The Arrival of Richard III

by Kari August

  But the devil of an orchestra leader started up a tango without missing a beat. Elle and Dougie each grabbed a rose stem out of a table centerpiece, bit down on them, and performed the sensual movements with exaggeration. The crowd laughed. Uncle Hal glared.

  Ned was just ready to walk over to smooth Uncle Hal’s feathers when the music changed to the chicken dance. Thank God. The guests all moved to the dance floor, with Lindsey and Charlena giggling and leading the group in the flapping moves.

  Forgetting Dickie was by his side, Ned jumped a little when his cousin remarked, “That has got to be the oddest sight I have seen this century. Oh, look. Dougie and Elle are heading our way.”

  But so was Uncle Hal, with the fiercest expression Ned had ever seen on his face. Before Dougie reached the two of them, Uncle Hal stepped in his path.

  “That’s my wife you were dancing with!” Uncle Hal slammed his fist into Dougie’s surprised face, and Dougie started sagging to the floor.

  Dickie quickly reached over to support Dougie by the elbow and led him out to the terrace. “Let’s get you some fresh air, old boy.”

  Within fifteen minutes, Ned realized all was back to normal at the party, if you could call a hundred soused guests dancing to an Elvis song normal. Ned had a feeling Clarence had something to do with the level of inebriation at the party, but that was neither here nor there at the moment. What was important was that the other guests had not seen Uncle Hal’s outburst, but Aunt Elle had, and she had given him a few choice words before Hal had walked out of the celebration.

  Dougie was doing fine and had assured Ned he wouldn’t pursue the matter further—not wanting untoward publicity about dancing with a married woman. But he also had left shortly thereafter, and Ned was worried whether the incident would have any effect on their business with TBN.

  A couple days later, when Ned brought it up, Dickie was surprisingly nonchalant about it.

  Dickie shrugged. “There are more important things in life than our business, Ned.”

  Ned frowned slightly, once again surprised by Dickie’s response. “Not when you consider that we need the money for the Clear Richard the III’s Name Society to make a documentary film, saving your reputation—and getting you into heaven!”

  But Dickie had merely shrugged again.

  Dickie knew he had perplexed Ned with his lack of concern, but as the next week progressed and Ned spent all his available time adoring Lindsey, and Charlena gushed about Clarence, and Caroline went around starry-eyed over her savage, Dickie realized that he actually was caring less and less about TBN and the cookie business.

  It just wasn’t as important as seeing his own family again. Whatever his reputation in the twenty-first century, it wasn’t as imperative to fix it as it was spending time with his loved ones.

  He should have realized that all along. Because somewhere along this adventure, it had become infinitely more rewarding to make his close cousin happy than build a successful business for monetary gains that could be used to repair his reputation. Salvaging his own pride and the Plantagenet name had become obscured by a desire to help a family member. Besides, Dickie now had faith God would make the right decision about heaven or hell no matter what his twenty-first century reputation.

  Nevertheless, Dickie’s announcement still came as a shock to Ned one week later.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Ned had just walked into the cabin with Lindsey when he heard Dickie finishing his phone conversation with Snorkels.

  Dickie smiled. “TBN wants to buy us out of the King’s English shortbread cookies.”

  Ned frowned. “What do you mean? They want our supply of cookies?”

  Dickie shook his head. “No, they want to run the company themselves, make the cookies themselves, and be sole owners of the company.”

  Ned asked, “Dickie, what do you want to do?”

  Dickie’s face took on a serious expression. “It’s time, Ned.”

  “Time to sell?”

  “Yes.”

  “How much are they offering?”

  Dickie shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You’ll negotiate higher.”

  Ned smiled. “True enough. Perhaps we could throw into the bargain another chance to present York Designs as well.”

  Lindsey beamed. “That would be brilliant, Ned.” He smiled adoringly down at her.

  “But, Ned, it’s time.” Dickie drew back his attention.

