Southern Fortunes (Sweet Tea Witch Mysteries Book 10)

by Amy Boyles

“Ugh. I have to eat that?”

  Betty grinned like the Cheshire cat. “Yep. You eat a pinch, and when the magic is rolling around in your stomach, you command the other person to change their mind. To do something else. It only works once, and you’ve got to be quick and sure. But it works.”

  “If you say so.” I was pretty unimpressed. I mean, it was only a bit of tobacco that you ate and probably vomited up later. Not exactly what I considered high-class spell work.

  Betty snapped her fingers, and two smaller pouches appeared in front of us. “For y’all. Take those and use them wisely. Remember, only once a year. She wagged her finger. “And both of y’all promised not to use it on me.”

  “Paranoid, much?” Amelia mumbled.

  “I heard that.” Betty fisted her hands to her hips. “Now y’all get out of here.”

  I went to my room, where I found Mattie the Cat and Hugo lounging. I toed off my shoes and sank onto the bed.

  “Rough day, sugar?” Mattie bounded from the window and hopped onto the mattress.

  “A lot happened today. A witch was murdered, and I’m afraid an innocent man may end up accused.”

  The feline kneaded her claws in the comforter. “When has that ever happened?”

  I shot her a skeptical look. “Never, right.”

  “Well, sugar, all you can do is what you can do.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means what it means. I suggest you get some rest. This will work its way out.”

  “I hope so,” I mumbled.

  “It will. You’ll see.”

  The next day was supposed to be my last at the school. Relief was so tangible I swear it pricked my skin.

  I’d just entered the foyer when I encountered Saltz Swift.

  “Miss Dunn,” he cooed.

  “Hello, Mr. Swift.”

  He eyed Hugo. Yes, I’d brought the dragon to school with me.

  “Do you really think it’s wise to bring a dragon?”

  I glanced down at the face that was more innocent puppy than ferocious dragon. At least it was to me.

  “Hugo is well trained. He’s still young and won’t hurt anyone.”

  “If you say so.” He sniffed. “I assume you heard about Miss Unk.”

  “Beverly?” I said.

  “Yes, that’s her. When you’ve finished your class, could you see me in my office?”

  Not really. I was ready to be gone from the school. But Saltz had been nothing but kind to me. “Sure.”

  “Have a great final lecture.”

  The lecture itself went okay. Prissy and the third minion, Valerie, did give me some grief, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as when Beverly pushed and poked me every five seconds.

  I did a wrap-up of what we had learned and demonstrated for the class what magic was like when you used your familiar to assist. I introduced them to Hugo, and we worked a few simple spells. The kids oohed and ahhed. By the end of the class I felt a sense of fulfillment, as if I’d done something good for the students.

  I gave a few of them hugs, including Hatcher, and left to speak with Saltz.

  “Enter.”

  I pushed open the door to his office and stepped in with Hugo at my heels. Saltz reclined behind his desk, fingers steepled under his chin. The potion master rose when he saw me.

  “Please sit, Miss Dunn.”

  “Thank you.”

  He regarded me for a moment before speaking. It was unnerving having Saltz stare at me as if I was supposed to begin the conversation when he’d invited me.

  “I hope you’ve enjoyed your time at the school.”

  “I have. It’s been a great opportunity. I appreciate you offering it to me.”

  “You’re very welcome. Now Miss Dunn, I understand you were a witness when Miss Unk was murdered yesterday.”

  “Um.” I hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn of events. “Yes, I was there.”

  “I’m sorry you had to see such a tragic event. And I understand Miss Unk had threatened you.”

  I glanced to the floor. I really hadn’t wanted to enter this conversation. “Yes, she did,” I said quietly. “She tried to blow divination powder into my face.”

  “I understand Rufus Mayes stopped her.”

  I paused and stared at Saltz. Was this why he’d called me here? To ask about Rufus?

  “Yes, Rufus stopped her in order to help me.”

  Saltz pressed the tips of his fingers together. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but Mr. Mayes was recently hired by the school.”

  “I am. I’ve seen him here.”

