, grinning.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Jen slid the large barn door open, balancing the blankets and pillows she carried. She slipped through the opening and pulled the door shut.

  Turning around, she saw Theonus settling down at the other end of the barn. Jen started walking towards him, figuring Doyle was over there somewhere.

  He was; she spotted Doyle standing by a regular-sized door she hadn’t noticed from the outside, his arm resting against the frame, his gaze aimed through the small window in the door. She wondered what he was looking at, but then thought he was probably just deep in thought about something.

  As she got closer, he turned his head and looked at her, a smile creasing his face.

  “What’s all this?” he asked, coming forward to take the pile of bedding from her. She flexed her arms, rubbing her elbow.

  “I thought you might like a blanket to lie on and one to help keep you warm. I know I’ll need them.” She smiled sweetly at him. “Unless you object to my sleeping out here with you.”

  Doyle looked uncomfortable, running his fingers through his hair, opening and then closing his mouth. “Well, I...”

  Jen laid a finger against his lips. “I just mean sleep, Doyle. That’s it. I didn’t want you out here by yourself—no offense, Theonus—and, truth be told, I...I just want to be with you,” she finished in a rush.

  Doyle considered this for a moment, and then swept his arm grandly in a circle. “Well, then, my palace is yours, my lady. You’ve already seen the grand foyer, the bathroom is off to your right, and the movie theater is on the second floor.”

  Jen laughed until she saw a small room to her right, with a toilet, sink, and shower inside. Her eyebrows went up; there really was a bathroom in here! She fought the urge to look up to see if there was a second floor with a home theater.

  Doyle led her over to Theonus, who was sprawled out in a huge pile of hay. Laying on his stomach, his great bulk took up a lot of space. Jen thought it was a good thing the barn was so large, since Theonus easily made it look small. All told, he was taking up probably a third of the barn’s length, and almost its entire width.

  Doyle spread a blanket on the hay in between Theonus’s front legs, which were sticking out from under him. Doyle propped the pillows against one of them and then sat, pulling Jen down with him. He gave her the inside position, so she was nestled against the Wiler.

  “Maybe I should get the other blanket,” she said, but Doyle shook his head.

  He reached over and patted Theonus’s chest. The Wiler’s neck and head descended, coming to rest across them diagonally, but not quite touching them. His neck wasn’t far away from their bodies, and the heat from Theonus’s body was much warmer than any blanket. She snuggled into Doyle’s chest, gently resting her hand on his stomach. His left arm wrapped itself around her shoulders, supporting her.

  Theonus’s steady breathing had an almost hypnotic quality to it. Jen felt more relaxed than she would have in a bed. No wonder Doyle didn’t seem to mind sleeping in the barn. She idly wondered if Wilers gave off some kind of scent that relaxed people while they slept. The lights in the barn turned off. Jen didn’t see how, nor did she care at the moment. The moonlight shone in through some windows, providing just enough illumination to see by. A gentle rain started up outside, and the patter of the raindrops on the metal roof provided a soothing rhythm.

  Jen snuggled into Doyle’s chest, enjoying the feel of his skin against her face. She tried to stay awake, hoping to savor the moment, but exhaustion settled in and she dozed off.

  THE dream, when it came, confused her. Jen walked somewhere, someplace at the same time familiar and mysterious. She seemed to be moving slowly, as often happens in dreams. A young man walked past her; she caught a glimpse of him and started. It was the young man whose face she kept seeing every time she kissed Doyle. She’d seen it again earlier, but had ignored it, so caught up in the moment she hadn’t cared.

  He took no notice of her, and just continued on. Occasionally, he glanced around nervously, as though he expected to be caught doing something wrong. Jen guessed him to be around fifteen or sixteen.

  The boy slipped into the copse of trees to her right, stepping carefully around small patches of bright purple flowers. Jen followed, still moving in the agonizingly slow manner of dreams. She went through the trees, noticing they seemed familiar to her. Something from her childhood, perhaps? She spotted the boy up ahead, bouncing back and forth on his heels. Jen came closer, trying to speak to him, but her voice would not come, nor could she get any closer to him, to her frustration. No matter how many steps she took toward him, he stayed the same distance away.

