Taking Shots (Assassins)

by Toni Aleo

  But what if he wasn’t.

  Elli glanced down at the phone, watching it blink and beep, waiting for her to answer it.

  What if he wasn’t over her, and was just waiting for her to make a move, to come back to him. What if Harper was right? What if Papa was right? Could she really truly get over him if he left without her knowing if he still loved her? If he still wanted to be with her? Why did it matter though? She made her bed, she broke up with him, didn’t give him the time of day, even though deep in her heart, she still felt he would never hurt her.

  She slammed her hands against her head, wishing she wasn’t such a basket case. What the hell was she supposed to do? Her phone beeped again, and she glanced down at the message from Harper.

  I know you still love him. Please, come.

  She couldn’t believe it, but she picked up the phone.

  Okay, When and where?

  After hitting send, she could actually breathe. She was done trying to act like she was okay, that everything was fine. Because it wasn’t, and until she knew what he felt, she would never be able to get over him.

  Chapter 32

  Beep.

  Shea, this is crazy! I haven’t seen from you in two months! Two fucking months! I am over it! I don’t know where the hell you’re staying but let me tell you this, you have thirty minutes before I call mom and tell her the truth, that your fucking MIA!!!!!!!

  Beep.

  Shea, its Jill Mancina. I had another fax about buying your house. I know you said before that it wasn’t for sale, but are you even living in it? I mean I’m just looking out for your best interest but don’t you think a house that beautiful should be lived in? Please call me back.

  Beep.

  Adler, Damon Thompson, you know the agent of yours that you won’t return calls to. Just wanted to let you know that New York wants you, so does Boston, at double the rate Nashville is paying you. We gotta sign something, buddy, I don’t know what you’re thinking but it would be nice if you called me. Soon. Please.

  Beep.

  Unky Shea? Its Ryan, I was calling because I haven’t seen you in a really long time and I miss you a lot. The only time I see you is on TV and at the games and you don’t even come see us in the box. Mommy says I can’t say much because it’s your phone mail but I love you Unky.

  Beep.

  Shea? Its Jakob, do I need to come get you? Call me please, don’t be driving dude. I know you’re drunk. Don’t do anything stupid, please.

  Beep.

  Okay, having Ryan call you was kind of a low blow, but I’m desperate Shea, I’m worry about you, and I love you so much, please just call me. The emails saying your okay, aren’t working for me. I’m hurting and I’m your twin, please. Call me. If not for me, for Ryan and Amelia. Ryan is having surgery in a couple day- okay that was low, it’s not like its life threatening, just some tonsils, but please, call me. We all miss you.

  Shea deleted all the messages, shutting off his phone since the blonde beside him needed more attention than the people that left him messages. Yeah, Ryan’s message hurt, but Shea wasn’t going to think of that. He was gonna take home Sarah, no wait, Julie, Jackie, no, Savannah! That was her name.

  “Shea, do I need to call Jakob?” Ramsey asked. Shea shook his head as Savannah kissed down his neck, running her hand down his thigh.

  “No, Ram, I’m good. Savannah here is going to take me home, right ba-girl.”

  Shea was drunk, extremely drunk, but even in his drunken state, there was no way he would call Savannah baby. Baby was….was her.

  Savannah grinned up at him, “Oh, yeah I am.”

  So off they went, drunkenly walking to her car. A sexy little crossfire, something a girl should be driving, instead of that damn truck she had. Savannah drove like a mad man, and Shea wished he had known that before he got in the car with her, but how was he supposed to do that when he had just met her.

  When they finally arrived at his condo, she was wrapped around him like a straight jacket as he walked through the condo with her mouth glued to his neck. She ripped off his clothes, biting and sucking all over his chest as he laid her down on the bed.

  “Wow, your pretty beaten up, huh?” she asked looking over his chest, she had that same look the others had, the “oh well, at least his face is hot” look.