  And suddenly Ned realized, with a sinking sensation, what Dickie was saying. He shook his head. He knew Dickie would want to leave eventually, but it was much too soon. Way too soon. “You can’t leave now, Dickie. Besides the business with TBN, what about the society and rebuilding your reputation?”

  “You can handle everything, Ned. You’ve been signing all the contracts with TBN just fine yourself, anyway.”

  Ned shook his head more vigorously. “Dickie, no! Don’t leave. We still have work to do.”

  Dickie continued. “I yearn for my family, Ned. I want to spend time with my best friends. Did you ever own a dog?”

  Ned frowned, puzzled. “What?! Yes, growing up.”

  Dickie smiled. “Then you understand how much I miss my beloved wolfhounds. I’m sure they need a walk.”

  Ned was speechless, trying to figure out what to say. He looked to Lindsey for support, but she just shrugged, surprised herself by the turn of events.

  Dickie continued. “Ned, I have faith that God will make the right decision concerning me. My mistake was not believing that all along.” Dickie smirked. “After all the money I’ve given the church, I ought to be in charge of heaven, not looking for admittance.”

  Ned ignored his attempt at humor. He was panicking. “But, Dickie, you can’t just leave. We need you here! I need you.”

  Lindsey reached for Ned’s hand. “Ned, he’s not going anywhere that we can’t visit or ask his advice. You mean you’re going back to England, don’t you, Dickie?”

  Dickie pointed up. “I’m going there.”

  Suddenly they heard a loud whining noise outside and turned toward the window to see a car with flashing lights appear in the driveway.

  “Police? What are they doing here?” Ned exclaimed.

  Lindsey remained calm. “You two stay here and continue your conversation. I’m sure he just wants something such as contribution to one of their funds.”

  She slowly sauntered out to the driveway, but as Ned and Dickie continued to look out the window, they saw she was becoming increasingly agitated, gesticulating with her hands expressively.

  Just when Ned had decided he should join her, she started marching back to the cabin. She slammed the door shut. “Dickie, Ned, duck down. I told him you weren’t here. He’s getting some coffee and doughnuts right now, but he’s coming back to wait for you.”

  Ned practically bellowed, “What does he want?”

  “He’s got an arrest warrant for Dickie. Something about a traffic violation and failing to appear in court. Can he do that, Ned?”

  “He sure can, especially if he wants to make an example out of Dickie now that he’s famous around Estes Park. I completely forgot about that court date. I’m so sorry, Dickie.”

  Dickie smiled smugly. “Doesn’t really matter, Ned, since I’m leaving anyway. I kind of like outsmarting that arrogant sheriff.”

  Ned shook his head. “Dickie, just wait. I’m sure I can do something about this complication. Don’t do anything you can’t reverse.”

  “Ned, it’s all right. We’ll see each other again. I’m sure of it.” Dickie softened his smile. “But take your time getting there, okay?”

  Tears came to Ned’s eyes, and Lindsey put her arm around Ned’s waist. Ned sighed. He realized there was nothing he could really say to convince Dickie he should stay. He understood Dickie’s desire to see his family again. What could possibly be more important than that? But did everything have to be so rushed? Couldn’t they have even a little more time together? Ned gazed at the look of determination in Dicki
e’s eyes, and he realized he was fighting a losing battle.

  He stepped out of Lindsey’s arms and gave Dickie a firm hug. Ned swallowed hard. “So what’s next?”

  Dickie patted his back, broke the embrace, and smiled. “Well, I think I should get the hell out of here as soon as possible. Let’s just hope Herman knows what he’s doing this time.”

  Ned nodded. “What exactly is the procedure for getting you back?”

  Dickie scratched his head. “Let’s see. Herman mumbled something about his favorite movie. Oh, yeah. I need to click my heels three times.” Dickie did that. “And then I say, ‘There’s no place like heaven, there’s no place like heaven, there’s no place . . .’”

  As Dickie recited the third chant, he could feel himself starting to rise. The last words he heard before he was sent soaring into space were from Ned, shouting, “You take care of yourself, Dickie!” and from Lindsey, exclaiming her usual, “Oh. My. God!”

