Corrupted

by M. J. Kaestli

Ida leaned in a little closer, “If you don’t talk to her about it, I will. You’re just being a big chicken. We need to get this ball rolling.”

  Colin sat back in his seat. He wanted to jump up from the table and flee from the room. It took all his strength to keep an air of neutrality. It was an empty threat, but it still shook him to his core.

  “No, you won’t—you can’t. You’re not going to get anywhere near her.” He stood up, getting ready to leave. “I will let people know if she suddenly becomes open to new ideas, but until then, I think I best just focus on the life we have together.”

  “It’s only a matter of time you know, before she comes into a common room, and I’ll be here.”

  Colin laughed, genuinely laughed as it was the funniest thing he had heard in quite some time. “Good luck with that,” he said, and turned to leave.

  ***

  Ursa embraced Colin for a very long time. If he were a little younger, he would have shrugged her off, thinking her display of affections to be an embarrassment. Now that he was able to see her so rarely, he knew it was just something he should let her have.

  She had struggled so much when he left home for his education, and even more once he was coupled. Of course they were able to make calls to each other, but it wasn’t really possible to talk, not about what really mattered—the State monitored calls too closely. He stood there, gently rubbing her back, until she finally pulled away and leaned up to kiss him on his forehead.

  “My boy.” She kissed him again. “My beautiful boy, here to see me. What a wonderful day.”

  “Don’t get all teary-eyed on me, Mother. It hasn’t been that long.” He finally pulled away from her and took a seat.

  “I just can’t believe the luck of this. You getting sent over here, that I would get to see you in person.”

  “Yeah, that did work out nicely. I’m glad they gave me time to come and see you.”

  “So tell me everything,” she said eagerly. Her eyes traveled around the common room, checking to see who was near them before her eyes returned to him.

  “What would you like to know that I haven’t already told you?”

  “I want to know everything about Freya, and I mean everything. Do you love her?”

  Colin’s face flushed a little, but he nodded. “Yeah, I do,” he said. “I really do. She is amazing. I feel very fortunate.”

  Ursa took his hands across the table. “That makes me happier than you can even understand. I was worried. I don’t know if I really trust the State to match people properly. I thought the worst when you told me she works at the State house.”

  Colin laughed a little. “Oh, yes, I thought that too. The State put us together to keep me on the straight and narrow—I have no doubt about that. I also agree that the matching system is a sham, but I got lucky somehow, so unbelievably lucky. Just like you and Dad did.”

  Ursa’s eyes filled with tears. She reached out and stroked his cheek. “That is what I really wanted to know about her. I wish I could meet her.”

  “I doubt that would be possible in person, but I can pull her onto the screen with our next call if you like.”

  “That would be lovely. I want to see her, know the woman who owns my son’s heart.” She cupped his face again before she let go. “I did want to speak about her more, but on a slightly different tone.” Ursa lowered her voice.

  “No.” Colin shook his head. “She’s got this total poster child thing going on. There is no chance, and I wouldn’t even ask her.”

  “But you love her; does she not love you also?”

  “I do believe my affections run deeper than hers, but it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t know, and she never will.”

  “She doesn’t love you enough to find out who you really are?” Ursa pressed. Colin looked away from his mother, not able to acknowledge what she had stumbled on. “If she really deserved you, she would listen. We need her, Colin. We need someone who can get close to the head of State. There are rumors—they sound crazy—but I think great change is coming to us. We need to have a person in a position to act.”

  Colin sat back in his seat, still avoiding his mother’s gaze. “I won’t do it, Mother. I’m done. I can have a good life with her. A life that is not worth risking. I honestly thought when I got called to do this job that I was in trouble or something. It gave me some perspective.” His eyes moistened.

  “You are going to give up what you believe in, who you are, for a woman who does not love you?”

  Colin stood up from the table but leaned in to his mother. “I have to go now. It was good to see you.” He kissed her forehead.

  “You can’t do this, Colin. It is not who you are. It doesn’t matter how much you love her. You can’t give up on who you are for someone who doesn’t love you,” she pleaded.

  “I guess we will have to see about that.” He paused. “I can have a good life with her, and I choose that life. I am sorry if that spoils your plans, but my decision is made. Farewell, Mother.”

  Ursa grabbed his hand, urging him to stay.

  “You have made your choices,” Colin said, “and I wish you luck and safety. I have made my choice also, and I am sorry that it does not align with your plans. I can’t see you again. It’s too risky. I now have too much I could lose.”

  “You could lose it at any second anyway. That is why we do this, Colin. I hope I am wrong, but you can lose her no matter what you do.”