  “I do play hockey for a living.” She grinned seductively as she ran her tongue up from his belly button to the middle of his chest.

  “What’s this?” she asked breathlessly as she held the pink diamond engagement ring that hung around his neck in her fingers. “It’s pretty.”

  “It’s my reminder to never fall in love again,” he said before pulling it out of her fingers, so he could continue to kiss down her throat.

  “Wow, that’s intense.”

  “Yeah, it is,” he answered back, as she ripped her shirt off, her large full breasts there for his taking.

  “So I’m guessing this is a one time thing, huh?”

  “Yeah,” he said with an empty chuckle as he ignored her breasts, kissing down her stomach, before pulling down her jeans and panties with one jerk. When he looked at her warm center, he saw that she wasn’t a true blonde. What a disappointment. He fell back on his hunches, running his hands through his hair as she looked up at him.

  What was he doing?

  “Get out.”

  “Huh?” she asked looking up at him. He picked up her clothes, throwing them down on her chest as he got off the bed.

  “Go, leave. I don’t want you.”

  She gave him a maddening look as she hurried to get her clothes on, obviously embarrassed. As she parted, she screamed, “You probably wouldn’t be good, anyway!”

  He shook his head as she marched her skinny little, fake blonde ass through his condo. When the door slammed, he let out the breath he was holding.

  That was the seventh girl that week that he had kicked out. There was something wrong with a man when he couldn’t even sleep with a willing female. Something seriously wrong. Or maybe it was the voicemails he had gotten earlier, maybe that was what was fucking with him.

  Who was he kidding?

  He missed her.

  He moved his finger over the ring that hung around his neck, something he did often when he was thinking of her. He knew wearing the ring around his neck was a little masochistic of him, but ever since he found it, while cleaning his truck out a week after she had left, he had put it on his chain, wearing it as a reminder, because he never wanted to feel this way again. He never wanted to feel like his world was crashing around him and there was no one to hold it together. Not his mother, Jakob, not even Grace could help him at this point. The alcohol he consumed every night didn’t even help, but it did numb the pain, and really that’s all he could ask for at this point.

  Shea was still so mad. Mad because she didn’t believe him, mad because she wouldn’t answer his calls, his pleads, his flowers, his gifts, nothing! She ignored him, making him feel like he was worthless. He gave her everything, he was totally devoted to her, didn’t cheat, nothing, he loved only her, and this was the way she repaid him? By continuing to break his heart day after day because she wasn’t with him.

  Because she didn’t loved him anymore.

  Shea didn’t know what was more pathetic, the fact that he was alone and couldn’t even fuck a simple female or that he didn’t want anyone but her, because there was no way he could replace her.

  No matter how hard he tried.

  Their whole breakup still blew his mind. It had been ten weeks since it happened and still every day he would replay the whole fight, still not understanding how she didn’t realize that he had been played. Wondering why she threw all those things in his face, making shit up, knowing damn well she was wrong for it. He would never be with someone because of their money, didn’t he tell her that so many times before.

  Maybe not, maybe that’s why she left him because he didn’t tell her enough how much he loved her and only her. How her eyes would lig
ht up his day, how her kisses would stun him for weeks. How waking up beside her would start his day off right. How after talking to her, he wore a permanent grin for the rest of the day. How her smile made him believe that life was worth living. How he needed her kisses like he needed to breathe. Maybe he didn’t tell her enough that she was the one.

  What had he done wrong?

  Why didn’t she believe him?

  He had once thought their love could overcome anything. Boy, how wrong he was, he thought, as he crumbled down onto the hardwood of his bedroom, holding on to the ring she was supposed to wear. Holding on to the dream he thought he had with her.

  God, he was pathetic.

  When Shea opened his eyes, he was staring at a pair of the same shoes she always wore. He followed the legs up, seeing that the shoes didn’t belong to her but to his sister. A very angry sister. When she reared back and kicked him hard in the stomach, Shea let out a horrid gasp, clutching his stomach since she knocked the wind out of him.