  Yes, indeed.

  Dickie could tell he was hurtling quickly to his destination. He attempted some backflips, but was gusted out of alignment. He learned to just keep his head down and forward. Before he could register his surroundings, he landed with a thump on his rump on a road paved with rubies.

  He looked up and saw—“Annie!” He quickly arose. “You look so pretty, love.” He took her hand and kissed it.

  “Dickie, darling, what took you so long?”

  He opened his mouth to answer, but was abruptly grabbed from behind in a tight grip. “Papa! You’re here!”

  He turned around and hugged his son Edward. “Yes, I’m here and I’m not leaving you again.”

  Edward looked up at his father. “But where have you been? Why are you dressed so funny?”

  Dickie took Annie’s and Edward’s hands. They started walking together. “I’ve so much to tell you. There’s the most incredible invention. It’s called television. . . .”

  Epilogue

  Three Years Later

  Dickie looked down on one of the rare occasions he was allowed to do so. Ned, Lindsey, Clarence, and Charlena were sitting in leather chairs, facing an older woman who sat behind a large desk, appearing as if she could intimidate the best of knights. She looked to be a more aged version of Dickie’s own mother: beautiful and elegant, despite the years, but with one brow raised imperiously.

  “I just received word that Elle has finally reconciled with Hal. I must say, it’s about time.” She frowned in Ned’s direction. “You’re looking rather smug, Edward.”

  Ned sat up straighter. “It’s just that I might be partially responsible, Grandma Sally.”

  She tilted her head. “How so?”

  “Well, I got them talking again. I asked Aunt Elle to do me a favor.”

  “And what was that?”

  “I asked her to inquire of Uncle Hal whether he would show on his network the Clear Richard the III’s Name Society’s production of Richard III, a King Misunderstood.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “I’m an active member of the American division of that organization. Richard III’s a distant relation of ours.”

  “Yes, of course. Well, did he show it?”

  Ned smiled. “Only if Aunt Elle agreed to move back in with him. He had long ago forgiven her for any perceived slight.”

  Lindsey spoke up. “Aunt Elle did move back in, but made it clear it was only under duress. Guess that’s changed now.”

  “And how did the show do in the ratings?”

  Ned shook his head. “Not too well.”

  Lindsey added, “But Elle arranged for Ned and me to pitch a new idea to Hal. It’s a feature movie. God owes Richard III a favor and agrees to send him back to this century to improve his reputation—”

  Grandma Sally held up her hand. “Say no more. It sounds ridiculous.”

  Lindsey frowned. “Well, Hal doesn’t think so.”

  Grandma Sally pursed her lips briefly. “So be it. Let’s move on to the purpose of this meeting.” She briefly looked around the room. “Where are my great-grandsons, Richard and George? They’re not too young to learn the importance of money.”

  Charlena spoke up. “Georgie’s staying with Buff and Bunny.”

  Lindsey added, “And Richie’s with Burt and Biddy for the week. They wanted to spend more time with their grandsons.”

  Grandma Sally rolled her eyes. “Good Lord. That’s a mistake. They’ll be buying those two youngsters sports cars before you know it.”

  Clarence snorted. “I doubt it. They just bought themselves a new luxury cruiser.”

  Grandma Sally nodded and pondered a moment. “Perhaps I should start a new competition between my great-grandsons—”

  Ned and Clarence were instantly on their feet, exclaiming in unison, “No!”

  They both sat back down, and Ned said more sedately, “We don’t want anything to come between their friendship. The two already get along well together.”

  Grandma Sally frowned. “Are you saying this competition came between you two?”

  Clarence answered, “It almost did, Grandma Sally, but I—”

  Charlena interrupted, “But Neddie and Clarence are too good to let that happen.”

  Grandma Sally nodded. “Now, Edward, I understand your law firm is doing well.”

  “Yes, I just added a new associate.”

  “And, Clarence, you’ve just opened your third club.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Grandma Sally narrowed her eyes. “No scantily clad women?”

