by Amanda Cowen
I look up again. Aiden is watching me.
I swallow, most definitely not glancing down at his abs.
“What?” he asks.
“You need to put a shirt on,” I blurt out.
He’s quiet for a moment, eyes searching mine, obviously confused. “Seriously? Are you—”
“I’m not kidding,” I say.
He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “Are these abs of steel too much for you to handle?”
I laugh as he poses like a body builder and flexes his pecks. “I’m starting to think we need to make a rule about nakedness around here.”
Aiden turns to face me with a shit-eating grin. “Maybe I like to air dry.” He shrugs and wiggles his eyebrows. “I can be naked if you want me to be.”
“No, thank you. Strictly roommates, which is why all these muscles need to be covered.” I point to his bare abdomen. “It’s distracting. I never knew you were so…” I search for the right word. “In shape.”
My phone rings on the coffee table, causing both of us to turn our attention away from each other and to the ringing. An unknown number flashes on the screen. My heart sinks a little. Could it be Cash? No one ever calls me from an unknown number. I can’t and won’t answer it. I’m way too vulnerable right now.
I look up at Aiden and he’s watching me.
“Who's that?” he asks.
“Since we are strictly roommates, why do you even care?” I tease him and pop a popcorn kernel into my mouth. “Naked smart-ass,” I grumble.
With a small, relieved sigh, Aiden takes the popcorn bowl from my lap and places it on the table. He leans forward, his face so close to mine, I can smell the peppermint toothpaste on his breath.
“Answer it,” he insists.
And ruin whatever this easy and flirty banter is between us? Not a chance. This time I’m letting my brain guide me. Not my heart.
I flip my phone over. “I’d rather not.”
“Answer it. Or I’m losing the pants too.” He winks.
“Boundaries, remember?” I say, moving closer to him. “Pants stay on.”
Aiden laughs, “Fine, pants stay on.” He leans forward, and the sofa dips as his hands move to my hair. I close my eyes as his thumb brushes over my chin, and just like that he leans in and kisses me.
And to my surprise, I kiss him back.
Chapter 7
Quinn
“I’m so happy you decided to come home to California for the holidays,” Lyndsey calls from the kitchen.
“This place doesn’t feel like home.” I drop my luggage in the foyer of the sprawling two-story mansion that our father bought when he took over hockey operations for the Santa Anna Tornadoes.
I step down into the living room and take in the impressive view from the floor-to-ceiling windows and French doors opening up onto a huge wrap-around deck overlooking the Pacific coast. Lyndsey walks out from the kitchen area, wearing a deep-blue sundress that flows down to just above her knees. She looks, as usual, over-done and completely stunning, as she carries a tray with a pitcher of lemonade and two glasses on it.
“In his defense, he could have easily bought a bachelor pad closer to Santa Anna, but he didn’t,” Lyndsey says. “He decided to buy a beautiful home on the beach because he wants this to feel like it’s our home too. He’s excited to spend Christmas together this year, and so am I. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together as a family for the holidays.”
“I know.” I look out at the waves crashing against the sand.
I’ve gone from light and fluffy snow in Boston to sunshine and ocean air. I almost miss the festive feel of the holidays on the East Coast. It makes the holiday season feel more real and less obligatory. I haven’t returned home to California for the holiday break since my first year in undergrad, and for good reason. The holidays always felt weird and forced after our mother passed, and now they feel even weirder without Cash in my life. This would have been our first Christmas together.
“On a little bit of a different note, I’ve got some good news.” She studies my face before deciding, accurately, that she is ready to tell me. “I started a job. And before I tell you where and what I’m doing, promise me you won’t flip out.”
My mind immediately flashes to the worst, like she’s taken a job as a stripper. All the blood must have drained from my face because Lyndsey laughs and pats my shoulder.
“Relax, Quinn. Just promise me.”
“Fine,” I sigh. “I promise.”