  “He has a—how should I put it?” Saltz’s gaze bobbed around the room. “Rufus Mayes has a reputation.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “We’ve hired him to teach charms and wards, but with all this mess about someone possibly murdering Miss Unk and all the suspicion on him, I don’t know if Rufus is right for the school.”

  Why was Saltz talking to me about this? I had nothing to do with Rufus Mayes and his teaching contract.

  “I was wondering if you would consider teaching on more of a regular basis.”

  Ah, so that’s what this was about. Me taking Rufus’s spot.

  “I don’t know if you realize it, Mr. Swift, but Rufus Mayes is somewhat of a friend of mine. I can vouch for him and say he had nothing to do with Beverly’s murder. And to be quite honest, I’m surprised you’d consider getting rid of him when Beverly was a horrible person and she was employed by you. The woman threatened me. She made my classroom horrible by suggesting I didn’t know what I was doing and by dismissing what I said at every turn.”

  Saltz eyed me coolly. “Are you telling me you think Rufus Mayes is better suited to teach here than Beverly was?”

  “Yes,” burst from me before I could stop it. “He is. Beverly Unk was a bully and less a role model for the children than Rufus Mayes.”

  He leaned forward with such interest you’d have thought I’d just shared the secret of life with him. “And that’s your honest opinion.”

  “Yes, sir, it is. Someone killed Beverly Unk, but it wasn’t Rufus Mayes.”

  Saltz yanked down his suit jacket. “I must say you intrigue me, Miss Dunn. You remain so cool and calm, even going so far as to defend a man who has wanted to cause you harm in the past.”

  “The past defines a person as much as they repeat the mistakes they made from it,” I said. “Rufus Mayes wants a new chance at life. I say we give it to him.”

  His mouth curved into a slow smile. “Very well. But there is another reason I called you here.” Saltz unfurled a cloth draped over a birdcage.

  Behind the silver bars lay a creature tucked into a ball. I recoiled when I realized what it was.

  “That’s Beverly Unk’s familiar.”

  “Yes. It was left in her rooms with her things. No one here at the school is able to take care of it, so I’m giving it to you.”

  I shot him an incredulous look. “And what am I supposed to do with it?”

  He shrugged. “Sell it, I suppose. I don’t know. It isn’t my problem. I’m giving the snake to you to do with as you please.”

  “But I—”

  “No need to thank me.”

  “I wasn’t.”

  I had the feeling the look of surprise on Saltz’s face was priceless. If only I’d known him well enough to be sure of that.

  “Mr. Swift, I don’t have room for the snake. Regardless of the fact that the reptile belonged to Beverly and was already her familiar, I simply can’t take it. I’m sure you know it can be very difficult to transfer someone’s familiar to another witch.”

  “It isn’t impossible,” he argued.

  “Maybe not, but it’s not easy.” I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the growing frustration. “I’ve managed to match familiars that had lost their witches, but they were mammals. I’ve never managed it with a reptile.”

  “Have you ever tried?”

  That was beside the point, I wa
nted to say. But Saltz had been kind enough to offer the teaching opportunity, and I didn’t want to spit in his face. Besides, it was easier to keep friends than make enemies—or so I had thought until I met Beverly.

  I sighed harder than a pig when easing into a mudhole. “I suppose I can take the snake.”

  Saltz clapped his hands. “Splendid. You’re doing us a great favor.”

  “If,” I added loudly.

  He quirked a brow. “If what?”

  “There’s a young boy named Hatcher in class. He matched with a kitten.”

  Saltz’s jaw tightened. “I’m aware of young Hatcher.”

  “Can he keep it?”

  “Having animals in the dormitories is expressly forbidden.”

  “But it’s a familiar and he’s a young wizard. Surely some witches are allowed to have familiars. I’ll take the reptile if he can have his kitten.”

  “I can’t break the rules for one child.”

  I narrowed my eyes.

  “However,” Saltz added, “we might be able to make some sort of arrangement. From what I understand, the kitchen may need a new cat to keep the mice away.”

