REX (Finding Love)

by Beth Michele

  “Sure.” I paint on a smile in response even though disappointment looms over me. There’s something comfortable about having Rex around and I’m not all that anxious for him to go.

  “Maybe we can get together later, though,” he grins, buttoning up his jeans and toeing on his sneakers, “for more death and destruction? I’d say let’s go to a club, but it’s not really my scene.”

  My smile is genuine this time when I answer. “Sure. That sounds good.” I slide my tank over my head. “I’ll walk you out.”

  He gets to the door, pausing with a hand on the knob, turning back around to face me. “So….” He clears his throat as his eyes cast downward, one hand shoved in his pocket. “I’m not great with words, but… well, thanks, for last night… for not turning me away.”

  “Hey.” I lower my head to the side looking for his eyes, and don’t speak until they meet mine. “You’re welcome. I’m glad I was here.”

  Our gazes fall away and he opens the door. “I’ll see you around, Blondie.”

  “Yeah, see ya, Rex.”

  Five minutes later, I’m still standing in the same spot, unmoving. I quickly shake off my untamed thoughts and come back down to earth. The fact that he called me baby while we were having sex means nothing, and the fact that I’m even thinking about it now is utterly ridiculous. I hope he didn’t notice my reaction when he said it, though. I’m sure it was a slip and it doesn’t mean anything.

  So why am I thinking about it?

  I laugh at myself and head over to my purse, digging around for my phone. When I finally find it, I dial Olivia’s cell. She answers on the first ring as if she was expecting my call.

  “Hey,” she says with a pop in her voice, “are we still meeting up this morning?”

  “Hey to you, too, and yes, we are. I just need to hop in the shower.”

  “You haven’t showered yet?” she asks, and there’s a loud rustling in the background.

  “No, I haven’t,” I reply with a grin that she can’t see.

  “You sound awfully happy. My bitch detector isn’t going off. What’s going on?” She laughs, and the sound of her crunching on something vibrates in my ears.

  “Well, if you must know, Rex just left.” I pull a file from my bag, smoothing down one of my nails as the other end of the line goes quiet. “Hello? Liv, you there?”

  “Yes, sorry. I’m standing outside of Adele’s Coffee House and it’s very busy.”

  “All right, well, let me shower and I’ll meet you there in about an hour.” I toss the file back in my bag and make my way toward the bathroom.

  “Actually, meet me at Victoria’s Secret, instead,” she suggests.

  “Victoria’s Secret?” I laugh. “Again?”

  “Again.” She giggles, before we hang up.

  The door jingles as I walk inside the palace of lingerie. It’s been a while since I’ve been in here, but it’s a place that Olivia frequents very often since she started dating Hunter.

  I sneak up behind her as she lifts various bra and panty sets in the air, scrutinizing them. “Are you old enough to be in here?” I ask in a deep voice, and she spins around, startled.

  “Very funny.” She laughs. “Wow, you look great!” She eyes me up and down. “Fresh-faced. Someone had a good morning.”

  “Yeah, I did. But we can talk about that later. So how long should I expect to be in here? Weren’t you just here last week?”

  She lets a pair of underwear drop back into the bin. “Yes, but one can never have too many sets. You never know when they might come in handy. Especially when I visit Hunter’s office tomorrow during lunch.”

  “You’re shameless now,” I tell her, as we get in line for the register. “This is such a different side of you. I really like it, and I really like seeing you this happy.”

  She curls her arm around mine. “Thanks, V. Me, too. Now we need to work on you. Find you a good man that can live up to your expectations.”

  I look away, chewing on my fingernail, a pang of something jabbing at my stomach. Whatever it is, it can’t be good.

  “Oh no,” she tugs on my arm, “please don’t tell me you’re falling for Rex. Listen, I’m not saying he’s not a good guy, but I think he’s got a lot of issues.”

  “Yeah, Liv,” I glare at her, my face pulling tight, “like I don’t.”

  “You know what? You’re right. I need to keep my mouth shut. I just don’t want to see you hurt. I want to see you happy.” She smiles and my bitterness fades away.

