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This Girl: A Novel

Page 14

by Colleen Hoover


  “I’ll have to throw this shirt away now. The chlorine probably just ruined it,” she says.

  I slide my hand underneath her shirt and up her back, then press my lips against the area of skin right below her ear. “If you throw this ugly shirt away, I’m divorcing you.”

  She throws her head back and laughs. “Finally! You love my ugly shirt!”

  I pull her against me so close that even the water can’t pass between us. I bring my forehead to hers. “I’ve always loved this shirt, Lake. This is the shirt you were wearing the night I finally admitted to myself that I was in love with you.”

  The corner of her lip curls up into a grin. “And what night was that?”

  I tilt my head back until it rests against the concrete siding and look up to the sky. “Not a good one.”

  She kisses me at the base of my throat. “Tell me anyway,” she whispers.

  i love her

  “CAULDER, ARE YOU sure Julia said it was okay for you to stay the night?” He’s rummaging through his dresser looking for socks while Kel loads a bag with their toys.

  “Yeah. She said I can’t come over tomorrow night because they’re having family night, so I should spend the night tonight.”

  Family night? I wonder if that means Julia is finally telling Lake she’s sick. A knot forms in my stomach and I instantly become nervous for her. “I’ll get your toothbrush, Caulder.”

  I’m in the bathroom packing a bag for Caulder when I hear yelling coming from outside. I immediately run to the living room window and see Lake storming out of her house toward Eddie’s car. I can’t hear what she’s saying, but it’s obvious she’s pissed. Her face is almost the same shade of red as the shirt she has on. She swings open Eddie’s back door and turns around, still yelling.

  That’s when I see Julia.

  The look on her face makes my heart sink. Eddie’s car pulls out of the driveway and Julia is left standing at the edge of the yard crying as she watches them pull away. As soon as the car is gone, I swing open the front door and run across the street.

  “Is everything okay? Is she okay?” I say when I reach her. Julia looks up at me and shakes her head.

  “Did you tell Lake that I’m sick?” she asks.

  “No,” I answer immediately. “No, I told you I wouldn’t.”

  Julia stares down the street, still shaking her head. “I think she knows. I don’t know how she found out but she knows. I should have told her sooner,” she says, still crying.

  The front door to my house slams shut and I spin around to see Kel and Caulder making their way out the front door. “Boys! You guys are staying with me tonight instead. Go back inside,” I yell. They roll their eyes and groan, and then head back into the house.

  “Thank you, Will,” Julia says. She turns to head back to her house and I follow after her.

  “Do you want me to stay with you until she gets back?”

  “No,” she says quietly. “I just want to be alone for a while.” She walks inside and closes the door behind her.

  I spend the next two hours debating whether to text Gavin. It’s killing me not knowing if Lake is okay or not. I wait on the couch with the living room curtains wide open, watching for her return. It’s after eleven o’clock now, and I can’t wait a second longer. I throw caution out the window and grab my phone to text Gavin.

  Is Lake okay? Where are you guys? Is she spending the night with Eddie or coming home tonight?

  I don’t have to wait long before he replies.

  Yes. Movies. No.

  What the hell? Could he not elaborate a little?

  How can she be okay? And why the hell would you guys take her to a movie when she’s this upset?

  Two minutes go by without a response, so I text him again.

  Is she still crying? When are you guys bringing her home?

  I wait a few more minutes without a response, then begin texting him again. Before I hit send, my phone rings.

  “Hello?” I say, almost desperately.

  “What the hell are you doing, Will?” Gavin yells into the phone. “You’re acting like a psycho boyfriend.”

  “Is she with you right now?” I ask.

  “The movie just let out, she’s in the restroom with Eddie. I came outside to call you because I think you might need a reminder that you’re her teacher.”

  I grip my cell phone and shake it out of frustration, then put it back to my ear.

  “That doesn’t matter right now. I saw her leaving after she found out about her mom’s cancer. I just need to know that she’s okay, Gavin. I’m worried about her.”

  I get nothing but silence. Gavin doesn’t respond, but I can hear background noise so I know we’re still connected. “Gavin?”

  He clears his throat. “Her mom has cancer? Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. Has Lake not told you guys why she was crying when she got in your car? Julia doesn’t know how, but Layken somehow figured it out.”

  Gavin is silent again for a few more seconds, then he sighs heavily into the phone. “Will,” he says, his voice lower than before. “Layken thinks her mom has a new boyfriend. She has no idea she has cancer.”

  I fall onto the couch, but it feels like my heart falls straight through the floor.

  “Will?” Gavin says.

  “I’m here,” I say. “Just get her home, Gavin. She needs to talk to her mom.”

  “Yeah. We’re on our way.”

  •••

  I SPEND THE next several minutes debating whether to go across the street and let Julia know that Layken has misunderstood everything. Unfortunately, by the time I decide to go talk to her, Eddie’s car is pulling into their driveway. I watch as Lake gets out and walks to her front door. When she goes inside, I close my curtains and turn out the light. I wish more than anything I could be there for her right now. I know the heartache she’s about to experience. The fact that I’m a hundred yards away and not able to do a damn thing about it is the hardest thing of all.