“Being with Louis has really made me start to think about my future. Lately, we’ve been talking quite a bit about our lives together and where we see ourselves in the next five years and all that stuff I hate talking about…stuff I never ever thought I’d ever be thinking about in my early twenties.” She pauses and glances over at me. “So with that being said…I’ve decided college really isn’t for me. I’m not you. I will never be like you; studious and focused,” she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “I’ve dropped out of college.”
What?! I try to keep my face impassive, but it’s really hard not to show any emotion. If she’s stripping I won’t be able to keep my cool. Then my mind flips to the next horrible alternative. She’s posing for Playboy.
“I want a job that I will love,” she continues and opens her eyes, snapping me out of my worries. “A job that will allow me to move around and give me freedom to work from wherever Louis’s hockey career could take him. I can’t work behind a desk or ever imagine myself pursing graduate level education. So when Olivia’s cousin Holly offered me a job at a local salon, I accepted. I’m apprenticing to be an Esthetician. Please don’t flip out.”
My first reaction is relief. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. Because seriously, thank God she isn’t a stripper or posing for Playboy. When I reopen my eyes, my second reaction is a slight bit of disappointment. I can’t help but be a tiny bit unsettled with her decision to drop out of college. But when I look over at her sitting on the edge of her seat waiting patiently for my approval, my third and final reaction is ease. I am happy she’s found something she’s truly passionate about. I could totally see Lyndsey as an Esthetician. She loves makeup, beauty products, and pampering herself and others. I’m quite impressed she’s put thought into her future, even though it wouldn’t have been the future I envisioned for her.
“Quinn, say something.”
“I’m really proud of you,” I gush.
“You are?” Her smile starts at one corner and twists across her lips. Damn her and her cute convincing grin. “Ohmigosh. I was so scared to tell you. I thought you were going to disown me or something.”
“I’m not thrilled you decided to drop out of college,” I sigh. “But I can tell you really put a lot of thought into your decision. I’m actually quite proud of you. I could really see you working in that field.”
She throws her arms around my neck and squeezes me tight. “Louis told me you would understand and be supportive of my decision.”
“How does Louis feel about your decision to drop out of college and take on this apprenticeship?” I ask.
“He supports my decision. He made me write a pros and cons list and he had me meditate nightly to find my inner voice. He’s almost as crazy as you are,” she laughs, smiling darkly. “Which is probably why I love him so much. He keeps me grounded. Just like you do.”
“And what about Dad?”
“He was disappointed at first, but he’s warmed up to the idea.”
I lean forward and hug her again. “You are going to be a great Esthetician.”
After a quiet pause, Lyndsey pulls away but her dress gets caught on my necklace.
“Shoot,” I groan. “Don’t move.”
I carefully detach the necklace from her dress, able to save both.
“Good save,” Lyndsey says. “I really love this dress and your necklace. Did you make that recently?”
“Yes.” I fiddle with the turquoise beads. “I’ve been making a lot of dif
ferent pieces lately. I even started selling on Etsy.”
“Quinn, that’s so awesome,” she gushes. “Any sales?”
“Yeah, quite a few actually. This month I’ve had a hundred different orders.”
“Congratulations,” she says, and takes a sip of her drink. “You’ve really come a long way these past few months. I’m so glad you’ve finally started to move on and make some positive changes, especially regarding your choice in men.”
She didn’t have to say his name to know who she was referring to. What Lyndsey doesn’t know is that I may appear happy and well put together on the outside, but on the inside I can’t seem to erase the constant ache in my heart no matter how hard I try.
“How are things going with Aiden anyway?” Her voice is curious, nosy even. “Will you see him over the holidays? Did you get him a Christmas present?”
I don’t look up and instead I mumble, “Good. Things are slow.” I take a sip of my drink. “And no I haven’t bought him anything. We’re still just friends who happen to make out every once a while. We’re not that serious.”
“I bet he doesn’t think that,” she says.
“Think what?”
“That you’re not that serious.” Lyndsey chuckles. “Ten bucks says he buys you a Christmas present.”
I shake my head. “He won’t. I told him not to.”