  “No, Mother. I won’t. Goodbye.” He left the common room, and didn’t look back, couldn’t look back. He had to cut the ties to every single one of them, all members of the rebellion, even his own mother, simply because they would never just let him be. He knew he couldn’t have them, and Freya, and so he kept walking.

  ***

  “Colin,” the man called from across the common room, waving his hand.

  His father was not a hugger like his mother was. A handshake, a touch on the shoulder: it was about as affectionate as he had ever been with Colin.

  “Hi, Dad.” Colin took a seat at the table.

  “Thank you for meeting me,” he said.

  Colin nodded his head, but said nothing in response. He was certain his father had come to guilt him, to make him speak to his mother again, but it wouldn’t work. “So what brings you to these parts?” Colin asked.

  “They needed some extra maintenance workers—trouble in the water filtration system in a few buildings here,” he replied. “Nothing to worry about. You know I got pulled into other areas a lot when you were a kid.”

  “Yeah, I know. Just routine stuff, right?” Colin replied.

  “Exactly. Just needed a few more workers than normal. So is this your usual common room?”

  “It is the closest one to my apartment, yes. I don’t come here often, though.” Colin shrugged.

  “Makes sense. You’re still in that honeymoon stage with your partner, right?”

  “Yes, and that will not change,” Colin responded sharply.

  “I didn’t come to talk about that,” he replied. “You are a man now, and you can choose your own path for yourself. I respect that.”

  “Then why did you come? Are you here to guilt me?” Colin asked with great tension in his voice. “I had to do what was necessary with Mother. I can’t give her what she asked for.”

  “No, I didn’t come about that. Again, you are a man now. I wanted to see you in person. Who knows if we will ever have an opportunity like this again.”

  “Why? What are you planning?” Colin said in a whisper, leaning closer to his father.

  “I think it is best that you don’t know.” He gave a long pause. “I do need a favor of you, though. We need a favor of you. I need you to alter the cameras to the access point on your watch.”

  His parents had never once told him they were one of the people who believed in living on the surface, and he never believed Ida, but now he knew. She had been right, she knew, and he had been blind. There was only one reason they would want access to the surface, and i
t suddenly became so clear to him as to why his parents asked so many questions about what cameras he watched. He suddenly became overcome with grief, with feeling betrayed. It felt as though his parents cared more for the rebellion than they did for him.

  “That’s why you won’t tell me what you’re planning. So when I get caught, I can’t spoil your plans,” Colin whispered.

  “You won’t get caught, Colin. Interferences, lost signals, static—it happens all the time. We just need you to happen to not see something.”

  “If an access magically is left open, you don’t think they will notice?”

  “It’s not going to be left open,” his father remarked. “I have twenty people who need to get to the surface. All I am asking is that no one notices when they leave.”

  “You’re crazy,” Colin said under his breath. “This whole thing is crazy. You think if twenty people disappear, the State won’t look at every single video feed?”

  “We will create a diversion elsewhere. We just need a little static, is all. You won’t be held accountable if you happened to miss something on your screen in a moment of chaos.”

  “How are these people even going to survive up there?” Colin said, barely audible.

  “Not your concern. You just need to know there will be a diversion, and the access is on your camera. We will handle the rest.”

  “This had better be quite some diversion,” Colin replied bitterly.

  “Don’t you worry about that. You have your role, and we have ours.”

  “If I do this, that is it—we are done.”

  “Colin, I love you, your mother loves you, but we are on opposing sides of a war. I know you are done, and I respect that. We just need this little favor of you. I promise you, you won’t be blamed.”

  “I won’t be blamed if my own parents run to the surface on my watch?”

  “We aren’t going, exactly for that reason.” His father reached out and took his hand. Another handshake, a touch on the shoulder. “Watch for the diversion, and then start the static on your camera. You will know when it is time.”

  ***

  Colin watched the access hatch every single day. He needed to watch it, without making it obvious he was doing so. The stress was tearing him apart; if he and Freya weren’t fighting, he wouldn’t even begin to know how to hide it from her. Luckily, the diversion came sooner than later, as the waiting had set him on edge.

  First, he saw two people in the access area dressed in free time clothing. There was no possible reason for anyone to be there dressed as they were, and so he knew. A moment later, a brawl erupted in a common room. It was so uncommon for fights, most people in the surrounding area simply stared, not knowing how to react.

  Colin deftly tuned into the frequency of the access camera and scrambled the signal so only static was visible on the screen. It only took him mere seconds, giving him time to jump from his seat and run down to the common room.

  It was best to flee from his station quickly. It would solidify his story of not understanding what had happened to one of the cameras he was responsible for. He outran the other Security officers on the move. If he arrived on the scene first, it would be more likely he would appear innocent if an investigation was to happen after the event.

