Corrupted

by M. J. Kaestli

  “Hello, civilians of planet Earth. We have arrived safely, the sun is shining, and oh man, that air smells good.”

  Freya gasped, choking, struggling to breathe. It was not the stress leaving her body that caused her reaction. That would have been wonderful; this feeling was not. No matter how much time had passed since the ship left, it would be impossible for her to not recognize Colin’s voice.

  Chapter 16

  Freya made her way back to her apartment, hands feeling along the walls to support her balance. The thought of seeing Colin had crossed her mind, but she thought it would be on a video, as a person in the background. Hearing his voice as the first point of contact was just more than she could handle. If he had been the person on the radio, then he had a responsibility in communications.

  As she crawled into bed, she scoffed at herself. Of course he was in communications. What purpose would there be for Security in a colony with such a small population? He had been sent because much of what they did was to monitor communication devices. Who would be better equipped to handle the job than a member of Security?

  If the Council expected her to handle communications with the colony world, she would step down in the morning. Her body had gone completely limp, every muscle and fiber exhausted in her entire being. It wasn’t just hearing Colin’s voice; the lead up to that moment would have left her in such a state. He just added to her utter exhaustion. Although he was not completely responsible for all of the self doubt and insecurities she was feeling, he became the focal point, and she suddenly couldn’t think of anything but him, and even worse, what would come next.

  She could not speak to him or even look at him. Never once had she considered herself to be vain, yet wondering what he would think of her if he saw her kept circling around her mind. He would still be young and handsome, and she was no longer in her prime. Would he be glad of our separation if he saw me? She couldn’t imagine him responding any other way.

  She laid there wallowing until Chastity knocked on her door. Freya rolled over and looked out the window. It was past dawn, yet she had not a single desire to get out of bed. There was another knock, but Freya felt no obligation to answer. She was no longer to be the head of State soon; let her have a day of rest. After a third knock, the door opened, and Chastity stepped inside.

  “Why do you have clearance to enter my apartment?” Freya pulled the covers over her head.

  Chastity walked over to the bed, grabbed the covers and ripped them off the bed in one deft movement. “Get up!” Chastity yelled. “You are acting like a child.”

  “No.” Freya knew she sounded like a child yet couldn’t bring herself to care.

  “Let me get this straight. You have changed the course of human history in the very short time you have been the head of State. You have led the people, who love you, who need you, and you aren’t going to get out of bed because you aren’t strong enough to deal with some stupid male who broke your heart over twenty years ago?”

  “I don’t want to be head of State any more.” She turned her back to Chastity.

  “Well, that’s too bad, because I am not going to let you stay here.” Chastity pulled on Freya’s legs until she was about to fall out of the bed.

  She caught herself and stood up on her own. Freya looked at Chastity, startled by her strength. Chastity never ceased to amaze her, both in her strength and in her determination. Who else in their right mind would dare to treat the head of State in such a way? Then again, Chastity wasn’t just an administrator to Freya. She was a mother, a sister, a teacher; she had taken care of her since she was practically a child. No one knew her as well as Chastity, which was why Chastity knew that there would be no negative repercussions for behaving in such a way.

  “You need to get yourself ready. It is time for you to address the people.” Chastity herded her into the bathroom.

  Freya looked in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen with a chapped nose to complete the collection. As she stepped in the shower, she decided for the first time to see whether water rations also applied to shower times in the State house. Anything she could do to stay in the apartment longer, she would. She couldn’t address the people, not feeling the way she did, or looking the way she looked. Wasn’t there someone else who could do the broadcast on her behalf? Surely a scientist would be better suited to explain the situation.

  The only saving grace was knowing that Chastity would write the address for her. If she had to think something up, there would be no broadcast at all. She just had to stay in control of her emotions long enough to say a few simple words.

  Her shower went on forever, until Chastity came and pounded on the door, yelling at her to hurry up. So there were no water rations in the State house after all, just Chastity to keep everyone on the straight and narrow. Freya finished with her washing, and shut the water off only out of the fear of Chastity breaking down the door to come in after her. Chastity may be getting a little up there in age, but her determination would surely give her the strength needed for such a task.

  Freya took the longest time she had ever taken to dress and comb her hair. She couldn’t even comprehend herself that someone could take up that much time. Part of her was curious whether Chastity was still standing just outside the door waiting impatiently for her. Finally, Freya accepted she could stall no longer, and she opened the door.

  Chastity had changed the bed back into a sofa and was calmly working on her tablet. Changing the bed was something that Freya never did. People who spent time in their apartment may have use for a sofa, but she herself had absolutely no use for it. The apartment was for sleeping and showering; she would do that in her office if she had the means.