  Clarence shook his head as Charlena sat more primly.

  “How is York Designs doing?”

  Lindsey smiled. “Never better. Caroline, our executive in charge, has just hired our eleventh employee.”

  Ned added, “Caroline is now a relation of yours, Grandma Sally. I know you like to keep track of that sort of thing.”

  Grandma Sally frowned slightly. “How are we related?”

  Charlena answered, “See, my stepmother Connie’s nephew is Aren. Caroline and Aren just got married.” She sighed. “It was a really beautiful ceremony.” She looked over at Lindsey. “I forgot to tell you. Cody just called. He got into business administration at Colorado.”

  Lindsey grinned. “That’s fantastic. We’ll hire him as soon as he’s finished his education.”

  “That’s if Daddy doesn’t grab him first. Those two get along great.”

  Lindsey’s face then turned serious. “Charlena, after this meeting, I need to talk to you about the clothing manufacturer. We could use your help again.”

  Charlena nodded over at Lindsey. “No problem.”

  Grandma Sally interjected. “If you two young women have finally finished your business meeting, I would like to conclude mine.”

  Lindsey chuckled over at Charlena, but Charlena was taken aback. She apologized sincerely, “We’re sorry, Grandma Sally.”

  Clarence reached over and rubbed the back of Charlena’s neck briefly. “That’s okay, babe. Grandma Sally’s always mad.”

  Grandma Sally frowned. “As I recall, only when you misbehaved, young man.”

  Clarence grinned. “Which was always.” He looked over at Ned, who was trying to hold back his laughter.

  Grandma Sally cleared her throat. “In any case, I have decided the winner of this competition.”

  Everyone quieted and looked her way. “You both have more than lived up to my expectations. You have successful careers and, more important, happy home lives. The winner, therefore, is . . . both of you.” Grandma Sally smiled.

  Ned looked over at Clarence and laughed. “High five, cuz.”

  Clarence raised his hand. “Absolutely. High five, cuz.”

  “Now come over here and give your grandma a hug.”

  The two dutifully obeyed.

  Dickie felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around. “What is it, Herman?”

  “Eddie wants to know if you want to join in a game of cards.”

  Dickie shook his head.

>   “Are you sure? God’s agreed to play. Oh, and I’m catering. I’m serving nachos, pepperoni pizza, and Eddie’s new favorite, macaroni and cheese in shortbread cups. I always like to please that Eddie. He’s such a charmer, isn’t he? The life of the party.”

  Dickie said concisely, “Eddie was, is, and always will be the life of the party.” He shrugged. “But I forgive him.”

  “Then what are you going to do tonight, Dickie?”

  Dickie smirked. “I was thinking of sticking a frog between Tudor’s sheets. That ought to scare him.”

  Herman looked aghast. “Oh, I don’t know if I would do that. . . .”

  Author’s Note:

  Dear Readers:

  Richard III was, is, and always will be controversial. Deciphering fact from supposition can be difficult. Certainly, finding his remains in a parking lot helped clear some misconceptions. But competing with Shakespeare’s view of the man is a huge endeavor.

  I was driven to write the novel because it bothered me that a deformity could be used as justification for labeling him as evil for centuries. Did he not deserve at least some credit for his changes in the justice system? I loved learning that he presided over a court, involving the poorest of individuals. But I doubt most readers enjoy earnest history books and detailed historical fiction novels as much as I do.

  I decided to approach Richard III with a lighter approach. Not always easy, considering he did order Hastings’s execution. That is a sure fact. I cannot forgive him, but can only try to understand his action. But what about his nephews? If you cannot already guess, I lean heavily on the side that he did not heinously murder them.

  So why did I have Richard meet up with Dougie? From personal experience. When I was evacuated from my home in Colorado due to a wildfire, I idly turned on a hotel television to a shopping network, even though I had never bought a thing on such a show. For the first time in days, I was laughing and reveling in the fun the host provided. I think everybody needs a Dougie in their life, and I gave one to Richard.