  “I know you do.”

  After the sales girl rings up another six pairs of panties to add to Liv’s collection, we stroll out the door, heading into the sunshine.

  “I’m really in the mood for a BLT. Let’s go to the deli around the corner.” I tilt my head back, letting the sun warm my face. “God, I can’t wait until the hot summer kicks in.”

  “Yes, I know how you like it hot, V.”

  From the side I see her smirking. “Yes, hot and hard.”

  We burst out laughing and by the time we traipse into the deli, we still haven’t stopped. Olivia isn’t watching where she’s going and ends up slamming into a wall of muscle, only to look up and see that it’s Hunter.

  “Hey! Fancy meeting you here.” She reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses him.

  “Hi, sweetheart. Hi, Vanessa. I’m actually just on my way to a meeting uptown. Stopped to grab a sandwich.” His eyes drift to the shopping bag and he grins. “Another shopping spree?”

  “Uh huh.” She dangles the bag, giggling like an excited schoolgirl.

  “Hmmm… well, on that enticing note, I hate to leave. I’ll call you later.” He presses his lips to her cheek. “I love you, sweetheart.”

  “Love you, too,” she replies, and he pinches her ass and flips her a wink before he struts out the door.

  I look over in the corner and spot one table for two that’s still available. “I’m going to snag that table, Liv. Just order me the BLT, a side of fries, and an iced coffee.”

  “Fries, too?” She perches a hand on her hip.

  “Yes, I’m feeling depleted. Starving, actually,” I mumble as I walk toward the table. She says something else under her breath that I’m not close enough to hear. I’m sure it has something to do with Rex.

  My phone chimes as I gaze out the window, looking at all the people that make this city I love so unique. I pull it out of my purse and smile when I see it’s a text from Rex.

  We’re on for death and destruction tonight, right? My place, seven?

  He’d probably run in the other direction if he saw my grin.

  Yup. Bring it on.

  I might even stop and get more popcorn. I can’t have you complaining if we run out during the movie. I need to focus on the destruction.

  Oh really, that’s too bad because I’ll be going commando.

  Jesus, I’m hard now.

  Hmmm…

  I close my phone, attempting to wipe the smug smile from my face just as Olivia heads in my direction.

  “Do I want to know?” She places our food on the table, taking the seat beside me.

  “No, you don’t. But,” I wave a finger in the air, “there’s something I want to know.”

  “Oh yeah?” She steals one of my French fries, popping it into her mouth. “What’s that?”

  I narrow my eyes at her and playfully smack her hand. “Paws off my fries. Get your own,” I say, before she grabs one more. “So have you talked to your parents? Or, more importantly, have they recovered from finding out that you’re an erotic romance author and not the VP of a cosmetics firm?”

  She expels a sigh which means it can’t be good. “Oh, that.”

  Leaning back in the chair, my fingers idly wipe the condensation from the side of my cup. “Yeah, now spill.”

  “Well, when I spoke with them the other night, my mother asked if I had been attending church on Sundays, and confession of course to atone for my sins, while my father wanted to know if I was living an honest
life now.” A tiny laugh slips from her mouth and she presses her lips together. “I told them that maybe if they read one of my books they wouldn’t be so uptight. Neither of them thought it was funny. In fact, I think I heard my father spit his coffee out.”

  “Oh my God! I love it. However….” I clear my throat, sitting up straighter in my chair. “If you’d like me to attend church with you, I’d be more than happy to, although I can’t think of anything I need to confess.” My lips turn up as I shove a handful of French fries into my mouth.

  She takes a bite of her sandwich, angling her head to the side thoughtfully. “I’m sure we could come up with something you need to confess.”

  “Nope.” I’m adamant and she laughs, nearly spitting her coffee on the table. “And now you’re starting to spit, just like your father.”

  “Hey, Rex, I’m talking to you. Where the hell did you go?”

  Jaden’s gruff voice pulls me out of my thoughts, dragging me away from staring at Vanessa’s message and back to the next customer at the front desk.