  I walk to Caulder’s room and check on the boys. They’re both passed out, so I turn the TV off and shut their door, then head to my room. I can already tell it’s going to be a sleepless night. I can just imagine Lake crying herself to sleep. God, what I wouldn’t give to be able to hold her right now. If I could just take all of this away from her, I would.

  I’m lying with my hands under my head, my eyes focused on nothing in particular. A tear rolls down to my temple and I wipe it away. I’m torn up over the sadness I feel for this girl.

  •••

  IT’S HALF AN hour later when I hear a knock on the living room door. I immediately jump out of bed and run to the living room and swing the door open. She’s standing on my patio, mascara streaked down her cheeks. She’s wiping her eyes with her shirt and she looks up at me. All the things I’ve been willing myself to do for the entire past month get shoved aside by the sheer sadness in her eyes. I put my arm around her and pull her inside, then shut the door behind her. I’m positive she knows the truth about her mom at this point, but I still proceed with caution.

  “Lake, what’s wrong?”

  She tries to catch her breath, sucking in gasps of air between sobs. I can feel her melting, so I wrap my arms around her as she sinks to the floor. I sink with her, then pull her to me and let her cry. I rest my chin on top of her head and stroke her hair while she continues to cry for several minutes. I grasp the back of her shirt and bury my head in the crevice of her neck, fully aware of the fact that she came to me. She needed someone, and she came to me.

  “Tell me what happened,” I finally whisper.

  She begins to sob, so I pull her closer. Between breaths, she says the words that I know are the hardest words she’ll ever have to say. “She’s dying, Will. She has cancer.”

  I know from experience that there are no words comforting enough to follow that. I squeeze her and give her what she needs. Silent reassurance. I pick her up and take her to my bedroom, then lay her on the bed and
pull the covers over her. My doorbell rings, so I bend forward and kiss her on the forehead, then head back to the living room.

  I already know it’s Julia before I open the door. When I see her, she looks in just as bad shape as Lake does. “Is she here?” she says through her tears.

  I nudge my head toward my bedroom. “She’s lying down,” I say.

  “Can you get her? She needs to come home so we can talk about this.”

  I glance back toward the hallway and sigh. I don’t want her to go. I know how much she needs this time to absorb everything. I turn back to Julia and take the biggest risk I’ve ever taken in my life.

  “Let her stay, Julia. She needs me right now.”

  Julia doesn’t respond for a moment. The fact that I’m disagreeing with her seems to throw her off for a moment. She shakes her head. “I can’t, Will. I can’t let her stay the night here.”

  “I’ve been in her shoes before. She needs time to absorb this, trust me. Just give her the night to calm down.”

  Julia’s shoulders fall and she looks down, unable to look at me. I don’t know if it’s because she’s angry with me for wanting Lake to stay, or heartbroken because she knows I’m right. She nods, then turns and begins walking back toward her house. Her defeated demeanor makes me feel as though I just broke her heart. She thinks she’s losing Lake to me and that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

  “Julia, wait,” I say, calling after her. She pauses in my front yard and turns to face me. When we make eye contact, she immediately shifts her gaze to the ground again and puts her hands on her hips. When I reach her, she still doesn’t look at me. I’m not sure what to say. I clear my throat, but have no idea what to say to her.

  “Listen, Julia,” I say. “I know how much your time with Lake means to you, I do. Believe me, I do. I want her to be there for you. The fact that she wants to be here right now instead doesn’t mean anything. She just needs to process this. That’s all. You won’t lose her.”

  She runs her hands across her eyes, wiping away fresh tears. She kicks at the ground beneath her foot, giving herself a second to gather her thoughts. She eventually raises her head and looks me straight in the eyes. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

  I pause.

  Am I?

  I sigh and clasp my hands behind my head, not sure what to say. “I’m trying so hard not to be,” I say quietly, admitting it to myself for the first time.

  When she hears my confession, she looks up at me, her expression stoic. “Try harder, Will. I need her. I can’t have her wrapped up in this whirlwind, forbidden romance. That’s the last thing we need right now.” Julia shakes her head then looks away again. Her disappointment stings. I’ve let her down.

  I take a step closer to her and look her in the eyes, making another promise that I pray to God I’m strong enough to keep. “It doesn’t matter how I feel about her, okay? I don’t want her consumed by what’s going on between us any more than you do. She just needs a friend right now, that’s all this is.”

  She hugs herself and looks past me at my house. “I’ll let her stay tonight,” she finally says. “But only because I agree with you that she needs time to process everything.” She shifts her gaze back to mine. The tears still fresh in her eyes, I can do nothing but nod in agreement. She returns my acknowledgment with her own nod, then turns to head home. “You better sleep on the couch,” she says over her shoulder.

  After Julia is back inside, I return to my own house and lock the front door. I walk into the bedroom but Lake doesn’t acknowledge me. I slide into the bed behind her, placing one arm under her head and my other arm over her chest. I pull her to me and hold her while she cries herself to sleep.