“Quinn, don’t you know that in girl language when you tell a guy not to, it means ‘yes, do’?”
I forgot who I was talking to, Lyndsey Ashby, Queen Bee of passive-aggressive.
“Aiden’s no stranger to girl language. He has two sisters and Vaughn is one of his best friends. He’s probably already bought you something.”
“Well, he better not because I didn’t buy him anything. When I said for him not to, I meant it.” I hope she hears the annoyance in my voice. “Trust me. He knows that.”
Lyndsey remains silent, and I pull my hair up into a ponytail and lean back in the lounger. “Where is Dad? Working?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Kind of.” She twirls a loose piece of her hair around her finger. “The Tornadoes have a home game tonight.”
“Oh,” I say, and I can feel her looking over at me. Is she waiting for me to crack and bring up Cash? No way. I won’t give her the satisfaction. Especially not after she congratulated me on moving on and making positive changes.
“Yeah,” she says, and I can hear the hesitation in her voice. I twist my head so that I can see her face, lips upside down in a frown and eyes apologetic. “He invited us to meet him at the game once your flight came in, but I figured you wouldn’t want to go.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t.” I remember Cash in his hockey equipment on the ice. I don’t know whether I want to scream or cry remembering how he always looked so dominant and amazingly sexy when he played.
“Listen, I know you and Aiden are taking things slow,” Lyndsey says and takes a sip of her drink. “And I know he’s no sex-on-skates like Cash, but I will say he comes with zero secrets and alcoholism.”
She watches me for a minute as I struggle to not react to that. It’s a fair dig on Cash, and it’s the kind of thing sisters should be able to say to one another. But her words just kind of dissolve into an awkward silence.
“Sorry,” she mumbles. “I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
She knows better than to broach into Cash territory with me. I’ve made it very clear to her that I don’t want him brought up in conversation. Even hearing his name roll off her tongue is still too painful. An awkward silence continues to linger until she speaks again.
“If it makes you feel any better, I finally broke the news to Dad about me and Louis.” She watches me from the corner of her eye. “At first he was super pissed. He even threatened to have Louis traded, until I threatened him that I would drop out of college and move with Louis to wherever Dad traded him to.”
I look over at her and we both burst out laughing. Leave it to Lyndsey to throw a fit and get her way. He knows Lyndsey will follow through with every threat she makes. It wouldn’t be the first time she out-threatened him and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
“Just be glad you ended things with Cash before Dad found out,” Lyndsey says. “If he was pissed about my relationship with Louis, I can’t even imagine how he would have reacted if he knew the truth about you and Cash.”
I keep my face neutral, but inside I feel a jolt of resentment. Even though Cash and I are done, I feel a little jaded knowing our Dad is somehow okay with Lyndsey dating Louis. For the first time in my life, I can’t help but feel bothered by the different standards and rules he has for her and not me.
“Is Dad okay with your relationship now?” I ask, trying to suppress my inner irritation. “For you to actually tell Dad about Louis, it must be love.”
“He’s not happy about it, but he’s accepted it.” She blushes and looks down at her hands folded in her lap. “And no, it’s not love. I had to tell him because it was becoming common knowledge in the Bruisers’ circle. I didn’t want Dad finding out from someone else.”
“Sure, sure.”
“Okay Quinn, just because I had to tell Dad about my relationship with Louis does not mean wedding bells or whatever.” She waves me off.
I shrug and take a sip of my drink enjoying her discomfort. “Whatever you say, Lynds.”
________
Christmas morning comes and goes, just as fast as Lyndsey rips through her presents. Our dad overdid it with a ten-foot-tall Christmas tree, holiday music, and a stack of gifts decorated with bows. All of which I think are completely unnecessary. Even though it’s been years since our mother passed, it still feels strange making such a big ordeal about Christmas. Even more so after I open a pink Kate Spade purse followed by a brand new MacBook Air. I make a point of stating how over the top this is, only to be shushed by Lyndsey oohing and aweing over her loot. As our dad hands me another present, he says he is so happy we are all together, and that he wouldn’t have it any other way.