  “Sorry, man, just a lot on my mind.” I stuff the phone in my back pocket, walking with him toward the counter, when he slaps me on the back.

  “A lot of who on your mind?” He chuckles, before trudging out the door of the shop.

  I shake off the runaway train going through my mind and try to focus. Chloe, a girl who came in two weeks ago to consult with me on a tattoo, is here. She said she’d be back when she finally worked up the emotional courage. Four months ago, her boyfriend died tragically in a motorcycle accident, and she wants to pay tribute to him. I’m going to help her do just that.

  “Hey, Chloe,” I greet her, a somber smile on her thin lips.

  “Hi, Rex. Well,” she shrugs, her shoulders dropping on a sigh, “I’m back, and I’m ready.”

  I shoot her a comforting smile, hoping to ease her nerves, to let her know it’s going to be okay. “Come on.”

  She follows me back to my station, taking a seat on the chair. Another sigh leaves her, and it weighs heavily in the air. “So, I’ve decided where I want the tattoo.” She points her index finger to the area on her arm, just beneath her shoulder. “I’d like it to cover this whole spot,” she says, circling the skin.

  “Great,” I tell her, as I prepare the needle and the various inks.

  Chloe is quiet for a bit as I get everything ready, but I know the silence won’t last for long. It never does. But I don’t ever invade a client’s emotional space. I know when they’re ready, they’ll talk. And they always do. Getting a tattoo is like therapy.

  “I don’t want to ever forget him,” she says quietly, as the first prick of the needle hits her skin. She flinches, another minute going by before she speaks again. “I’m not one of those people who takes a lot of pictures, and now I’m wishing that I had. I’m afraid,” she pauses, wetness pooling in the corners of her eyes, “that one day I’ll wake up and I won’t remember his eyes, how blue they were, how full of life they were… and the next day I’ll wake up and I won’t remember his smile. Then the day will come when I’ll wonder if he was ever real. Sooner or later, he’ll just fade away. I don’t ever want him to fade away, you know?” she says, a tear crawling down her cheek.

  I lift the needle off of her skin, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Now he won’t ever be far from your mind, or your sight,” I soothe, and she raises her weepy eyes to meet mine.

  “Yes,” she responds on a soft sob as I reach for a tissue and pass it to her.

  My chest grows heavy, a weight of guilt sitting on top of it. I suddenly can’t remember how many freckles my brother had on his cheek, or the sound of his voice. I breathe out a pained sigh before I go back to helping Chloe heal. That is what’s important right now. Not my bullshit.

  There’s very little conversation after that. Chloe is lost in her thoughts and I’m concentrating on making this the best damn picture she’ll ever have. After a little over two hours, I’m finally finished. She’s had her head turned the entire time, but the moment the buzzing ceases, she shifts my way.

  “All done?”

  “Yup.” I wipe her skin, a prideful smile covering my face. This is a damn good tattoo.

  When her eyes find the tattoo in the mirror, her mouth hangs open, nothing but awe dropping out of it. “It’s… it’s beautiful and perfect. It looks just like him.” Her eyes climb to mine. “Thank you, Rex. It’s not enough, but thank you.” She flings her arms around me without warning and I hug her small frame in return. “You just gave me my memory back,” she whispers, “until I see him again someday.” She backs away and I begin wrapping up her tattoo. “You have a good heart. To be doing this kind of work, you have to have a good heart.”

  “Nah, I don’t have a heart. I’m a bit like the Tin Man.” I chuckle, even though it’s a God damn depressing statement.

  Reaching out her petite hand, she taps on my chest which takes me aback. “You do. You just haven’t found the right person to make it beat hard enough for you to feel it.” She kisses my cheek, then walks to the register without looking back.

  The rest of the day goes by in a blur, burdened by thoughts of my baby brother and Chloe’s words. There’s a mild nagging in my chest. I feel like I need to see Vanessa and have no idea why. It’s fucking with me because I don’t need anyone… because relying on anyone other than myself only leads to disappointment and a false sense of hope.