  13.

  the honeymoon

  WE REMAIN RELAXED in the water, holding on to each other. She’s resting her head on my shoulder, quiet and still. She presses her lips against my shoulder, opening them slightly, and she kisses me. I inhale as she grazes my shoulder with her lips, softly kissing along my collarbone, then up to my neck. When she reaches my jaw, she pulls back and looks at me. “I love you, Will Cooper,” she says with tears in her eyes. She leans in and presses her lips to mine. She tightens her grip around my waist with her legs and places her hands on the back of my head, filling me with slow, deep kisses. I don’t think she’s ever kissed me with such intensity and passion before. It’s like she’s somehow trying to show her gratitude through her kiss.

  I let her. I let her thank me for a good five minutes.

  When her lips finally separate from mine, she unwraps her legs from around me and grins. “That was for loving me like you do.”

  She kicks off the wall and floats on her back across the pool. When she reaches the other side, she props her elbows up behind her on the concrete ledge and smiles at me from across the pool. I’m left breathless, wishing we were back in the hotel room already.

  “It’s too bad you like my shirt now,” she says, still grinning mischievously.

  “Why is that?”

  She releases her grip on the ledge and brings her hand to the top button of her shirt. “Because,” she says in a sexy whisper. “I’m really tired of wearing it.” She unbuttons the top button, revealing the outline of her bra. As many times as I’ve seen that bra in the last twenty-four hours, it’s a whole hell of a lot sexier right now.

  “Oh,” I say. As much as I want that shirt off her, we’re in the courtyard of a hotel. I look around nervously to make sure no one is out here. When I look back at her, the second button is unbuttoned and her fingers are already working on the third. She hasn’t taken her eyes off mine.

  “Lake.”

  “What?” she says innocently. The fourth button is undone now and she’s working on the fifth.

  I slowly shake my head. “That’s not a good idea.”

  She slides the shirt halfway down her shoulders, revealing the entire bra now. “Why not?”

  I try to think of why it’s not a good idea, but I can’t. I can’t think. All I want to do is help her finish getting the damn shirt off. I swim across the water and ease closer to her until our faces are just inches apart. Without taking my eyes off hers, I grasp the sleeves of her shirt and pull it the rest of the way down her arms, then yank it off completely. I throw the shirt onto the concrete patio, then lower my hands to the button on her jeans. She gasps. I lean in and whisper in her ear as I slide her zipper down. “Why stop there?”

  I thought I’d called her bluff, but I should know better than that. She wraps one arm around my neck and helps me pull her jeans off with her other hand. I grab her thighs and pull her flush against me, then spin us around until I’m against the ledge again. She braces her hands against the pool wall behind my head. I sink us both lower until our chins are barely above the surface of the water.

  We’re pressed firmly together; the only things separating us are my jeans and her underwear, and one of these items is about to go. I slide my thumb into her waistband at the hip and begin to inch her panties down. I pull them down just far enough. “What now?” I say, moving my hand farther down as I wait for her to call retreat.

  She breathes heavily against my lips as her chin submerges and re-emerges against the waves of the water. Rather than call retreat, she closes her eyes, daring me to keep going.

  She gasps when I unclasp her bra with my other hand and begin to slide it off her.

  “Will,” she says against my lips. “What if someone comes out here?” She covers herself with her arms when the bra is completely off.

  I throw it on the concrete in the spot next to her shirt and I smile at her. “You started this. Don’t tell me you’re about to call retreat now.” I kiss her on the chin and trail a line across her jaw with my lips. She uncovers her chest and sinks lower into the water, then pulls me against her.

  “Retreat is no longer in my vocabulary,” she says, finding the button on my pants.

  “You two almost done here?” someone says from behind us, causing
Lake to abandon her current mission. She throws her arms around me and buries her head against my neck. I glance to the left and see a hotel employee standing just inside the gated entry, his hands on his hips. “I’ve got to lock up,” he says.

  “Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god” she whispers. “Where the hell are my clothes?”

  I laugh. “Told you it wasn’t a good idea,” I say against her ear.

  I keep my arms wrapped tightly around her and look over at the man, who appears a bit too amused at our plight. “Um. Could you throw me those?” I say, pointing to Lake’s shirt and bra, which are several feet away. She’s got a death grip on my neck.

  The hotel employee looks down at the clothes and chuckles, then looks back at Lake and smiles, almost as if I’m not even here. He walks through the gate and over to the edge of the pool and tosses us the shirt, not taking his eyes off her the entire time. I wrap the shirt over her shoulders and he’s still standing there, staring.

  “Do you mind?” I say to him. The guy finally takes his eyes off Lake long enough to witness my glare. He clearly reads the expression on my face and turns around to head back inside.

  Lake slips her shirt back on while I retrieve her pants and swim them back to her. “You’re a bad influence Mrs. Cooper,” I say.

  “Hey, my plan was to stop at the shirt,” she says. “You’re the one who had other ideas.”

  I let her hold on to me while I help her struggle back into her jeans. “Well, if what just happened wasn’t your intention, why did you lure me into the water to begin with?” I say.

  She laughs and shakes her head. “I guess I just can’t resist those abs.”

  I kiss her on the nose and swing her around onto my back, then carry her out of the pool. We leave a sopping wet trail the entire way back to our hotel room.

  •••

 

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