  “Why don’t you just use magic?” I mean, this was a school full of witches; why would they need a cat to keep mice away when they could simply spell them?

  “Sometimes,” Saltz said with a smile on his face, “the simplest remedies are the best.”

  “So the school will keep the kitten for the boy?”

  Saltz nodded. “And you will take the snake?”

  My insides knotted into tiny pretzels that would never unknot. I was sure of it. I swallowed down a surge of bile that threatened to edge its way out of my mouth and smiled brightly.

  As I coiled my fingers around the cage and stared down at the glittering ebony eyes of the snake, I said, “Well, of course. I’d be happy to take him off your hands.”

  NINE

  I dropped the cage onto the counter at Burt’s Magical Elements.

  “What’s this?” His eyes widened. “Oh no, don’t tell me. That’s not Beverly Unk’s familiar.”

  “Oh yes,” I said bitterly. “That’s her familiar.”

  Deidre Tipple wove her way around Burt. She blinked at the coiled creature. “What are you doing with it?”

  I gestured in frustration at the serpent. “Saltz made me take it. He thinks since I own the only familiar store in town that naturally I’m an expert on all things reptile and will be able to match this little cuddly creature with a new witch lickety-split.”

  Burt’s expression darkened. “He’s certainly ambitious.”

  “But,” I said quickly, “the reason why I brought the creature here is to see if it could help us.”

  “Unless it knows who killed Beverly, I don’t see how it can.” Burt shook his head.

  I squeezed his shoulder. “I heard that there’s been some pressure on you.”

  “Oh, no pressure,” he said bitterly. “Only that Garrick Young has spoken to me three times since Beverly was poisoned with her own divination dust, and I’ve been asked how I handle the stuff. Repeatedly.”

  His shoulders sagged. Deidre and I exchanged a look. My heart lurched. I didn’t know Burt well, but I knew he hadn’t murdered Beverly. Which was why I had shown up.

  To help.

  I presented the snake as if it were a prize on a game show. “I thought if any creature could help us, it would be Beverly’s familiar.”

  Deidre blanched. “Do you really think it can?” She quickly added, “Because it’s a snake, after all. How intelligent can it be?”

  I can be very intelligent, the snake said in my head.

  I nearly fist pumped the air. “Bingo! He talks.”

  “Move over, sister,” Burt said to Deidre. “We need that snake to tell us everything it knows about who hated Beverly and would’ve wanted her dead.”

  So many were jealousss, the snake hissed.

  “Jealousy.” My eyes widened. “That’s what he says.”

  Burt grabbed a pad of paper and a pen. “Let’s hear names.”

  Deidre patted his shoulder. “As much as I’d love to stay, I have some work to do.”

  Burt dragged his gaze from the snake and hugged his friend. “How’s the book?”

  Deidre wrapped a scarf around her neck. “It’s…interesting. Thank you for ordering it.”

  “What is it?” I said.

  “It’s an old genealogy book written by one of the first witches to settle in the area.”

  “Awfully big for genealogy,” Burt said.

  “It wasn’t just that. There’s old potions and spells in it, too.” She tugged on a pair of gloves. “But anyway, I’ve got some work to do. Let me know if the snake tells you something important.”

  “Will do.” Burt blew her an air kiss. “Kisses, darling.”

  Deidre blew one in return and left. Burt rubbed his hands. “Now. Let’s learn some of the nitty-gritty.” He clasped a hand around my forearm. “You realize everything Beverly might’ve been hiding is in this familiar. I’ll do anything for its help. Anything.”

  I unhooked his hand and smiled gently. “Maybe it won’t take that much work.” I cleared my throat and glanced at the snake. “What’s your name?”

  Ssssylvesster.

  “Sylvester? Is that what you said?”

  The snake uncoiled and twisted around a vertical branch. Yesss, it hissed. That’sss right.

  So apparently the whole cliché about snakes talking and elongating their s’s was correct. At least it was for this guy.

  “I’m sorry about your mistress.”

  There will be another. We albino boa constrictors move to another witch easily.