  A girl, about the same age, came out of the woods behind Jen, walking right past her. The girl was wearing a light green dress, which hugged her figure. Her black hair was held back with a silver clasp. The boy’s face lit up with a beautiful smile, a smile that told the world how he felt about this girl. Jen had seen that smile before, but could not place it. Annoyingly, she couldn’t see the girl’s face, as the dream was keeping Jen’s view fully on the young man. Finally, the boy spoke.

  “Were you followed here?” he asked. His voice sounded weird to Jen, like she was underwater, but it also sounded very familiar. The girl shook her head.

  “No. Coll arranged everything. My uncle thinks I’m taking care of some personal matters.” Her tone filled with scorn. “If he knew I was courting you...”

  “But he doesn’t. So there’s no need to worry.” The boy took her hands in his own. He was quite tall and fairly muscular for his age. He looked into her eyes, his face filled with affection. “First things first.” He leaned down and kissed her deeply.

  When they pulled apart, the girl sighed happily. “I needed that, Ali.” The name set off bells in Jen’s mind, but she couldn’t place it. “I just worry my uncle will find out and bring misery to your family. He wouldn’t dare attack you, of course; not directly, at least. He has heard the talk about you.”

  “I need to tell you something. If I don’t, I feel like I will burst.”

  “So tell me.” The girl moved forward, further thwarting Jen’s attempts to see her face. She felt like she should know this girl, and if she could only see her, everything would become clear. Frustration mounted as Jen kept trying to move to where she could have a better vantage point. Still the dream persisted in forcing her to focus solely on the boy.

  “I love you.” It was simply said, but very sincere. The boy, Ali, smiled again. “I can’t imagine my life without you. I want us to be together forever.” He leaned down and kissed her again, but this time, she seemed hesitant to return it. Jen slogged forward, still trying to get a better view.

  The girl stepped back, Ali’s hand falling out of hers. He looked puzzled. “What’s wrong?” She shook her head, wiping tears off her cheeks. She turned away from him and Jen finally saw her face.

  The shock of recognition felt like a physical slap to the face. The girl looked like Jen had as a teenager, twelve years ago. The same green eyes, the same black hair, even the same lips.

  “Oh, god,” Jen said aloud, staggering back and clutching her chest. “She is me.” She watched, her stomach churning like she was riding a roller coaster, as the girl ran away crying. Ali started after her, but stopped after a few steps, confused.

  “What is it?” he called anxiously. “Jeniah, what’s wrong?”

  Jen looked at him, trying to figure out who he was. Realization dawned a moment later, shocking her. Her head spun, making her feel dizzy and sick. The girl. The boy.

  Jeniah.

  Jen.

  Ali.

  Alistair.

  DOYLE!

  She woke, yelling at the top of her lungs, screaming she was sorry, that she didn’t mean it. Jen bolted upright, narrowly missing smacking her forehead against Theonus’s neck, wh
ich somehow moved out of the way in time. Doyle rolled, springing to his feet. He glanced around the building, scanning the area quickly. He looked ready for a fight.

  “What is it?” Doyle asked. “Jen, what’s wrong?” Jen stared at him in rapidly-dawning horror. The voice was virtually the same, the words nearly identical. He had been the boy in the dream, she had been the girl. The girl who had run off after he had confessed his love.

  The girl who broke his heart!

  “It’s me,” she said, her eyes starting to fill up with tears. “It’s you. How could I...? What was I....?” She trailed off, her voice choking up.

  Doyle relaxed slightly, still looking confused. “Ooooookay,” he said slowly. “I’m me and you’re you. I’m with you up to that point.” The lights in the barn flicked on; she’d seen Theonus reach out with his rear leg and hit something on the wall, never moving any other part of his body.

  Jen stood up slowly, her eyes never leaving him. “The girl you loved, who left you...what did she look like?”

  “I’ve always been told it’s never wise to discuss ex-loves with a potential girlfriend,” Doyle replied slowly.