  Everyone has gone home, so I finish cleaning up my station before locking up the shop and heading to my apartment. On the way, my phone beeps and I yank it out of my pocket to discover a text from Vanessa. I slide the screen open and smile.

  I arrived a bit early for death and destruction, but you’re not here. :(

  Did she seriously just give me a sad face? I type back a quick reply.

  On my way, don’t get your panties in a twist. Oh, that’s right, thank fuck you aren’t wearing any.

  I wait for her response which comes quickly.

  Hmmm… and I’m already wet, too.

  Jesus. I’m running, be there in ten.

  Shoving the phone back in my pocket, I literally start sprinting toward my apartment, knocking over anyone in the way.

  By the time I make it there, I’m slightly out of breath, but nothing that seeing Vanessa won’t cure. There’s something about her that breathes a little bit of life into me, even though I’d never admit that openly. I actually like being around her, and not just for a quick fuck.

  The elevator doors open and the first thing I see when I step off are mile long, smooth legs peeking out from under a skirt so short it should be illegal. Not to mention the snug t-shirt covering her perfect tits. Vanessa has her head angled, leaning against the wall, and she looks sexy as fuck.

  “Hey, Blondie.” I bound toward her, completely invading her personal space. My lips are inches from hers, her breasts flush against my chest.

  “I’m glad to see you,” she murmurs as my hand slides down her spine, past her lower back, reaching under her skirt to cup her ass. The softness of her skin forces my eyes closed as I gently massage it, and then her mouth is on mine, the warmth of it sending a jolt of electricity straight to my core. She moans as her greedy tongue slips between my lips, flirting, until she gently eases out, her sweet breath brushing against me.

  “I like that welcome.” My finger slips past the seam of her ass, grazing her clit, feeling the wetness between her thighs. “I guess you do, too,” I say with a smug grin, and she narrows her thumb and forefinger together.

  “Just a smidgeon.”

  I nod my head toward the door. “Come on. Let’s go choose our path to death and destruction.”

  She flings her heels off the moment we walk inside and jumps on the worn leather sofa. I rub my eyes with my palms, then scrape a hand through my hair.

  “Hey, you all right? You looked wiped out.” She leans forward, curling her legs underneath her.

  “Yeah. Fine. Just a long day. You want a beer?” I ask, al
ready making my way to the fridge.

  “No, I’m good. Thanks,” she answers, but I still feel her eyes on me when I come back out and cross the room.

  “Are you sure you’re—” She starts to say, but stops herself. “Never mind.”

  I know she’s holding back and I’m not surprised. She’s so accustomed to me snapping at her all the time. But I’m not used to anyone being that interested in what I have to say. Doubt shows up, taking the form of a muted quiver inside my chest.

  Collapsing beside her, I flick the cap off the beer. “So you had a good day?” I ask, even though my desire to talk right now is nonexistent.

  “Yeah. Work was really busy.” She sprawls out, resting the edges of her cute little feet against the table. “I met Olivia earlier today and we ran into your brother at the deli, too.”

  My fingernails begin to pick at the label on the bottle as my mind wanders from our conversation. Tension sits on top of my shoulders, as if a hand is gripping me hard, or maybe it’s the fucking vice squeezing my chest, holding me hostage. An explosion is brewing, each second I hold my feelings in moving me toward utter devastation. But then again, that’s my life. Dealing with the ruins, things collapsing around me and trying to figure out how the hell to get through it all.

  Alone.

  “Rex? Did you hear me?”

  Instead of answering her, the words finally push past the knot in my throat. As painful as they are, they have to come out before I annihilate everyone around me.

  “I had a client today,” I mumble, continuing to tear at the label, “a girl, probably in her twenties, but wise beyond her years. She’d lost her boyfriend in a motorcycle accident and wanted his picture tattooed on her arm so she’d never forget what he looked like.” I take a sip of beer to wash down the emotion threatening to spill out. “I realized that I struggle now to remember certain things about my baby brother and I don’t have any pictures except that one you saw. I could probably ask Hunter, but… I don’t know, I guess I feel like… I don’t deserve to have them.”