  Without hesitation, he jumped right into the middle of the fight; without any warning, he grabbed a man about to throw another punch and wrestled him to the floor, binding his hands behind his back. Colin jumped up, ready to take on more, but the other officers had successfully apprehended everyone involved. The men were escorted to a holding area, and the Security officers returned to their stations.

  “Been awhile since there was any action,” James said, sitting at Colin’s station.

  Colin flinched, but recovered quickly. “Yeah, good thing too. I was worried they were going to stop letting us exercise during civil duty hours. With how peaceful it has been, it wouldn’t matter if we all went soft.”

  He did his best at impersonating his usual arrogant smirk. He didn’t dare to even look at his work station. If he looked, he knew his eyes would only find one thing; he couldn’t fight the instinct to look for his scrambled camera. So he continued to look right at James. “I see you held down the fort while the youngins did all the strenuous labor; that’s typical.”

  “You will hope for a desk job also when you get to be my age,” James replied. “Good thing I was here, too. One of your cameras went out.”

  “What? How did that happen? Did you get it back on track?” Colin asked, still not looking at the terminal.

  “Perhaps you jumped up so quickly you bumped it, threw a camera off its signal,” James replied.

  “Wow, I was excited, but didn’t know I was that excited,” Colin joked. “Did you fix it?”

  “Yes, all taken care of.” James didn’t accuse Colin, or even imply that there was something to accuse him of, yet he didn’t rise from Colin’s seat.

  “Good. Thanks for taking care of that for me. I’ll try to not get so excited next time I get a chance to get some extra exercise.”

  James slowly rose from the seat, moving aside for Colin. “Glad you enjoyed the action. You were really fast in getting there.”

  “I try. I run a lot during my regular physical activity. Maybe those other guys should too.”

  “Yes, maybe they should.” He paused. “Freya is quite the little runner too, isn’t she?”

  Colin couldn’t see his own reflection, but he could feel the color drain from his face. “Oh, yeah, she is. I have never got a chance to go run with her, but if I ever do, I have to make sure I can beat her.”

  James laughed and nodded his head slowly. “From what I have seen of that girl, perhaps it would be in your best interest to let her win.”

  Colin forced a laugh and let out a sigh. “You make a good point.”

  Chapter 22

  Colin

  Colin walked to the elevator. He palmed the scanner and stepped inside. There was only one thought that ran through his mind: At least they weren’t taking Freya. It danced around; the thought was the only thing he was truly conscious of. He knew there was no award; this was all a hoax. They wanted him to come in quietly, without a scene. How would it look if people witnessed one of the State’s own Security officers being brought in for treason?

  When James had brought up Freya at the console, after he had scrambled the camera, he thought if he was caught, they would take her too. It was a fear that haunted him, following him around taunting him every single moment. He had not only risked his own life; he had put her in jeopardy also. Hopefully working at the State house had given her immunity, that they would try him separately. She hadn’t known anything up until recently; she was innocent. If he were to die for what his father asked him to do, then let it be, but he would not let her get dragged into this.

  Anger started to build in him. My father—what a joke! What good could possibly have come from people going to the surface? Those nut jobs, thinking there was nothing wrong with the atmosphere. I could possibly lose everything because of them, and they will all be dead by now. He should have refused his father request; he should have reported the activity he saw; he should have done everything required of him in order to be able to live out the rest of his life with Freya at his side.

  To hell with the rebellion. What good could they possibly do anyway? The State could not be overthrown; it just wasn’t possible. All that ever came from these little episodes was more destruction, followed by the State exerting more power. The more people rebelled, the stronger the State became.

  It was at that moment he made the decision: give them anything and everything he was capable of. He would turn in his own parents if that is what it took. It didn’t matter; nothing mattered except for Freya. He would tell them anything they wanted, if they would just let him return to his old life with her.

  She loved him; he knew that she did, even if she didn’t know it. She came to him; she tried to stop him from leaving. Freya might seem l
ike a poster child, but that wasn’t all she was. She had a defiant streak in her also; he had seen it many times, and loved her that much more for it. Learning of his association with the rebellion had just surprised her was all. If they had had more time, she would have forgiven him. It was just startling information to learn, so much for someone like her to have to accept.

  He could have also been taken back if she had told him information she had kept from him. They were going to be fine, if only they were given the time they needed to heal. She did come after him; she didn’t just let him leave, which meant if he lived through this, there was still hope.

  Colin arrived at the security post, as instructed in his message. He had been in such a mental haze, it felt to him as though he had just stepped into the elevator, leaving Freya behind. James was the first face he saw, which was also the last face he had wanted to see. James had known, and he sat and toyed with him, like a cat and mouse. James had known the second it happened, but had waited to report him. Why? Why would James wait? The next question that came to his mind was did he? Did he wait, or did it just take the State some time to figure out what to do with me?