  Once she was dressed, Chastity sat her down and pulled out a strange-looking device, which directed hot air at her head. Freya had never seen anything like it before, but almost instantly understood its function of increasing the speed her hair was drying.

  “This seems like a big waste of electricity. Where did you get it?” Freya asked.

  “There would be no need to waste power if you had not taken so long wasting water,” Chastity replied.

  It just wasn’t possible to beat Chastity; the woman was a machine. Judging by the looks of it, it must have been a relic from the pre-State era as it did look like an awful waste of resources. Even as the head of State—someone who had to look presentable at all times—she felt as if it would have been best to just let it dry naturally.

  Once her hair was dried and combed again, Chastity grabbed her arm and pulled her into the office. There was no time spent talking or planning; Chastity gave her the speech she was about to give, and Freya read it over a few times.

  “It’s much shorter than I thought,” Freya said. “And I don’t really say anything important.”

  “No, you just need to make an appearance. The scientists will lead us through the majority of the information.”

  Freya let out a sigh of relief. Chastity sent a message that they were ready to begin, and then she turned the monitor on. In Freya’s speaker notes, it was never made clear to her whether she was to speak first, in the middle, or last. She hoped that having to look for her cue would not throw her off.

  Her nerves were ten times what they had been before her first address. She tried to calm down by reminding herself that soon this would no longer be her responsibility. This might even be her last address. As soon as she thought it, she knew it was a lie. It would take some time to convince the State to elect a new leader, and if a new leader wasn’t elected, everything she had done could be undone.

  The broadcast started with a scientist explaining the progress of the colonists. There were videos of computer simulations of what happened with the ship, and what they theorized conditions were like on the new world. The broadcast went on for so long, she began to wonder whether they would still have time for her to say anything at all. Surely everything had been said already.

  Her segment was obviously a metaphoric waving of the
flag, yet she still didn’t want to do it. Then, to her horror, the scientist played the recording of Colin’s voice for everyone to hear. Just when she thought it couldn’t be any worse, he said the head of State was now going to share a few words.

  The light flashed on the monitor, which indicated it had switched into streaming mode. Freya tried to hide her trembling hands below her desk and read the short speech Chastity had prepared.

  “Citizens, today is a day for celebration.” Her voice cracked slightly. She had to pause to steady her voice and her breathing. Moisture threatened to collect in her eyes.

  “The day we all have been dreaming of is almost here.” She had to pause again. The moisture pooled in her eyes, becoming dangerously close to tears.

  “All of our hard work and sacrifices have come into fruition. I thank each and every one of you for your contributions that made this possible. Without each of you, we could not have this victory to celebrate.” Freya paused again. A tear escaped from her right eye. “It is because of your labors, and your continued diligence that for the first time in history, we can now call a planet other than Earth our home.”

  Chastity switched off the recording, and the broadcast switched back to the emblem closing off the broadcast. Freya wiped the tears from her face.

  “Don’t worry yourself too much about the tears, dear. Everyone will just think you are happy about the colonization.” Chastity came over to the side of Freya’s desk and put her hand on her shoulder.

  “Why did I have to make an appearance? Anyone could have read that.” Freya knew it was her responsibility to give the address, and it was also a moot point as it was all over, yet the hurt of having to hear Colin’s voice again made her feel the need to argue the actions plotted out for her.

  “The people needed to see their leader.” Chastity then gave her a rather smug look, kissed her on top of her head, and took her leave.

  Freya stayed at her desk, but she wasn’t doing anything in particular. In her mind, she was trying to read the messages in her inbox, but blankly staring was a better description. After finally realizing that nothing productive would come of her day, she decided to exercise.

  One thing she could always depend on when she was feeling down was the rise of endorphins produced in a hard run. She pushed harder than she had dared to in the last decade. Sweat trickled down her entire body. As her body chemistry changed, one thing became clear to her. It was time to act like an adult, not a schoolgirl, and unfortunately, contact with Colin was unavoidable.

  All she could hope for was that he would behave as aloof to her as she planned to act toward him. It was her only choice; all she could do was to act as though she hardly remembered him. It wasn’t that far of a stretch; after all, he had been in her life for such a short period of time, and that time had long passed.

  The sad reality was, sometimes the duration of a relationship did not measure the impact they made. She had also known Ursa for but a short time, yet their time together transformed her life’s purpose.

  Colin’s mark was there, or perhaps the scar was a better description, but she could not make that obvious. For goodness’ sake, I am the head of State. How could one single male possibly throw me off my path?