  “She wore a green dress, with a silver clasp in her hair. The day she left you! In the forest!” Jen knew she was babbling, but Doyle caught the words. His confused look melted away.

  “Yes,” he said cautiously.

  Jen swallowed and took a deep breath, slowly releasing it through pursed lips. “Jeniah. Her name was Jeniah.”

  His expression was carefully guarded, but she caught a glimpse of barely-restrained hope in his eyes, and noticed a mounting tension in his body language. He seemed ready to explode, his muscles quivering with anticipation, but all he calmly said was, again, “Yes.”

  Jen swallowed hard while images raced around in her head, images she had not seen in the dream. She grabbed her head, trying to cope with the rush. Running through the forest, the branches slapping at her face, tearing at her dress. Stumbling over logs, tripping on vines. Thorny branches scratching her skin, drawing blood. Tears obscuring her vision, while only one thought dominated her mind: sheer panic. She remembered somebody shoving her, then falling down and hitting a rock with her temple.

  Her brain swam with dizziness, and acid churned her stomach, making her slightly nauseous. She shook her head, moaning with pain.

  “Jen!” Doyle gripped and lightly shook her, the worry in his voice slicing through the fog in her brain.

  She snapped out of her reverie, rubbing her eyes. In that instant, she saw the boy from her dream overlaid onto Doyle’s face. Though the age difference was apparent, and the scar a new addition, they were now obviously the same person. Memories continued popping into her head, filling some of the gaps that had been there for so long. The two faces merged into one, her past and present loves finally joining together again.

  “Ali,” she whispered. Doyle froze, looking as stunned as his younger self had in the dream. “Ali, is it really you?” She reached up and rested her hand on his cheek, gently stroking his face. “Ali...oh, my love, by the All, what did I do to you?” The tears came again. Doyle hesitated an instant longer and then caught her in a crushing hug.

  “No, Jeniah, you did nothing,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m to blame.”

  They stayed that way for a short while before Theonus suddenly sprang to his feet, fur bristling and growling protectively. Doyle spun around, pushing Jen behind him. The smaller side door, which was right behind them, burst open, and Jerry stepped into the barn, breathing heavily; he had obviously come running from the house. He held a baseball bat in his hand, while Kira and Ellie stood behind him, looking anxiously over his shoulder. Jerry had an arm out, holding them back. “Ellie said she heard somebody screaming. What’s wrong?” he asked.

  Kira looked from Jen to Doyle, and her face lit with joy when Doyle nodded. “Finally!” she breathed, and quickly pushed past her husband, closely followed by Ellie. Theonus let them approach, although he still watched protectively. Doyle deftly moved aside, and Kira gathered Jen into her arms, hugging her tightly.

  “Welcome back, my beloved Jeniah,” she murmured. “We missed you.”

  “We?” asked Jen, confused. Kira blinked once, looking puzzled, and then smiled.

  “Alistair and I, of course. Did you think I could ever forget my closest friend?”

  Ellie stared at the two of them, trying to piece everything together.

  “Welcome back? Hold on...” Ellie swung around, glancing at Doyle, talking quickly and making the connections. “You’re happy, she looks shocked....sweet Jeniah...you both missed her....pink pigs on a falafel!” She slapped her hands to her cheeks, eyes wide. “It’s her! She’s the one!” Ellie’s jaw fell. “Holy shit!”

  “Did I miss something?” Jerry asked, his eyebrow up.

  Ellie pointed at Jen, who was once again holding Doyle’s hand. “Jen! Doyle’s old girlfriend! The one who did something to mess him up and make him not want to love ever again!” She spun to face Jen. “Hold on...what in the hell did you do to that man?”

  “I made the biggest mistake of my life,” Jen answered. “It appears the All has given me a chance to make up for it.”

  “The All?” Ellie repeated. “What’s the All?”

  “It is time for us to leave,” Kira said suddenly. “There is much to be discussed, but we need not be privy to the conversation.”

  Ellie shook her head. “The hell we don’t,” she retorted. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Kira narrowed her eyes at Ellie. “Excuse me?” she said coolly.