  “You stupid piece of shit, how dare you!” she screamed as she rear back to kick him again but he got a hold of her ankle before she made contact, pushing her back, so she landed on her ass, as he tried to get away.

  “Crazy bitch! Who kicks their family!?” Shea said, getting up, and stumbling to the bathroom to promptly puke. As he expelled the contents from the night before, Grace stood above him, screaming at him.

  “Who fucking doesn’t call their only sister, their fucking twin, for two months! Who puts a five year old boy through the pain of missing their favorite person! Who Shea! Oh, yeah! You! So yes, I kick my family when they are fucking stupid!”

  “Oh, God, please shut up!” Shea said before continuing to puke, but that didn’t stop Grace.

  “Hell, no, I won’t shut up! Do you know who I had to hear that you guys had broken up!? Elli. I called her because I couldn’t get a hold of you. She couldn’t even get out that you guys weren’t together anymore she was crying so bad! What the hell did you do!”

  “I’m going to puke on your shoes if you don’t fucking leave me alone,” he warned, looking up at her as he wiped his mouth. She was enraged, ready to kill him probably.

  “You puke on my Gucci shoes that Elli got for me and I will kick you in the fucking mouth.”

  Maybe he should take his chances puking on them since she did get them for her.

  “Please, Grace, leave me the hell alone.”

  “No, not tell you answer me.”

  “If you haven’t noticed, I’m puking my brains out and not really in the mood to talk.”

  Grace let out a shrilling laugh, sending chills down his spine.

  “Oh, I wonder why that is? Oh, let me guess, because you’re a drunk now! Oh, yeah, I had to call Damon to get that information, then Jakob informed me that he has been taking care of you when you need a ride home because you knew better than to call me!”

  Shea rolled his eyes, crossing his legs as he sat on the cool tile.

  “Where the hell have you been? I have staked out this condo for weeks and you haven’t been here, why are you here today?”

  “I’ve been staying at the house; I was here because I brought someone home last night.”

  He would never bring a woman that was not her in the house he had bought for them to live the rest of their lives in.

  Never.

  “Are you serious? Oh my God, what is wrong with you?”

  “I’m heartbroken, Grace, what do you want me to say?”

  Grace just looked down at him. When the tears rushed down her cheeks, he had to look away because his own tears threaten to fall. Grace fell onto the floor beside him, wrapping her arms around him, pulling him into her lap like he was Ryan and she was gonna make it all better. Even though they both knew she couldn’t.

  “What happened, Shea? Tell me.”

  The tears came hot and fast, falling down his cheeks as he explained the biggest failure of his life to the only person that got him.

  Well the person other than her.

  Shea sipped on his coffee while not making eye contact with Grace as they sat in the little country café outside of Nashville. He was still embarrassed with how he broke down in front of her. He hated crying, he felt so weak, so pathetic, but a day didn’t pass without him shedding some tears over her. Grace didn’t say anything as she picked at her BLT that she had order, while he opted only for the cup of coffee. His stomach was still a little upset.

  Grace looked up at him, and gave him a small smile before saying, “So you haven’t tried to go see her, like before?”

  “Yeah, I did. Went to her house and she basically ignored me as she got into her truck and drove off.”

  “Maybe she didn’t see you,” Grace suggested.

  “Wouldn’t you see me if I was parked in front of the house, standing beside the truck with roses in my hand?”

  She shrugged, “Yeah I would, but I love you.”

  “Are you saying Elli didn’t? That our six months together was a lie?”

  “No, that’s that what I meant. Its just-”

  “Don’t,” he said putting his hand up to stop her, “Don’t try to explain yourself.”

  “I’m sorry Shea; I don’t know what to say.”

  Shea nodded, sipping his coffee. He didn’t know what to say either; he didn’t know what to do. Sometimes he felt like going on wasn’t worth it, because he knew he would never be happy again. She made him happy and there was basically nothing he could do to get her back. God knew he had tried.