  “What’d he say?” Burt bent until his eyes were level with Sylvester’s.

  “He said he’ll find a new witch quickly.”

  Burt wagged a finger. “Maybe he didn’t like Beverly either.”

  Before I could ask, the snake answered. Animals do not have a say in who we become familiars to. We match with someone, and that is it. Even if we don’t like them.

  I rocked back on my heels. I’d never considered that before. I always assumed when an animal and witch paired, that it was pretty much love. But what if the animal didn’t like the witch? Worse, what if the witch treated the creature badly?

  “She wasn’t nice to you.”

  Beverly wasn’t nice to anyone.

  And now I had the perfect lead-in. “Did she have any enemies? Anyone who would want to kill her?”

  Her friendsss.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What’d he say?” Burt grasped the cage. I thought he might shake the cage to death.

  I placed a hand gently on his. “Calm down.”

  Burt’s face crimsoned. His head sagged. “I’m sorry. It’s just…”

  “I know. It’s okay. Sylvester said that Beverly’s friends should be looked at.”

  Burt grabbed my shoulder. “Heavens to Betsy, honey. Have you seen what’s happened since Beverly bit the dust?”

  Burt’s dramatic tone nearly made me double over in laughter. I bit my lower lip to stop myself. “They’re being nasty.”

  “Prissy's leading Valerie by the nose, practically taking up where Beverly left off. Now it’s only the two of them teaching divination and tarot. From what Deidre told me today, Prissy is forcing Valerie to take a test to prove she’s capable of teaching the subject.”

  “Almost sounds like Prissy couldn’t wait to get rid of Beverly. Beverly never did treat her well.”

  “Those three were like a bad knockoff of Heathers.”

  I laughed at his reference to an eighties movie starring Winona Ryder.

  “But it’s not just them. Rufus Mayes is back.” Burt nudged me. “He threatened Beverly right before it happened. Heck, she attacked you.” Burt studied me. “If you’d poisoned the powder, it would’ve almost been self-defense.”

  I bristled. My face must’ve betrayed what I thought about that, because Burt sho
ok his head. “I’m sorry. Not about Rufus because he’s a wild card, but what I said about you. I know you didn’t do anything to the divination powder. You couldn’t have. You’d just walked in with me.”

  “But Connor had been here.”

  Burt scraped his fingers down his face. “Oh my word. Why didn’t I see it before?”

  “See what?”

  “Connor was here. He could’ve done it. Tampered with the divination powder. But why?”

  I quirked a brow. “That’s what we need to find out.”

  I had dropped Hugo at the house earlier, but no one had been home. Needless to say, when I entered the cottage with a snake, a few hairs were raised.

  Amelia threw up her hands. “Oh my gosh! Is that a snake?”

  So maybe a little more than a few hairs were raised. Amelia’s voice reached such a high pitch I was surprised the roof hadn’t ripped right off.

  “It’s a snake, yes. It was Beverly Unk’s. Saltz Swift made me take it.”

  “Why? So you could scare us to death?” Amelia shrieked.

  “No. So he can find a new witch to be familiar to.”

  Cordelia popped a nut from a candy dish in her mouth. “Don’t you think the police will want to talk to him?”

  “I’ll run him by after…”

  “After what?” Amelia glared at the snake suspiciously. “After it squeezes us to death?”

  I sighed. “His name’s Sylvester, and he does talk.”

  Not to a roomful of women.

  I scoffed.

  “What?” Cordelia said.

  “The snake says he won’t talk to us since we’re women.” I grabbed a handful of nuts and ate them between talking and thinking. “You talked to me in Magical Elements.”

  The wizard.

  And that was all he would say. I clapped my hands. “Okay. Who knows why Beverly Unk might’ve been murdered?” I raised both palms. “Besides the fact that she was purely evil, that is?”

  A gust of wind blew the front door open. It slammed into the wall. Betty appeared, looking the Terminator, ready to annihilate anyone who stepped in her path.

  I rose, afraid that some sort of witch war had broken out. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  Betty staggered in. She walked stiffly, as if a rod was drilled into her back.