By five o’clock, the doorbell starts to ring. Our dad decided he wanted to host a social Christmas dinner (catered of course) with a few of his invited colleagues and friends. Olivia and her family are the first ones of arrive, followed shortly thereafter by Louis, then a few of our dad’s Tornadoes administrative staff, and surprisingly enough Theo. We haven’t seen each other since I handed him my resignation, and we didn’t leave on the best of terms. He gives me a cordial greeting, wishes me a “Happy Holidays,” and says he would love to hear all about Harvard.
While everyone settles and socializes in the living room, I slip into the kitchen and hide out with the catering staff to snack on the hors d’oeuvres and wait for the rest of our guests to arrive.
As I snack on a tray of bacon-wrapped scallops, my phones beeps with a text message from Aiden.
On my way ☺
My mood shifts immediately from festive and calm to nervous and uncertain. I don’t know why, but suddenly it hits me that Aiden’s actually coming. And not just as my friend, but as my male friend I’ve been making out with. I hadn’t planned on inviting Aiden to Christmas dinner, but Lyndsey invited Vaughn, and Vaughn, without my consent invited Aiden thinking it was okay to extend the invitation without asking me first. I can’t help but think that Aiden coming to Christmas dinner is a huge step forward in whatever this is between us. And I’m not entirely sure I’m ready for it.
“Merry Christmas, Quinn.” I turn around, and face Louis, standing in the doorway. “It’s been a while.”
Louis pulls me in for a hug. His big strong arms swallow me into his chest.
“Merry Christmas to you too.” I pull back and look up at him with a playful grin. “I hear you were almost traded.”
“Yeah,” he blushes. “Your dad isn’t too pleased about me and Lyndsey. I’ve tried to tell him how serious I am about her, but he won’t listen to me because he’s too pissed off to hear me out right now. I’m lucky he even let me come for Christmas
dinner.”
“You’re a great guy.” I say. “My dad should be thankful someone is even willing to put up with Lyndsey.”
Louis chuckles, and I hold out a tray of some fancy-looking appetizers.
He pops a couple into his mouth, returning a pleased grin. “Tell me, how are things going with you? Harvard treating you well?” he asks.
“Yeah, the program is quite intensive.”
“Anything new going on in the life of Quinn?” He raises a brow.
“Nope.”
“Really?” He leans against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “Because that’s not what I heard. I heard you already moved on.”
I absolutely refuse to look at him. Something about Louis’s light hazel eyes and knowing smile directed right at me make me feel like he’s baiting me. “I don’t know what Lyndsey told you, but I’m not dating anyone. You could say, I’m casually seeing Aiden. That’s it.”
“Right. Casual.” He shrugs and turns his non-judgmental face on me. “Have you talked to Cash?”
“No.” I fiddle with my bracelet. “After forty-two unanswered calls, I’m pretty sure he got the message to leave me alone.”
“I hear he’s doing really well in the pros,” he says, and I can hear the smirk in his voice. “He already has seventeen goals and forty-one assists. And I heard he scored an endorsement deal with Hockey Gear Co.”
“You’ve talked to him, then?” I ask, and make a serious effort to keep my tone impassive.
“Nope. I haven’t seen or heard from him since he moved to the Tornadoes…” His voice trails off, and he shakes his head as his attention moves to a plate of cocktail shrimp. “I’ve tried calling him, texting him, but he never responds.”
I’m supposed to be uninterested, completely uninterested and over him, right? Why does it feel then like I’m sick to my stomach? And why am I suddenly so concerned? I clear my throat and swallow my sudden panic.
“I really hope Cash isn’t drinking again,” he says, studying me as I try to look like you would when they absolutely do not care about Cash Brooks. “He may be doing well in his career, but as soon as he shuts out everyone that cares about him, something’s up. I’m a little worried about him. I know you two are done, but I was hoping you would have at least talked to him.”