  “Have you not run into her? Don’t you see her at the games?”

  Shea shook his head, “She doesn’t come to the games anymore, and no I haven’t run into her. Even with her working for the Assassins full time now, I still don’t see her. I actually asked Melody one time where she was since she was doing the promotional shoots for one of the events that was happening. Melody said that she had said not to schedule her at the same time as me.”

  “Wow, Shea. It’s crazy, I just don’t understand. Doesn’t she know you? You would never hurt her.”

  “I guess she didn’t. I don’t know.”

  They sat for a moment, not speaking as they collected their thoughts. Shea knew she wanted to scream at him some more, but seeing how bad he was hurting was keeping her from doing it. He also knew that he should apologize for his actions the last couple months, but he couldn’t. What other way would he have dealt with the pain? Go around acting like he was fine, that nothing was wrong? He couldn’t do that, he never hid his feelings. People knew when he was mad, hurt, or happy, so why would he apologize for the way he had been? He wouldn’t.

  “Do you want me to call her?”

  “No,” he said with a shake of his head, “Don’t.”

  “Okay.”

  “What’s done is done, she obviously doesn’t want me.”

  “I just don’t think it’s done.”

  “Grace, what else needs to happen for you to know it’s over?”

  Grace sat for a moment; he understood she was trying to get her line of thoughts straight. She may not be as emotional as he was, but when he was hurting she was, too. Shea could tell Grace was confused, not knowing what to say when she looked at him. They had never been here; never at rock bottom when it came to someone he loved. Never at the point to where if Shea didn’t change the way he had been living the past two months, he might lose everything.

  When Grace looked up at him and he saw the tears in her eyes again, he felt as if Grace had kicked him in the gut again.

  “I think it will be done when you decide on where you are playing next year.”

  He nodded, “Yeah, you are right.”

  “Because as long as you stay here, there’s always the chance you’ll see Elli.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you want to leave?”

  Shea looked up at her, looking deep into her eyes. Shea could see that she did not want him to go, and he knew that, he knew that if he ever tried to leave, Grace might
uproot the whole family to come, but could he stay there? Could he stay in the place that with every turn, everything reminded him of her.

  “I don’t want to leave you,” Shea answered since he didn’t want to hurt her, plus it was the truth.

  “But you do want to leave.” Grace added for him. They shared a long emotional look before a single tear went down Grace’s cheek, making it hard for him to breathe.

  “I don’t know.”

  When Shea entered the Assassins locker room, eyes followed him as he made it to his locker. He glanced at his name plate with his picture on it before sitting down on the bench in front of his locker. When he looked up, everyone’s eyes moved away, he guessed it was because they didn’t want to make eye contact with him. It wasn’t like he didn’t know why, he knew. Shea was aware that the team didn’t like him much anymore, that they continued to wonder why Shea was still the captain after not showing up to practice or promotional shoots. Or why he was still captain when he didn’t even rally the guys anymore, it was Jakob that did that.

  Jakob had done a lot since the break up. Between cleaning up his puke, carrying him home from bars, and trying his best to clean up the mess she had left, Shea couldn’t ask for a better best friend. He was a good man, someone that Shea would forever keep in his heart when he left Nashville, not that he had made that decision or anything. He would need to make the decision soon though, between Damon and Bryan Fisher, he was running out of time. They wanted answers, answers he didn’t have.

  When Jakob walked into the locker room, Shea’s team mates greeted him like he was the captain, not that it bothered Shea much. He probably did deserve the title more than Shea did. Jakob wasn’t a future mental patient, he was doing great. With a ring on Harper’s finger and a baby in her belly, Jakob was on cloud nine, while Shea was trying to find someplace to crawl to and die. Jakob’s happiness actually made Shea sick. He was so jealous of Jakob that he was disgusted with his self. He should be happy for his best friend, not wish the man was down in the dumps like him.