  “Ellie, hon, Kira is right,” Jen said regretfully. “There are a lot of things I need to say to Ali, but I’m not ready for others to hear them yet. I’ve got a lot to process.”

  Ellie growled under her breath, and then pointed at Jen. “I will come bother you later. I hope you know that,” she said firmly.

  Jen nodded. “I do.”

  “I would bid you a good sleep, but that would be an exercise in futility, I think,” Kira said.

  She led Ellie away, Jerry walking behind them. The trio exited the barn, Jerry pulling the doors closed behind them. Theonus settled down again, and within seconds, was sleeping again, as if determined to prove Kira wrong. Doyle glanced at him and shook his head.

  “I have never understood how they can just fall asleep instantly after they’ve been woken up.” He looked back at Jen. “I guess we do have a lot to talk about, huh?”

  “I guess so,” she said, wiping the last remnants of tears away. “Although this does explain a lot of things.” She looked at Theonus. “Like why I was able to adjust to him, and to you, so quickly. I’ve probably seen Wilers and Tayamu before, haven’t I?”

  Doyle sighed, a slow and heavy sound, looking more troubled than Jen would have liked. He ran both hands backwards through his hair.

  “Damn.” There was a great deal of disappointment packed into one drawn-out word. “Damn, damn, damn. You don’t remember everything, do you?” He went around Theonus and grabbed some crates, lifting from the bottom. Carrying them back around the sleeping beast, pausing to shake his head at the furry bulk, he set them on the ground and then covered them with the blanket Jen had brought out. He sat down and patted the crate next to him. Jen needed no further invitation. She stepped over and snuggled in next to him, her hand entwined in his.

  “No, I don’t,” she admitted.

  He reached out and gently stroked her face with a finger. “Do you remember your family? How we met? The time you spent with my sister?”

  She thought about it, and then shook her head in frustration. “No. I don’t remember my real parents at all, nor why I was so worried about my uncle finding out about us. I can’t remember my uncle, for that matter.” She chewed her lip. “What happened to my real parents? Where were they? Was I just staying with him?” Doyle didn’t answer. “Doyle...Ali...I don’t even know what to call you anymore!”

  He managed a slight grin. “Whatever sounds best
to you. As for where your parents were...that’s one of those secrets I mentioned earlier, I fear. I think you should remember on your own. I had hoped it would come back to you, but that obviously didn’t happen. Perhaps it will soon.” His voice was regretful, but firm.

  “Ali!” She glared at him angrily.

  He squeezed her hand. “It’s all for the best, Jen. Think about it...if I had told you that you were my long-lost girlfriend from a different dimension of reality, would you have believed me?”

  Jen thought about it and then shook her head, realizing he was right. “I would have called the loony bin on you.”

  “Exactly. It’s better you were able to remember on your own. Yes, I could tell you what happened, could tell you about your uncle, but I’d hate to possibly skew the truth with my own views, which might not necessarily be the way it happened. I wish I was sure so I could tell you, but I don’t have all the information, and it’s not fair to you to give you something that might be, at best, partially true, or at worst, completely wrong.”

  “You’re right,” Jen conceded. “I just don’t like it.”

  “Neither do I. Hopefully in time, I can help you fill in the blanks yourself. At least we have some memories we can talk about.”

  “Like why I ran away from you?” she suggested, her voice gentle. Doyle shrugged.

  “That’s not really important anymore. You know my point of view.”

  “I do....and like it or not, it is absolutely skewed, and not in any sort of acceptable way.” Jen sandwiched his hand in between both of hers. “Yes, you scared the bejesus out of me by telling me what you did.” She looked embarrassed. “Do you remember what I told you the other day, when we were sitting on Amore Rock?”

  Doyle scrunched up his face in thought. “You said the girl had been immature, running away from her problems instead of facing them.”

  “And that was a mistake. I never should have run from you.” Jen released his hand and stood, pacing back and forth. The recollections were stronger now, and she could remember more and more each minute. Walking along streams with Doyle, stealing kisses in the woods, even her personal bodyguard, Coll, with his barrel chest and growly voice, helping keep her relationship a secret.