  He was a part of her past, not her future. Whether he chose to leave or not, he would be happy with Ida—the two of them would have been a much better match.

  That was another part of Victor’s words that she questioned. Was there really even a matching system? Her and Colin’s pairing made so much more sense mathematically than it did on any other level. They had both been ready to move past their education, and female State house workers were always paired with a Security officer.

  A memory then flooded back to her, a memory of them speculating how they were matched. How they must have been a mathematical error; the State couldn’t find someone for them, so they were placed together. It was mathematical, but not an error—just the reality of how coupling works. They were so close to the truth in something they both thought was a joke.

  Freya was meant for independent living. Both of the men who had come into her life were nothing more than an inconvenience imposed on her by the State. Perhaps before she pushed for the election of a democratic government, she should demand the coupling system to have a complete overhaul. Perhaps people could be given a choice between coupling or choosing one’s own partner. That, of course, would only work if the coupling system was in fact viable.

  She was hoping to find a moderate ground, but looking at her and Colin, she felt the matching system should be thrown out altogether. Let people choose their own partners, when they want to be coupled, or if they want to be coupled. What purpose would coupling have in the new world anyhow?

  Feeling more empowered, Freya went through her series of stretches and went back to the office. It felt odd to work in exercise clothing, yet it made no practical sense to put on a fresh uniform as it was well past mid-day. She worked well into the night with a determination to reset her mind.

  Colin may have stolen her heart so many years ago, but he was not going to have her present or future too. She had moved on—there was Lewis, after all. The shock of hearing his voice, it was as though a ghost had spoken from beyond the grave.

  Perhaps she would have the same reaction if she heard Ursa’s voice, or perhaps her parents’. She had accepted long ago that they were gone forever. The transmission just painfully reminded her that Colin, unlike the others, wasn’t actually dead. He was just lost to her; it was not that he ceased to exist.

  She had to pull herself together, not just for her sake, but her people needed their leader. This wasn’t a choice she was making. If she were not the head of State, she would have the luxury of dwelling in misery and self-pity about Colin. She had a responsibility to uphold; her feelings always needed to come after her people. What kind of a leader would I be if I am distracted with my own personal issues?

  Freya had always thought the head of State didn’t have a partner or family because of the hours that were necessary for her to perform her tasks. It was now clear to her that there was a whole other level to this equation. She couldn’t have a partner or family because her heart belonged to the nation. No single person deserved to come before that. It wouldn’t make for a good leader.

  Chapter 17

  Time started to pass more rapidly. The messages in her inbox were less about the functions around them, but instead focused on the colony world. The colonists had built their transport device on the other side quite easily. All the parts had been sent on the ship, along with detailed instructions.

  The transport device had sped up communications between the two worlds. No attempt at an exchange had been made yet. The scientists wanted to send smaller items through as a test while they made sure the calibration between machines was complete.

  The colonists seemed, from their reports, to be a well-oiled machine. Everyone had been properly prepped for what was expected of them once they reached the colony world.

  Land had been plowed; seeds had been planted. The collective labors were now focused on building irrigation. Once their farms were functioning, their next task laid in building homes. Currently there were shelters set up from items that were on the ship.

  Some people preferred to stay on the ship, which was the central point of their village, everything was being built around the ship to keep it as a monument of their homeland. It was a simple and crude settlement, but an amazing accomplishment for such a short period of time. There were still plenty of food rations on the ship, but the colonists wanted to save the food for times of scarcity.

  The ship held all the databases that were in the computer system on Earth, and a large animal had been hunted as a result. The people had figured out how to make bows and arrows, and then how to butcher the animal and preserve it.

  The scientists were feeling more confident in the transport device, and they began their tests. At first, they sent clothing over to the colony world, which was rec
iprocated with dried meats. The meats were analyzed; it appeared to be sound and edible after reforming. Next, the scientists sent over a live chicken. There was no item sent back, just a video message of Colin holding the chicken while it fought to get away from him.

  The time for human transport to be tested was upon them. Naturally, tests had been done before the colony ship left, but the test was to send a person one hundred meters, not twenty-two light-years away. The Council recommended that one colonist come over, as to not risk more lives if something went wrong. If that person was able to not just come over, but to also go back, then it would be allowed for others to pass through the transport device.

  It was no great surprise that Colin was the first to volunteer; he had always been so arrogant. Right after she thought this, she supposed it was not a correct way to see him. For him, time would have only seemed like a few months. He would most definitely be the same person he was when he left.